Masquerade
by twilightheaded23
Summary: Edward and Bella have perfected charades of normalcy for the sake of protecting themselves. But when their lives are forced to intertwine, will they be able to see through each other's walls? M for lang/slight angst/lemons . Human/AH/Slightly OOC
1. Chapter 1

**Masquerade**

**A/N Hi everyone! This is my first official fic so please be gentle! I can't being to express how much I love this site and the wonderful authors who have inspired me. So thank you to them, and enjoy!**

**As of now, I also do not have a beta and would love one, another pair of eyes definitely helps!**

**BE WARNED: this is rated M for language, some angst, and eventual lemons galore. Also, if you have a particular aversion to fluff, these first couple of chapters might not be for you, but they are to set up the scene, and what can I say, I like to paint a picture!**

**Chapter 1**

**BPOV**

Just nine more minutes… holy crow the little hand moved ridiculously slow tonight. As I checked my ancient Timex for about the millionth time that, I weaved through the pool tables on my way to the bathroom with the goal of killing some time to make the last few minutes of my shift pass with the speed of a turtle instead of a snail.

I had been working at Wolfe's Sports Bar since my freshman year of college and three years later, I never failed to appreciate the cleanliness of the girls bathroom. For some reason it stayed miraculously hygienic save for the fantastic "so-and-so has a small dick" graffiti. I remembered my first week here, where nepotism had clearly won out over my lack of my skills. Dropping three trays of drinks, not to mention a plate of chili fries, on my first shift didn't sway anyone in my favor.

My partial scholarship was definitely a godsend but knew I would have to work my ass off to keep my head above water. Retail wouldn't cut it. Coffee shops required actually waking before the sun, definitely not. Administrative whatever required daytime hours that I couldn't manage with classes, so no. Ergo, I ended up groveling at my best friend's feet for a job at the bar he helped manage. I knew Jake wouldn't turn me away, but he's also privy to the knowledge that I have no balance, grace, or ability to function without tripping – so he stuck me behind the bar after that abysmal first day. Minimal walking or dishes to hold.

It wasn't a bad deal. I made decent tips, though I quickly found out if I dressed slutty enough the tips would increase. But if the sluttiness increased, the amount of creepers who hit on me exponentially shot up as well. Jake got too protective, fights ensued, patrons got pissed, and I covered up. Eventually I found a balance between push up bras and low-rise jeans, thanks to my wise roommates, and learned it's not how much skin you show, but how you show it.

Alice and Rose were full of useful, albeit girly, information.

I checked the mirror, adjusted the girls, and fluffed the hair - anything to make the tip jar a little less glass-half-empty looking. Might as well make the last few minutes count.

Eight and half more minutes… eight minutes and 20 seconds until this dreaded shift was over and I could get the FUCK out of here. Not that I didn't enjoy my job. Being a bartender at one of the more lucrative sports bars near campus definitely had its perks. Eye candy galore usually being my personal favorite.

But THIS? This TORTURE? I never worked a Thursday night shift. Thursdays are, after all, the new Fridays, especially when it's the first week of classes and my earliest class on Fridays happens to be 11 am. Not only were Thursday nights the best to go out, but there was a huge blowout party to ring in the new school year. And I had a new outfit to wear after scouring the vintage shops. And I was having a rockin' hair day. AND on top of all that, Alice needed a girls' night out like nobody's business, full of shots and boy trashing and grinding on said boys like playthings. Being in control was the key.

Letting herself fall for a guy while abroad this summer in Paris, knowing full and well she would be leaving, was just dumb. A classic mistake, yet very understandable.

Listening to Alice describe warm Parisian nights under the Eiffel Tower wrapped around some guy with delicious bottles of wine and desserts while he purred French into her ear… it was enough to even make cynics like me and Rose wish for a piece of that action. But as it turned out, Jean, or Pierre, or whatever Snooty Van-Frenchman's name is, was a douche bag to the fullest.

On her last night in town, my bestie discovered the little French fuck diddling one of the students in her program. In her dorm room no less! Son of a lying-bitch-ho bag-whore.

So now, it was up to me and Rosalie to cheer our little pixie up. Hit the parties, pick up men, make them squirm and leave them wanting more. That was usually the plan unless one of them happened to weasel their way home with Alice or Rose.

As a personal rule, I never partook in that course of action. Oh I knew what guys said: "Bella Swan, what a tease. Totally frigid." But you only get burned like I did once. And I made a decisive "Never Again" policy after that.

But that doesn't mean I don't have fun. There was the occasional hook up, a girl has needs. However, sex was usually off the table. We would round the third base and I would normally be so fed up and bored that they got the boot. The one exception to that scenario I would forever regret. Poor guy, he just didn't see it coming… and neither did I. I thought I was past my shit. Oh well, he had graduated so at least I didn't have to worry about an awkward run-in. Now, thanks to one of friend's naughtily themed birthday party, battery powered devices became my new best friend.

The flirting stuff came easily enough to me, with the help of my dynamic duo. They taught me a few things that come in handy, especially at work.

And usually when the three of us went out, it was an affective combination.

Rose, with her I-could-be-on-the-cover-of-Maxim good looks, Alice with her tiny don't-you-want-to-protect-me-frame-but-I'm-secretly-super-tough, and me with, well, I wasn't quite sure.

But no. Here I was on a non-game night which equaled to a minimal crowd of after work guys still in their suits avoiding going home to their wives. Gah, Jake so owed me for this one.

As I walked through the tables on my way back to the bar, making sure the few customers still there weren't in need of any refills, I spotted the three of them in the back corner booth. Easily the most attractive men in the place. I gave them a quick scan. Tall, huge and burly with a smile that stretched to his eyes, hot for sure but he definitely knew it. Lanky, lean with a bit of rock-star in the mix, oh my my… The third one had his back to me, but he was hunched over his glass shaking with laughter at something tall and burly said. Cute hair…

Well at least there was something nice to look at while I closed out.

Cute hair suddenly got up and started walking over to the bar. I got the full 360 view this time and HOLY SHIT. Taller than I thought, cut but not bulging, and ridiculously out of my league, even for a good hair night. As he got closer before hanging a right to the bar, I saw his five o'clock shadow trailing a stunning jaw line, mmm lickable… but then I noticed his eyes. A piercing moss green. What we liked to refer to as panty dropper eyes. One good staring contest with this man and any girl would need some fresh underwear. But then I saw what was under the eyes, huge purple-ish blue bags… and with that, as any good bartender should be able to tell, comes a moody customer. Well shit.

He made it to the bar and began looking around for something, and I realized he was looking for me, my relief person hasn't shown up yet and I left the bar unmanned. Oops. Well maybe he was ordering for the rest of his group and I could wriggle a decent tip out of him.

I strolled up to dark and handsome, getting ready to shake my thing, but I can literally feel the waves of emotion rolling off of him. His hands were yanking at his hair and I could hear him sighing. Hmm, he seemed fine at his table. _Quick wit don't fail me now…_

"Hey, you look like you could use a drink, or a good fuck. And I can get you halfway there," I said while leaning on the bar just enough to push the girls together in a slightly sluttish way and looking up through my eyelashes. I called that one "The Rosalie."

I know I have a bad mouth on me, but for some reason most guys at this place somehow found it endearing. I would never understand. But this one seemed a little taken aback, squeamish even.

"Hmm, ahhhh, no offense," he looked down awkwardly, "but I'm not exactly into underage girls. Getting me drinks or otherwise."

_Oooh, a gentleman_. He almost choked on the last word, but his gaze traveled up to the area just below my neck. _Good, he's not totally immune_. _And damn my baby face!_ It always seemed to bite me in the ass.

I let out a genuine laugh as I pushed my ass up on the bar, spun around and hopped down on the other side, a skill that took me at least a year to master.

"Well, lucky for you I'm not underage. And I happen to be the reigning bartender for the next five minutes. So, like I said, I can get you halfway there," I said with one of my best smiles.

"Oh, ha, well, then uhh, Macallan, two fingers, neat. Thanks."

_Sure thing green eyes_. Man he was flustered… it's like he had never been hit on. Phft, yeah right. I'm sure he's gotten way worse, and from non-bartenders not looking for a big tip… but from whores looking for a big di…

"So, if you're not underage, then how old are you exactly?" he asked, almost rudely, while interrupting my dirty train of thought.

I suppose my height and build don't exactly correlate with my age, but damn. I at least thought I looked 21…

"I'm actually 23," I told him as I glance at my watch. I don't want to be rude to cute hair, and with a closer view I upgraded him to sexy, tousled, copper colored, JBF hair, but if I was going to make it back to my apartment in ten minutes, get ready, and manage to pre-game before 10:30 pm, I needed to keep the conversation short.

I poured his drink and offered to keep his tab open. He declined and just slid some bills my way.

"That's all you," he managed to say with a smirk. "It looks like you have somewhere to be, I wouldn't want to keep you."

_Shit, damn my unstealthiness_. "Oh, erm, sorry about that, thank you. I didn't mean to be rude, I just, and there's this party, my roommates…" I was starting to babble. "It's over at Warehouse, supposed to be a big thing."

"Warehouse huh? The rave-type place that's too small with horrendous music and lights that would give anyone a migraine?"

"The very one. The lights aren't so bad with the right amount of social lubrication, just FYI. And it will be the best option for my roommate to find someone to pull her out of her post breakup slump." I started feeling defensive, wondering why his comment annoyed me so much. "And my friend is spinning tonight, so hopefully the music won't be so 'horrendous'." I air quoted, I can't believe I air quoted.

I started wiping down the counter with a little too much force.

"Whoa sorry, I just remember that place from when I went to school, and it sounds like it hasn't changed. But I'm sure your friend will play something better than that annoying techno-house fuckery they usually do."

Feisty, I liked it, and another laugh bubbled out. "I'm sure he'll appreciate the commendation."

He smirked back. Hmmm I rather liked that too.

"I'm Edward," he said while extending his hand.

"I'm B-"

"BELLLLLLAAA, what are you still doing here?" Jake swaggered through the back door behind the bar in his muscle t-shirt and perfectly ripped jeans. "Don't you have some huge party to get to? I know I was pain asking you to cover Kate's shift tonight, so I'm here to give you…" he checked his watch, "an extra 3 minutes."

"Hey Jake! Yeah, I was just getting ready to head out, so thanks, awesome timing," I said dripping with sarcasm.

"Any time, babe."

I turned in Edward's direction, "Well it was nice meeting you. You and your friends should stop by more…" He was already walking back to his table. Ouch. Oh well, sweet tip sexy hair, thanks. As I grab my things from under the bar, Jake touched my arm.

"Hey, so my dad is coming down this weekend and he's staying through Sunday," he whispered. "But we're going fishing that day so everything should be fine. I'll just text you when we leave and leave the key under the mat? Unless you wanted stop by and say hi before we go, but I thought that might be - "

"No no, texting me is fine, thanks Jake. But definitely tell your dad I say hi." My mind started to wonder to Sunday and my stream of consciousness takes an emotional turn. But before I got dark and twisty I immediately thought of Alice and the night ahead. My tried and true method of camouflage: always think of something else.

I waved bye to Jake and dug around my purse for my keys, while mentally preparing myself for the glorious night of debauchery about to ensue. As I climbed into Stella, my wonderful truck who I could never give up even though she's ancient, Edward's face flashed to the forefront of my mind and I couldn't help but wish Jake hadn't given me those extra three minutes.

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**Reviews pretty please? Much love, thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for sticking with me! POV's will be alternating a lot, for some reason it's just how my brain works. **

**And as I forgot to mention this before, Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight, all things Twilight just happen to own me.**

**Chapter 2**

**EPOV**

Emmett was in fine form tonight. He is one of the few people who can make me really laugh on even my shittiest day. For a big brother I couldn't ask for more.

And Jasper was just being Jasper. He wasn't nearly as loud as Emmett, but for some reason it was hard to feel down when I'm around my best friend. These two might actually be the life saviors I needed tonight.

My brother was telling us about this girl he met the other at a candy store. And even though he's a year older than me, he has a sweet tooth as bad as a five year-old.

"So of course I'm chatting her up, I mean she's cute AND works at a candy store, seriously, what more could I want? So I look down to check out her, 'Milk Duds'?"

Jasper shakes his head. "Goobers?"

"Mounds?" Emmett fires back.

"No. I got it. Double Bubbles."

Emmett slams his hand down on the table, "YES! Nice one."

And I even laughed at the aptly named body parts. I finished the rest of my drink. "Guys, I'm going to get a refill, you good?"

They were still working on the pitcher of beer and declined. As soon as I walked away from the table I felt my smile fall, the peaceful moment allowing me to just _be_. I got up to the bar and looked around for our blonde waitress from before. Ugh, she was a total nightmare. Too much cheap perfume, overly attentive, and whoever did her boob job must have been blind with a shaky hand. I was not looking forward to dealing with her again.

I grabbed a seat on one of the stools and next thing I know I'm eye level with perfect breasts being squeezed together mere inches from my face and I'm assaulted with the most mouthwateringly sweet smell I've ever known.

I looked up into a pair of big brown eyes, thinking this girl can't be more than 18, and then I hear those words out of her mouth and it sounded like she was offering to take me home.

I told her I wasn't interested in anyone under 21 and instead of pouting and walking away, she laughed at me, hopped over the bar and said she was the only the bartender. Apparently there were others words involved besides "good fuck" but I had been too distracted to listen.

I gave her my drink order and saw that she was practically bouncing on her toes with energy. She flipped her hair behind her shoulder and again my nostrils were greeted with her delicious scent. She told me she's actually 23 and I found it difficult to believe her, there was something so innocent about her, yet she was also so confident. Until I said it looked like she had somewhere else to be, that ruffled her feathers a little. Brown eyes started to babble (which was the cutest thing I had seen in a while) and then was telling me about this party she was suppose to go to and I recognized the name of the place. From what I could recall, it was always overcrowded and had horrible music, but we followed the ladies to wherever they wanted to party, so I had been there a number of times. I was smirking over some of the shit Jazz and I would get in to at that place, when I realized I still didn't know her name and I really, really wanted to.

"I'm Edward."

I sat there, hoping, praying even, that my armor was strong enough for this. This girl, this little nubile, spunky, bouncing ball of life, sure as hell didn't need my mood to affect hers. She was light, airy, full of energy. And it was like I was warming up by just being near her. For lack of a better comparison, she was a fire and I just wanted to warm my hands by her for a few minutes.

Her little pink lips opened as she starts to reply, "I'm B…" She couldn't finish because a huge Vin Diesel-with-hair type practically gorilla walks behind the bar. He was obviously her boyfriend because I immediately saw the split second of relief that washed over her face in his presence. I made a quick exit, expecting my usual indifference to take over, but I couldn't let the short interaction go.

Well at least I knew her name, Bella. Beautiful, I thought. Her eyes were chocolate, but not murky, like you could see right through them… And her breasts weren't exactly hard to look at either. Perfect. Natural, I could tell. And her hair, I could see it spread across my pillow… my piano…

Whoa, where the fuck did that come from? I talked to her for less than three minutes; I needed to shake it off. I put my guys night face back on as I headed back to Emmett and Jasper.

I had just moved back to Seattle a couple of months ago, trying to get away from… things. And Emmett and our friend since the sandbox, Jasper, were doing their damnedest to pull me out of my personal black hole. Plus, I was looking for anything, any inspiration whatsoever to help me compose again. Except for booze, that hadn't helped, which I unfortunately learned the hard way. So this was officially the first time I had consumed any alcohol in the last three months _not_ in an effort to drown my sorrows.

I sat back down and ran my hands through my hair, still rather perplexed at the flicker of emotion I got from the girl. Not to mention the unexpected rush of blood down south. Not that it wasn't a welcomed reaction, I thought shit had stopped working down there since -

"Took you long enough, dude. You get her number or what?" Emmett asked. "I don't think I recognize her, but she is damn cute. Way better than that other chick."

In the spirit of guys night I was deep in the act of pretending everything was fine, almost to the point where I sometimes believed it myself. So I was joking right along. At least it seemed to appease the two of them.

"Oh yeah. We had sex too, right on the bar."

"Whatever, she was totally in to you. The smile, the hair flip… all the signs were there." He demonstrated both of those in the most girlish fashion possible, which elicited a real guffaw from me. Jasper actually spit out his beer he laughed so hard.

"Jesus Em, if I didn't know any better I would say it looks like you've practiced those moves before," Jasper said.

"I'm just saying, if you know what to look for, the quicker their pants are on the floor!" Emmett cracked himself up with that one. Such a dumb jock type, you'd never guess he was one of those uber accounting/finance types. He hid his inner nerd well.

"Well she certainly ran out of here pretty quick." Jasper gestured to the front of the bar where I saw a flash of dark brown hair going out the door.

"She had some party to get to." I gulped down part of my drink. "You know, that place Warehouse we use to go to? It's still around and apparently it's going to be 'huge'," using the appropriate air quotes.

"Oh yeahhh, the place with the huge-ass back to school party?" Jasper asked. It was Jasper's last year as a grad student; he was finishing up his Masters in philosophy and it made sense that he had heard about the festivities I guessed. "Is she a student?"

"No, I don't think so. I thought she was because she didn't even look old enough to be in a bar. But she said she was 23, so she probably graduated because she didn't say anything about being a student. I guess she just heard about the party."

"We have GOT to go! Cheap booze, sweaty dancing, and hot eighteen year olds with daddy issues. Done, decision made," Emmett stated.

"Ugh, guys no way. Plus, I start work tomorrow, I do not need to be around a bunch of students getting hammered… and I just don't think, I'm not sure, I…" I started to hyperventilate. Guys night was one thing, but actually going out dealing with a huge crowd, I wasn't quite there yet. "Plus, what if we see Bella there? She'll totally think I'm stalking her or something, and I'm pretty sure that's not a good a thing."

"Bella, huh? So the hot chick has a name… and no way," Jasper chimed in, "It's actually supposed to be a decent party, really packed, I'm sure you won't see her. And you're not much older than then general student population, so you won't be that creepy old guy there. I know that excuse was coming next."

They were going to win. And to a certain degree I wanted them to. I needed to get out, clear my thoughts; maybe the creative juices would start flowing again if I wasn't so in my own head all time.

"Alright, fine, but I'm only going in wingman capacity."

"And we will abuse your heroin-chic musician good looks to the best of our abilities." Jasper concluded.

We sent Emmett up to the bar for another round having unanimously decided shots were needed before we got going.

The ogre was still back there, but at least it was Emmett comparing muscle size instead of me. I'm not puny, but there's only so much a guy's ego can take. Plus the last thing I wanted was to hear him talk about Bella, which probably wouldn't even be brought up, but still.

I had met some of Jasper's friends before and they were pretty cool – graduate students tend to be less annoying than the undergrads who just got out of their parents' house and wanted to cut loose. But as preparation for the onslaught of craziness, we decided to deal with them with a little bit of Jose.

Cheers, and thank god I don't have to be anywhere too early…

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**Reviews taste better than shots of Cuervo...**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Welcome back! I have the first few chapters written and many plot points swirling around in my head, so hopefully updates will not be too far apart. **

**Chapter length will vary, these first few will probably be on the shorter side. Things are still rather fluffy, but like I said, it's setting up for things to come.**

**As always: SM owns all things Twilight, all things Twilight just happen to own me.**

**  
Chapter 3**

**BPOV**

"Isabella Marie FUCKING Swan!"

I heard that lovely twist on my name as soon I cracked open the door to my apartment, which was miraculous considering how loud the music is.

Ahhh yes, offensive women degrading rap, our personal choice for pre-party music, was blaring through the speakers. Alice swiveled toward me while belting out the lyrics and I couldn't help but join her.

_  
I met this girl in Atlanta, let me play in her mizouth_

_She keep my dick so hizzard, it never goes Sizzoft_

_From the side to the side, the bitch gon' get it all_

_From the top of my dizzick, to the bottom of my bizzalls_

Kilo, a classic choice. I laughed as a blue plastic cup is thrust in my hand. I took a sip, almost gagged and choke out, "Good lord, who made this batch?! I feel that as a bartender I should have some say in what goes into these mixes." My throat was still burning.

"That would be Alice," Rose said while checking her makeup in the living room mirror. "She wants us to sprout hair on our chests apparently."

"Ha, well I feel more manly already."

_  
I take three little bitches and I put 'em in a line_

_I take four, five six, and blow dem hos minds_

_It'll take one more, before I go for mine_

_Seven bitches get fucked, at the same time_

I was still sipping and singing, and felt my alter party ego getting ready to play.

"Bella! Go change, slap on the push up and thong we left on your bed and get your ass back out here! Angela and Jessica will be here in a few minutes!" Alice twirled around the kitchen and I knew she was already a few beverages deep.

I gave myself mental props knowing this is exactly what she needed before classes picked back up.

"Wait a sec," my mind caught up with my ears. "You guys didn't buy me anything right? You know it makes me feel weird."

"Ugh Bella, accept it, your boobs need as much attention as your hair does. We know you only splurge on hair stuff, so while we were back-to-school shopping today we saw the set and thought of you. Get over it."

I love Rosalie more than anything, but damn the woman was bossy and I knew it wasn't worth fighting over.

Walking down the hall to my room I shook my head and resigned myself to not winning this one.

I walked in to my little sanctuary plopping on my plush but well-used bed as I grabbed the lingerie. To their credit the bra and panties were absolutely beautiful, silky and black, with a hint of lavender lace in the right places. Shame no one would be seeing the goods…

As I changed out of my work jeans and into my tighter party jeans, I took another pull of whatever Alice's vile concoction was and let the warmth spread through me.

The girls and I loved to have a good time, but an alcoholic I was not. The hangovers and worthless day to follow usually weren't worth it. But this was a special night, and sometimes it's just nice for things to get a little fuzzy.

Heavy mascara, some chapstick and a spritz of my "sexy time" perfume, a.k.a. Calvin Klein's Euphoria, and I was ready to go.

I walked back to the kitchen/living room area after I slipped on my chucks. There was no way in hell I was even going to _attempt_ wearing heels with a full night of dancing planned. I could barely walk in them sober and they made my feet hurt, which in turn just made me cranky, so I figured why deal with it.

"Oooh Bella," Alice cooed while Rose simply settled for a catcall. "The back cleavage totally works."

I spun around revealing my nearly backless shirt. It had one of those thin straps across the middle to hold things together and in turn gave me peace of mind so I could actually wear a bra with it.

"Gah, except for the shoes Bella, you're killing me Smalls!" Alice whined while busting out our favorite Sandlot quote.

She was definitely the fashionista of the group and totally rubbed off on Rosalie, but I held strong. There are just some things that were non-negotiable. And I maintain she has a height complex and only wears heels to make herself feel better.

"You know I'll get annoyed if my feet hurt, and we're going to this thing to dance and let boys ogle our goodies. And if I'm in pain I'll bitch out and leave early. So really, I'm wearing them for you," knowing that would totally win her over.

"Fuckin' right it's for me! Tonight is officially 'Alice moves on from that French bastard' night!"

A collective cheer of "woo hoos" went up as we clinked our Solo cups and proceeded with our own mini-dance party.

Jessica and Angela arrived and we continued the tradition of shots, cheap champagne, and the dance party before calling a cab.

We were in a fit of giggles and well on our way from being buzzed to tipsy as we stumbled down the hall. Our poor neighbors… we didn't live in the traditional college student budget apartment complex, although that would have been fine with me. So we lived with an older crowd and noise violations weren't exactly uncommon for us.

My crazy roommates each came from really financially stable families, and by stable I mean, friggin rich. And their folks were adamant about not letting us live in the dumpy student apartments closer to campus.

At first I refused to let Alice and Rosalie pay more than me, but they, along with their parents once they understood how close the three of us were, insisted that after we were out of the required dorm living freshman year, we live in a nicer place. So sophomore year we moved in the corner unit of a super nice complex and we haven't left since.

We crawled into the cab where Alice managed to use her wiles to not only get us a discounted group rate, but she got him to crank the radio so we could continue the party.

The girl had a gift.

The cabbie, who incidentally gave Alice his card, dropped us at Warehouse where a huge line was already forming. Lucky for us, Rose knew the bouncer from back in our under 21 days when he would always let her in without an ID, and the five of us skipped passed the line.

The place was already packed and pulsing with energy. Even the booths that lined the upper level were filled and people perched on the railing watching the throng of people dance below.

"Woo! To the bar!" Jessica declared.

We start squeezing our way through the people, Alice giving the not-so-accidental boob brush against any guy she wiggled by. Bringing up the end of our line, I caught a few of their double takes, sometimes triple takes as Rosalie sauntered by, and I could only laugh as they pretended not to notice.

I spotted my friend Eric at the deejay booth and gave him a wave. He was pretty good and currently scratching together a mix of hip-hop and rock that was making the speakers vibrate.

The bartender handed us our drinks and we made our way to the middle of the bouncing crowd. The liquor was doing its job and I was feeling good as we start dancing and moving in the typical fashion. I could hold my own as long as there was decent music playing. My natural clumsiness seemed to disappear if there was an outside rhythm I could focus on. Hence why I almost always had my iPod in my ears.

The swirling blood-red lights only intensified the pulse of the music and I could feel myself getting lost in the darkness. It was liberating, no thinking required. But as I closed my eyes to relish the moment, I had the distinct feeling another pair of eyes was not closed, but watching me instead.

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**Thanks for reading! Reviews feel better than a boob-brush from Alice.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Welcome, welcome! Thanks for reading! **

**Club scenes are fun...**

**Link for the song "Ain't No Rest for the Wicked" by Cage the Elephant is on my profile**

**As always, SM owns all things Twilight, all things Twilight just happen to own me.**

**  
Chapter 4**

**EPOV**

Fucking Christ this place was filled the brim with people, more than half of which were vivacious little coeds. Too bad none of them did a damn thing for me…my thoughts started to drift to _her_ and the nightmare I had left behind in Chicago.

But I caught a glimpse of long brown hair and was immediately reminded of my sassy bartender. The image of Bella danced around my head. She was beautiful, and not in the traditional sense. Translucent skin and chocolate hair weren't typical for the female population these days and that only made me appreciate her more.

Her skin was almost transparent so when she blushed it could see it from start to finish, and her hair, fuck it had smelled incredible. Sweet like the inside of a bakery, but there was something so familiar about the smell I couldn't place. But it really wasn't her outer appearance that drew me in; she radiated with energy, hummed with life. I couldn't help but be drawn to her.

And her ass, dear sweet lord. I thought about palming it, squeezing it and massaging it right before I took her from behind… and now was I sporting a massive hard on. Excellent. Since my dick's reawakening earlier, it was springing back to life with a vengeance.

"Edward!" Emmett had to yell for me to hear him. "What do you think?"

"About what?" I adjusted myself hoping it wasn't as noticeable as it felt. Jesus it had been a while, I had forgotten what it was like to have an erection in public.

He shook his head and I had clearly missed something he and Jazz were discussing.

"What do you think of heading down there and actually being a little social?" Emmett was practically jumping out of his seat.

"Oh, um, I'm cool up here. You guys can go and I'll hold the table."

The last thing I needed was unnecessary friction from barely-legal girls.

"Ugh, shit you need to loosen the fuck up," Emmett said with his determined voice.

Eventually I declined enough so that they left me up there to observe. Truth be told, it was a major accomplishment for myself that I hadn't left already. It was frustrating because this kind of situation used to be my thing. I was good at it, the dancing, flirting, the meaningless small talk and joking. Until _her_… cue my limp dick. Well at least that was an efficient, albeit morbid, way to get my cock to calm itself.

Trying to shake myself out of it, I took another swig of my drink as my gaze wandered looking for Jasper and Emmett. Usually Jasper was a little more reserved, but Emmett's boisterous nature brought out his inner extrovert.

So I finally find them in the middle of the dance floor attempting to hold a conversation while dancing with two girls. Em of course went straight for the leggy blonde, she was gorgeous, even I could tell from my bird's eye view.

And Jasper was practically bent over at the waist to reach a little brunette's ear.

I assumed the girls were part of group seeing as how they tried to remain in the same area. I tried to gauge who else was in their little bubble when I saw her.

Bella.

The rest of her hair was down now and fanned out around her as she moved with the not-so-god-awful music. (I'll admit if her friend was spinning, they weren't that bad, but this kind of style just wasn't really me.) Her eyes were closed and I was captivated watching her sway to the music, it was unbelievably sexy, and she was completely unaware of it. The lights danced around her illuminating her every move and making her hair appear ebony. It was like those scenes in a movie with tunnel vision and the rest of the world fell away. She twirled around and I caught a glimpse of the alabaster skin that made up the back of her torso.

_Jesus fuck, almost her entire back was exposed… skin looked so soft._

And I was tenting. Again. In a matter of minutes. You would think I was 12 again and just discovered Skinamax.

One of her friends leaned over and yelled something in her ear that made her turn around.

Bella saw that Emmett and Jasper had successfully wooed her friends into a dance and she threw her head back and laughed, turned back around, and started dancing even more vigorously with her other friends.

Her wiggling attracted a typical Mr. Frat-tastic and he and his popped collar, _oh for fuck's sake_, grinded their way on to her. I expected her to immediately reject his advances considering her ape-ish boyfriend from the bar. To my surprise she grabbed his shoulders and pushed herself closer. Interesting…and ridiculously hot. Fuck, did this mean she was single? Did this mean I was jealous?

Which meant, that could, should, be me down there. And with that thought I grew impossibly harder. I thought my dick was going to break if it kept pushing against my jeans.

All of sudden I found myself downstairs, how had that happened? Oh, I was following my man-compass, that made sense. I wove my way through the inebriated couples to find my boys and hoping they hadn't moved on to different girls yet. Their short attention span would not help my cause.

I finally found them: Emmett still with his supermodel and Jasper with the pixie.

The song changed just then and Bella politely smiled at frat boy and said what looked like 'thanks for the dance.' I noticed her shirt was a deep, royal blue. It made her skin look like cream and I knew I had to touch her before the night was over.

Frat boy got all dejected looking and walked away, _hah_. Bella hadn't noticed me yet so I quickly tried to think of the best way to approach her, and break the touch barrier. That needed to happen, like, ten minutes ago.

I lightly put my fingers on her shoulder and said, "Good thing you got rid of him. I don't think your boyfriend back at the bar would have approved." I smiled so she knew I was semi-joking and reveled in the fact that I finally got to feel her skin.

_Please remember me, please remember me… _

And in the back of my mind was the less prominent thought that I needed to confirm that muscle boy was in fact, her boyfriend.

"Edmund!" She squealed and threw her arms around me like we had known each other forever. (Score one for me, but had gotten my name wrong, swing and a miss) I could feel her arms slide against my neck and the feeling was indescribable, her flesh was smooth and had the lightest sheen of sweat from dancing. Perfection. But then she pulled back, confusion swept across her face as my words seeped in. "Boyfriend? Oh you mean Jake?" I could smell the booze wafting off of her as she started laughing in my face. Vodka, flowers and fresh laundry… "He's so not my boyfriend, just a really good friend. I've known him for like, forever," she said waving him off.

"Oh, well that's good to know but, uh, it's Edward actually," I said pointing at myself.

Bad sign, she didn't quite remember my name. But I took it as a good sign that she found the idea of her and the ogre dating extremely laughable.

Good sign? Why the fuck did I care? I didn't even know this girl. I chalked it up to her being the first girl I had felt something slightly more than indifference for in a long, long while.

And her tight little ass. And her smell. And that hair.

"Fuck! I'm so sorry Edward!" Bella looked genuinely embarrassed and I could see her blush even in the darkness of the club. "I have a terrible short term memory and combined with this lethal concoction my roommate made earlier, I'm just, ah, sorry."

She bit her bottom lip, and fuck it all if I didn't almost explode right there. Bella could call me whatever she wanted. "So, I didn't expect to see you here…" she trailed off expecting me to fill in the blank.

I was having a hard time focusing because while she spoke, Bella was still pressed against me and her mouth, fuck, was right at my ear so she wouldn't have to yell over the music. Her hot breath sent a tingle down my spine and her touch was igniting flames all over my skin.

"My brother Emmett and our good friend Jasper pretty much dragged me out," my voice was practically shaking but I recovered while pointing them out to her.

"Ahhh, I see. Well, if you get a chance, tell your brother and friend not to get their hopes up. Rose, Alice and I like to keep things, uh, uncomplicated."

I noticed she included herself in that statement.

_Uncomplicated, must be nice. And exactly what I need._

"Well then it sounds like they would be perfect for each other," I practically shouted so I could step back a foot before my blood rushed any farther south and I lost consciousness. Passing out because little Eddie sucked the blood from the rest of my body would probably not go over well.

She just giggled, grabbed my hand and started pulling me to the closest bar. My hand engulfed hers and something inside me felt warm and fuzzy. Jesus, I'm turning into a chick.

Bella jumped up and laid her entire upper half across the bar, giving me a spectacular view of her round ass.

"Riley!" she yelled to a guy who was filling a pitcher of Bud Light. He turned and smiled at her, giving the "just a second" signal.

"Do all bartenders just automatically know each other or something?"

"Yeah, we have meetings once a month to discuss new dirty names for drinks." She winked, she fucking _winked_. And I may have moaned.

Ever since I had moved back to Seattle most of my conversations were a little too morbid. The shrinks and parents only wanted to focus on "my situation" and I was fucking sick of it. It just didn't help to dwell. It helped to forget.

And Bella made me forget. I knew it shouldn't have been possible, I barely knew her, but there it was. She was all about the fun side of things, which I sorely missed. It was so easy to just relax around her. I had to entice her, keep talking to her. Preferably about dirty drink names.

"Such as… 'panty dropper'?" I smirked back, knowing it's full effect on women. It felt rusty though, definitely hadn't been used in a while.

Her eyes widened just a bit, but she stared back and said, "Actually, I prefer a 'broken headboard'."

I almost choked. Holy shit. Had she broken one before? I wouldn't be surprised. A dozen images raced through my head of Bella and a headboard. Grabbing one, tied to one, holding on to a bedpost, tied to one… tied to one. Sweet Jesus.

She seemed fearless and strong. I cleared my throat and ran my hands through my hair trying to hide the fact that was probably one of the hottest things I had ever heard. And the fact that if there was headboard in this place, I would go and do some damage to it with her.

Bella was laughing as Riley came to get her order. She leaned in and whispered in his ear, a streak of jealousy hit me like lightening. He smiled back as he started reaching for several bottles.

Reaching for my wallet I asked, "What exactly are we drinking?"

"Nah uh, it's on me. This really cute guy gave me huge tip earlier and it's burning a hole in my pocket."

So she did notice. Officially money well spent. And she called me cute. I might be floating.

Bartender Riley slid us two huge shots that looked deadly.

_So much for not being hung over on my first day. _

Bella paid and handed me my drink.

"Cheers!" she chirped.

I braced myself for the worst knowing how girls liked their shots to taste but I knocked it back like a champ and actually enjoyed whatever was in the glass. A good combination of sour and sweet without feeling like a bitch drink.

"Not bad, you going to tell me what it was?"

"Nope, not a chance!" She giggled at my look of feigned disappointment again and it was the sweetest noise. Not annoying or fake, just a little laugh. I could also see her starting to get that glazed over look and I knew Bella was on her way to being quite drunk.

She stepped closer to me and her body was almost flush against mine; I could feel the buzzing of energy between us. And I couldn't help but absorb some of her vitality. It was intoxicating.

I was about to ask her some sort of generic informational question, so when I re-lived this night over and over I could say I knew more than her name, when I saw she was looking up in the direction of the deejay booth giving a thumbs-up to someone.

"Hey, I've got to run, but I'll be back in a few minutes," she said excitedly.

"Oh ok, it's cool, thanks for the drink…" The rejection was swift like a kick to the gut. I could feel it showing on my face.

_No, don't' leave yet, please…_

"No really, five minutes, seven tops!" She put her hand on my shoulder and let it run a little down my chest before scampering off and leaving me gawking after her. Her fingers left smoldering trail of heat behind.

I swiveled back to the bar planning to order a beer, something to nurse on the rest of the night so I had fighting chance of feeling decent tomorrow. The charade of a guy who's totally normal didn't really feel like the constant struggle it had been the last couple of months. For the briefest of moments in her presence, it didn't feel like an act.

I was lost in thought when Jasper and Emmett ambushed me followed by a round of laughs from the two girls they pulled up to the bar with them.

"The round's on us ladies," Em announced. "Edwarrrrd? Where you been, man?"

"Around, who're your friends?"

"This is Alice and Rosalie," Jazz explained. "Ladies, this is my friend and Emmett's brother, Edward."

"Hi Edward!" Alice barely reached my shoulders when I was sitting. She reached around Jasper to shake my hand, just enough to graze his hip. A sly move that did not go unnoticed, his eyes nearly rolled back in his head.

_Jesus, fucking whipped already._

"Sup," was all I got from Rosalie. Her gaze moved back over to my brother's biceps and she bit her lip. Hm, maybe Em would get lucky after all.

"So I think I met your friend Bella? Dark brown hair, blue shirt…?" Maybe they knew where she ran off.

"Oh yeah, Bella's our roommate. She's around here somewhere," Alice said. "But I think she's filling in for Eric?" She looked at Rosalie for confirmation and the blonde nodded.

"Oh! There she is!" she turned to the deejay stand and waved.

And there was Bella, holding headphones over her ear looking intently at laptop that was up there. She saw the group of us looking at her, caught her friends' eyes, put her right finger on her nose and then pointed the left finger at us.

All of sudden the music scratched and slowed as a guitar riff blared through the speakers.

"Wooo! Yeah Bella!!!" Rose shouted. "This song is awesome, let's go!" They all knocked back another shot of something before leaving the bar.

What had to be solely for Emmett's reaction, Rosalie swung her hips to the music while grabbing his arm and leading him to the dance floor. Alice and Jasper quickly followed. Jazz wasn't much for club dancing either, his parents were from Texas and raised him to have a healthy respect for the opposite sex, but he was a sucker for a little one. But what shocked me even more is when Alice grabbed my hand too and pulled me along.

"Dance with our friend Angela for now, Bella will be back soon," she said in my ear. She spoke with an air of clairvoyance, like she knew something I didn't.

"Am I that transparent?"

She merely shrugged with a coy little grin and introduced me to Angela before continuing the seduction of Jasper.

_I was walking down the street,_

_When out the corner of my eye_

_I saw a pretty little thing approaching me._

_She said "I've never seen a man_

_Who looks so all alone,_

_Could you use a little company?_

I listened to the song watching the girls sing along, enjoying the "lady of the night" lyrics. Bella had clearly chosen it for them and I had a feeling Jazz and Em might be in over their heads.

_If you could pay the right price, _

_you're evening will be nice,_

_or you can go and send me on my way_

_I said you're such a sweet young thing,_

_Why'd you do this to yourself,_

_She looked at me and this is what she said…_

I recognized the song enough to know the bass didn't come in until the second verse, and that Bella was adding her own beat to it. Impressive. It made the song faster, sexier and the girls on the dance floor were showing off their best stripper moves.

Grinding on a dance floor had never been my fascination as it was with some guys. Oh, there were benefits to be sure. Check her flexibility, hip action, and friction down there was rarely frowned upon. But it just seemed a little degrading to both parties.

My thoughts drifted to Bella and I put her and myself on the dance floor instead of Angela. Her hips as close to mine as they could get, with the barrier of clothes. Swiveling against me, and then she'd turn around and drop that sweet ass and lift it back up nice and slow…degrading my ass. That shit was hot.

Holy shit, what am I? 17? I resurfaced from the brief fantasy and decided to focus on the real thing.

I looked back up at Bella who couldn't seem to resist moving her body to the music either. She looked good up there, confident. Not that she hadn't been sure of herself in our interactions so far, but something told me she enjoyed wielding the musical power over the crowd.

_Oh, there ain't no rest for the wicked,_

_Money don't grow on trees._

_I got bills to pay,_

_I got mouths to feed,_

_There ain't nothing in this world for free._

_I know I can't slow down,_

_I can't hold back,_

_Though you know, I wish I could._

_No there ain't no rest for the wicked,_

_Until we close our eyes for good_

Wicked? Interesting… but I highly doubted that. I could tell Bella knew what she was doing, I just didn't think wicked was the right word for it. Well, I couldn't exactly say that for my cock.

Angela was a peaceful person and didn't press herself on me, in more than one way. She just seemed satisfied dancing and I could keep her company until Bella came back.

_Alice's plan better work._

The song changed again, and I could hear the scratch and repeat of the song's intro. Bella had a knack for this. The music transitioned smoothly into an electronic sounding song.

_Ugh, annoying. I hate this kind of shit._

But as the song morphed, I could hear the appeal. It wasn't bad, and was exploding with energy kind of like Bella. And it didn't have that one thumpa-thumpa-thumpa beat most techno did, thank god.

_Touché, Bella. Not bad._

My watch had better be working and I checked it for the tenth time in what seemed like half an hour. Bella said five minutes, and it felt like I was counting down to the last bell before school let out for the summer.

I felt her before I saw her. The tingling had returned. I spun Angela around and as she moved away my eyes locked with Bella's. Like a magnetic force I moved toward her, took her in my arms and let her warmth wash over me.

* * *

**What do you think?! This story will definitely have some serious depth to it, no worries, this is just the meet cute. **

**Reviews make my panties drop... :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I couldn't resist posting again! Need to get the ball rolling with these two. There's definitely more to this story than this event, although it's crucial. So stay with me :)**

**As always, SM owns all things Twilight, all things Twilight just happen to own me.**

**  
UPDATE: This is slightly tweaked, I needed to add some links for the music gloriousness that takes place.**

**  
Sleepyhead by Passion Pit (a great song, add it to your library): http://www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=5bfseWNmlds**

**Queens of Noise by The Runaways: http://www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=emMcGPGmCI4**

**Both links are also on my profile**

**  
Chapter 5**

**BPOV**

I LOVED it when Eric had to pee. And I HATED that it was right now.

His small bladder size meant I could fill in as deejay and change things up, but that also meant my time was cut short with Edward. But it's not like I could say no, I told Eric I would help him out when he needed a break.

Plus, the masses really shouldn't listen to the same shit over and over again. It was just wrong.

Even though I only had a few minutes to play what I wanted, it was still a total rush and gave me a sense of power.

The first song, "Ain't No Rest for the Wicked" was a dedication to Rose and Alice. Those little minxes certainly knew why. The song was seductive in a Coyote Ugly way and I could see them working it to their advantage. They had introduced me to Emmett and Jasper earlier and I recognized the two of them from Wolfe's and was keeping my fingers crossed that Edward had come with him. Luck was on my side apparently and the night had taken a surprisingly fun turn. Except for the typecast frat guy. He had to go, but I didn't want to be rude. And as I had learned, the best way to attract another guy was to be with another. Besides, if he didn't back off I would have kicked him where it hurts. Lucky for him he got the message.

_Oh you poor boys..._ Emmett's eyes were bugging out of his head watching Rose move. And Jasper's smile was about to stretch off of his face while dancing with Alice.

But what I really noticed was that Edward was with them. Hadn't I left him at the bar? I told him I wouldn't be long. My eyes adjusted and – well fuck me.

He was dancing with Angela.

_Son of a – breathe. Breathe. Inhale. Don't' forget to exhale._

I loved Angela and she was possibly the sweetest person I knew, but did she really have to be dancing with him? I had been gone for five minutes and his attention was already shifted to my naughty-librarian looking friend.

_Focus, Swan. The night isn't over. _

I redirected my thoughts back to the task at hand and shuffled through Eric's library praising the music gods that it was organized when I found what I was looking for. Something none of them had probably heard I hoped and it was slightly techno-ish, just enough to hopefully annoy Edward. And it wasn't exactly dirty dancing music either, why make it easier for Angela?

"_Techo-fuckery" my ass._

Someone needed to push his buttons, that was for sure. He was so stiff, and not in the dirty way, well he was, but I don't think he knew that I had noticed. And holy shit had I noticed.

My inner girly girl was keeping her fingers crossed that it was because of me and not some other skank in this place because I could feel his erection every time I was close enough. Emotionally though, I thought the stick up his ass would never come out. Edward was so, proper. Restrained even.

I could tell when I hugged him it wasn't exactly in his comfort zone. He backed away as soon as the situation allowed for it. But that was when I felt his, not-so-little issue against my leg so it wasn't because he didn't enjoy the contact. Which left me to the reasoning that he just didn't want to get too close. Ergo, pool cue up his ass.

Until he made that 'panty dropper' comment.

And mine almost did, right to the floor. His stare and smirk combination did exactly as my earlier prediction guessed and if I wasn't so taken by surprise I would have needed new underwear. Good thing my brain actually managed to stay a step ahead of my ovaries.

I managed to zone out almost the entire song while thinking about those deep pools of green. I used the fading technique Eric had shown me and started the next song.

This one had been on repeat for a few weeks on my iPod and I was dying to hear it blasted with the bass so deep you could literally feel it in reverberating in your chest.

_  
And everything is going to the beat – _scratch, slow and repeat.

_And everything is going to the beat_ – scratch and repeat.

I let the song continue but like the one before, I would have to manually keep the rhythm going since it didn't start until the middle of the song. This only made it more fun and it was way easier for me to focus on than the dancing couple below.

_  
And you say it was like fire around the brim_

_Burning solid burning thin the burning rim_

_Like stars burning holes right through the dark_

_Flicking fire like saltwater into my eyes_

_You were one inch from the edge of this bed_

_I dragged you back a sleepyhead…_

_  
Mmm, Edward dragging me across my bed… ooh, Edward in my bed. SHIT, FOCUS._

As I had hoped, once the drums picked up, the throng of bodies started undulating to the beat.

"Hey Bells!" Eric had snuck up on me and scared the bejeezus out of me while simultaneously snapping me out of my delicious daydream.

"Shit! Eric you scared me!"

He laughed and lightly kissed me on the cheek. "Sorry about that, but it looks like you kept things rolling _and_ managed not to break anything."

"Hey now, my klutziness pertains solely to walking across flat surfaces," I pretended to be offended. "How was your break?"

"Well, Tyler came tonight, so it definitely wasn't not long enough," he waggled his eyebrows to emphasize his meaning.

"Eric! Too much information!" Although I couldn't really be shocked by his actions. Eric never hid his relationship, especially in public. It was something I really admired him for.

"Favor though, can you play this one last song for me? I didn't get to finish my music lesson for the masses."

He took a look at it and shook his head in amusement but said yes. (Squee!) I was ready to get back down there with my friends, and hopefully with the liquid courage sloshing through me, pull Edward away from Angela.

I stopped by Riley for a beer, bottles were just easier to dance with, and swayed my way through the people.

Surprisingly, Alice and Rose hadn't gotten bored and were still dancing with Edward's friends, which was good news because he was still with them. But at the same time was horrible because he was still dancing with her. Angela was spinning in a circle under his arms and he didn't seem to have the forced grin plastered on.

Jealousy coursed through me; all I could think of at that moment was pulling Angela's hair like a toddler and taking back my toy. But once he turned and saw me, he dropped her hand and made a beeline for me.

_Sweet victory. Suck it, Ang_, thinks drunken Bella. I may keep the opposite sex at arms length most of the time, but that doesn't mean a girl doesn't like the attention. And this one in particular was just, different. Sexy as all get out, and not like the "oh he's really hot" kind of way. I mean sexy, like something dark and primal was brewing under the surface.

Working my hips in a patented figure eight move while slowly dropping to the floor in front of Edward was enough to turn me on. But when I popped back up and met his hooded eyes and gaping mouth, I felt myself flush and rush of moisture throbbed between my thighs.

"This next one goes out to a group of ladies, you know who you are!" Eric crooned into his microphone.

With that, the driving beats of 70's punk rock filled the room and Edward pulled me close. The song wasn't exactly made for sex on the dance the floor, so he opted for the slightly cheesy yet totally hot, arm twirling ballroom moves. And I ate it up. That shit was adorable.

I would always remember this song as the anthem for our little posse of three. And while I was being spun around, I let it take me back to my freshman year when Rose and I were squished into the tiniest dorm room imaginable….

We had immediately bonded over the gloriousness that is Target and a mutual love for crime drama television shows. There was definitely some late night talk of wildly inappropriate fantasies with Horatio Caine.

It was the first Saturday night of the semester and we were bouncing around our room getting ready for a party when there was a persistent knocking, rather banging, on our door.

Rose cracked it open and Alice busted through with a bottle of cheap champagne and shrieked, "I can't fucking STAND my roommates! They are the biggest brats alive! So we are going to be great friends. Hi, I'm Alice by the way."

Five minutes in we knew we had found the missing third to our equation and I was proven even more right when the little one pulled out her iPod and claimed this was going to be our new song. Not only was Alice a force of nature, she had decent taste in music.

_  
Cause we're the queens of noise_

_Come and get it boys_

_Queens of noise_

_Not just one of your toys_

_Queens of noise…  
_

Less then a week later, Alice had moved her roommates' stuff out while they were in class, the sneaky pixie, into our room and we took over the triple…

I was lifted out of my flashback by the squeals of Rose and Alice once they realized what song was playing. Jumping up and down like kids at an amusement park with no lines, we belted out the lyrics. Much to our chagrin we felt three pairs of eyes watching us move. Edward, Jasper and Emmett were all staring, and none too shyly either.

Our minds in a wasted sync, we grabbed for their hands and began to gyrate to the second verse. The boys just went along on our ride.

_  
I remember you at our second show_

_You were holding on and you wouldn't let go_

_And I bet you'll always be that way _

_Whenever you see us start to play_

I was pretty much leading Edward around in circles when his hand gripped the small of my back and pulled me super close to him. I was looking directly into those green eyes and it felt like they were boring into my soul. His fingers grazed over the exposed flesh on my back and sent shivers up my spine.

"Nice song choice," he said close enough to my ear that I could feel the vibrations from his voice. "Pretty unconventional."

"Hah, yeah, that's us in a nutshell." The nervous laughter was uncontrollable.

My head was spinning from this intense eye contact, I couldn't think of anything else to say. I was literally locked in place with our eyes penetrating each other. It was too much. My breathing was becoming erratic. I could feel my heart racing. And wouldn't you know, I was literally saved by the 'last call' bell.

The last call bell was a tricky little bitch.

It signaled to some that they better get their last drinks, to others it meant it was time to seal the deal with whomever their arms were holding onto. And for me, it gave me the excuse I needed to break away from his stare and make my way outside before the cab line got too long.

I turned away from him to look for my roommates. Alice and Rose apparently went the 'seal the deal' route. Both of them were latched on to their respective boys. I gave a tug on the back of their shirts and they both swatted me away.

"Guys I'll just meet you outside!" I knew they heard me even if they didn't exactly acknowledge it.

I moved away from Edward and slowly pushed my way to the door, all of sudden knowing I was in desperate need of fresh air. That last beer may not have been such a good idea. Things were starting to spin.

_Oh fuck._

I barreled out the front door tripping per usual and grasped for the nearest stationary object.

_Brick wall it is._ I leaned back taking deep, calming breaths.

"Are you ok?" a tentative voice behind me asked. Edward had followed me outside.

"What? Oh yeah, just um, needed some non-bar air." I closed my eyes and relished the damp breeze.

_Christ, for the love of all things holy please don't let me throw up, please don't let me throw up…_

Deep breaths. Cool air. Things began to shift back into focus. The last thing I needed was a case of the spins. Spins = nausea = public embarrassment.

He still looked way too worried for his own good.

"I'm good. Relax, seriously. I'm not going to puke on you." I gave him a smile that I hoped looked a lot stronger than it felt.

His facial muscles loosened slightly. Edward continued to scrutinize. I was too far gone to decide of the staring was out of concern, lust, or the worry that I might vomit on his shoes.

Thankfully the other four stumbled outside just then, arms entangled with slightly stupefied expressions.

_Goo-goo eyes? Really girls?_

"You ladies need a ride?" Jasper offered.

Alice, ever the believer in the 'leave them wanting more' policy, said, "Aww that's sweet, but we were just going to take a cab. We're way over on the north side of the campus anyway."

I could see the rejection sweep over his face for an instant, but he pulled it together.

_Bravo, Jasper._

"No worries, we just want to make sure you get home safely. Emmett and I are in the opposite direction anyway."

Ooh, spunk. No wonder Alice hadn't walked away yet.

Liquid courage still going strong led me to say, "What about you Edward? North or south?"

"I actually have a place on the north side of the campus as well, but I'm sure Emmett wouldn't mind dropping me off."

The attempt at nonchalance would have been cute if I wasn't thinking about a late night Taco Bell run since my stomach had settled.

"Fuck tha E'ward," Emmett slurred as Jasper reached for his keys as an indication he would be doing the driving.

"No Edward, we'll take you, and since we now have to head in that direction girls…we promise to drop you at the door. No funny business. Let us play the chivalry card here," Jasper offered.

The three of us had one of our silent conversations of stares and eyebrow raisings and came to the conclusion getting a ride from them was what we all wanted anyway. We climbed into the monstrous SUV we hadn't realized we were being ushered to. Tricky boys.

Jasper and Alice sat in the front, Emmett and Rose in the middle, which left me and Edward smooshed into the super small back row that should really only hold one person.

Jasper pulled out of the lot as Alice gave him directions to our place.

My head had cleared and I noticed there was a heat, almost an electric current gathering on my knee. I looked down and realized mine and Edward's legs were touching.

Whoa, that's weird, I thought. Weirdly awesome. And why hadn't I noticed this when we were dancing? Oh yeah, my drunken stupor.

_Good job, vodka, you wretched asshole._

Again, and I blame the liquid courage, I made another bold decision and stealthily put my head on his shoulder. There was something there, a magnetism and I couldn't not touch him. The current was even stronger and I snuggled deeper into the leather seat.

He tensed up, but once I caught a whiff of his smell, there was no way in hell I was going to move until I had to. Edward smelled like the ocean and a forest after it rained at the same time, with just a hint of scotch.

I played it off like I had fallen asleep so I knew he wouldn't disturb me in my new happy place. And so I got to enjoy a blissful ten minutes resting on his shoulder, inhaling his scent and thinking about those emerald eyes.

The car stopped, I heard doors opening, pleasantries and phone numbers being exchanged. I knew I would have to move soon.

"Bella, we're here… Bella?" On the second "Bella" I lifted my head up as he was leaning his down and our lips brushed for an instant. They were soft, supple and totally unexpected.

It sent a jolt through my entire body ending right between my legs. I was so shocked, I freaked and jerked away. I scrambled out of the car; trying to keep any shred of dignity I could while awkwardly maneuvering over the seats.

_Play it cool, Swan. Chill the fuck out. _

I looked back at his dumbstruck face and tried to pull it together. "It was nice to meet you Edward, stop by Wolfe's any time," and I shut the door.

I was gasping with the realization that I might actually be attracted to a guy. It had been years since I had felt this way and even then it wasn't anything like this.

By the time we got upstairs Alice and Rosalie were in full disclosure mode. My friends shared every last detail of their new boys, ranging from: "Jasper has the cutest southern drawl," to "I could feel Emmett's HUGE cock on my leg!" On that one, I decided the night had been long enough. Thank god they had both been too wrapped up in their own stories to even ask about me and Edward. And if they did I wouldn't really know what to say.

I couldn't be more thankful for the serenity of my room at that moment. I collapsed on my bed fully clothed while the exhaustion washed over me and my eyelids drooped. At least I remembered to set my alarm for class before I passed out.

This mysterious 'jolt' tomorrow would get some pondering tomorrow. For now, my thoughts were consumed of the hope to have a nightmare-less sleep…

* * *

**Twist to follow... thanks for reading!**

**Reviews taste better than late-night TacoBell.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This chapter contains some angsty stuff, be forewarned. However, the angst is not the sole focus of this story, it just plays a part. **

**I own a hot pink iHome, I don't own SM's characters, they own me.**

**  
Chapter 6**

**EPOV**

WHAT THE HELL?

My world was upside down. I was reeling from this short, but intense, encounter.

I had known Bella for less than six hours and she had managed to make me completely lose my shit.

My outward expression was one of confusion, lust, bewilderment, and crushing guilt.

When she had finished playing deejay I was taking Alice's all-knowing advice and dancing with their friend Angela. I was on the brink of actually enjoying a social setting and I didn't want to be "that guy" sitting at the bar while my friends had fun. That was pathetic even for me, especially when I knew I could fake better. And if I stuck around her friends, I would clearly get the chance to be around Bella again.

I could literally feel her presence behind me as an unfamiliar grin spread across my face.

The effect this girl was having on me was unreal. It was like she breathed life into me again. I couldn't be depressed around her because I couldn't let myself eclipse the natural light she gave off. And when she hugged me before, it was like embracing a furnace. A really sexy furnace. And I needed more of it; I couldn't control my arms as they reached for her.

I pulled her close and the heat was almost unbearable. My heart sped up and my nerve endings were tingling from her touch.

Then she had to remind me that my dick had a mind of its own and of all things I can control, it certainly wasn't one of them.

When Bella dropped down and wiggled her way back up, her ass rubbed against my throbbing erection and I thought I was going to explode right there. My cock was going to have permanent indentations from my zipper.

I knew I had let groan escape and right then I couldn't have been more thankful for the ridiculously loud music.

When the song changed, thank Christ, it wasn't something she could really grind on me to, but I still wanted, needed, her close to me.

I never thought I would thank my mother for those embarrassing dance lessons when I was a kid, but as I took Bella in my arms and spun her around, her eyes lit up even more, a shit-eating grin plastered on her face.

_Thank you, Esme._

Apparently the song held some sort of significance with Bella and her friends and they were jumping around together like little kids. Her tits were bouncing up and down and I felt like I was 11 years old again watching Bay Watch. Fucking hell.

Except Bella was holding my attention way more than Yasmine Bleeth ever could. At least I wasn't the only one gawking. I don't think Emmett and Jasper blinked. There may have even been drool.

Their reminiscing seemed to end as the girls remembered we were still there and blatantly watching them. Bella grabbed for me again and I felt the knot in my chest loosen.

Just a simple touch from her and it was like my veins opened up and my blood pulsed through my body once more. I pulled her to me and when she peered at me with those soulful brown eyes I thought my heart was going to pound out of my chest.

I told her it was a good cong choice, and I actually meant it. It wasn't something that would normally be played at a club like this, and I was even more impressed that she knew it and seemed to love it.

I held her gaze because for the life of me I couldn't look away. Her eyes were playful and sparkling with life, but there was something deep and emotional lying underneath. It made her appear vulnerable and innocent and all I could do was keep staring into those big brown eyes.

A bell rang faintly in the background and Bella quickly looked away.

_Shit, motherfuck, I scared her. She thinks I'm a giant creeper and can't stand to look at me. God damn it._

I was knee deep in self-flagellation for managing to scare her off already when I noticed her shoving through people to get outside.

I had to talk to her, be normal again so she wouldn't think I was crazy, so I had followed her outside.

Bella was leaning against side of the building taking deep breaths and had a light sheen of sweat on her face. Fuck had I scared her that badly? Was she having a panic attack?

I asked her if she was ok and when she told me she just needed fresh air I felt a rush of relief when I realized the alcohol had probably gotten to her. But then that only made me more concerned and I wanted to help her, but she reassured me she was fine and wasn't going to be sick.

The other four came outside then and managed to untangle themselves long enough to debate a ride back to the girls' apartment.

When Bella and I ended up in the very back of Emmett's jeep, the energy between us wasn't just buzzing. It was palpable. I wanted more, she was like a drug, but I definitely didn't want to push my luck.

She looked so tired and all I wanted to do was brush her hair back behind her tiny little ears, knowing it would feel like silk if I touched it. But she had run away earlier, clearly she wasn't interested.

Then Bella's head fell on my shoulder and I was assaulted with her scent and my dick immediately jumped to attention. Her hair smelled so fucking good I wanted to lick it. It smelled like flowers and a bakery. Sugary and sweet, fucking delicious. I didn't even remember food smelling that good. I wanted to put my arms around her, nuzzle in her hair, feel how soft her skin was, and basically bury myself in her with clothes on. Or without, but the small part of my brain that was functioning thought the others in the car might be slightly offended if we started going at it.

So I opted for none of the above. Total chicken shit.

When we pulled up to their building, the last thing I wanted was for her to move. She fit perfectly against my side and it was physically painful for me to wake her up. But when I leaned in, she stirred and our lips brushed. FUCK. If my cock wasn't hard before… Her lips were so soft and I just wanted to devour her. And the sparks that went off between us… I could feel the kiss everywhere.

But she pulled away so quickly I barely had time to register what happened.

Bella was blushing furiously and I had never seen something so beautiful in entire my life. My head was spinning as I watched my personal sun climb out of the car. She had said something but the words were fuzzy and far away because all I could focus on was the fire raging on my lips from her kiss.

Finally my poker face resurfaced and I gained composure of my extremities. But I was still frozen in place.

Slamming doors snapped me out of my stupor as Jasper and Emmett climbed back in the Jeep.

"Whoa," Jasper whispered.

"Fuck," Emmett said at the same time.

I could only nod, but I wholeheartedly agreed. Sometimes there aren't words. Jasper shook his head as if trying to shake his brain cells loose.

"Ah, so, they were nice. Fun night," Jasper said clearly restraining his real thoughts. I had moved up a seat and noticed Jasper's hands crushing the steering wheel.

"Rose seems pretty… cool," Emmett added.

It seemed that I wasn't the only one left in a daze by these women, or more specifically, woman.

Emmett took a deep breath. "Edward, where'd you say your new place is? Mom mentioned you were renting a house. Is it close?"

_Funny you should ask Em_, I thought while getting my bearings. _Well, fuck me._

"Hah, yeah Em, I'd say it's pretty close. It's actually right here. The grey one across the street. I didn't exactly notice before."

"Shutthefuckup," Jasper deadpanned. "You live across the street from Alice?!"

"And Rosalie?"

"And apparently Bella," I mumbled.

"Well you've become our official spy Eddie," Emmett laughed.

"Ugh, Christ no. That's so perverted I don't even want to think about it. And don't call me Eddie."

Just as I ruled out being a peeping tom, lights flooded the street. From the top corner unit. With the blinds still open. Shit. We all stared up at the window.

"DUDE, we are so getting you some binoculars!" Em roared as he gawked out the window trying to catch a last glimpse of his new infatuation.

The blinds were pulled shut just then, issuing a groan from Jasper and Emmett.

"Well gents, thanks for the festivities, but I actually have to wake up in a few hours and be productive. Not all of us have bosses that actually approve of staying out and chasing skirts."

"Yeah, Jenson is the perviest of us all, that is for damn sure," Emmett said. His boss was notorious for his sleazy ways and Em always regaled us with his stories.

I clapped the two of them on their shoulders and opened the door. I was tired, slightly buzzed, and the combination was leading to a serious slippage of my wall.

Wallowing would come soon enough. Not to mention a fresh onslaught of guilt from being attracted to Bella. And it would eat me alive because part of me knew this wasn't some passing emotion.

"Bye E. I'll swing by tomorrow after my classes, think you'll still be around?"

"Yes, I should be, getting set up in my office and stuff. Lunch?"

"Yeah, cool. Well have a good night, and we'll look into to some binoculars tomorrow…" Jasper said wistfully while his eyes shifted up toward the girls' apartment.

I trudged across the street to my new home. The porch light switched on at my movement and as I opened the door the homey smell of cedar and fresh paint wafted up my nose.

I realized how lucky I got finding this place. It was a classic. Hardwood floors, vaulted ceilings, fireplace, newly remodeled kitchen, and a second bedroom I had turned into my studio. I hadn't even been in there yet except to arrange my things.

My makeshift studio was at the front of the house and looked over the street. Most of the eastern facing wall was a huge window that looked out over the street. Through the blinds I could make out the light still on in the girls' apartment. Shit, I was already looking. Time to invest in some blackout curtains apparently.

The room was sparse, holding only the essentials. A small bookcase that still had boxes in front of it waiting to be unpacked. My guitar sat in its stand to the right collecting dust and my prized possession took up the rest of the room. A custom Steinway concert grand piano.

Once my father understood I would not be following in his medical footsteps, he tracked down the treasure that sat before me. It was his way of saying he approved, he was proud, and he wanted me to pursue my passion. Our relationship evolved from that moment on and grew into an almost ideal father/son situation. Not to say we didn't have our fights, but I knew I could go to him with anything and he would do his best to understand.

I switched on a little lamp, just bright enough to illuminate the keys. The guilt started to trickle through me like a leaky faucet; it had been months since I played. _Drip, drip._

I remembered trying to after she was gone but the notes wouldn't come. _Drip drip drip. _Even pieces I had been playing for years sounded hollow and meaningless. I couldn't do that to the greats. Play their music without the feeling behind it. It was like slapping Chopin in the face.

But now I wanted to play. Feel the ivory give under my fingers and sort through my emotions by taking it out on the beautiful instrument.

I had always been connected to music. Whatever emotion I couldn't verbalize, I could express it in music. My brain would disconnect or something and I could just play and whatever I was feeling would flow through my hands. I composed that way most of the time. Solely out of raw emotions.

Tanya had created my best work. _The drips were a steady stream now_. The intensity of our love, the impossible highs and heart wrenching lows, gave me my some of what I thought was my best music.

I sat on the bench letting the memories and immeasurable remorse wash over me…

We met a jazz club in Chicago. Even though I had a spot in the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, there was nothing like the intimacy of playing in a small venue. I fed off the audience and wasn't constrained by a hundred other musicians.

I was testing out some of my own music that night and it was going well. While I was finishing my set, she walked in, a breeze blew through her strawberry-blonde curls and the world fell away. I bought her a drink during my break, she stayed through my next set and the rest as they say, was history.

It was a whirlwind. A twister of love. We got lost in each other. Spinning around and around not even aware we weren't on the ground anymore. I had cut off my friends, missed work, and definitely didn't understand why anyone would call our relationship unhealthy. I thought it was just passionate.

Tanya was infectious and we would spend days locked in my apartment. I did things with her that I would never dream of, a tattoo on my left shoulder being a particular remnant of that. I thought I was finally discovering who I was, and who I could be, with her.

She would listen to me compose for hours. We would literally worship each other in the bedroom, although Tanya wasn't particularly adventurous, the sex was full of love and tenderness and at the time it was enough for me. I knew it wasn't normal on some level but I was blinded, I was in love. The rest of the world be damned.

But just as intense was our love, so were our fights. Her mood swings were something to be scoffed at even by pregnant women. She would go from blindingly happy to clinically depressed in a matter of minutes. In the beginning I knew why. I screwed it up. I said something to make her unhappy. Looked at another woman or didn't tell her when I was coming home. Those things upset her and I accepted that. I adapted, all the while thinking this was my great love and it must be like this for all couples.

However she started to accuse me of cheating on her, not loving her enough, not understanding her and would go on completely unprovoked tirades. More than a fair share of dishes and picture frames were broken in the chaos of one of her moods.

But as quickly as it came, it changed. Her tantrums were usually followed by deep bouts of depression. Crying for hours and apologizing to me and I would of course cradle her and tell her it would all be okay. That we were going to be fine.

I remember in one of my few moments alone, I opened up to my father about Tanya's moods and he told me I might not like what he was going to say.

_Edward, from what you've told me, I think Tanya is actually very sick. It sounds like she has a pretty severe case of manic depression. I can't make a formal diagnosis by any means, but the signs are there._

After that I dove into research trying to understand what was happening. I chose one of her calm days to ask her about it and I braced myself for the worst.

But she actually admitted she was diagnosed with it several years ago. Her meds however, made her feel disconnected and she couldn't stand taking them.

_They make me feel empty, Edward. I was a shell of a human when I took them. _

_But babe, if they help, wouldn't it be better than nothing?_

That comment had cost a vase and some more drywall. So I tried to be understanding, be everything she needed and could rely on. Basically attempted to be a therapist and a boyfriend rolled into one.

My resentment toward her grew and the fact she refused to see another doctor or consider different medication ate away at me because it felt like she didn't trust me. We were fighting more and more, but I couldn't _not_ try to help her. She depended on me so much and I couldn't fail her.

I took even more time off of work. Stopped composing. Everything was about her and my resentment and anger only grew. The good days that kept me coming back to her were getting fewer and farther between.

Then one day she was crying and throwing things threatening to leave me and to kill herself. I should have been shocked, but this had become routine for us.

And I snapped. I completely lost it. I couldn't take it anymore. She wasn't making any progress and I clearly wasn't helping. I thought back at the vicious words that left my mouth…

_Fine Tanya! Do what ever the hell you want! I just can't handle this, you, anymore. I'm fucking DONE._

_No, Edward, please wait!_

I didn't wait. I didn't even turn around. I remember storming out of my apartment and walking around the city for hours.

I just needed a break. Just a few a days to figure out what I wanted. And then I would call her. We both will have calmed down and maybe she would reconsider seeing a doctor again. She had to have hit her breaking point too, I knew it wasn't just me.

When I returned my place was cleaned up and her stuff was gone. I felt the biggest weight lifted off my shoulders. I could breathe again. And I remember thinking she had been so rational about it. No calls, no begging, just a note saying to call her. And I would, after I gained some perspective.

The phone rang a week later.

_May I speak to Mr. Edward Cullen?_

_Speaking, who's this?_

_This is the Chicago police; we're contacting you because you were listed as Tanya DeMarco's emergency contact._

_Oh, yes, is everything alright?_

_No, Mr. Cullen, I'm afraid not. We would prefer if you could come down to the sta-_

_Like hell I will! Tell me what the fuck happened to her!_

I couldn't breathe. It felt like the air was being sucked out of my apartment.

_Mr. Cullen, please try to remain calm. We really shouldn't be telling you this over the phone…_

_Please, please, you're scaring me. Just tell me!_

_Sir, uh, we found Ms. DeMarco in a motel this morning. She, um, well, she committed suicide a couple of days ago, although her body wasn't found until this morning… Mr. Cullen? Are you still there? Mr. Cullen?_

No. I was not there. I had drowned. Drowned in funeral arrangements. Drowned in tears. Drowned in fake condolences. Drowned in scotch. Drowned in crushing, soul-consuming guilt.

I had done this to her. I was callous and told her I didn't care which was so far from the truth. I was an excuse for a human being. It felt like my heart was ripped from my chest, which I gladly welcomed. I didn't deserve to have one.

If I hadn't made her leave. If I didn't yell at her. If told her, rationally, how I was feeling this never would have happened. If I ended things sooner. If I hadn't been playing in that stupid club. If I had never met her.

It was the 'ifs' that made my heart tear open again and again. The 'ifs' that sunk me into despair so deep that my father thought I'd gone catatonic. The therapists, friends, parents, and anyone in between told me it wasn't my fault. Repeatedly. That she was sick, and there was nothing I could have done.

But my words and memories said otherwise. And they also didn't know what I had said to her. They just thought we had broken up.

_Oh God, Tanya, I'm so sorry…_

So I drank to forget. Drank to numb the pain. And then drank some more to welcome the blissful release into unconsciousness. Wake up and repeat.

I didn't begin to resurface until my father came to visit me in Chicago. My appearance screamed Ryan Gosling in _The Notebook_, wrapped in a blanket, hadn't shaved for days and essentially dead inside. My heart only beat to sustain me; there was no life behind it.

_Edward, son, come home. It's time. We think it would be better for you. It's just, it's too much for you to stay here. You can't heal._

I wanted to say fuck it, fuck him and reach for the closest bottle, but instead, after what felt like days of sobering up, I trusted Carlisle and came home. I knew he would be right even if I couldn't see that far into my future. So I found myself, a 27 year-old music prodigy, living at home with my parents, until very recently.

I realized I had stopped playing and my eyes were watering profusely.

My fingers hovered over the keys, waiting for something, anything else. I glanced up to the window. The light in, what I assumed was their main area, was now off. But a glow came from a smaller window to the left. I saw a shadow move within before the soft light turned to black. Maybe… maybe it was _her_ room.

Bella.

Bella, Bella, Bella's eyes. Her beautiful hair. Her tiny little hands that fit so easily into mine…

The notes sprang out of me like a force of nature. Wild and carefree.

The music stayed in a major key, keeping the music light and playful. She embodied exuberance and the music reflected it.

The chords came to natural end, but I knew Bella's song was far from complete.

I walked out of my studio feeling lighter than I had in what felt like forever. Even Tanya inspired music hadn't come that naturally. That thought stopped me dead in my tracks, but I shoved those worries aside and immediately refocused on Bella. There had been enough reminiscing for one night.

Sleep pulled my under as my imagination swirled around images of Bella.

* * *

My alarm was wailing at me way too soon after I shut my eyes. Of course Bella was the focus of my dreams last night and when I rolled over my cock was at full attention.

At least I could finally take care of it this time.

I swung my legs out of bed, wincing slightly at my headache. Nothing a shower and coffee couldn't fix. My quick glance in the mirror told me I looked a lot worse than I felt. The circles under my eyes seemed to be permanent at this point no matter how much sleep I got.

The steam from the shower became thick so I knew the water would be scalding. I stepped under the water hoping it would wash away my thoughts of Bella. Naturally they only got worse, or better, according to my cock's point of view.

My thoughts drifted among different fantasies as a showered off the remnants of last night. I see her at the bar, we talk all night, her car won't start and I offer to give her a ride home and we attack each other in the confines of my car. We meet again at the club, she can't keep her hands off me and then we're stumbling into my bed ravishing each other. Bella shows up at my door after getting caught in the rain and is dripping wet. We embrace each other with such force that I take her against the door and it cracks against the hinges.

I was painfully hard at this point as I reached for the soap. It had been so long since I relieved any sort of tension. When my and Tanya's sex life had essentially become non-existent the last few months of our relationship, I had taken it all out on myself, including the stress of everything as well as my sexual frustration. I distinctly remembered part of my resentment stemming from the fact Tanya was so unadventurous in bed. I had accepted that, but when her condition became known, I was scared to even be a little rough with her, afraid it would set her off into another tailspin. So I was no stranger to visiting "palmville", but my mindset was completely different this time.

This was out of need.

This was out of want.

This was out of sheer, unadulterated lust.

Her skin was so soft last night, I could only imagine what the rest of her body felt like. The soft curve of her breast, my god, they looked fucking perfect and would fit just so in my hands. The swell of her rounded ass, how she would squeal when I spanked it… I stroked harder and twisting my wrist at the end focusing on the head and let my imagination fleet wildly among images of her. Kissing Bella from her collarbone to her hips. I gripped tighter. Tasting her, _everywhere_. Dragging my tongue across her drenched pussy as she clenched around my fingers… _arrgh!_ I came, hard, for what felt like minutes and watched my fantasy of Bella swirl around the drain.

_Jesus fucking Christ_ _that was intense._ _I didn't even think about what it would be like to be inside her…_

My dick twitched at the thought. She would be so warm, so tight, so perfect. And if all were right in the world, Bella would be loud and vocal and scream my name and bite her lip as she came on my cock -

_Fuck, let round two begin._

_

* * *

_

**I certainly cannot claim to know the intricate details concerning manic depression. It is a serious condition and I did not make the decision to write about it lightly. I did a little research so hopefully nothing seems too off kilter. I also do not know how the police handle that kind of situation, my knowledge stems strictly from a Law and Order: SVU obsession. **

**Stick with me folks, it's going somewhere, I promise! Thank you so much for reading! I would love some feedback... and a beta if anyone would like to volunteer :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Bit of a short one this time around... but for good reason, you'll see ;)**

**I own the entire series of Friends, SM owns all things Twilight, they just happen to own me.**

**  
Chapter 7  
**

**BPOV**

Oh God, Edward… I was a melting puddle of bliss. In heaven. Dipped in dark chocolate.

His hands were everywhere. Playing me, teasing me, stroking me.

"Bella you are so beautiful," he whispered.

I could only moan into his mouth as he captured my lips in a searing kiss. His tongue did wondrous things to me.

I grabbed his hair and yanked him closer. More, I had to have more.

He grunted and it went from sweet to ferocious in seconds. Our movements were frenzied as our lips tried to be everywhere at once. My hands ran up and down his hard shoulders and back into his hair. He sucked on my neck and left a trail of kisses from my earlobe to my collarbone. I was whimpering now and palmed his perfect ass looking for friction.

"You like that don't you? Fuck, your skin tastes so good, I can't stop."

"Then don't. Ever."

Edward growled into my neck and moved his mouth down over my hard nipples. His tongue flicked out over my right one and I hissed with pleasure.

"More, Edward, I need, I just need more…"

His hands grabbed my hips and pulled me closer to him as his mouth continued sucking and nibbling my breasts. His erection was throbbing against my thigh and that only turned me on more. I could feel myself dripping for him. Edward grazed his fingers across my pelvic bone and I started panting in anticipation.

"You want my fingers, Bella? Tell me how bad you want me to touch you."

"Unggh, so bad. Touch me, Edward, I need it, need you."

His right hand lightly stroked my slit and that alone sent waves of pleasure through me.

"Jesus, you're so fucking wet…" his fingers probed my lips as he slid one finger into me. "So tight, shit. Fuck, feels so good." His breathing sped to match my own as he added a second finger. I was writhing under his touch; it wasn't even his cock and I thought I was going to explode.

I pulled his face to mine and turned it so his ear was right at my mouth.

"I can't wait to feel your. Huge. Cock. Inside me," I whispered in his ear. Then I started nibbling his earlobe.

"Holy shit! Bella, what are you doing to me?" His eyes darkened and filled with even more lust than before. "Are you ready for me? You feel ready, baby."

"Please, oh GOD," I moaned as his thumb pressed hard on my clit and another surge of moisture pulsed on his fingers. "I need you, fuck, now, please!"

He plunged into me, nothing sweet or slow about it. Both of our needs for each other peaking. The green-eyed god pounded in to me over and over. Me legs got that numbing tingling sensation and I knew I was close…

"Fuck! Oh my god, oh god Edward! Edward…" I was screaming now.

"Bella, Bella…"

***

"Bella? Bella! Bella wake the fuck up!"

My orgasm came to a screeching halt. _Son of a bitch_. Well, it certainly wasn't a nightmare by any stretch. I tossed and turned feeling completely disoriented. My hair was plastered to my forehead with sweat.

"What the, Rosalie? What are, what's going on?"

"Uhhh, I should be asking you that question. Good dream then?" She had the most impossible gloating smirk on her face.

"Fuck off, Rose." I rubbed my eyes and pushed my hair out of the way. My eyes felt puffy and dry and there was a large gaping crack in my head. At least that's what it felt like. "Ah, shit," I said while rubbing my temples.

"I didn't want to wake you, but you were going to piss off the neighbors. Aaand, it looks like you're going to be late for class. It's 10:20 already."

"Oh shit! Oh fuck, shit, double shit," I mumbled while tumbling out of my bed. My head throbbed with the sudden movement and for a second I thought I was going to hurl. I steadied myself with a deep breath. Frantically looking around for my closest jeans and hoodie, I embraced the fact I would be going with the roll-and-go look today.

"See? This is why you should have planned _not_ to have classes on Friday like me and Alice."

"Ugh, yes, I'm aware that would have been smart. But this is the only time this class is offered. AND I would have gotten a lot more sleep if you two bitches hadn't kept me up until four yammering about those guys."

"Hah! Whatever Bella, you did your fair share of yammering too. About the "green-eyed god," Edward I believe? Surely you didn't forget considering you were just screaming his name…"

I felt my face burning with acknowledgement. Oh god, what did I say last night…?

_Guys, his hair, is like, YUM! Like he's just been fucked. And his eyes, Jesus, they're like fucking laser beams to my panties. _Oh yeah, now I remember.

Rosalie caught my look of panic knowing how verbal I get when I'm drunk, shared with a tendency of not remembering anything I said.

"Don't worry, you fell asleep on the car ride back, so I'm pretty sure you didn't say anything too embarrassing. And if you did, I'll doubt you'll see him again, so no worries, right?"

I just nodded and continued my rushed morning routine.

"Along with waking you up, as part of my left over generosity stemming from my ridiculously hot make out session from last night, I even left you some coffee."

"Aww thanks Rose. I'll expect you to be back to normal when I return."

She flipped me off and slipped out my room leaving me to my fumbling.

I grabbed my satchel thanking the powers that be there was already school stuff in it. There was never much on the first day of class anyways, but this is the only one I was actually excited to take, so the least I could do was be prepared.

I managed to squeeze in washing last night's makeup off my face and brushing my teeth but that would have to suffice. I sprinted toward the door and, bless her, Rose was waiting there for me with my keys and travel mug in her hand. She even kissed me on the cheek.

"Omigod, you're the best!"

"I know. Have a good class, dear." She June Cleaver'd my ass and then smacked it as I squealed and ran out the door.

Throwing my stuff into Stella, I cranked the music hoping it would keep me alert. Vampire Weekend always put me in a good mood and I hoped it would do the trick now.

Even though I could have walked to campus, it was safer for me to drive. Parking would be a bitch, but it would save me the inevitable tripping over my feet and hopefully shave a few a minutes off of my lateness.

By the time I made it to the building it was already five minutes past 11, fuck. I didn't even have a moment to appreciate the fact I had finally made it into Music Composition. It was usually saved for music majors but that didn't mean I didn't want to improve my already mad skills. It would be nice to learn from an authority on the subject instead of relying on my self-teaching.

Because the class had more than 30 students, it was in the only lecture hall in the building. Naturally on the top floor, with no elevators. My blood was pulsing through my head making my hang over that much worse by the time I reached the double doors. I pulled gently on the handle hoping for a silent and stealthy entry. No such luck. The door resembled a haunted mansion sounding motherfucker and made as much noise as door-ly possible. Great.

"… allowed three unquestioned absences and I do NOT tolerate tardiness." The professor turned in my direction and proceeded to give me the death glare along with the rest of the class. "Lucky for you Miss, I'll be generous just this once. Sign the attendance sheet that's being passed around with the syllabuses then bring it down to my T.A. and take a seat."

"Yes sir, sorry Professor." I ducked my head and climbed the stairs toward the back of the room. I prefer sitting in the back of all my classes. Whoever said sitting right in the front helps concentration was a dumb ass. You have the teacher looking right at you the entire time, not to mention however many pairs of eyes boring into the back of your head. No thanks.

"And just as an FYI, I have a pretty good photographic memory, so if you're friend asks you sign the attendance sheet for them in their absence I will know the handwriting. So unless you're a con artist, don't bother." A light titter ran through the students.

I chose my seat, pulled out my notebook, and unfolded the little side desk attached to the chair. The sign-in sheet was just a couple of rows in front of me so I used the extra time to people watch. A few guys, mostly girls, who were all way too dressed up for a Friday morning, made up the class. Three of them in the front seemed to be whispering about something profusely. Then a boy who looked way too "I'm a giant music snob" handed me the roster. I scribbled my name, took a syllabus, and looked around for the T.A. I assumed he was the one in the front bent over a table putting together giant packets of information. I wiggled out of the too small seat and headed that way.

The professor was still in the middle of his first day class of speech so I tried very hard not to face plant down the stairs and interrupt him again. I approached the hunched figure and tapped him on the shoulder.

When he turned around I was met with the deep pools of green that looked into my eyes during an earth shattering almost orgasm less than an hour ago.

_No no no no nonononono. NO._

"Holy," I whispered.

"Shit."

* * *

**Slight cliffie? Reviews? Please? **

**And just a little Rob pimping... GO AND SEE REMEMBER ME. Don't read spoilers. I saw it with someone who knew, and my cinematic experience was way better.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thanks for reading! **

**WARNING: This chapter contains drug use, you've been forewarned.**

**I own the Target version of New Moon, when I CLEARLY should have bought the Walmart one, SM owns all things Twilight, all things Twilight own me.**

**  
Chapter 8**

**BPOV**

_  
Oh you have to be fucking kidding me. This is a sick, mean spirited joke, Universe. Fuck you. A lot._

Someone with power up there was clearly having a good laugh at my expense. "Oh Bella Swan deserves to have her life screwed with some more, this will be fun!"

My green-eyed god was speaking to me and I barely made out his words, at least he had the sense to say something in the midst of this beyond awkward revelation. I muttered what was hopefully a coherent response and somehow found myself back in my seat.

Of course Edward was my professor. Of course the one guy I had a torrid and insanely vivid sex dream about was the one guy I couldn't have. I should have seen this one coming. And now Professor Banner told us he's a music god and concert pianist.

Seriously panties, be wetter.

And then he was talking and I'd be damned if I could look away from those lips. His voice was more velvety than I remembered and I wanted to close my eyes and listen to him speak for hours. But my peripherals had other ideas and granted me the visual of all the girls, and one guy, pushing their chests out, crossing their legs, and biting their pens, hard.

_THE. FUCK. I was going to have a choke a bitch._

No, no NO. I couldn't think like that could I? We met, we danced, we flirted, we _barely_ kissed. He wasn't mine. And now he couldn't be. That much was painfully obvious. Let the shutting of that door commence, and lock it. And throw away the key.

I began compartmentalizing, shoving dirty Edward thoughts aside and replacing them with intelligent, he-knows-a-shit ton-about-music thoughts, or at least I would try. I picked up that he was assisting Professor Banner this semester and something about individual projects… wait what? I felt my chest tighten as I began frantically looking through the syllabus.

Only my irrational fear of performing my music could tear my thoughts from Edwa – _Professor Cullen. Seriously, fuck my life._ I found the section I was looking for and immediately broke out into a nervous sweat.

_Individual projects… due at the end of the term, blah blah, pick your own instrument, blah blah, graded on originality, complexity and SON OF A BITCH, performance?_

I couldn't, I didn't, I **never** played my own music, for anyone, ever. And now I was suppose to be graded on it. Perfect, wonderful. _Again Universe, fuck off._

My stomach was already churning with the very idea of playing in front of these people, and Edward. Damnit! I mean Professor Cullen. I just couldn't expose myself like that, and for whatever reason my gut was actually agreeing with my head for once.

I heard the whispers once he was introduced, apparently Edward was fairly well known among the music community. But why was he here? Someone said he just up and quit? Weird. But now I have even more reason not to ever play my music in front of him. He would laugh in my face.

Maybe I could talk to Banner, he seemed reasonable. I could learn a really complex piece or something and perform that one and just turn in my sheet music for him to grade. I could play in front of people, it wasn't a stage fright thing, as long as it wasn't written by me, I could handle it.

I was determined not to gawk at Edward like the majority of the class and at least I had a good distraction. Mentally preparing the speech I was going to give the professor after class occupied my full attention until I heard him mention practice rooms. And getting our own keys. My head snapped up from my furious doodling and my mood shifted from petrified to "kid at Disney World" just like that. Hallelujah!

No more would I have to limit myself to playing on Sundays only. And I was sure Jake would be thrilled he could have his house to himself again. He had sacrificed that one day a week for me for the past three years so I could play in peace on his worn out upright. Partying was one thing in our apartment, but I definitely couldn't keep a piano there and I needed to be alone when I played anyway. I had hashed out so many things on that piano, gone through way too many tissue boxes and cherry Blow Pops, but the prospect of being able to play whenever I wanted made me overwhelmingly giddy.

I was yanked from my happy thoughts by the rustle of jackets and papers and realized the class was over. First days were always like that, go over the syllabus and get the hell out. A blessing to be sure, considering with all my running around this morning my hangover didn't have time to settle in, and it was currently ripping my head open. I just had to give my speech to Banner and then an omelet the size of my face was in order along with a nap.

Standing in line to get my key I could feel Edward, _Professor Cullen's_, eyes boring into the back of my skull. I didn't take into account that he might be mad at me, for what I couldn't really fathom. It's not like he told me about his job either. And to put things in perspective, nothing had really happened last night. Some dirty dancing and peck on the lips, yes. But that was it, nothing incriminating, so it would be fine. We would move on. I would stop fantasizing about running my hands through his hair. Stop thinking about how he smelled comforting and sexy at the time. And definitely stop thinking about staring into those eyes while he plunged into… ugh! Damn the sex dream!

I shoved the practice room key in my bag and jogged down the mayonnaise colored hall to catch up with Banner.

"Um, Professor Banner?"

"Ah yes, the late one, Miss…?"

"Swan. Bella Swan. I'm sorry I was late this morning."

"It's quite all right Miss Swan. I have to put on intimidating face the first day, so please don't worry, but I would prefer it if you were on time for my class considering you had to petition the department to get into this class in the first place." Recognition at my name was all over his face. When he said 'petition' he was being rather kind. Begging might have been more appropriate.

"Yes sir. It won't happen again." I looked down at my shoes, shifting my weight.

"Good to hear it. Did you have another question?"

"Actually, yes. I wanted to talk to you about the performance part of our individual projects. And I was wondering exactly, how important that part might be?"

"Do you have a problem with performing in front the class, Miss Swan?"

"No, not exactly, it's just, I, uh, can't play my _own_ music, sir. Anything else would be fine, as long as I didn't write it. And I was hoping that if I turned in whatever I've worked on at the end of the semester and just played a different piece, that I could still get credit…" My voice was getting all high and squeaky.

"I don't understand Miss Swan. You do realize you're in Music Composition. But you're willing to compose a piece for this class and work on it all semester, but you don't want to play it? Performing what you've worked so hard on should be a reward of sorts."

"My music, what I write, it's just for me, Professor. And me alone. I didn't want to be in this class to play for anyone. I signed up to learn, to better myself – I mean, my writing. Is it so important that I play my music for the class?"

"Well, you certainly are the first student to ever ask me that. Most kids in this department can't wait to show off to their peers," he huffed. "But the reason I include it in my class is because the music may be written well in theory, but until I hear it played, it's almost impossible to understand the story behind it. It's easier to give feed back if I can understand the music better, and who would know it better than the composers themselves?

My palms were sweating. _Fuck, I was going to have to drop the class._

"That being said, I can see it makes you visibly uncomfortable to even think about the prospect of playing your music for an audience. I will think about your suggestion and let you know what I decide. But make no mistake, I will expect to at least see your music at the end of term and before that, in increments to make sure you aren't slacking."

"Oh yes, of course, definitely not, sir. I can do that." _Was I really this lucky?_

"I'll think about the performance side of things and let you know on Monday. Would that be ok? I'm late for a meeting just now."

"That works great! Thank you so much! I can't even tell you," I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Not at all, Miss Swan. I'll see you Monday…on time."

As he walked away my chest finally loosened with the hope that he wouldn't force me to play because I really didn't want to drop the course. Exposing that part of myself was just not even an option. Although my brain was screaming at me to withdraw anyway for fear of seeing Edward three days a week. But another organ farther south was giving a good argument that _that_ was a major perk to staying in the class.

As I finally let my body relax, the effects of last night hit me full force and I knew I needed a serious hang over day. Greasy food, my couch, and comedies of the Will Ferrell/Adam Sandler variety were definitely on tap.

But no. And granted, I should have seen this one coming, but Universe had other plans.

"Bella! Bella? Wait, please," Edward said while half-jogging to catch up.

Sweet Jesus hadn't the day been long enough? I was only two hours into it and I was more than ready for it to be over.

I knew I had to face him. I knew it wouldn't be pretty. I knew, no matter what he was going to say, I was going to brush him off like nothing ever happened. What I didn't know is that I would start salivating at the very sound of my name coming from his lips. But now was not the time for such things.

I needed to shut this off. I needed to shut down these emotions he seemed to have a mysterious control over. I needed to not notice how his dark gray sweater hugged his body perfectly. I needed to not look at the second day scruff on that lickable jaw line. I DEFINITELY needed to not look into his eyes.

He slowed his pace and I waited for him to close the distance. Jesus Christ, I didn't even account for his smell. Eye contact I could avoid, breathing on the other hand posed more of a challenge. His scent swirled around me and I could feel my focus slipping.

"Bella, I, uh, thanks for waiting. I thought we should talk a little."

"Yeah, talking might be good…" I looked at his nose. His sexy, straight nose.

Well, it was better than his eyes.

"I umm, shit, why didn't you tell me you're a student?" His hands tugged at his hair; he was nervous too. If possible, it made him even sexier. This was going to be harder than I thought. Real feelings on lockdown, strong Bella at the helm.

"It didn't exactly come up. Why didn't you tell me you were a teacher?"

"It didn't exactly come up," he smirked right back. Bastard used my own line against me. "Besides, technically, I'm not a professor. And, even if I had told you, I don't think that would have stopped you."

_Umm, exsqueeze me?!_

"Stopped me? Stop me from doing what exactly? From having fun? Drinking with my friends? And just so you know, if you had told me, I DEFINITELY would have dropped you like a bad habit. Besides, the only reason we ended up hanging out last night is because my roommates were with your friends. You just happened to be in the wrong place at the right time." I was seething. Could he really think that low of me?

At least it looked like my words had hit their mark. His face was frozen in shock. Strong Bella one, Edward zero, inner Bella negative one.

_This blows, why am I doing this?!_

"No, Bella, that's, ugh, came out really wrong. What I mean was that, you felt, or at least I think I felt,"

I started waving my hand in front his face to get him to stop talking. Talk of feelings was out. And he clearly wasn't capable of doing this. Though a part of me loved that I had the upper hand here and had him utterly flustered.

"Look, stop. Seriously. Don't worry about it, I was drunk, we were having fun, and both of us definitely didn't see this coming. So it's okay. No harm done. We don't even know each other. No big. I promise." My confidence in the words grew as they came out.

"Yes, I suppose you're right. I just didn't want you to feel uncomfortable in class, or think that I normally do things like that." He looked down, uncomfortable even thinking about last night. Poor guy, he really did have a pool cue lodged in that perfect ass.

"Do things like what? Go out and be social? Jesus, you really do need to lighten up, don't you?" I couldn't avoid his eyes any longer; they pierced into mine with readable curiosity. "Look, I'm good, you're good, and we have nothing to worry about. But do try to have some fun every now then. It suited you well last night." Shit, was I flirting? I couldn't control it if I was. It was the eyes! I needed to maintain my advantage here. I turned to start walking away, "See you next week, _Professor Cullen_," I said.

Only a few feet away, I couldn't resist stealing one last peek. I rotated my head just enough to see that he was still standing there with his mouth agape staring after me.

The rain had started up again, and I hurried back to my truck. I couldn't help feeling slightly victorious over what just happened. Not only had I managed to leave him gawking after me, but also affectively shut down whatever was transpiring between us. I wasn't lying when I told him I liked things uncomplicated. And he was, or would have been, all types of complicated. But something was still nagging at me. I couldn't place my finger on it, just a lingering feeling in the pit of my stomach.

What if he wasn't my teacher? What if we just ran into each other again? What if he was actually worthy getting to know? The 'what if's' kept building and I found myself frustrated with myself for blowing things off so quickly. I mean, just because nothing could ever happen between us didn't mean I had to shut him down completely.

Apparently I would be seeing him on a slightly frequent basis, I might as well be civil. And maybe if I did get to know him, even if only a little, it would shatter my ridiculously perfect image of the green-eyed god. Yes, that was good. That could be a plan. Edward definitely couldn't be as perfect as he seemed. No one ever was.

I made it back to my place, immediately dawning my jeans for comfy sweats. Food was calling to me and cooking would definitely help take my mind off things. I whipped up a massive omelet stuffed with bacon and cheese and plopped in front of the television. But even bad daytime dramas couldn't lull me to sleep.

My mind was swirling with thoughts of Edward. The sheer irony of it all was enough to make me crazy. I'd practically given up on guys all together. None of them seemed to have that elusive draw for me. And then I meet the sexy professor, and not only was I drawn to him, it felt like a magnetic force.

And I was the asshole who said "don't worry about it, we're good, nothing happened."

_Stupid, stupid, STUPID._

"UGH!" I said to the empty living room. It was time to bake. I needed to keep my hands busy. And nothing keeps them busy like homemade baked goods. Especially whipping the batter manually.

I gathered the ingredients for my super chocolaty, clog-your-arteries brownies. It was a good thing I didn't have anywhere to be. I was a straight up mess. Flour in my hair, chocolate on my face, and somehow in the fray I managed to drop an egg on myself. My clumsiness should really be studied by experts. While I was stirring the batter I had an idea, a little ingenious if I say so myself. I decided for pure relaxation purposes to add a special ingredient.

In my room I had what I like to call, "The Funsies Drawer." Currently it holds my vibrator, a couple of battered erotica books, a grinder, my tie-dyed colored piece, and to go with that piece and grinder, a quarter of granddaddy purple. I had actually never made pot brownies before, but how hard could it be?

I ground up most of my stash and tossed it into the batter smiling inward at my mischievousness. With the brownies in the oven, I started to clean up my giant mess when I heard keys in the door.

"Well, I think we should double, it will be easier and that way if that big oaf isn't as amusing as I thought he was last night I'll at least have you to talk to," Rosalie said.

"Ugh Rose! If I end up fucking Jasper in front of you, you will only have yourself to blame!" Alice huffed as she threw what I only assumed was the entire mall on our dining room table.

"Double? Fucking? I take it you two have been productive," I said from the kitchen.

"Oh hey Bella! OmigodsoJaspertotallycalled andaskedmeoutfortonight!"

"Jesus, Al, slow down. You know my brain doesn't function at warp speed."

"The guy from last night, you know, my soul mate, texted me today and asked to hang out tonight! And Emmett did the same with Rose, but she's being a bitch and wants to double," she pouted and managed to give Rosalie the death glare at the same time.

"Alice I don't see what the big deal is. So you double, actually get to know your 'soul mate' a little better and in the process will probably save _that_ one from a night in jail from cutting off Emmett's balls when he tries to get fresh. I think it's a win-win situation."

"She's right Al," Rosalie conceded. "I'm not nearly as slutty sober as I am drunk so Emmett probably has the wrong idea already and I really don't have time for another anger management class. PLUS, in his text, he called me 'Barbie.' I'm already on edge. Pleeeeease Alice?"

Even Ari Gold would crack under Rose's puppy dog eyes.

"Fine! Fine, just stop with the look! But just dinner. If things are going well with Jasper by then I'm making no guarantees, you're on your own after that." Alice paused and sniffed the enticing aroma of baking chocolate. "Oooooh, Bella, what are you making Cupcakes?!"

"No, not this time, brownies actually, and they're not done. So don't even think about touching them yet."

She scowled knowing I stopped her from diving in the half-baked goodness. Rose however, was slightly more perceptive.

"Wait, Bella, you only bake when you're stressed, what's up?"

"Oh you know, the usual. Almost had a mind-blowing orgasm this morning, that you stopped by the way, from the most glorious sex dream with my green-eyed god from last night who happens to be my professor and a concert pianist. Average day really."

Their mouths dropped at my words. I thought I had stunned them into shock, until Alice started guffawing and Rosalie quickly joined in.

"Aww… Bella… I'm so… sorry," Alice managed between laughs. "It's just… what… are the odds?!"

"You guys suck. No brownies for you!" That shut them up real quick.

Rose wiped a tear from her eye once she composed herself. "So you're serious? He was just standing there when you got to class?"

"Well, kind of, he's the T.A. so he's helping out the actual professor, but still." The rest of the story poured out in a matter of minutes and when I got the part about cutting him off before he really even said anything to me, Rosalie nodded in approval and Alice shook her head.

"Bella, what if he was trying to tell you he wanted to see you again? What if-"

"No Al, I can't deal with that. He's a teacher, it would be weird and I don't want to be 'that girl' who sleeps with the professor. It's a bad porno movie waiting to happen. And I just, I can't, it's too much to deal with."

"Well, I think you made the right decision. Admire from afar. From what I remember he was definitely something to look at. And maybe when the semester is over, you can play with his instrument," Rose laughed at her terrible pun and I threw my dishrag at her.

"Ha, thanks for being so understanding asshole." My timer dinged and I grabbed a toothpick to check my brownies. Shit, they needed another twenty minutes.

"Guys I'm going to jump in the shower, can you check these in twenty minutes? They should be done by then so set them out to cool. And no snacking! We should save them for when you're both telling me about your sure-to-be-awesome double date later."

"Yay! Sounds good! We'll start getting ready you're done, I will settle for nothing less than perfection tonight. Jasper is going to cream himself when he sees me," Alice said.

"Ah ahhhh, so don't need that visual. Remember, twenty minutes!" I yelled from down the hall.

I didn't have to work tonight since I filled in yesterday, so my night's plans consisted of glorious nothing. I took my time in the shower, letting Philosophy's Coconut body wash make me believe I was on a beach with a giant fruity drink in my hand. The hot water even managed to loosen the knots that had been building in my shoulders the last few hours.

I puttered around my room, straightening up the wake of my tornado from this morning. Checked e-mails, cleaned out my purse and even called my dad. My conversations with Charlie were always short and seriously lacked depth. But I knew he liked it when I checked in. We hit our normal topics, the weather, classes, work, and Jake. He would always hold a soft spot for Jake and I couldn't blame him. Jake took care of me when Charlie couldn't and I knew he thought of Jake as my personal bodyguard. I updated Charlie the best I could and by the time we hung up it was close to six.

Grabbing the latest James Patterson from my nightstand I relished in the idea of some real alone time. It was rare that any of us had the apartment to ourselves and I planned to sprawl in the living room.

Giggles were coming from the couch however that I had planned to dominate. Alice and Rose were sitting there with their hair and makeup done but still in pj's, with one of the trays of brownies between them. And it was half gone. It was my turn to laugh at them.

"Bella these brownies are soooooo good. But I'm so thirsssstyyy," Alice whined.

Rose was staring at her hands and wiggling her fingers laughing like a crazy person.

I busted up. I'm talking bent over at the waist, can't breathe, tears streaming from my eyes, laughing. I couldn't even stand. I fell over clutching my stomach.

And of course they just laughed right along with me.

"You guys, I can't – breathe – I can't believe you ate – all of those!"

"Well, they were done, and they looked so good, and we're almost done getting ready, but now, I feel all floaty…" Rose pondered.

"Shit, you guys, I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you… umm those weren't exactly normal brownies. There's about a quarter ounce of pot in there…"

"What the fuck, Bella? We have dates coming in like thirty minutes… and I know I should care more, and be mad or something, but I'm finding that really hard to do right now."

Alice just cackled and didn't stop. There was no coming back from this. Those poor boys. They were going to end up being dragged to McDonalds because of the munchies.

_Oops. Well, if you can't beat 'em…_

I scarfed down some of the chocolate squares and it wasn't long before I joined in the ridiculousness. We definitely didn't do this often, and right now it felt wonderful to numb my brain from the day's craziness. The whole pan was gone within minutes and I welcomed melting into the couch.

It wasn't long however before there was a knock on the door. The irony of the entire situation hit me again and another laughing fit took over. Considering I was the least incapacitated of the three of us, Rose was lying on the floor and Alice thought it was "cool" to hang upside down from the couch and let the blood rush to her head, I had to answer the door. Plus, if anyone was the to blame for the failed date, it was me.

Putting on my sternest non-high face, I swung open the door.

"Hey, Bella right? Jasper and Emmett," he gestured. "We're here to pick up your roommates?"

I couldn't hold it in. It was just too damn funny. I tried so hard not to, but I guffawed right in his face. They exchanged a really confused look, which only made me laugh harder so I held up a finger telling to wait a minute. Once I could breathe again I motioned for them to come inside.

"Um, so this is all my fault. I had a stressful day and ended up making some um, _special_ brownies… and Rose and Al didn't know and they ate half the pan. So, they are, well, indisposed?" I pointed at the blobs of humans in the living room.

Emmett immediately started laughing and chanting, "Stoner Barbie, stoner Barbie, stoner Barbie!"

Jasper was shaking his head but I could see he was laughing as well.

"If you call me stoner Barbie one more time, I will forever call you my bitch! And I would slap if you I could feel my legs right now," Rose mumbled.

Jasper went over to Alice and sat her upright. She was completely glazed over.

"Oh Jasper! I'm sorry, we're not even done getting ready! It's all her fault!" she pointed at me.

Jasper just laughed, "Don't worry about it darlin', no harm done. I think you look pretty cute all made up in your pj's. But since it looks like a night on the town isn't exactly in the cards, we can always reschedule?"

Alice pouted like a toddler.

Jasper laughed at her, "Or, there is clearly another option …" he turned to look at me. "Bella, you got any more brownies?"

* * *

**Please let me know what you think! EPOV up next...**

**Slight promo for my huge KStew girl crush - GO SEE THE RUNAWAYS. It is a kick ass movie.**

**  
What do you keep in your funsies drawer? ;)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thanks so much for reading! I know it seems small in the fic world, but with the last update I reached over 300 hits and I just want to say thank you!**

**Links for this chapter can be found on my profile. And on a personal note... don't make me beg for reviews, cuz I'll do it! :)**

**I own all movies that Jim Sturgess has been in, SM owns all things Twilight, all things Twilight own me.**

* * *

**  
Chapter 9**

**EPOV**

I felt a tap on my shoulder and when I turned around big doe-eyes stared up at me and my body went on lock down. Everything stopped.

_Bella is a student. Bella, the girl you shamelessly jacked off too, twice, in the shower this morning, is a STUDENT in my class. FUCK ME. MOTHER OF FUCKSHITDAMMIT. Pull your shit together. Do it. Do it now. Say something, anything!_

"Thank you, Miss, uhhh," I looked down the list for her last name. "Miss Swan. You can take your seat." I was gripping the clipboard so hard I thought it was going to break.

"Oh, umm, yeah. Sure thing."

Bella looked completely dumbstruck. Her expression probably mirrored my own.

Professor Banner was still talking and I realized that our interaction wasn't as devastating looking as it felt.

"…Helping me this semester is the former Chicago Symphony Orchestra pianist, Mr. Edward Cullen. We are lucky enough that this class is happening during Mr. Cullen's sabbatical. You will show him the same respect as you do for me. Please give him a warm welcome."

The class tittered with applause and whispers.

"Holy shit, he's the youngest any orchestra has had in years…"

"I heard he was working on his own symphony but then he snapped…"

"Stopped playing, just like that. Wonder what he's doing filling in as a teacher's assistant? He could probably teach the damn class."

_Stupid little ingrates. They had to know this was the music hall and any room had exceptional acoustics._

Professor Banner was looking at me expectantly. Oh, apparently I had to say something. Great. My hands automatically went to tug at my hair. Guh, I was going to go bald soon if I didn't quit that habit.

"Thanks everyone. I'll be assisting Professor Banner with your individual projects due at the end of the term. And grading the occasional paper and exam, so just let me know if you have any questions. I'll have office hours as well and those should be on your syllabus."

I glanced up to see if Bella was even looking at me and sure enough she was hunched over her desk furiously scribbling her pen. As I stepped back to gesture that I was finished, I could feel everyone else's eyes on me. An insipid little blonde in the front row was even licking her lips while she stared in my direction. Oh no, that was never going to do.

Banner droned on about what was going to be covered in the class: history of composers, basic composition techniques, and a general study of music ranging from Chopin to Billie Holiday.

"Your final project will be a your own piece graded on several things including complexity and a final performance in the front of the class. I realize the majority of you are music majors and have probably come up with your own material before. If that is the case Mr. Cullen and I will work with you to perfect it, however, I encourage you to start fresh.

"What you learn in this class might inspire you and push you past your current limitations. Although it might seem like we focus on the technical stuff in this class, music is first and foremost about the emotion behind it so don't compose anything just to meet the criteria. That being said, DON'T wait until the last minute to feel 'inspired' by a one night stand and expect us to feel the same way. You all have skills or you wouldn't be in here, so get ready to use them. That's it for today, grab a packet on the way out and we'll see you Monday."

That's right, each student had to be fairly experienced with an instrument to be in this class. So what did Bella play, violin? Her fingers were so small it seemed like a good assumption. I could envision her with a bow in her hand…or her tiny fingers running down my chest…

No, I couldn't think like that anymore. She was a student, it wasn't proper and I'm sure the school had rules. Although technically, I wasn't a staff professor, I'm sure all the rules didn't apply to – NO. I had to talk to her and assure her I would be nothing but professional. I could at least manage that.

But that didn't mean I couldn't look at her, right? I could notice the way she had this crinkle in the middle of her eyebrows when she wrote something down. Look at the graceful curve of her neck down to her collarbone. See how a piece of her chocolate hair fell in the v-shape of her green hoodie just above the faint line of her cleavage.

Shit, this was going to be slightly more difficult than I anticipated.

The least I could do was offer her some sort of explanation, whether or not she had anything to say to me. Christ, was she mad that I didn't tell her? We weren't exactly talking at length last night, but she didn't say anything to me either! How hard was it to say, "I'm a student?"

However it dawned on me that even if she had told me, it wouldn't have made a bit of difference. Logically, I would have considered the odds of her being in my class and then tell myself to hell with it. I couldn't have stayed away from her.

"Oh, before I forget, each student in this class gets a master key to all the practice rooms in this building. No one works on the same schedule so the department agreed students could have keys. Just be respectful of each other and try not to monopolize a room for more than four hours at time. Keys are on the desk as well."

I saw Bella in the throng of students grabbing a packet and then a key. She looked anxious and definitely in a hurry. Because of me, no doubt. If I was embarrassed she had to be mortified. I had to talk to her, let her know things didn't have to be like this. Although some part of me knew I just wanted to be near her again.

The class cleared out as I waited for my opportunity. But when I spotted her, she was down the hall talking to Professor Banner. What was that about? Bella looked extremely uncomfortable. She kept shifting her weight on her feet and could barely look Banner in the eye. What was going on? Oh shit, she was going to drop the class. She was going to drop the class? Because of me? Jesus, it couldn't have been that bad.

Yes I had wildly inappropriate fantasies about Bella from the time our eyes locked in the classroom. I had to stop myself several times from climbing through the rows of other students and kissing her in front of everyone. I was even jealous of the blue pen she wiggled between her fingers. But the few words we had exchanged were professional, and I could definitely keep it that way between us, for now.

All professors at colleges had to go through this at some point time. It was impossible for them to never find one of their students attractive. And besides cheesy Penthouse articles and bad porn plot lines, most of the time nothing happened. I could handle this. No problem.

I waited for them to finish talking and in the end it looked like Bella was slightly relieved. My feet automatically started moving toward her and as much as every fiber in my being was screaming at me to ask her out, kiss her, and make love to her from sun up until sun down, I knew what I needed to do.

My speech ran through my head as my mouth asked to her wait.

_Last night was great Bella but I wish you had told me you were a student because the last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable. But I felt something between us, and I think you did too, and maybe we could get to know each other a little better and see where we are at the end of the semester?_

Of course I should have known nothing would go to plan. My thought-out speech was forgotten in her presence. Emotions flashed through her eyes at lightening speed: hurt, lust, curiosity, and determination. The determination stuck around and it made the cutest little crinkle between her eyes. There goes my speech.

"Bella, I, uh, thanks for waiting. I thought we should talk a little."

"Yeah, talking might be good…"

"I umm, shit. Why didn't you tell me you're a student?" Well, that came out like accusation. Excellent.

"It didn't exactly come up. Why didn't you tell me you were a professor?"

She was still feisty and I loved it. "It didn't exactly come up," I threw right back.

Jesus this was not how this was supposed to go. This was going to be a happy conversation and it was anything but. Some mystical force had taken over the logical side of my brain. I heard myself saying, "Besides, technically, I'm not a professor. And, even if I had told you, I don't think that would have stopped you."

_Oh shit._

Anger and hurt washed over her face. I was a douchebag. A douchebox. A silo of douche. Bella was yelling at me, and I knew I deserved it. The words she was spewing with venom really hit home. I had no right to speak to her that way, but the kicker was I **really** didn't mean to say that, it just came out.

_Stop her! Fix this, you have to apologize! Stop fucking this up!_

I tried to stop her. I told her that I shouldn't have said that, and that I felt something for her but I couldn't get a word in. Before I knew it, she was saying it was no big deal. Not to worry about it. We didn't even know each other.

_Bella don't you see? I want to know you!_

At least that's what I would have said if I weren't such a pussy.

"Yes, I suppose you're right. I just didn't want you to feel uncomfortable in class, or think that I normally do things like that," came out instead. _Pussy. You don't deserve a penis._

"Do things like what? Go out and be social? Jesus, you really do need to lighten up, don't you? Look, I'm good, you're good, and we have nothing to worry about. But do try to have some fun every now then. It suited you well last night."

I couldn't keep up with this woman. One minute she's pissed, the next she's flirting? Or my overactive imagination at least thought she was.

"See you next week, _Professor Cullen_," she purred my new title and the blood rushed so fast to my cock I thought my heart might stop beating.

_Oh. My. God._ That was quite possibly the sexiest thing I've heard and all I could do was stare after the goddess that was now walking away from me.

I couldn't be sure how long I stood there, but at some point my brain started functioning again and I headed to my new office still slightly dizzy. I had dropped off a few boxes a couple of days ago in preparation although the contents were sparse at best.

Truthfully, I shouldn't even have an office considering I was a T.A. But since I wasn't actually a grad student helping out a professor, the department wanted to up my status without increasing my salary, ergo, own office. Good thing I didn't need the money.

Diploma, check. Some books on the painfully bare shelves, check. Family picture, cheesy treble clef paperweight my mom gave me, and picture with my friends from the orchestra, check.

Settling in didn't take that long and I was mindlessly going through e-mails trying not to think about Bella. While she made herself perfectly clear that there was nothing to worry about, her statement had the opposite effect on me. All I could do was worry, mostly over the possibility that nothing more was going to happen between us. I knew that the student/teacher situation didn't create the best dynamic, but that wasn't going to last forever. And suddenly I realized what emotion had been plaguing me the last hour.

Rejection.

I had been ready to put myself out there again and was shut down so swiftly that I forgot there was the possibility of that happening. But I know what I felt last night. Something was there and Bella had to feel it too. Or, maybe I really was deluding myself into thinking the connection was mutual because my brain was telling me that it was time, and okay for me to move on.

A knock on the door pulled me from my thoughts.

Jasper smiled, "Nice digs, Professor. I see you're not getting the normal T.A. treatment."

"Yep, they pretty much wanted to spoil me, what can I say," I gestured to the impossibly small space.

"Well you ready for lunch? There's a new sandwich café type place we can walk to."

"That sounds good, I'm starving actually."

"No breakfast to nurse the hangover this morning?" he laughed as I locked up the tiny room.

"Nah, I wanted to get here a little early and make sure Professor Banner didn't need anything, good impressions and all that. You look like you're feeling chipper though, but I don't know if I can say the same for Emmett. Have you heard from him?"

"Ha, yeah, he apparently ran out of a meeting this morning to go puke. But according to him he 'rallied' right after that and was good to go. In fact, he seemed pretty eager to get in touch with Rosalie…" he trailed.

"Oh yeah? That's pretty rare for him, wonder why she's so special all of a sudden," I mused.

"No clue, my best guess is that she didn't put up with any of his shit last night. And he didn't get laid. But he does like them spunky, you know?"

"All to well, yes. And, uh, how about you? Just as excited to call Tinker Bell?"

Japer chuckled, "Tinker Bell, I like it. I will be stealing that from you if we ever get close enough for pet names. But yes, Alice, was great. Different. But I could sense some hesitancy on her part so I don't want to push anything."

"Jazz, if there's anything I learned, is that the girls you actually like, you shouldn't play games with. I didn't even wait twelve hours before I called Tan…" I broke off my sentence and immediately focused intently on the grass beneath my shoes.

"Edward. You can say her name. I think, I _know_ it will get easier with time," he whispered.

My hands went straight to my hair. "Yeah, I just, it feels wrong. To talk about her like nothing happened. And I swear to god if you say 'it's not your fault' to me one more time, I'll-"

He cut me off, "I know I know, man, but like just now, you were thinking of a good memory with her. And I think that's ok. I think that's how it will get better. Focus on the good stuff."

I was officially clammed up on the subject, but Jasper did have a point. However, he could tell I was done talking about it for now and tried to change the subject.

"Speaking of focusing on the positive, the bartender from Wolfe's, Bella? It seemed like you two kind of hit it off…" he waggled his eyebrows at me.

"Jesus Jazz, be more of sixteen year-old girl," I laughed and used the brief amount of time to decide I did not need to tell him that Bella was a student in my class. I was just not in the mood to share the newest reason for my mood. "She was cool, but I don't think anything is going to happen."

_She made that abundantly clear._

"That's too bad, it would have been nice to suggest a group thing if I text Alice later. You know, ease the pressure and all."

"You still have Emmett."

"Yeah, I guess. You sure though? From what little I paid attention to you guys last night, it seemed like she was pretty interested. You didn't fuck it up already, did you?"

"Shit, no! It's just not going to work out. Don't worry about it." The trace of humor was gone from my voice and Jasper quickly understood I meant what I said.

We made it to the café and ordered our food. Shooting the proverbial shit took up the rest of our conversation as did a brief discussion of what Jasper should say in his text to Alice.

I quickly backed off the topic trying to reclaim my manhood Bella squashed earlier and told him to sac-up and just ask her out.

_There, penis reattached._

The rest of the day passed without consequence. I fielded a call from Esme who was trying every excuse in the book to come and decorate my house, but I told her it might not be that permanent so she shouldn't waste her efforts.

I cracked open a Stella and began the tedious task of unpacking the rest of my boxes. I never realized how much shit I had accumulated over the years until I had to move it. It was daunting to say the least and by the time I was three quarters of the way through, it was getting close to eleven o'clock and my stomach was snarling at me.

At least the kitchen was well stocked, that my mother had insisted upon. A plate of chicken, veggies and risotto later I was full and contentedly sitting in front of the television planning to let a mind-numbing show lull me into slumber, when my phone beeped.

Fuck, low battery.

I checked my stuff that I had taken to class but my messenger bag was empty. It should have been in there because I had it with me when Jazz and I went to lunch… didn't I? But then he gave me ride back after, I must have dropped it in his car. I hoped there was enough battery for a phone call…

_Come on, man, pick up your phone… _

Damn, maybe things with Alice ended up happening and they were going well… fuck it. I needed my charger, he could deal.

He finally answered, "Eeeeee, what's up man?"

"Jazz? You ok?"

"Fuckin' great," he sighed. And I heard giggling in the background. Well, he did pick up, so he must not have been too busy.

And then came the unmistakable Emmett guffaw followed by a squeal and more giggling.

"Uhhh what's going on? Did I interrupt something?"

He snickered, "Nah, plans got changed, and Emmett and I are over at the girls' place just hanging out – HEY! That last one is mine!" He grunted and then started chewing. "What's up?" he mumbled with a full a mouth of something.

"Oh, uh, I just can't find my phone charger and I think it might have fallen out of my bag in your car earlier, did you see it?"

"Nope," he popped the 'p,' "I drove over here with Emmett so I would have seen it. Sorry, s'probably in your office though."

"Yeah you're right. Shit," and suddenly I could no longer hold back the question that had been on the tip of my tongue since he told me they were at Bella's apartment. "So ummm, you guys ending up hanging out together? With everyone?"

"Yeahhhh," he drawled. "Bella was here earlier, she made these fuck awesome brownies… but she ran out. Met up with friends or something. But I think she was just giving us some space," as he said that I heard more squealing followed by _Jasper, don't! I'm ticklish!_

"Oh ok, well um, I've got to run before my battery completely dies, I'll see you later." I hung up before he could respond.

The happy noises along with my raging jealousy over the fact Jasper and Emmett could hang out with Bella were not boding well with me.

I grabbed my keys from the counter and rushed to the car. It had really started pouring. I got used to the snow in Chicago and the rain was taking some readjusting on my part.

The water was rising and I managed to hydroplane turning into the parking lo behind the music building. Good god this day was shitty. And it had started out so well…

My shoes made obnoxious squeaking noises as I climbed the main staircase up to the second floor. The key clicked in the lock and as I flicked on the lights my eyes immediately landed on the missing phone charger. I bent down to unplug it, and that's when I heard it.

A beautiful trill floated down to me from the ceiling. The notes were clear and mesmerizing and I realized there must be a practice room above my office. I was entranced and I sat down hoping to hear more.

The music continued, hauntingly beautiful. It ranged across the entire piano and I could feel the emotion behind the piece. It made me feel heartbroken, depressed, all around sad. But when it approached the end, the music changed, leaving me with a nuance of hope.

Whoever was playing though struggled with the last few bars. I could hear them start and stop, varying the chords looking for the right fit. A frustrated bang sounded from above and nearly made me jump out of my chair. I assumed their fists had slammed onto the keys creating the unpleasant sound.

There was a long pause before the familiar sounds of "Here Comes the Sun" reached my ears. What I didn't expect was the voice that started to sing along.

_Angel_.

I didn't even realize that I was hoping my mystery player was a woman until I rejoiced at the confirmation the voice, _her_ voice, gave me. If I was entranced before, I was now fully under her spell.

My eyes closed as I listened to her voice, pure and silky, but throaty at the same time. It's talent like hers that made me want to track down the likes of Britney Spears and other synthetic voices and slap them across the face.

The fantasy of doing just that got me sidetracked and I didn't even realize the song was over and she was plugging away again at the notes that had her thwarted her from before.

Another bang. And this time accompanied with an audible "ugh."

I wanted to track her down, and help. I could hear where she wanted the music to go, she just couldn't seem to get there herself. But I rationalized that if anyone was here playing this late on a Friday night, they clearly didn't want company.

She had stopped again. _Please, play again, angel._

And when she did, my heart skipped and stopped.

Korsakov's "Flight of the Bumblebee" hit my ears like a ton of bricks. It was one of my favorite pieces to bang out, once I had it mastered, and I knew how difficult the tempo was the keep. But she was playing it, and playing it well.

Not only could the angel sing, and I knew she had talent, but sweet mother of pearl, she was fucking SKILLED.

I knew I had to find her.

Newly charged phone in hand I locked up my office prepared to roam the halls. Once I was in sight of the main staircase again, the unmistakable sound of footsteps approached.

My breath caught in my chest, I knew it had to be her. We were definitely the only ones in the building. A figure ghosted down the second floor landing and I ran to catch up with her.

I reached her on the first floor. A green hoodie hid her face from me.

"Excuse me," I called out to get her attention. "But was that you, playing the piano just now? Upstairs?"

She didn't turn around though and sped up her pace. "Yes, crap, I'm sorry, I didn't realize anyone else was here – I didn't mean to disturb you! I just like privacy, I'm so sorry!" She was practically jogging now to the front doors.

"No! I'm not mad or anything, what you were playing, it was beautiful. Please, stop!"

She reached the door, but paused. _Oh thank god._ It looked as if she was reconsidering something, but started to push the door.

"Please! Wait, don't go. I meant what I said. I think you're extremely talented. And I just wanted to talk to you," I stammered.

She was still contemplating something, I don't know what had her so spooked. So I lowered my voice, "Please? My name is Edward. I'm a new T.A. here. I swear I'm not a creep stalking the campus for beautiful coeds. I just left my phone charger in my office earlier and when I came back I heard you playing…"

A small chuckle left her mouth, "So you think I'm beautiful? You haven't even seen my face yet, Edward," she murmured.

Fuck, she still hadn't turned around but she wasn't running either. "I knew you were beautiful when I heard you play. Your inner beauty was reflected in that. I couldn't care less what you actually look like. I just knew I had to meet you," the last part came out in a whisper and looked down knowing I actually did sound like a creep at that moment.

I saw her feet rotate toward me. My eyes slowly raked up her lean body to find her face.

For the second time that evening, my heart stopped.

"You still think I'm beautiful?"

"God, yes," I breathed.

She smiled and looked at me through her long lashes. My heart skipped again. Her hand reached for mine.

"I'm Victoria. It's nice to meet you Edward."

* * *

**You had to have seen that one coming... *snickers***

**Reviews? Pwetty pwetty pwease? (says with Puss In Boots sad eyes from Shrek) For serious, I would love to know what you guys think.**

**If you have questions or want to play in the awesome world that is the fandom on twitter, you can follow me lightheaded23.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hi and thanks for reading! Sorry this took a little longer than usual, RL stuff is a bitch. **

**Thanks to my new and super awesome wonderful beta Jarkin33 for her help! She rocks my face off.**

**Disclaimer: I own a Wii, SM owns all things Twilight, all things Twilight own me.**

**  
Chapter 10**

**EPOV**

"Victoria… it's nice to meet you too."

Her icy blue eyes were scrutinizing and I could feel myself blushing under her glare.

"So..?" she lingered.

"Yes, so," I paused still admiring her striking beauty. "Um, there's a coffee place down the street, it stays open pretty late, wouldyouwanttojoinme?"

Fucking Christ, I was a prepubescent boy again trying to ask a girl to a dance. She looked at me, hard, squinting her eyes as if trying to see something that wasn't there.

"Ok," she relented.

"Really?"

She smiled, "Yes, really, but I'm taking my own car in case you really turn out to be a creep."

I held up my hands in surrender. "I can't fault you for that. Too many weirdos out there nowadays, but I promise I'll be a gentleman."

"That's exactly what a psycho would say, you know…" her eyes were light with humor.

My arm reached around her to push the door open for her, "After you."

On our way to the parking lot I discovered her name was Victoria Larson, she was a graduate student studying music performance, and definitely wasn't in my class. As I started my car my mind flashed to Bella and to her swift rejection, which is when I threw my car into reverse determined to make the most of this. We caravanned to Espress Yourself and when we walked in I noted that it hadn't changed at all in the last few years. It was oddly comforting.

A decaf coffee and one chamomile tea later, we sat down in the squashy purple chairs and began the "getting to know you' dance. But I had had enough.

"So, how long have you been playing piano?"

She took a sip, "Mmm, all my life it feels like. But age wise, since I was six."

"Well, that technically is almost all of your life," I smiled. "Who's your favorite to play?"

"That's a more loaded question than you think, but it really all just depends my mood. If I had to pick one though, I would say Chopin. But I wasn't really in a Chopin-ny kind of mood tonight as you heard."

I chuckled, "Yes, I guessed that."

"A Beethoven fest was just needed you know?" Victoria finished her tea putting the cup on the table. "What about you?"

"Sorry, hang on, Beethoven fest? Were you playing long before we left?"

"Not really, just about forty-five minutes. Just needed a little peace."

My brows furrowed, something wasn't right. I was in my office for at least half an hour listening to her and didn't hear any Beethoven. Fifteen minutes of Ludwig does not a fest make…

"Ah, well maybe I caught the tail end of it then. But I do have to say your Beatles rendition was awesome. You have a great voice."

"Beatles? Edward what are you talking about? And I can't even carry a tune. God, my mom tried to put me in choir when I was young and the poor conductor 'promoted' me as the assistant to the accompanist just so I wouldn't sing. But that actually worked out for the better – Edward, you look really confused about something?"

"So that wasn't you. Singing 'Here Comes the Sun?'" my confusion definitely matched hers at the moment. "And you didn't play 'Flight of the Bumblebee' either?"

"Nope, definitely not. Beethoven night only remember? Maybe there was a stereo or something on above your office?"

"No, I'm sure it was a person. They were playing their own piece I think and couldn't get the ending quite right so the notes kept repeating, so not a CD…" my voice trailed off as I considered the possibilities of what had happened to the, now again, mystery girl.

But apparently, Victoria was a talented pianist as well, what are the odds of that happening? I hear this piano beauty, think I meet her, turns out it's not her, but she's piano goddess anyway and we get along incredibly well. I'm not one to believe in destiny and all that shit but this couldn't be put off as merely a coincidence.

I didn't realize how quiet I had been when Victoria waved in front of my face to snap me out of it.

"Edward? Eeedward? You seem a bit distracted…" she looked quite wary of me now.

"Oh, um, Victoria I'm sorry. I'm just a little confused and trying to understand."

"It's ok, but it seems like your phantom of the music hall has your attention occupied… so I think I'm going to go. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lead you on, I really thought you heard me playing and-" she picked up her purse getting ready to leave.

Shit, I didn't even realize what this must've sounded like to her. What initially drew me in was her playing, or what I thought was hers, but now that I had met Victoria, I was definitely interested. I couldn't let another person walk away from me today because of a fuckup on my part.

"No! Please don't leave!" I grabbed her hand from where I was sitting, imploring her with my eyes to not give up on me just yet. "Wow, that sounds familiar doesn't it?" I smiled trying to lighten the conversation. The corners of her mouth curved up slightly but she didn't sit back down.

"Ok yes, it may not have been you that I heard, but you're the one I met. The timing of that was too dead on to just be a coincidence I think. I also think we have a lot in common and I like talking with you and I definitely wasn't lying when I said you were beautiful…"

"Edward, it was 'my playing' that compelled you to find me. I just feel a little, umm, inadequate? You have this image built up and it just got ruined so forgive me if I'm feeling a little weird."

"Well, let's fix that then. Come on," I grasped her hand and led her out of the coffee shop.

"Edward! What are you doing?"

"WE are going back so I can listen to you play. It's clear you're extremely talented and I want to hear it for myself. I feel like I've missed out."

"Are you sure? It's late and I feel like I've taken up enough of your time…"

"Victoria, you haven't taken up _nearly_ enough of my time yet." Her eyes widened and a slow smile spread across her face.

"Ok, let's go. And if it helps, I do know quite a few Beatles tunes…"

* * *

Saturday flew by. I spent almost all of my time with Victoria. We had so much in common and she was not exaggerating by any means about her piano proficiency. She was one of the most promising performers I had seen in quite some time. And her technique was flawless.

I knew we had a connection. We just made sense in the fitting way. Victoria was charming, smart, could hold her own with me when discussing music, and was strikingly beautiful. Her eyes were this piercing blue and her hair was the color of an open flame and I was helpless moth drawn to the light.

And going into our date Saturday night I was prepared to forget all about Bella. We went to a local Italian place where I knew the owner. It was one of my favorite restaurants when I was in school and Aro and I became fairly close.

Dinner was going well. The topics we discussed were light and I was surprised at how much I was enjoying myself so early on. Sure there were some awkward lulls in conversation but that was to be expected on every first date.

I got up to speak with Aro about bringing over one of his desserts that wasn't on the menu but I knew he had. My sweet tooth wasn't nearly as bad as Emmett's but for a dark chocolate raspberry torte… well my mouth was watering already.

But when I started walking back toward the table, I noticed a man sitting in my chair having a seemingly heated conversation with Victoria. My inner white knight was a little rusty but he was ready to save the day.

I approached the table, "I believe you're in my seat."

"Oh, so you're the next victim I see," His eyes shifted back to Victoria. "Jesus Vic, I thought you had standards. Of course maybe you discovered you have to move between social circles so-"

"DEMETRI, you need to leave. Now," she hissed. And I was suddenly aware that her eyes, although beautiful, were cold and glinted with a burning hatred. I almost felt bad for Demetri. Almost.

"Yes, Demetri. That would be wise on your part considering if you upset her anymore I will help you leave."

He stood holding his hands up in surrender. "Sorry man. I'm out."

But as I was getting ready to sit back down he put his hand on my shoulder and lowered his voice just enough so that Victoria could still hear. "Seriously, the bitch is crazy. Get out now."

"Demetri!" She seethed.

"Whatever, later Vic. And dude, don't say I didn't warn you." Demetri skulked away and out of the restaurant.

We both looked at each other and I wondered what would be the best way to approach this. White knight-ing it won.

"Did he hurt you? Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine, thanks. But I am really sorry you had to hear those things." Her pasta dish had become infinitely fascinating and she refused to meet my eyes.

"Do you mind telling me what happened between you two? He seems quite, erm, bitter?"

She let out a humorless chuckle, "Bitter is putting it mildly. We dated for a few months, I ended things, he wasn't ready for that to happen, and now he harbors a rather intense hatred for me. There's really not that much too it," she shrugged and continued to trace the rim of her wine glass with her finger. I could tell there was more to it, but this was dangerous territory for a first date.

"And I thought girls were supposed to be the crazy exes." I needed to lighten the mood quickly.

"Normally that's the case, you know, in Lifetime movies," I laughed at that one mostly because I knew she was trying to change the subject. "But I don't think he's ever been on the other side of a break up before so I guess it's possible it still stings."

"Well from what I know so far, I can understand why no longer being in your good graces would sting." I smiled.

"Thanks Edward, but um, let's forget about him ok?" she implored.

"It's forgotten," I reached out and covered her hand with mine. It was nice. Her fingers nearly matched mine in length and there was a smattering of freckles on the back of her palm. But that's all it was. Nice. When Bella and I had touched "nice" wasn't even the tip of the iceberg. It was electric. It was… not going to happen. I shifted thoughts of what could have been out of my head and focused on what was right in front of me.

* * *

"Edward honey, would you grab the blue salad bowl at the top of the pantry?"

"Mom, I don't understand why you insist on putting stuff in places you can't reach. It doesn't make sense," I laughed while reaching for the dish.

"Blame it on your father. He thinks he's helping me when he really screws up my whole system," she huffed and started throwing chopped vegetables in the bowl.

Every other Sunday was Cullen Family Fun Day, plus Jasper. Since his parents moved back to his hometown in Texas when he started college, he got his fix of authority figures from Esme and Carlisle, even though they hardly counted as "authority." He even started joining us for Thanksgiving to save a little money and of course, always the hostess and mother, Esme welcomed him like he was her own. But then again, I don't think there is anything my mother loves more than playing hostess to her "boys."

"DAD! You freakin' cheated! You can't do the fast serve every time, that's just not fair!"

"Son it's not my fault you can't keep up! Hah! That's game. And I thought you were the athlete of the family."

I wandered into the living room just in the time to see Emmett slam the controller on the couch muttering about secret button combinations for Wii tennis.

"Damn Emmett, you suck," I chuckled looking at the score.

"Fuck off, bitch."

"Language Emmett!" Esme called from the kitchen.

"Sorry mom!" he turned to me and pointed, "I've taken you down before, do you want to relive the ass beating of '08?"

"No thanks, I'd rather you stay clear of my ass… unless, is there something you need to share with family?" He lunged and socked me right in the shoulder. Fuck that stung.

"Since when are you in such a good mood?" Jasper asked from his perch in the overstuffed armchair while he sipped his beer.

"Since Emmett lost to Dad."

"Glad I could be of service Edward, but you do seem to be in a particularly chipper mood today. Things are going well at school?" Carlisle asked.

Before I could answer Esme called us in for lunch. I enjoyed cooking a fair amount, but nothing ever compares to a home cooked meal and she could fucking cook. The spread covered most of the kitchen table and I could see Jasper, Emmett and Carlisle glaze over into caveman mode. Me hungry. Eat food.

Once everyone got situated conversation eased over to Jasper and me since we had the new school year in common. And bless Esme because she is the only one who can ever fake being interested in Jazz's philosophy courses.

Carlisle tried to change the subject, "Edward, how's your class going? Any promising students?"

"I have no clue. It's only been one day, and even then Banner just went over the syllabus." I shrugged.

Emmett all of a sudden perked up. "You don't think Bella has any promise Edward?"

I choked on my beer and nearly spit it across the table. Jasper clapped me on the back as he laughed. Once I regained lung function I shot Em the best death glare I could muster.

"What? I don't see what the big deal is. Rose told me that she's in your class. I mean, so you grinded on one of your students, I'm sure professors get that kind of action all the time. What? What I'd say?" The table was silent except for Jasper's snickers.

"Um, Edward? Who is Bella?" Carlisle finally managed.

I let out a big sigh. "She's a girl in my class who I happened to meet when these two dragged me out Thursday night. But I had no idea she was a student and I didn't exactly tell her I was a teacher and then I ran into her the next morning. It was slightly awkward, we talked about it, and it's fine," I rambled. Again, silence followed and it was clear no one knew what to say next.

Esme looked up from her salad, "What's grinding?" Everyone laughed at that and I hoped the topic of Bella was done.

Alas, no such luck.

"Well she's seems pretty cool if you ask me. She was super chill the other night and managed to hold her own against me in Mortal Kombat, AND has the 'Boondock Saints' special anniversary edition," Emmett continued.

"The fuck Emmett. I thought you liked Rosalie?" I asked.

"Language!"

"Oh, yeah, Rose is awesome in the 'I want to date her' way. Bella is great in the 'I always wanted a little sister' kind of way. Although, you come pretty close to that…"

I chucked my roll at him.

"That's it! No food throwing, or no leftovers for you!" Esme chided.

"Sorry, mom," we both mumbled.

"Now Emmy, did I just hear you actually want to date someone?" Esme looked hopeful.

"Don't count on it Esme," Jasper chimed in. "He's only saying that because he hasn't gotten in her pants yet."

"Jasper Whitlock! You are supposed to be the good one…"she tsked.

"Mom, you did hear right though. I like this one. Granted it's only been a couple of days, but Rosalie is different."

"Aww Emmy! I never thought I'd hear you say anything like that!" she was practically beaming and I could see wedding invitation ideas swirling in her head. "So Bella and Rosalie are friends?"

"Yeah, they're roommates… along with _Alice_." As he said "Alice" he looked pointedly at Jasper, something my mother was not going to miss.

"Well well, it sounds like you boys have had a busy couple of days, who's Alice, Jasper?"

"Her name is Alice Brandon and she was with the group of ladies we met out the other night. And I definitely plan on seeing her again. Although I've seen her twice already this weekend, including last night, but it's like… I already miss her." He looked down and began tearing his napkin into little pieces.

Jasper's dad was a fairly absent father figure and I think Carlisle liked filling in where he could for him. "Jasper, son, you've always worn your heart on your sleeve as long as I've known you. So if you want to see her, then see her again. Chances are, this girl already knows how you feel. They always know," he looked at Esme with the same expression of love I had seen for 27 years and it still made my mom blush.

"Thanks Carlisle," he smiled. "Alice, is pretty amazing."

"If she's already won you over this much, I have no doubt," he added.

I was actually planning on telling them about Victoria, but now it didn't seem nearly as relevant. The news that Emmett actually liked a girl past the initial meeting was something that I couldn't compete with. And now that Jasper had met someone with this amazing connection, the fact that Victoria and I shared what looked like a fiery kiss, but was really just some glowing embers, after our dinner made me feel left out of something.

_I could have had that with Bella – shit, I DID have that with Bella. _

But I didn't want to let what might have been influence what was going on with Victoria. Not everyone sparks at first. These things take time and we got along quite well, not to mention she was beautiful in her own eccentric way. Fuck it.

"Well, I don't know about amazing, but I met someone too actually, who isn't a student. Well, at least not in my class," I said shooting Jasper and Emmett a look.

Esme dropped her fork with a loud clang and Carlisle started for a second and quickly recovered.

"Sweetie, that's great," Esme said carefully.

"Mom, it's ok. At least, it will be. Things are getting better, at least it feels that way, and we have a lot in common. She's a grad student in the music department and is a really talented piano player too, but I plan on taking whatever it is rather slow."

I felt my father's hand on my shoulder. "That's good, Edward. I think we both just want you to be careful."

I took a deep breath, "Thanks, Dad. I know."

That affectively ended the meal and the rest of Cullen Family Fun Day was spent on an intense game of Monopoly that started the last time we gathered. Esme was kicking all of our asses and had Emmett down to his last dollar before she was officially named the winner. It was moments like this that made me wonder how I spent so many years away from my family.

I made it home feeling more relaxed than I had in a while and encouraged that my parents hadn't completely balked at the idea that I might be ready to move on. Although I was sure my dad would want to have a more lengthy conversation about it at a later date.

My Steinway was calling to me from the other room. I got situated on the bench and was ready to play when I had an idea and reached for my phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi Victoria, it's Edward."

"Edward! Hi, how are you? I had a really good time the other night, you know, minus the psycho ex part," she chuckled.

"I did too, and I was hoping if you weren't busy, you might want to hang out? I'm sitting at my piano debating between a Chopin or Mozart fest and…" she cut me off before I could finish.

"Oh I would love to, but I have plans with some girlfriends tonight, you know before things get crazy with school and everything. Once classes pick up my social calendar is going to be kind of limited since it's my last year…" she trailed off and I could feel my meager hope fleeting. "But we'll figure something out, I don't think we're done yet, you know?"

Hope returned, "Oh good, me either," I exhaled in relief.

"I'll see you later this week?"

"It's a date."

We said our goodbyes and I couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed. I wanted to get to know her better, yes, but on some level it felt like I was out to prove something. My inner caveman was competing with Jasper and Emmett already, jealous over whatever was going on with their respective women. It was completely dumb, but there it was.

The sun was long gone and through the blinds I noticed a familiar glow coming from a window across the street. At that moment a flash of irrational anger ran through me. If it weren't for Bella, I bet my feelings for Victoria would be a hell of lot stronger than lukewarm. I wouldn't be comparing the two of them at each turn. Instead, I would have clicked with Victoria right away. And I wouldn't be gazing longingly at a window hoping to catch a glimpse of a girl that practically ran away from me.

I slammed my fists down on the keys triggering a different memory of my mysterious pianist. Without even thinking, I was in my car on the way to my little office hoping against all odds she would be there again.

Once I got there I waited and waited to no avail. It seemed I was the only recluse haunting the darkened halls tonight.

By the time I returned to my house, my thoughts were so jumbled I couldn't even make sense of them. The relaxation from earlier was gone and I think I finally passed out from sheer mental exhaustion.

* * *

_Christ she looks good today. And she doesn't even have to try._

I sat in the front corner of the room behind Professor Banner for the purpose of listening to his lecture style since I would be taking over the Friday classes, but all I could do was try in vain not to stare at Bella.

I tried forcing myself to think of Victoria instead and I ended up with odd combinations of Bella's face with Victoria's eyes, or Victoria with Bella's hair and vice versa. It was disconcerting to say the least. Despite my efforts, I ended up focusing on Bella.

Class ended before I knew it and I was trying to be subtle about packing up my things at a snail's pace. My back was turned so I could watch the door to see when Bella left. She was wearing a royal blue t-shirt that hugged her curves and would be easy to spot, but I hadn't seen her yet. She had to be at the end of the herd.

"Um, Professor Cullen?" A nasally voice came from behind me.

"Oh please call me Mr. Cullen, I'm certainly not a professor," _and if you call me by that my mind will immediately revert to when Bella said it to me and I will become instantly hard and I so don't need that problem,_ "I'm sorry, I don't know all the students names…?"

"Lauren, Lauren Mallory. I just wanted to say I know your focus is mainly on piano and I'm a flute person myself but I would still love to get some feedback from you if you have the time," she threw me a big smile and stepped a little to far into my personal space.

"Certainly Miss Mallory. You have my office hours just set up an appointment." I stepped back, she moved closer still, sticking her cleavage out so far I thought she might sprain something. Ugh.

"Sounds good. I can't wait," she lowered her voice and it made my skin crawl. "See you next class!" She flipped her switch from "seductive" to "perky student" so fast it made my head spin. This was going to be a long fucking semester.

I returned to shuffling papers. Bella still hadn't left yet.

"Ah, Miss Swan, do you have a moment or do you need to run to another class?" I heard Banner ask.

I intentionally dropped the stack I was holding and as I bent down to retrieve the folders I thought I heard her snort. _Fuck, busted. _However, my curiosity hadn't ebbed over what they were talking about last week and maybe I was about to get some answers.

"No, I have time. I don't have my next class until one." I had forgotten what her voice sounded like. Soft in pitch, unlike Victoria's high one. The comparisons just couldn't be helped.

"I thought about your proposal from Friday and I've decided to let you perform something else for your final as long as you hold up your end of the bargain to still compose your own piece that you can turn in to me as well. Does that still sound good?"

"Yes, that's great. Thank you so much! Um, so should I just pick some songs or something and you can choose? Or did you have something specific in mind...?"

"Actually, there is a second condition to this agreement," he paused. "Mr. Cullen! Good, you're still here," he beckoned me and I could feel my feet filling with lead as I shuffled to where they were standing.

_Oh shit oh shit this cannot be good. _

Admiring Bella from afar had been the plan and as things progressed with Victoria I knew my feelings would dissipate eventually, but apparently Banner/Satan had another plan. Excellent.

"Yes, is there something I can help you with professor?" I asked while trying to keep my voice from jumping an octave.

"I would like for you to work with Miss Swan this semester as she learns a difficult piece to perform for her final since she has a rather strong aversion to playing her originals in front of anyone. Essentially, tutor her. I figure we may as well put your skills to good use while you're here," he clearly thought he was being funny.

"Oh, well, um, are you sure? I don't even know what instrument you play, I may not be that much help," I turned and could finally look at her without an agenda. Her eyes were utterly blank and seemed to be focusing on an object behind me.

"She plays the piano, Mr. Cullen. Therefore you are more than qualified to assist. You two can meet once a week and go from there. I'll leave you to work out the details and I'm sure I'll be nothing short of impressed with whatever you choose Miss Swan. See you Wednesday."

With that he grabbed his briefcase and sped off, leaving me, again, under the heated stare of my personal goddess. Who plays the piano. Fucking HELL.

_Dear Jesus/Buddha/Zeus/Allah/Powers That Be: please don't let her call me Professor Cullen again. My pants and my dignity will thank you, amen._

Her eyes narrowed as she crossed her arms. I braced myself for another tongue lashing, but if Bella thought she could yell at me again for something I had no control over, she had another thing coming.

But then her face relaxed. She looked down shaking her head and I heard my new favorite sound in the entire world. Bella was giggling, and then she was laughing and it was contagious. I found myself joining in although I had no idea what was so funny.

Her laughter started to die down and I waited for an explanation for her sudden change in mood.

She sighed and looked up at me with a small smile, "So, _Professor Cullen_. Do Wednesdays work for you?"

* * *

**I never had a hot professor, sad panda :( **

**Make my panda happy (ooh, that sounded dirty *giggle*) and review! **


	11. Chapter 11

**And we're back! Sorry for the delay, RL had me move across the country and I had limited computer time for a while.**

**So many thanks to Jarkin33, my beta extraordinaire. She is wonderful and amazing and I can't love her enough! (we're both on twitter, join the fun, the shit get's crazy)**

**Disclaimer: I own a deluxe Scrabble set, SM owns all things Twilight, all things Twilight own me.**

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**Chapter 11**

**BPOV**

I'm pretty sure I had filled at least three pages, front and back, of doodles in hopes of keeping my eyes anywhere but staring at Edward during class.

Although, it seemed I was the only one. From my seat in the class it was blatantly obvious that the female population's heads were angled away from Professor Banner and more to the left, where my green-eyed god was sitting, enthralled with whatever he was writing.

Fuck he looked good today. Disheveled hair, which I was learning was fairly normal. A navy button down with dark jeans that hung perfectly from his hips. I had only noticed this because I showed up to class ten minutes early so I could stake claim in the back and watch him walk in.

However, I learned that once I trained my brain/body to be in the same room with him without combusting or melting or spontaneously O-facing, that I would really enjoy this class. Banner was spry, a decent lecturer and pretty "with it" for a old man. But then, Edward shifted in his seat giving me an entirely new angle of his jaw to ogle.

I was shuffling down the stairs enjoying the view of Edward getting all flustered when Floozy #1 threw herself at him. That shit was priceless. When she left he managed to drop his stack of papers and I couldn't help but snort. Did everything he do have to be so damn cute?

"Ah, Miss Swan, do you have a moment or do you need to run to another class?" Banner snapped my attention away.

"No, I have time. I don't have my next class until one," I sighed. His expression did not look promising and my stomach started twisting with dread.

"I thought about your proposal from Friday and I've decided to let you perform something else for your final as long as you hold up your end of the bargain to still compose your own piece that you can turn in to me as well. Does that still sound good?"

Sound good?! Fucking great is more like it And I told him so, in not so many words of course, but there was still the matter of choosing what I should play. Mozart? Meh. Bach? Maybe.

"Actually, there is a second condition to this agreement," he paused. "Mr. Cullen! Good, you're still here."

_Oh Universe… you are a WHORE. Of the dirtiest degree._

They had a brief discussion about me as if I wasn't right fucking there and then Banner said Edward was going to be my tutor. _Um, hello? I'm awesome. I don't need a fucking tutor._ But Banner actually stood up for me. My heart swelled at his grandfatherly demeanor; that was nice.

It was not enough to distract me from what felt like an oncoming rage blackout at the Universe, however. Of all the sick twisted soap opera plots… the one guy I'm attracted to in years, I can't have. I convinced myself that nothing was going to happen and had slightly reconciled with it. And now we're being forced to spend time more time with each other in what was sure to be the small confines of a tiny practice room?!

This was outrageous. This was maddening. This was… absolutely fucking hysterical. The irony of it all slapped me in the face and the laughter bubbled out of me and wouldn't stop. I heard Edward join in which only made me laugh harder. There was no way around this apparently. Edward and I were going to be spending some quality time together.

_Universe, I swear on my funsies drawer you better have a plan._

And because I enjoyed the look on his face a little too much last time, I couldn't resist.

"So, _Professor Cullen_. Do Wednesdays work for you?" I asked once my breathing had slowed.

His jaw clenched in the sexiest way possible at my words and my eyes followed his Adam's apple as he swallowed. "Miss Swan, please call me Edward. I'm definitely not a professor." He shook his head while looking down and his hands tugged at his hair. Poker could never be his game.

Another laugh escaped from me. "Sure thing, Edward."

"So you play the piano then?"

"Yep, essentially self-taught, so I'm sure you'll have your hands full with me," I joked, but I don't think he found it that funny. He stiffened and became interested in his shoes again.

"Oh, God. I didn't really mean it, I mean I am self-taught for the most part, but I swear I'm not that bad. I know stuff, this won't be like piano for dummies or anything. I promise," I rambled hoping he wouldn't think I was the slow kid in class whom he would have to suffer though lessons with.

"Miss Swan I'm sure you're quite capable. I think Professor Banner just thinks I might be able to offer some helpful practice tips or something. It sounded like he expects you to learn a complicated piece so I'm fairly certain we won't be going over Chopsticks," he smiled and I think my answering grin stretched off my face.

"If I have to call you Edward, you have to call me Bella, it's only fair. 'Miss Swan' makes me feel like I'm trapped at some snooty Catholic school or something."

"Bella, then." He took a step closer to me. Clearly it wasn't a booze-induced magnetism between us. It was my turn to look down uncomfortably. Composure was key here.

"You never did answer my question. Do Wednesdays work for you? I'm usually at the bar Saturday through Tuesday. I can get my shift changed though if…"

"Wednesdays work fine Bella. I certainly have less going on in my life so we can easily work around your schedule."

I had skillfully been avoiding direct eye contact this entire time knowing what it would do to me. Last time mine locked with his I thought my heart had become nearly audible it was beating so hard. But this time was different. He sounded so forlorn; I had to see for myself if his tone had meaning behind it.

His green eyes were filled with a deep sadness for a brief second before he realized what had been said.

"So, does 5:30 work for you? We can leave it open ended in case there's a lot you want to go over?"

"Sure, that works fi…"

"EDWARD. There you are! I thought your class just ended," a voice said behind me so saccharinely sweet I knew it could only be one person.

_Victoria._

I felt like I had been sucker punched with a sledgehammer.

"Victoria, hi," Edward said while leaning over to peck her on the cheek. "This is,"

"Bella! Of course, we've met a few times," she turned giving me a huge fake smile. My vision had become red and hazy with the immeasurable hatred I felt for her. But of course, I couldn't bitch slap her like I wanted to, girls normally don't fight that way. Verbal battle it would be.

"Hey _Vicky_," I said, knowing she despised the nickname. "Haven't seen you at Wolfe's in a while, new hunt- I mean stomping grounds?"

_Fuckingwhorebitch._

Her eyes narrowed at my purposeful slip. "Nope, just been busy is all… I didn't know you had any musical talent, Bella. Unless they've changed the class since I took it," she sneered and I could feel my insides twisting.

I opened my mouth but before I could say anything Edward jumped in. "Actually, I'm going to be working with Bella this semester on the piece she'll perform at the end of the semester."

"Oh, Edward, you shouldn't have to give remedial lessons. That's putting your talent to waste!"

My face was burning and my mind started to give way to the images pushing at my mental barrier.

_Dark hallway, white wine smashing on the floor, naked limbs entangled with fiery red hair…_

NO. I was better than this.

"Yes, I'm sure he'll get bored in no time, however it was Banner's idea," I crossed my arms bracing myself for the information I was going to ask for. "So how did you two meet?"

_Goddamn man-eater probably stalked him. Ohmygod, what if he was already dating her when we met Thursday? Wait, he just moved here, that can't be right. Focus!_

"Well we just kind of ran into each other Friday night, here actually. And," he was tugging at his hair again, clearly uncomfortable.

"And we've barely been apart since! It's pretty funny actually, Edward _followed_ me thinking he overheard me playing some Beatles song in one of the practice rooms and we just got to talking. Obviously it wasn't me, but we have so much in common anyway," she beamed up at him and I could feel the bile rising up my throat.

I actually had to choke it back when I saw he was smiling back at her.

"Well, that's great," I forced out. I met Edward's eyes and tried to keep my face as stoic as possible. He however looked ashamed? Worried? Maybe a little sad… "I've got to run, but I'll see you Wednesday Edward?" I needed to throw one last dig in at Victoria if I could.

"Sure, Bella. We can just meet at my office and find an open practice room."

I nodded and readjusted my messenger bag readying to leave.

"Bye Bella! I'm sure I'll see you later…" Victoria called. She even had the audacity to give me the fucking cutsie finger wave.

_Fucking cunt._

"Did you say something Bella?" I heard her ask, tone as cold as ice.

Shit! Apparently my inner monologue was not so inner. _Channel Rosalie, channel Rosalie…_

I turned and took a deep breath, knowing that there would probably be no going back with this with Edward.

"Oh, yes I did actually. I. Called you. A FUCKING. CUNT." I did recognize my own voice filled with venom.

_Blue eyes filled with guilt and another pair smug with victory. Red sheets thrown from the bed, flesh… everywhere skin that wasn't mine._

I shook my head to clear the images. Victoria's face was turning a deep shade of purple and Edward's mouth had dropped open with his eyebrows raised in shock. The moment of silence was exactly what I needed to make my escape.

"Oh, and Vicky? I'll tell Rosalie you said hi," I shot back one of her fake smiles and stupid finger waves and bolted from the room but not without catching an extremely satisfying expression of fear on her face first.

Fucking Victoria Larson… this bitchcunt was going to be the death of me.

My boots sloshed through the puddles as I hurried across campus. My eyes blurred with brimming tears over the sheer disbelief at what had just transpired.

Edward was dating Victoria. Victoria played her game again and won. They met on Friday, the day I brushed him off. They _met_ because he was looking for me… That was the realization that had me dry heaving in the bathroom of the student union.

When Victoria said Edward heard someone playing late Friday night it didn't even click that it could have been me until I was already running outside the building. And once my irrational anger subsided I pieced together the bits of information confirming that it _was_ me Edward heard and by the fuckery of the Universe… he ran into _her_ instead.

I ran out of my apartment Friday night needing to get away from the happy coupledom. Jasper and Emmett were as cool as they come but the fifth wheel feeling was inevitable and I had hit my breaking point.

It seemed that a coffee shop run was in order until I remembered the little key to my new safe haven. When I made it to the building I roamed the darkened hallways looking for the perfect spot. I found what I was looking for in the corner of the third floor. All the rooms had little windows so people could see if they were occupied or not, but this one would clearly get less foot traffic. Even close to midnight on a Friday.

But I needed a metronome. Sometimes the constant clicking of the timer would drive me insane, other times, I couldn't keep tempo without it. I had passed a storage room on the way and turned around hoping my master key would grant me access to there as well.

The door clicked open without my key and I immediately tripped over a music stand. And then another one. I shuffled through shelves and shelves of sheet music, guitar picks, reeds, before I finally found the section with spare metronomes. But the room kept going and at the very back was an old upright piano.

I couldn't have pictured a better place if I tried. I tested the notes to see if it was in tune and the Universe was apparently done being cruel for the time being and I sat down to bang out the emotions plaguing me from the day's events.

My fingers ghosted over the keys and I played some of my favorites. But my subconscious had other ideas and the familiar strains of Renee's song echoed in the tiny room.

I had been working on this one for years, and the ending had still never sounded right. The history with my mother was certainly not an easy one and I suppose the majority of what I had written reflected that, but that didn't mean I wanted to end just as dismally. Yet again, the right sound eluded me. I played a few more songs after that and left. I didn't see or hear another soul in the building…

But apparently, I had been putting on a private concert from my cozy storage room.

The bathroom floor felt cool as I sat back and leaned against the stall, my stomach finally unknotting itself.

I accepted a long time ago what had happened between Victoria and me. But that didn't mean I had to be civil to her. Ever. At least I had some backbone today, even if it cost me what might have been a slightly friendly relationship with Edward. And she _clearly_ wouldn't tell him what went down, and he would only get the glossed over version from me if he asked.

It wasn't my place to tell him of my horror story with Victoria, for all I know maybe she had changed from the slutastic whore she use to be.

There was nothing I could do about it now, especially sitting on the floor of a public bathroom. I pulled myself together, rinsed my mouth at the sink and popped a piece of gum in my mouth that had been buried in my bag probably since I bought it. Whatever, it was minty.

I sat through my next class with my stomach now rumbling loudly. My foot was twitching with some sort of nervous energy and the last thing I wanted was to be sitting in some tiny English seminar where it would be painfully obvious if I pulled out my phone and texted Rose and Alice.

They were going to have to meet me at Wolfe's later. That was a given. And I bet Jake would even pour the shots once he heard about my little run in. The minute hand finally hit the six and I bolted out of my seat being even more thankful for my class schedule this semester.

The weather wasn't bad today so I didn't drive my faithful truck to campus. Walking really helped clear my head though. I made it back to our apartment and collapsed on my bed. Emotions began to roll over me and I was hit with a heavy dose of exhaustion. I was awake for less than twelve hours and it felt like it had been days.

The clock told me I did not have time for a nap, and barely had a time for a decent shower, which I sorely needed. Nothing could wash away the day's shitstorm like my awesome pressurized shower. If there was any material thing I loved in this world, it was my bathroom.

I kept it pure white with chocolate brown accents and extremely neat, another reason why I got my own bathroom while Rose and Alice shared. It was modern and had a giant tub/shower combination that I took advantage of as often as I could. And the showerhead was removable, a glorious change of pace from my vibrator when needed.

Alas, now was not the time for that, although if my conversation with Edward after class had remained between the two of us, I would be moaning a different tune. I reached for my shampoo and began vigorously rubbing into my scalp. The last thing I wanted was for some lingering prostitute smell to invade my tresses.

I didn't have to be at work until four, so I took my time painstakingly blow-drying my hair perfectly straight. It almost reached the top of my ass it had gotten so long.

Thank jeebus Jake and Seth didn't require uniforms. Just some form of a black shirt and jeans would suffice so I grabbed my ratty Ramones t-shirt and ridiculously holey jeans off the floor. It was Monday Night Football so no matter what I wore tonight there were going to be enough customers that I would fair well in tips.

Disturbed blasted through my truck's revamped stereo system as I drove to work. It seemed to fit my darkened mood.

**To: Rosalick, Malice**

Cunt-bashing is needed tonight.

Clear schedules. Meet me at Wolfe's.

Margarita Monday is postponed, although I'll provide tequila.

**From: Bizzle**

I texted them as I walked into the bar smiling at their nicknames in my phone. Those had come from our first Margarita Monday when we thought it would be smart to come up with rap names for ourselves that had certain attributes to our drunken personas. Alice tended to get mean, I had a tendency to get in people's business, and Rosalie's was self-explanatory. At least that's what the groaning from her male companions said.

I pushed open the door and inhaled the rich cedar-ish and beer smell of the bar. It had oddly started to smell comforting to me I thought while stashing my stuff under the bar.

Jake came lumbering out of his tiny office in the back.

"Hey Bells, how's it – whoa, what's with the bitch face?"

"Rough fucking day."

He jumped behind the bar and immediately reached for two shot glasses and the bottle of Jack Daniels.

"You only get two of these for now, ok?"

I smiled, "I planned on switching to tequila when Rose and Alice stop by later anyway."

He nodded and poured the soothing brown liquid. We knocked it back in one fell swoop.

"So," he said while refilling. "You hit someone?"

My laugh echoed through room. "No! But I definitely wanted to," I swallowed my shot and took a deep breath. "I had a little run in with Victoria today…"

His eyebrows shot up and he swiftly drained the contents of his glass. "Well, fuck. Here, one more. You clearly need it. Just make sure to eat something on your break. So what happened?"

"Turns out she's dating my professor, well, T.A. for my music composition class. Oh, which, by the way, I have unlimited access to their practice rooms so you, Mister, get your Sundays back," I traced the rim of the tiny glass with my finger.

"Really? Huh, well that will be a change of pace," he smiled. "But just let me know and I'll clear out ok?" He paused processing what I just told him. "So, she's dating your T.A. big deal."

"Yes, asshat. Big deal." I shot him a pointed look and it still didn't register. I sighed, "Remember that guy I was talking to on Thursday? Before you so rudely interrupted us… anyway, he ended up at that party I went to, and, there was _something_ there. Between us, I mean." My voice got really small because I knew Jake would understand the enormity of what I just admitted.

"Shit," he breathed. "Bella, that's huge. But I'm still lost, was he dating her when you guys met?"

Next thing I knew, the whole tale poured out of me. What I called her, how they met, how it was almost me. I told him that part because I knew I was going to leave that portion out when I retold my story to Rose and Alice, mainly because it wouldn't be necessary for them to jump to my aid. Once I mention Victoria they'll automatically rally behind me no matter what.

That was part of the unwritten girl code I loved. I glanced at my phone as the door opened with the first customers of the night.

**To: Bizzle**

With Alice now, we'll be there.

U know I 3 a good cunt-bash.

And tequila. We'll see you around 8?

**From: Rosalick**

**To: Rosalick**

Sounds good, eat before.

Hammeredness will be happening.

**From: Bizzle**

Some sort of game started around five so I was definitely keeping busy refilling pitcher after pitcher. I had been going non-stop for about two hours when Jake slid a huge sandwich my way.

"Take twenty to eat," he commanded.

I saluted him while flicking him off and he just laughed as he took my position behind the bar. As soon as sat down in a booth away from the televisions and propped my feet up, I realized how much I needed a breather.

The sandwich looked fucking delicious and I manhandled it while taking the most unfeminine bite ever. A blissful sigh came out muffled through my nose.

"This seat taken?"

I looked up and started choking on my monster bite. My eyes watered as Edward clapped me on the back and I managed to swallow way too much turkey.

"You ok?"

I nodded as my coughing fit slowed down and reached for my water. He sat down across from me waiting for me to finish. There was an awkward moment of silence, but he approached me, it was his turn and I wasn't budging.

"You know Victoria I take it?"

I nodded.

"Care to explain? Because I'm pretty sure I got the extra euphemized version from her."

"I really don't think it's my place to say any-"

"Bella, please. You don't go around calling someone a 'fucking cunt' unless there's more to it than 'Bella and I just had some conflicts a couple of years ago and she won't let it go,'" he mimicked.

I couldn't help but smirk, I knew that bitch wouldn't come clean. "Well, apparently we both had a thing for the same guy a couple of years ago. He was the hot senior, I was the wide-eyed freshman, and she was the bitter sophomore. To say the least, she won. And that's all you're going to get from me."

His brows lifted a little and I took a peek at his eyes. It was now habit for me to avoid looking directly at them, but this time I couldn't get a good read. I blame the Jack.

"Really," he paused and I gave curt nod. "And what about the Rosalie thing? She looked rather petrified when you mentioned her."

"If you really tried, you can find this on public record, so I don't mind telling you," I snickered. "There was a confrontation of sorts, Rose backed me up. Victoria got a broken nose and black eye and Rose had to take anger management classes."

"Oh shit," he laughed. "Well, at least I understand that part. And now I know there's plenty more that you're not telling me either if Rose punched her for you," he trailed off looking doubtful.

He needed to make up his own mind about her, and I wasn't lying before. A couple of years is a long time and she really could have changed her ways and I couldn't let this petty bullshit drag me down.

"Look, Edward, what happened was a long time ago. You don't need to worry about it. Victoria," I almost gagged on her name, "seems to really like you. This is high school drama shit you shouldn't have to think about, ok?" I lowered my voice and I had the sudden urge to hold his hand that was resting on the table between us.

"Yeah, you just seemed pretty livid. I couldn't _not_ be curious." He began slowly tearing my napkin into little pieces and his long fingers mesmerized me.

I must have been staring because he stopped suddenly, "Oh, sorry, you probably wanted that," he chuckled.

"Don't worry about it, we don't exactly have a short supply of them."

"Right," he looked like he wanted to ask something and then changed his mind. "Well we didn't exactly get to finish our conversation before. I know Wednesdays will work, but I've actually never given lessons or whatever this is before, so I just wanted to make sure we're on the same page."

My body was betraying me. His voice _did_ things to me that I couldn't control. My heart rate sped, my palms were sweaty and I could a feel a blush spreading over my cheeks at the mere mention of being trapped in small room with him for any period of time.

"Sure," I squeaked and took a sip of water to regain control of my voice. "What exactly did you have mind?"

"Well, I figure you could prepare some music that gives me a basic understanding of what kind of level you're on and we can go from there?"

"So basically show you what I can do?" I joked. "Any preferences? You a strictly classical kind of guy or can I mix things up a little?"

"I definitely like to mix things up," he said and my heart must have sounded like a humming bird's. "But knowing Banner, he'll prefer something classical, so we can just stick to that for now."

"Ahem," Jake's hulking body created a shadow over the table and Edward and I leaned away from each other. I was unaware of how close we had been; it must have been the damn magnetism again. Someone needed to hit me to reverse my polarity or something. This was getting to feel a little otherworldly.

"Sorry, Jake. This is Edward Cullen, my T.A. for music comp?" _Don't you dare fucking say_ _anything or give me away so help me Jacob Ephraim Black…_

"Hey man, nice to meet you." They shook hands with some serious force behind it. Stupid boys. "Sorry to interrupt, but Bells? If you're finished, we could use you back up there."

My watch told me my twenty minutes were just about up. "Yeah, I'm done. Sorry about that, I'll be up there in just a minute."

"K, thanks. I'll see you around, Edward."

"Sure, good to meet you too," Edward said.

I stood and inwardly pouted that our time was cut short again. "Ok, well Wednesday then."

He got out of the booth as well, "See you then, Bella," and he gave me that panty-dropping smirk from the other night and I another uncontrollable grin stretched my face.

We walked in the same direction, me to the bar, him to the door, and I almost made it without consequence when I tripped over my own feet. I knew I was going to completely face plant and my arms shot out to brace myself.

My face stopped about a foot away from the floor and I felt a pair of arms holding me around my waist.

_Oh god oh god oh god…_

My heart couldn't beat any faster so I think it just decided to stop. I could feel him laughing behind me though and it was like someone had taken those shocking paddles to my chest, I loved that sound, never mind it was at my expense. Edward set me upright and backed away looking embarrassed.

"Thanks, sometimes I have walking issues," I smiled.

"Sure thing, I've got to run, see you Wednesday." With that he pretty much bolted out the door. What the fuck? I didn't have time to think about that though, Jake was motioning for me and I slid back over the counter.

Rose and Alice were late as usual but perched themselves on "their" stools at the end of the counter and waited for me to finish mixing a round of Jager Bombs around nine.

"Kate, are you good? My shift is winding down and Rose and Alice are here," I checked with my coworker. I didn't want to leave her hanging, but things had slowed considerably.

"No problem, Bella! Have fun, and call a cab if you guys need to," she laughed.

I pulled a bottle of Jose Cuervo from the shelf, three shot glasses, salt, and load of limes, placing the pile in front of my friends.

"Bella, we're fucking dying over here! What the hell happened today?" Alice demanded.

"Seriously, I'm all for drinking free on your tab or whatever, but I miss our blender and drinking in our pj's." Rose said.

"Well brace yourselves ladies," and they simultaneously held on to their glasses. "The bitch is back."

Alice's eyes widened to saucer size and Rosalie's red lips tightened into a straight line.

"Bella, I love you, and we clearly have your back, but I can't go through those classes again," Rose joked.

"Well, get ready to be proud my rage blackout suffering friend," I took a deep breath, "I called Victoria a 'fucking cunt' to her face, and then threatened her bodily harm, via you of course, but it seemed to do the trick."

They looked utterly stunned for about half second and then Alice squealed with delight and Rose slapped her hand on the table and yelled, "IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME!"

We broke into a fit of laughter followed by two shots. I was gnawing on a lime when they finally asked what had led to the now infamous verbal bitch slapping.

I told them everything, including what I told Edward before they arrived.

"Why didn't you tell him the whole story?" Alice whined. "Then he would break up with her and you could swoop in and happy ever after!"

"Several things, it would have come off ridiculously catty and he probably would have believed her over me because he _is_ actually dating her. Two, I didn't really want to get into all that since we've been around each other all of four times now, and three, I'd rather him find out on his own. And four…"

"Ok ok, we get it! But still, I mean you were going to fucking surprise him with dinner and finally sleep together. You get to James' place and find him plowing Victoria? For fuck's sake Bella, that shit is hard to make up," Rose added.

I grimaced at her a quick summary, nonetheless, the majority of it was true. What she left out though was that James and I did try to have sex once before. I freaked on him and started having a panic attack because apparently I'm a bit more of a basket case then I had let on.

He said he understood and a couple of weeks later I was ready to try again. I had it all planned out too. I was going to make him dinner and just try to relax into the whole situation. I was such a fool…

James said he was working on a huge paper all night and I used his spare key to let myself in. I was walking back to his room and going to surprise him with some wine but when I opened the door I saw _them._

Her flaming hair was swaying back and forth as she rode him and my stomach heaved at the visual. I remembered my second out of body experience very well – I hurled the bottle of wine against the far wall, which scared the shit out of both of them.

Two pairs of blue eyes stared at me and she looked incredibly smug while he looked, well, like he got caught. The rest was a blur of naked scrambling limbs, tears, screaming, fake apologies and kneeing James in his family jewels.

Victoria's turn came the very next night when I was drunken mess at Wolfe's and Rose, Alice and vodka were doing their best to console me. The bitch had the audacity to approach us and started yammering about how I was the crazy one and all I could do was slur obscenities at her. I vaguely remember Rosalie calmly standing up and telling Victoria she needed to leave. She refused and next thing I knew, Rose had pummeled her face in.

One jab to the nose and a right hook to her eye, it was a thing of beauty if I do say so myself. Victoria was wailing like a banshee of course and there was blood pouring out of her nose. My inner cave woman was jumping up and down waving her club.

I never saw James after that. I ignored his calls, e-mails, gifts and tickets to the symphony. Eventually he got the message, but somehow Victoria remained dense, or just plain evil. Someone filled me in that she and James dated for a while actually, but I always saw her, at least once week, at the bar picking up men and if it was possible I hated her even more for doing that to him.

She must have so many STD's at this point I wondered if she just hands guys penicillin as they walk out the door.

I shared that thought which led to another round of shots cheersing to the drug and the poor souls who had suffered from her diseased hoo-hah. We were all completely smashed at this point.

"Fuck you guys, I'm wasted. How'd you get here?"

"Shit, we didn't even think. We drove too. Cab it? Get cars in the morning?" Rose slurred. Despite her height, Rose was actually the lightweight of the group, which we endlessly mocked her for.

"Nuh uh, better idea." Alice pulls out her cell phone. "Jaaaazzz, it's Alice. Can you and two of your friends do me a HUGE favor?" She was moaning into the phone and there was no way in hell anything with a penis was going to say no.

"Taken care of! Jasper and two of his friends will be here to drive us and our cars home in ten minutes!' She fist pumped at her victory and promptly fell off her stool. Rose and I had tears streaming down our face and I had to sit on the floor behind the bar because my legs were going to give out from laughing so hard.

We managed to squeeze in another round before our knights in shiny car metal arrived. I saw his hair from the door.

_Seriously Universe, you and I are going to have it out one of these days._

"Why hello drunken damsels!" Emmett greeted us. "Who's car do I get to drive?" He clapped his hands together and rubbed them excitingly. I was doing my best to keep my drunken mouth shut and not gawk at Edward in his undershirt and jeans.

"Your s'not touching my car, bitch," Rose garbled.

"Aww baby, come on, pleeeease?" What guy wouldn't want to drive Rose's tricked out Mercedes? "You know what? You're wasted, you called us. YOU don't get a say, I'm driving your drunk ass home and there's nothing you can do about it," he taunted her and grabbed her purse, stealing her keys.

She lunged for him, he picked her up and slung her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"Uggghh!! Put me down you fucking ogre! I can walk!" She screeched. We were causing a scene but it was just too damn funny to care.

"Play nice, Drunkella, or no dick for you." Pretty much the whole bar erupted with laughter at that one.

"Jazz? You take Alice in my jeep and Edward you can drive Bella's car," he suggested and as he turned to walk out the door he swatted her ass eliciting another high-pitched shriek.

Jasper sighed and smiled at the tiny mess before him, "Let's go my little drunkard." He cradled her and walked out and I think she was already in her tequila coma.

"So, you ready to go?" Edward asked and I swayed on my feet from the combination of alcohol and his gaze.

"Yeah, jusneeed to grab m' shit." _Oh hey speech impediment, thanks for showing up._

He nodded and waited with his crossed across his chest. His broad, defined chest… shit. Drunk Bella was a horny Bella, at least around him, I was going to need to keep my mouth shut.

"Bella, you got a ride?" Jake appeared out of nowhere and I nodded pointing to Edward.

"You're driving her truck?" Edward indicated he would be. "Make sure you double pump the clutch on that thing, it's fucking ancient," he laughed. "Bells, drink some water before you go to bed, ok? And I'll see you tomorrow."

I simply nodded and waved as Edward followed me out to my truck. I dropped my keys in his out held hand.

"Jesus Christ, he wasn't kidding, was he?"

"About what?"

"You're truck is fucking old," he chuckled.

"Don't make Stella stall on you. She can hear you, you know."

"Stella? Hmm, I like it," he opened my door for me. "After you."

I nearly fell in and struggled to adjust myself before he climbed in. He had just showered too and I was assaulted with fresh sandalwood and soap. I took a deep breath and allowed myself to swim in his scent. My breathing sped when I watched his fingers move over the gearshift but my brain was jerked back by my stereo that was left on at a deafening level.

"Ah shit! Sorry!" I scrambled to turn it down and select something a little mellower. Adele's raspy voice soon filled the cabin.

"Who is this?" he asked.

"Adele. She's fucking great, and then she got mainstreamed." I always hate when an artist I like blows up over night and everyone jumps on the same fucking bandwagon.

"I hate it when that happens too," he said.

I didn't want to say anything more. The moment had turned extremely peaceful and I rolled my window down.

_I keep on trying, I'm fighting these feelings away, but the more I do the crazier I turn into… _

And the award for fitting lyrics goes to…

We pulled up to my building behind Emmett's jeep and Edward turned off the engine and handed me my keys. I slid out and walked toward the hood of my car.

"Thanks for doing this. When Alice said Jasper was bringing two friends I didn't know…" I fumbled with my keys as I trailed off.

"Don't worry about it, really. It was my pleasure."

"Ok, well really, thanks again and I'll see you Wednesday."

"Goodnight, Bella," he gave me a soft smile.

"Goodnight, Edward."

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**Thanks for reading! Reviews are so appreciated! And to everyone adding me on alerts and their favorites list, there are no words to express my gratitude.**

**Special shout out to my Team Mens Rea ladies, you know who you are. I give you all super huge squishy hugs :) And if you haven't read Mens Rea: A Guilty Mind by forbidden-fruit81 you are missing out. For realz. Go forth and read! **


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hi all! Welcome back! I know it's been far too long! I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has stuck with me and for all you new readers, I really hope you enjoy!**

**Shout-out to my most spectacular beta, Jarkin33! She is an amazing person.**

**Someone asked me in a review why I titled this story the way did and I wanted to give a quick explanation. In most stories I've read, characters seem to wear their hearts on their sleeves, and are quick to give into their emotions. Personally, I don't think that's how most humans operate. We hide behind sarcasm, false, tough personas (i.e. "masks") that we want others to see. So I wanted to explore that a little more, hence the title :)**

**Disclaimer: I own a giant stuffed teddy bear called Miss Joe, SM owns all Twilight, all Twilight owns me.**

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**Chapter 12**

**EPOV**

My head was throbbing. Well, it should be considering an ice pick was plunged into my frontal lobe. Oh wait, that would have felt _better_ than the overload of information my brain was trying to process causing said headache.

"_I. Called you. A FUCKING. CUNT," _Bella's voice played over and over again in my head.

The anger was seeping out of her, a force of nature no one would reckon with. I could almost feel her blood boiling and wanted to recoil from the daggers in her eyes.

Girl fighting was so much more covert than guys. Words with no apparent malice were taken as verbal slapping and hair pulling. Seemingly nice gestures said, "Fuck off."

When I confronted Victoria about it after, I knew the explanation she gave me was ridiculously half-assed. But part of me wanted to believe her. The other eighty percent told me to find out more.

The Bella I knew, who was I kidding – I barely knew her at all, but I wanted to believe I did, seemed so laid back. The outburst of animosity sent me reeling. Her face flushed and tiny little fists clenched at her sides. She was so small and I know her fury was real but sweet lord in heaven when 'cunt' slipped out of those little pink lips my cock twitched.

I listened to Victoria apologize until she had her next class and left me sitting with my thoughts in my office. What had really happened between them? Did I actually care? Did I trust Victoria enough to take what she said at face value? Why did seeing Bella so pissed off turn me on?

My car sat in the parking lot but as I reached in my pocket for my keys, I knew I needed some form of exertion. I walked back to my house under the waning sunlight. It was going to rain later and I wanted to get a run in before the bottom opened up. My tennis shoes were shoved in the back of my closet and I knew that this was going to hurt a little.

I use to be an avid runner because sitting at a piano for hours on end, wasn't exactly conducive to staying in shape and playing team sports never really interested me. I got a little too overzealous. Believe it or not, I was more competitive than Emmett. He was much more good-natured about losing, if he ever did.

Once my shoes were laced I was out the door and about five minutes in I was already breathing hard. My hermit year had done nothing for my health, but the burn felt good. I absorbed the heat remaining from summer and relished in the sweat trickling down my back.

The neighborhood was beautiful. I loved my time in Chicago but I missed the green of Seattle. The smell was more nature-esque than the cold cement of the city. I hit my stride and the pounding of my feet soothed me into a trance where the outside world ceased to exist.

I wound my way through the familiar paths of the sprawling campus and thought back to my years here. I was such a snotty little shit. I focused so much on my music I rarely took advantage of the collegiate experience. Thankfully Emmett was around to make sure I wasn't a complete waste of space.

For him and Jasper I was the ideal wingman and sometimes it worked in my favor too. Once Emmett had staked claim on the floozies, it was usually between Jasper and me to sift through the remains. If possible, I think Jasper was even pickier than me, so I had my fill of trysts. Even the occasional short-lived relationship. But music was such a big part of my life I didn't really want to focus on anything else. Then, whatever girl hung around long enough to find that out, led to the inevitable break-up.

My foot slammed into a giant puddle splattering me with chilled water and shaking me out of my memories. I glanced to see where my feet had taken me and discovered I was almost at the opposite end of campus from where I started. My Audi was still sitting in the lot from class and I jogged the rest of the way there just as the rain started to fall again.

Once I was back at my house my restless feelings had subsided nicely. The confusion was no longer clouding my every thought.

I liked Victoria. She might have a past, but so did I. The last thing I wanted was her judging me for mine so despite a nagging little pull in my gut, I knew I was going to give her the benefit of the doubt. Shit, we barely knew each other anyway, and I really liked what I knew about her so far.

I grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and drifted toward my music room. The shades were open and I watched the rain filter through the trees. Movement from the window across the street caught my attention.

The curtains weren't drawn this time and my breath caught in my chest as I saw a veil of dark brown hair swirl over her back.

_Bella's very NAKED back. _

I felt myself swallow and for the life of me I couldn't look away. My dick twitched as my eyes trailed down her torso. Her hair stopped right before the swell of her ass, barely clad in light green boy shorts.

She bent over and I felt my not-so-restrictive gym shorts tighten. Fucking Christ Bella had a hot ass. I watched as she pulled on a pair of jeans and walked away from my view. Inwardly I whined like a child who had its toy stolen, but my frustration was short-lived as she reappeared.

Bella had put on a black bra and adjusted her luscious tits before covering them with a t-shirt. I knew this was wrong on several levels but fuck me I did _not_ want to be right. She turned away from the window again and I watched the light go off in her room.

I went to my living room replaying every curve I could remember and getting harder by the second. I pictured myself running my fingers through her hair, down to her bitable ass and squeezing those perfect cheeks.

My dick couldn't take anymore and I practically ran to the shower. I needed one anyway after my run. By the time I stood under the hot water I was fucking throbbing. Real life images and fantasy Bella were swirling together and I gripped myself hard, hissing at the contact.

Her flushed, angry face from this afternoon surfaced in my mind. It was sexy as hell and I imagined it would look the same during angry makeup sex. Biting… swearing… grabbing her ass as I pushed into her…

I came hard as her name slipped through my lips. The post-cumming bliss was brief however as the understanding of what I just did crashed down upon me. It was one thing when she was just the hot bartender who I dreamt about fucking. It was an entirely different thing when I was potentially involved with someone else and jerking off to one of my students. Not to mention still carrying a full load of guilt and baggage from my last relationship.

_Jesus I'm fucked up._

And I was still morbidly curious as to what happened between Bella and Victoria. The run-in with that guy at the restaurant sparked my curiosity and now on top of this shit? I really wanted to know what the fuck was going on. After being kept in the dark for so long about Tanya, granted that was different situation all together, I needed to have this shit on the table from the beginning.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I was out the door on my way to see Bella. She said she worked Monday's and assumed that's where she would be.

I doubt she would tell me the entire story, but any insight she would give me would be welcome.

When I walked through the door I scanned the darkened room and spotted her immediately. She was wolfing down a sandwich as big her head and as I approached she let out a happy little sigh and I chuckled at the beauty before me.

"This seat taken?" I asked.

She must not have seen me coming and her surprise led to her choking on that enormous bite.

"You ok?" My hand moved on it's own to lightly tap her between her shoulder blades and she gave me the 'a-okay' sign once her coughing slowed. I sat down across from her in the booth and debated how to go about this.

"You know Victoria I take it?" She nodded. "Care to explain? Because I'm pretty sure I got the extra euphemized version from her."

She tried to brush it off, but my mind was set. "Bella, please. You don't go around calling someone a 'fucking cunt' unless there's more to it than 'Bella and I just had some conflicts a couple of years ago and she won't let it go."

Victoria had glossed over the story-telling part this afternoon and focused on behaving so rudely to Bella in front of me.

"Well, apparently we both had a thing for the same guy a couple of years ago. He was the hot senior, I was the wide-eyed freshman, and she was the bitter sophomore. To say the least, she won. And that's all you're going to get from me."

That was certainly a lot more detail than Victoria gave me, and it was still a load of bullshit. But it gave me clues to work with, or at least hold on to. So maybe Bella was just bitter over the fact she lost a guy?

"Really?" She grimaced and nodded.

That was legit I suppose… but she had said something about Rosalie that made Victoria look like she'd seen a ghost.

"And what about the Rosalie thing? She looked rather petrified when you mentioned her."

A mischievous glint passed through her eyes. "If you really tried, you can find this on public record, so I don't mind telling you," she laughed. "There was a confrontation of sorts, Rose backed me up. Victoria got a broken nose and black eye and Rose had to take anger management classes."

THAT I wasn't expecting. "Oh shit," and I couldn't stop myself from laughing. "Well, at least I understand that part. And now I know there's plenty more that you're not telling me either if Rose punched her for you," I needed to push her, see if she would relent in telling me anything more.

Instead, her face softened as she told me not to concern myself with it. That Victoria really liked me. I couldn't _not_ be curious though, and I told her as much. I was fidgety and started tearing her napkin into little pieces and Bella stared at me.

I quickly remembered we didn't finish our conversation from before and jumped on that to relieve the tension. Despite whatever was going on outside the classroom, Bella and I were going to be working together.

I had no clue what kind of level she was on and tried to think of a good way for her to demonstrate without sounding like a snob, but she totally caught me.

"So basically show you what I can do?" she smirked. "Any preferences? You a strictly classical kind of guy or can I mix things up a little?"

Truthfully, when it came to piano, I loved all things classical but I had a healthy respect for anything outside the traditional "box." And something told me that so did Bella.

"I definitely like to mix things up," and I was shocked by the innuendo that seemed to be dripping from my voice. "But knowing Banner, he'll prefer something classical, so we can just stick to that for now."

A throat cleared above us and Vin Diesel-with-hair was back. It was clear Bella didn't like him but the obnoxiously overprotective vibe he gave off make his intentions clear.

Bella introduced me and as we shook hands I matched his grip, both of us refusing to show any strain. _Jake_, I still preferred Vin Diesel with hair, told her that her time was almost up and I felt bad for interrupting her break.

I got ready to leave and we confirmed meeting on Wednesday. The fact that I would be spending at least a solid hour of uninterrupted time with Bella made me downright giddy and I felt an uncontrollable smile on my face.

She walked back to the bar and I saw her stumble. When it was clear she was going down, I reached out for her my arms clasping around her waist to keep her from face-planting.

Bella was bent over at the waist and her ass immediately pushed back against me.

_Instant hard on. Fanfuckingtastic._

It literally looked like I was trying to fuck her from behind in the middle of the bar. Not to mention there was a huge slit in her jeans right under her left ass cheek exposing the smoothest skin I'd ever seen. One quick move and my hand would be cupping that sweet ass and stroking the underwear that had tormented me earlier.

I played off my dirty fantasies by laughing at her clumsiness and quickly moved her away from growing erection.

"Thanks, sometimes I have walking issues," she turned and looked embarrassed.

If anyone should feel that way it was me and my tight pants. I had to get out of there. "Sure thing, I've got to run, see you Wednesday," I stammered and hustled out of the bar.

It was like my libido had come out of hibernation. It was snarling and roaming around looking for it's first meal and Bella was the damn prey that kept taunting me then running away.

I shoved my key in the ignition and peeled out of the parking lot, the faster I could leave the better.

I made it home in record time and was pacing through the kitchen actually tallying the total time it had been since I had last gotten some. Too fucking long was the answer to that depressing question.

A knock at the door distracted me from the proverbial ledge I was considering jumping off.

I opened it to find Victoria standing there. My dick was fist-pumping.

"Hi, Edward. I hope you don't mind that I stopped by. I just didn't like the way we left things earlier and I wanted to make sure everything was-"

"Victoria, don't worry about it. Whatever happened between you and Bella is none of my concern." I decided I was going to do my best to take Bella's advice. I could sure as hell use the distraction and my already semi-hard cock applauded my new resolve. "And it's in the past so I'd rather not focus on it, ok?"

She tucked a red curl behind her ear. "That sounds great," she sighed with relief.

"You want to come in? I was going to make some dinner…"

"Sure, although, I have to warn you, I'm completely inept in the kitchen. Peanut butter and jelly is about as far as my culinary skills go."

I smiled in triumph. "Well, have no fear. I'm an excellent cook." I gestured her inside.

Thirty minutes later we were sitting at my island counter, seeing as how I didn't have a dining room table, and my dick was screaming at me to attack her.

"Mmm, Edward you weren't kidding. That was so good." She licked her fork clean and my cock twitched. "But since you cooked, I've got the dishes. Don't fight me on it," she smirked.

She gathered our plates and moved to the sink. I couldn't fucking take it anymore. My brain was screaming no, my heart shrank into the corner like a goddamn coward, and my dick won the argument.

I walked up behind her, grabbed her hips and turned her toward me.

"Edward, what," I cut her off with my lips and pushed her against the edge of the sink. My dick hummed in contentment with the friction. At least one part of me could enjoy this.

She responded immediately, grabbing my shoulders and pulling my head closer to hers. Her mouth opened giving me access as we made out like teenagers in my kitchen. The taste of leftover wine mingled in our mouths as I ran my hands through her mess of flaming curls.

Victoria hummed into my mouth. Generally, when a girl made those noises with me, my chest would swell with pride, but she sounded too practiced or something and the noise grated my nerves.

But my cock wasn't having any of that. Before I knew it we were on my couch, the dishes forgotten, and groping each other.

She straddled me and I could feel her heat radiating on my cock and it felt good just… not great. I could see where my train of thought was going and subconsciously I knew I should stop it. My subconscious did not win.

I shut my eyes, imagining it was Bella on top of me. Bella's chocolate hair tickling my face. Bella's noises. Bella's pussy grinding into me.

My dick grew at the thought, eliciting another annoying moan from Victoria.

_Fuck you traitor,_ I told my hard on.

Mentally, I was hovering around forty-five percent of myself enjoying this. Fuck, I'm a guy after all, and Victoria knew what she was doing.

My shirt was pulled from my body as her fake nails raked down my chest and my hands moved of their volition up her back.

"Mmm, Edward," she moaned, and it literally did nothing for me. I grunted back out of obligation and she reached for my zipper. A warning siren went off in my head and I stopped her hand.

"Victoria, I know I'm going to come across as such a girl right now, but, um, can we wait just a little, for that?"

Her eyes widened as she took in my words, as a slow smile spread across her face. "God your sweet," she leaned in kissing me again. "Of course we can wait."

She trailed her fingers down my arms, kissing my neck.

"Oh, good," I choked out. "I'd just rather be a little more," I searched for the right word, "Exclusive."

I felt her tense momentarily at the word but she pushed me down on the couch, and continued writhing on top of me. She tugged her shirt off, revealing a fire-engine-red bra that clashed harshly with her skin, but fuck that. Her breasts were a lot bigger than her clothes led on and my inner fifteen year-old just about jizzed himself, fake tits or not, which they so were.

I had no clue how long we had been essentially dry humping on my couch, but I was kissing down her neck on autopilot when my phone rang on the table. Normally I would have ignored it, but it was getting late and could have been something important.

_Jazz?_

"Sorry, it's my friend Jasper, he might need something," I said while sliding out from under her. Victoria sat up, straightening herself and leaned back against the cushions twirling her hair waiting for me to finish.

I shook my head chuckling and answered the phone. "Hey man, is everything ok?"

"E, I got a huge favor to ask man. Alice just called me. She's completely trashed and stuck at Wolfe's because Rosalie drove her there. And now the two of them and Bella are completely wasted too, and need a ride…" he trailed off.

I could see Bella again? My dick twitched. "Yeah, that's cool," I said trying to keep it vague in front of Victoria. Fucking Christ, I had a half naked hot woman sitting right in front of me and I could barely appreciate the view.

"Ugh, thanks, I owe you. She was all fucking moany on the phone and,"

"Jazz, just, tell me when you get here ok?"

He laughed, "Yeah sure, oh and Emmett is coming too, so we only have to make one trip to get their cars. We'll be there in fifteen-ish?"

"Yeah, sounds good. See you then," I ended the call. "Victoria, I'm so sorry, Jasper's freaking over something and needs some guy time," I took her hand in mine, kissing her fingers, fuck it, I know when to be charming. "Can we please pick this up later?"

"Of course, baby." She leaned in, pecking me on the lips. "You can count on it."

She grabbed her bra and her shirt, putting herself together, before walking to the door.

"Thanks for dinner, Edward. I'm really glad I stopped by tonight," she smiled, pushing her curls behind her shoulder.

I cupped her face. "Me too, I'll call you, ok?"

She nodded, "I'm sure I'll see you around school."

Victoria waved as I watched her walk to her car, and I shut the door, releasing a deep sigh. I ran my hands over my face and through my hair. I had no clue what I was doing.

But I did know I didn't want to see Bella reeking of another woman, whom she apparently loathed. I jumped in the shower again, scrubbing my skin raw and was pulling on a t-shirt when I heard a loud knocking.

I yanked open the door to find a sheepish-looking Jasper. "So I take it you guys haven't slept together yet?"

He punched me hard in the shoulder, typical. "Fuck you. So what? I happen to like this one. The least I can do is pick her drunk ass up."

"Where's Emmett?"

"Waiting in his car, he picked me up first. You ready?"

"Yeah. Let's go make nice so you can get laid," I said while pinching his cheek like a grandmother. I had to keep fucking with him so my real excitement wouldn't be so obvious.

"Let's go, bitches!" Emmett shouted from the car.

We climbed in the car and got to the bar what felt like seconds later. Emmett sauntered in and immediately started goading Rosalie. I couldn't help but stare at Bella in her ratty t-shirt with a glazed-over look I recognized. She was hammered and I almost felt a little smug for being able to help her out but I wiped that quickly from my face when she turned to look at me.

I zoned out staring at her, watching her eyes crinkle at Rose and Emmett's antics and cackling loud when he picked her up. The fire that radiated from her was so warm and full of life it didn't seem possible.

Someone determined that I would be driving Bella's car home, which I was ecstatic about, but managed to hide it quite well. I would have to get used to being around her without grinning like a fool.

I walked up to her as she was wiping down the bar and asked if she was ready to leave. She mumbled something and reached for her things so I assumed that was a yes.

Then _Jake_ had to play the concerned friend and shit.

_I can fucking handle her car, asshole. Now go away._

So when we walked outside, I was mildly prepared for some model from the late 80's… not a monster that should have been sitting on blocks in a museum.

She handed me her keys and I told her so, in not so many words.

"Don't make Stella stall on you. She can hear you, you know."

She fucking named her truck. My dick whimpered. "Stella? Hmm, I like it." Brown eyes widened at me as I opened the door for her, had a guy never done that for her? Assholes.

When I cranked the engine, it sputtered for a few seconds before finally turning and deafening rock music nearly burst my eardrums. I did not expect her to like that kind of stuff and I stored that bit of information into my small, but hopefully growing, Bella File.

The iPod clicking noise swirled around for a few seconds before a raspy, mellow voice I didn't recognize surrounded us.

"Who is this?"

"Adele. She's fucking great, and then she got mainstreamed."

I could hear the disappointment in her voice and automatically knew what she meant.

"I hate it when that happens too," I said.

After that we slipped into a comfortable silence. Bella gazed out the window and I used the opportunity to stare at her as much as I could. She tucked her hair behind her ears a lot, even if it didn't need it, but that allowed me to notice the three piercings she had in her left ear. There was a little mole on her left wrist. And her damn hair with that damn smell… I was determined to figure it out.

I pulled up behind Jasper, got out and handed her the keys. I didn't make a move to leave, I didn't feel comfortable letting her know I only lived right across the street.

"Thanks for doing this. When Alice said Jasper was bringing two friends I didn't know…"

"Don't worry about it, really. It was my pleasure." _No, really. _

"Ok, well really, thanks again and I'll see you Wednesday."

"Goodnight, Bella." My outward calm reflected nothing of the inner battle going on inside my head. I wanted to kiss her, I couldn't kiss her, she didn't want that, did I care? I was dating Victoria, screw that, all I had to do was reach…

"Goodnight, Edward."

I watched her walk toward her building before stopping and grabbing Rosalie away from Emmett and dragging her to the door.

"Fuck off Em, she's wasted, you can call her tomorrow," she yelled.

"But Bells!" he whined, but he knew he was going to lose since the door slammed in his face.

I couldn't help but chuckle at the balls on her. Not many women would dare tell Emmett to fuck off. Jasper came out of the building shortly after, having beaten us here because I swear the beast didn't go over thirty miles an hour.

"Hey guys, thanks for helping out," he said.

Emmett clapped him on the shoulder. "Sure thing, Jazz. Rose is being a little tease anyway, I figure I could make nice," he laughed. "Oh, E, you want to meet up with us Wednesday afternoon for some basketball? There's a group of guys we usually meet up with at the school's gym…"

"I can't actually. I have my first tutoring session or whatever… with Bella."

Jasper cracked up, "Oh man, that poor girl. Just don't be too hard on her, dude."

"What the fuck is that suppose to mean?"

"You're a complete ass when it comes to music, especially how others play."

"No I'm,"

"Don't even try to deny it. Just accept it, and try not make Bella cry," Jasper said.

Emmett looked thoughtful for a moment. "Jazz, I don't think Bella's the crying type. Short stack has a bit of an edge to her. She might just punch E if he's a dick to her."

"You guys are douches. I'm NOT that bad."

They shot each other knowing looks and I felt my blood boiling. Just because I trained with some of the best and had more talent than most pianists in my pinky finger, didn't mean I was complete ass about it, did it? And where the FUCK did Emmett get off knowing that kind of shit about Bella? Short stack? He already had a nickname for her?

"Ok, well I'm going drop this bitch at home," Emmett said pointing at Jasper. "We'll catch you later this week?"

I nodded, "Night, guys."

Before I trudged across the street, I made sure the windows were clear in Bella's apartment. I don't know why I didn't want her knowing that I lived right across from the street her yet, it just seemed a little weird.

Tuesday passed without any major consequence. I didn't see Bella, but damn if I didn't try. I wasn't even conscious I was doing it, until I found myself roaming the halls of the music building.

Then I realized I didn't know shit about the girl. Christ, Emmett knew more about her than I did. I didn't even know her major, which hit me once I realized she had to get signed off to get in music comp anyway. Of course she wouldn't be in the building. She probably had other classes.

Victoria stopped by my house again, and granted the company was nice just so I didn't feel like such a loner, but my head was just not in the right place. Well, my head above my shoulders.

She was a woman who new what she wanted. And apparently she wanted my dick in her mouth.

It had been so long since I had felt anything like this I almost came when she first took me in. But I couldn't focus on the sensation, oh no. That would have been too easy.

Being the fucking ridiculous basket case that I was, I concentrated on the cheesy porn noises coming from her throat that grated on my nerves. Or the way she moved almost too fast for me to really enjoy it. And the way her curls almost crunched under my fingers when I tried to slow her down… blech, too much gel.

And to add to the fuckery that was my thought process, I only came because I thought of Bella. And I came hard. Bless Victoria for swallowing because that was always hot no matter what, but it gave her endless encouragement that I wasn't sure I wanted to give.

Wednesday morning, Bella didn't even look at me during class. The only words we exchanged were confirming the time for her lesson.

By the time mid-afternoon rolled around I was a ball of nerves. What Jasper and Emmett said the other night was really starting to get to me. The last thing I wanted to do was be a complete ass to Bella.

I think what was pissing me off though was that they were probably right. It wasn't the first time people had told me that I could be a real prick when it came to music. Sorry if I wanted the whole package, but I looked for the real deal. Technique, flow, passion, performance… it was all part of what makes up the musician. You could be great technically speaking, but if you didn't like what you were playing it was painfully obvious.

The silence of my house had become deafening and it was getting close to five o'clock anyway so I drove back to campus.

My feet felt like lead when I walked up the stairs, but my heart was beating out of my chest. I really needed to calm the fuck down before I had an anxiety attack or some shit.

_This is ridiculous. It's just a girl. It's just a lesson. ONLY look at her as a student._

I chanted to myself over and over until I reached my office, expecting I would be waiting for Bella for the next half hour.

She had other plans.

Bella was sitting against my office door with a giant sweatshirt wrapped over her knees. I could see a little white cord leading up to her ears. She rocked back and forth with her eyes closed, her lips moving every once in a while to the music.

Again she captivated me. She never seemed to have a care in the world.

I stood there watching her because I couldn't bring myself to interrupt such a peaceful moment.

"It's rude to stare, Cullen."

Her voice startled me so bad I stumbled back a little. And Cullen? Where did that come from? Fuck it. It was hot. Anything she called me turned me on.

"Sorry, I'm um," there was no way out of this one, even though I had NO clue how she knew it was me. "Just sorry."

She opened her eyes and stared me down, but then gave me a tiny smile. "No worries," she shrugged. "You ready? Or did you need something in your office?"

"No. Let's go. Were you waiting long? I thought we said five-thirty?"

Bella bent to pick up her bag and I turned the other direction so I wouldn't blatantly stare at her ass. "No, I just had some stuff to take care of around campus so it didn't make sense to go home."

She adjusted her messenger bag before walking down the hall. I followed her blindly assuming she knew where she wanted to go.

Bella led us to the last practice room on this side of the building.

"Do you mind? Less foot traffic and all. I'm kind of private about playing."

"No, not all. I'm only here to help you. You know, if you need it," I corrected.

"Well, maybe I'll get to hear you play a little too. Give us little folk something to aspire to," she smirked and plopped her bag on the ground next to the piano.

I huffed. "Maybe. Why don't we just start with you though?"

She nodded at me and though her expression was nonchalant, she was wringing her hands together. Bella reached into her bag and I thought she was going to pull out some sheet music, instead, out came a huge bag of Blow Pops.

The wrappers made a crinkling noise as she dug through it until she pulled out a cherry-flavored one.

I must have looked quite confused because as soon as Bella looked up she said, "Oh um, habit? I have to practice with a cherry Blow Pop. You want? Just don't take a cherry." She held out the bag, shaking it in front of me.

"Umm, no. Bella, I don't mean to be critical but how can you focus with that," I pointed at the now sexiest lollipop ever, "In your mouth…"

She shrugged, unfazed. "It's a comfort thing, get over it."

Jesus fucking Christ. The absolute last thing I needed was to watch as she swirled her tongue around a goddamn lollipop. "Bella, I'm going to have to insist while we're in here that you not,"

Her eyes blazed, "Look, Cullen. I'm not big on playing in front of people, ok? So can you just deal with my idiosyncrasies for now? And once we get the hang of this, I'll work on it. Deal?"

"Deal," I swallowed hard. Fuck she had a temper. I attempted to discreetly adjust myself.

She nodded at me and then turned on the bench to face the piano. Bella rolled her neck and cracked her fingers readying herself to play.

The anticipation was damn near killing me. Her tiny hands rested on the keys and she took a deep breath.

Chopin's Nocturne in E Flat Major sprung from her fingertips. I watched her closely, looking for anything I could pick up on that I could help her with.

Her posture was terrible. We would definitely have to work on that. The finger positioning was decent, but could use work. I had a feeling she readjusted the proper positioning to make up for her lack of hand span.

She couldn't help that her hands were so tiny, but she played like they weren't. Bella stumbled a couple of times, but pushed through, I assumed mostly because of nerves.

When she was finished, she looked at me sheepishly. "I'm sorry, I'm normally better. I'm just super nervous. I wasn't kidding when I said I'm not use to playing in front of people."

I simply nodded, still processing the best way to help her relax. I was never going to get an accurate read on her talent if she wasn't able to play in front of me.

I moved my chair right next to the bench and she let out a little gasp. "Bella, you need to relax. I don't know why you never play for anyone, because you've definitely got talent, ok? So no more putting yourself down while we're in here."

She met my eyes and gave me a nearly imperceptible nod while sucking on that god forsaken Blow Pop. Her lips had turned a candy red and I knew she would taste infuckingcredible if I kissed her.

_Fuck you Jasper and Emmett. I can too be nice. Maybe it's only because I'm imagining that's my dick in her mouth, but still._

"Ok, forget whatever else you prepared," I said and she looked at me like I had gone crazy. "Trust me. And just think of one of your favorite pieces to play. I don't care about the difficulty level. You need to feel comfortable playing in front of me and you won't be able to do that if you're focusing too hard on the notes."

Bella twirled the lollipop stick between her fingers and I could hear her tongue working over the piece of candy. _Fuck. Me._

"Got it."

I cleared my throat, "Let's hear it then."

"Mmm, one sec," she mumbled and I heard a distinctive crunching noise of hard candy being chewed. Bella pulled the masticated candy from her mouth, leaving the gum on the stick. God this girl was odd.

She caught me staring again and shrugged, "Love the candy, hate the gum," she said while disposing of the trash.

Her hands hovered above the keys again as she took another deep breath. Claude Debussy's Claire De Lune engulfed us in the tiny space and my airway temporarily closed off.

Of course Bella chose one of my all time favorite songs to play. Granted it wasn't that high on the difficulty scale, but something about it… transcended me. I could already tell she was more relaxed, but now there was a fire now brewing just under the surface. Her body swayed with the music now as the crescendos built and flowed.

Bella nailed the chords, which was great because they required an extensive hand span. I watched her fingers traveling up and down the instrument, noticing how she adjusted her finger placement again, but it was clear this time around how much more confident she was.

Her posture however, was so utterly dreadful I couldn't stand it anymore. Before I realized what I was doing, I had taken my pointer finger and poked her in between her shoulder blades making her chest pop out and sit up straight.

She started and stopped playing. "Um, what are you doing?" she whispered and slight blush warmed her cheeks.

"Your posture is horrendous. My teacher use to do this to me when I played so I would learn. Now, it's your turn," I hoped my voice didn't give away how much I enjoyed breaking the touch barrier. "Keep playing," I commanded.

I felt a little tremor run down her spine, but Bella squirmed, trying to get comfortable again but I only pushed my finger harder.

"Ugh, that is really uncomfortable you know."

"Get over it, Miss Swan. Now, play."

Her eyes rolled at me, the cheeky girl, but she picked where she left off and the spark from before reignited.

The notes quieted as she carefully pressed the last notes and I reluctantly pulled my finger away.

"That was much, much better. You were much more comfortable with that than with the Chopin."

"Hey now, Chopin is my bitch. I told you I was just nervous. But that one… it's one of my favorites. It reminds me of home," she admitted.

I chuckled, "I can't believe you just called Chopin your 'bitch.'" She just giggled and shrugged. "Where's home?"

"Oh, this ridiculous excuse for a town on the peninsula called Forks."

"Are you serious? My grandparents lived there for years."

She laughed, "No way! Small world, huh?"

"Did you know them? The Masen's?"

Her pretty mouth dropped open. "Your grandmother was Miss Lizzy?"

"Well, I always called her Nanna, but yes. Her name was Elizabeth. You knew her then?"

Bella was shaking her head in disbelief. "You might say that."

"Care to elaborate?" To say I was intrigued would have been a gross understatement.

She was now blushing furiously. "Don't laugh ok?"

I crossed my heart and she laughed. "Well, when I was little, The Secret Garden was like my favorite book ever. I would run around outside always pretending I was in the book. I was at a babysitter's house one day when I was about eight I guess? And I ran off into the woods like a dumb ass and somehow ended up in the most beautiful garden I had ever seen.

"I was so sure I had found _my _secret garden. The flowers and smells there were overwhelmingly beautiful. Despite the rain, they managed to flourish by some miracle. And I found this little bench in the middle and was totally caught up in my own little fantasy when Miss Lizzy found me.

"She asked who I belonged to and found out I was suppose to be next door with my sitter, but then after that, she would always let me come over and play in her garden. Sometimes we would talk, other times she would just let me be," she paused, sighing. "I loved it over there."

It took me a moment to pull myself from her unexpected story. It was easily the most she had ever said to me in one sitting and I tucked it safely into my Bella File. "Wow, I just can't believe we never met before now. I wasn't there a lot, because I grew up here, but that's just so funny. Did you um, were you at the funeral?" My nanna had passed away about seven years ago.

Bella's eyes darted from mine, "No, I didn't. I couldn't, at the time, I should have though..." her voice dropped and I barely heard her. I could have sworn I saw her eyes glaze over with tears, but I didn't want to push.

"Right, well, um, back to it then?"

Bella nodded and we worked together for another hour or so. I showed her some practice techniques to help stretch her fingers a little more. She grumbled about not needing to work on her finger placement, which I quickly scoffed at.

It was so easy to be around her. Nothing felt strained, well, except for my pants. I even let her have another damned piece of candy, a dumb move on my part.

The knot in my chest had loosened considerably in her presence, I felt peaceful even. Although I didn't want it to end, it was getting close to eight o'clock and I didn't want to keep her.

"So, just keep working on those exercises I showed you and prepare another couple of songs for next week?"

"Sounds good, and thanks for your help. I know you didn't exactly plan on being roped into lessons, or whatever these are."

"No, this was, enlightening actually. I've never been on this side of the 'classroom' per se. It's nice not to focus on my own stuff for a while." Thankfully she wouldn't understand the gravity of that statement.

We walked out of the building toward our cars in the lot. Bella had parked right next to me unbeknownst to her.

Her eyes traveled over my Audi, "Yours?"

"Yeah, it gets me from A to B," I joked.

Just as I turned to face her, she stumbled and again my arms automatically reached out to steady her.

Her face landed with a thud against my chest and I held her a little too long in the awkward position, but I couldn't move. Bella was so close. She was in my arms. I wanted to crush her soft body to me and never let go. A different kind of knot tightened in my chest.

She pushed back, righting herself. "Thanks, for catching me I mean. My walking problems should really be studied by professionals," she smiled.

I ran my hands through my hair again because I had to make them do something other than grab her face and pull her to me. "No problem."

She gave me a tight-lipped smile and began walking away, but quickly turned to me again. "Um, so my roommates and I are kind of having this thing at our place on Friday. No big thing, just some drinks, and we cook a bunch of food and everything and I know they invited Emmett and Jasper, so if you wanted to stop by it wouldn't be weird or anything. Of course if you don't want to, I totally understand. Other people will be there too, not just couples so if you needed to get out or anything…"

Fuck I love when she rambled. "Bella, stop. It's fine. And it sounds like fun. I just, I um, I just don't know if it's appropriate and I might have plans," I mumbled remembering Victoria had mentioned hanging out.

"Oh yeah, of course. No worries, but the invite still stands. You're only a T.A. you know, not a staff member… But it will probably be going all night if your plans end early or fall through."

I nodded, "I suppose, I just don't want to ruffle any feathers in the department since I'm not a student T.A. But thanks, I'll try and make it." I was already thinking of ways to cut short my date with Victoria.

_Hey Edward, see that giant hole you're digging yourself into? Why don't you go ahead and jump in it?_

"Good, see you in class." Bella climbed into her truck and gave me a little wave as a clap of thunder sounded above me. I stood beside my car, watching her drive off as an onslaught of rain pounded on me.

I honestly had no idea what I was doing. My shit with Tanya was far from over, no matter how much I buried it and pretended it wasn't there. It scared me how easy that was becoming to do. I had almost convinced myself that I wasn't a lousy excuse for a human being who made his girlfriend kill herself.

The guilt struck me like a two by four to the gut and I felt hot tears rolling down my face, mixing with the rain.

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***ducks under cover* I know Victoria sucks... but don't hate me just yet!**

**Now, see that little blue review button? Right down there? You know what to do... ;)**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Welcome back! Sorry this took a little longer than I planned, but a contest distracted me... my entry is on my profile if you want to check it out!**

**Big smooshy hugs and gropes to my beta Jarkin33. She is one of the sweetest people ever and I love her tons!**

**Disclaimer: I own a purple vibrating boyfriend, SM owns all things Twilight, all things Twilight own me.**

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Chapter 13**

**BPOV**

As I pulled out of the parking lot I watched Edward slump against his car and look up at the rain. Jesus Christ… if he wasn't directly descended from a Greek god of some sort then someone clearly fucked with his gene pool and only picked the sexy ones.

I couldn't believe how cool I had managed to play it. Trapped in that tiny room with his overwhelmingly delicious man smell did nothing to help the filthy thoughts running through my head. When he touched me with just his damn finger on my back, it was enough to send shivers through me and straight to my now soaking panties.

This was not normal. People couldn't function if crushes were always like this could they? All I could think about was Edward. I was even on the verge of annoying myself.

Of course, since my every thought focused on him, my natural reaction was to avoid Edward, until I actually couldn't. So I shied away from the music building all day Tuesday until that night when I went to practice in my storage room. And during Wednesday's class, I forced myself to stare at Banner's silver hair instead of the copper locks I wanted to run my hands through.

I needed to distance myself from him any way I could. It's why I called him Cullen when he snuck up on me in front of his office. Because every time I said Edward out loud it was like a mini-orgasm in my mouth, like biting into my favorite dessert over and over.

It's why I tried to be a bitch to him when he made that crack about my Blow Pop. Granted part of that stemmed from the nervous breakdown I thought I was going to have from playing in front of Edward. But no. My antics merely amused him. And then he had to go and be all nice and smirky and sexy.

I even opened up about home. What the fuck? He was working some serious voodoo for that to happen. Even Rose and Alice only knew the bare minimum about my life before college. I still couldn't comprehend that his grandmother was Miss Lizzy. She was my saving grace when I was kid. Her garden became my safe zone for those times when I needed to get away. Then I tarnished her memory to shit.

When she passed away, I made it so that I couldn't physically be at the funeral because I didn't _deserve_ to be there in the first place. I barely remembered riding past the cemetery that day. The whole town had turned up. Black umbrellas swayed in the rain only pushing me further down and into _his_ arms.

Fuck this.

I was not going down that road tonight. Not when there were better things to focus on. Like Edward's eyes. Edward's five o'clock shadow that I wanted to trace with my fingertips. The way he stared unabashedly at me as I sucked on my lollipop.

It was with this thought that I walked into my apartment. Alice looked up from her perch in our giant armchair.

"You look smug. Did you do something slutty?" she bounced up leaning over the back of the chair.

I snorted, "I'm not _that_ smug."

"Then what's this dopey-ass grin on your face for?"

"Nothing, I just finished my first lesson with Edward and it just went well. That's all."

She raised a brow at me, "Mm hmm. Sure it is."

"I also told him to stop by Friday night, and he didn't completely say no…"

"Really? Even though he's dating the cunt-who-shall-not-be-named?" her eyes widened to saucer size.

"Fuck, Alice! I don't know ok? I just asked him, and he said he'd try to make it."

Her hands raised back surrendering. "Jeeze Bella, it was only a question. I mean, he wouldn't bring her here would he? Like she'd even make it through the fucking door… but still."

"Oh Christ, he's not that dense, so I doubt it," I laughed, but it was quickly drowned out by a loud thud from down the hall, followed soon after by a loud groan.

I jerked my thumb in the direction of the noise, "Um, what the fuck?"

Alice reached behind her and pulled out a giant pair of earmuffs. "Shit, I thought they were done. Rose and Emmett have been going at it all afternoon. At first, the voyeur in me didn't mind the audio porn, but now it's annoying," she shrugged, covered her ears and returned to flipping through her Vogue.

I grabbed one of the coverings and yelled, "Perv!" and then let it snap back against her head. Alice laughed and flipped me off.

Thankfully, my room did not share a wall with Rose's, or Alice's for that matter and it was blissfully quiet once my door was shut. As a precaution though I still cranked my music.

I flopped on my bed as the Postal Service crooned at me.

_Blech, too mellow._

I clicked through my collection, as my musical ADD was in full swing. There were just some days when I couldn't make it through an entire song. My taste was eclectic to say the least and shuffle mode required some patience.

The remote remained between my fingers as I tried to straighten up the chaos that surrounded me. I was feeling… restless? Almost like a leftover adrenaline high from playing in front of Edward. I was still shocked I managed to get through it without an emotional breakdown.

It had been nearly six years since I had played in front of anyone else. The sheer rush of it was exhilarating enough, but when Edward reassured me and basically hypnotized me with those green eyes… fuck restless.

I was horny as shit and just being in the same room as Edward made me insanely wet.

He probably, and thankfully, had no clue what kind of effect he was having on me. But under his gaze, I felt beautiful. Sexy.

The music clicked over and the deep bass of The Dead Weather filled my room. Its slow, pulsating rhythm was exactly what I was looking for and I cranked the volume. My body started moving on its own accord and my hips circled looking for an invisible partner.

It was one of those songs that made my undiscovered porn star want to come out and play, like "Pour Some Sugar on Me" except not as cliché. Slow and driving, total baby-makin' music. I moved around my room imagining those green eyes watching me as I peeled my jeans off. The thought of his stare made a huge grin spread across my face and I pictured him sitting in my desk chair.

His eyes full of lust, watching me move just for him. I would straddle him, tease him, and grind on his cock until he was begging for me.

_Jesus fucking Christ, Swan. _

I was almost going to feel sorry for the poor soul who finally sexed me up good and proper. I was going to turn into such a nympho. Seriously. Not only did I have dirty thoughts all the time, but now that those thoughts had a name and face to go with them, they had increased tenfold.

My thoughts turned from Edward to a ridiculous daydream of me at a Sexaholics Anonymous meeting.

_Hi, my name is Bella and I'm a sexaholic. My boyfriend dumped me because I wanted it more than he did._

I laughed over the sheer stupidity of the image and turned my wanton thoughts back to Edward.

What I wouldn't give to kiss him, really kiss him. I wanted him to pick me up and carry me to his bed and cover me in pure Edward.

My funsies drawer beckoned me as I flopped on my bed. I reached over and pulled out my little blue friend that had managed to keep me from going completely insane from lack of sexual satisfaction.

Ever since James, I had given up on the idea of actually wanting to have sex again but Edward changed all that. It was all could think about it. What it would feel like with him. I mean, I wasn't a virgin thanks to-

_NO._

I rubbed my temples trying to get those thoughts out of my head as quickly as possible. After all these years of suppressing _those_ thoughts, when one snuck in it damn near knocked the wind out of me. I unconsciously grazed my tattoo that wound around my left shin…

_Fuck, there goes my hard-on_.

Edward… Edward. Edward's hands. Edward's hair. Edward's little crease between his eyes when he gives me the cutest "what the fuck" look. Edward's scent.

_Hard-on returned._

He didn't wear cologne but he always smelled so amazingly good. And my LORD, his hands… those fingers were insanely long. I could only think of the expression, "you know what they say about guys with big hands" as I turned on my vibrating boyfriend.

I wiggled out of my underwear and wasted no time coating the toy in my wetness. I was rather taken aback by the amount that had pooled there. Everything he did turned me on and I could finally take care of it. The contact sent a shudder through my body as I imagined it was Edward's touch making me squirm.

No other man had elicited this kind of my reaction from me before. Yes, there had been vague fantasies of an Alexander Skarsgard type having his way with me, but this was much more tangible.

I desperately wanted to feel his lips on mine. Kissing down my neck as his hands stroked and teased my flesh. I wanted him to claim my body and make it his own.

I turned the knob increasing the vibrations and a blissful sigh released from somewhere deep in my chest. My clit was begging for more attention and I circled it over and over with the tip, imagining it was Edward's tongue. Edward's hands instead of my own squeezing my breasts. Edward's mouth biting and sucking my nipples.

Finally I slid it inside me, fucking myself while my other hand rubbed and flicked my clit. The coils tightened within me and I was so close to falling over the edge into my private pool of Edward induced bliss. I thought back to the night we met and that brief kiss…

My body convulsed and shuddered leaving me loudly gasping for air.

"Holy shit…" It had to be said out loud. No fucking wonder boys watched porn.

I took a long shower and passed out early that night. Thursday was spent in class and shopping for food to cook Friday.

We hosted a few of these things every year. Usually around fifteen to twenty people came over. There was good food, plenty of drinks, and many, many rounds of beer pong.

I was busy putting away groceries when I heard an inordinate amount of grunting from the hall. The door swung open to reveal Rosalie carrying two cases of beer and Emmett was right behind her, only carrying one.

"God, Emmett. Don't be such a fucking baby. Didn't anyone ever tell you to lift with your legs, not your back?" She plopped the cases down on the floor, it looked like she didn't even break a sweat.

"Whatever, Barbie. I'm not the spring chicken I once was," he said putting his box on top of the others.

She slipped her arms around his waist. "I know. You're a dirty, _dirty_, old, man." Each of her pauses was punctuated with a kiss.

I promptly fake hurled into the sink.

"Hey, short stack! Sorry, uh, didn't see you there."

"No shit, you were otherwise occupied," I laughed. "So did you pull your back or something?"

"Fuck off! I did not pull my back, it just felt funny…" he pouted and Rosalie laughed at him.

"Bella, who all is coming tomorrow?" Rose asked.

"Umm I don't know, the usual I guess. I uh, I told Edward he should stop by," I looked at Emmett clearly seeking more information from him.

He shrugged at me. "Hmm, I thought he had some big date, maybe he cancelled or something."

My hope deflated like a balloon that had just been popped. "Oh, yeah, no big. Just thought he could use a break from the classroom stuff." I suddenly felt really uncomfortable. "Rose do you mind putting the rest of the stuff away? I need to, um I forgot I was meeting this girl in my English seminar, she wanted some notes and stuff."

"Yeah, no problem. Don't study too hard, classes have barely started."

I chuckled and grabbed my bag off the table. I pushed Stella hard and made it to campus in about four minutes and was sitting in the storage room staring at the white keys another five minutes later.

I started playing anything and everything I could think of, as long as it was loud. I even banged out Moonlight Sonata and as anyone with ears can tell you it's not meant to be played at a deafening level.

Jesus, I was even breathing hard. I stopped for a moment to catch my breath and try and figure out what had set me off. Apparently the possibility of Edward not showing up tomorrow night was enough to do me in. It also served as a good fucking reminder that one, we weren't dating, two, he was dating somebody else, and three, that somebody else happened to rank number two on the people I actually hate list.

That put a stop to the forming tears right there. Christ would I even want to go near him with a ten-foot pole after he sleeps with the cunt-who-shall-not-be-named? I shuddered at the thought and prayed Edward hadn't slept with her yet and that he never would.

Now that my crazy had subsided, I wanted to relax. Enjoy the solitude and play myself into a trance.

My stream of conscious led me to play of my favorites. I could always feel the emotion behind The Counting Crows' "Colorblind" because I would forever associate it with _Cruel Intentions_. That scene was so beautiful.

As I sang along my imagination got the best of me as I pictured Edward at the top of an escalator waiting for me. Edward telling me he was in love. Edward, making love to me the way it was supposed to be done.

It would be tender and sweet. Not out of obligation or guilt. Not out of pressure. He would make me feel loved and beautiful…

The tears came hard and fast and I couldn't stop them this time. A sob tore through my chest. It was too much. I hadn't had a freak out in so long that this one felt ten times worse. I wasn't going to be able to play this one out.

I needed a Valium and… _Jake_.

My cell phone was at the bottom of my bag and I fumbled for a few minutes trying to see through my tears.

I hit speed dial number one.

"Bells? You ok? It's kind of late-"

"Jake, I can't… it's, it's, it won't stop," I was heaving and wheezing into the phone and prayed he understood.

"Shit! I'll be right there, where are you?" he barked.

I tried to take a breath to get the words out, "In… the music… building. Storage, third floor…" It took every ounce of focus I had to get that out.

"I'll be there in five minutes!" I heard the sounds of his car roaring to life and clicked my phone shut.

I sank to the floor, no longer being able to sit upright. My body folded into itself and a small part of me realized how lucky it was that no one was here. They would think someone was dying or in an immense amount of pain.

Well, physical pain.

My brain couldn't even focus on the memories that had haunted me for so long. They were reduced just to flashes, but that was all it took. Steel-gray eyes. Dirty-blond hair. A tongue piercing. My shattered mirror.

Suddenly warm, familiar arms were scooping me up.

"Oh, Bella… sweetie, you're ok. It's going to be fine. It won't last."

I wrapped my arms around Jake. My rock. He knew it all. I didn't have to say anything. I clung to him as he cradled me to his chest.

He lifted my bag and carried me out of the building to his car. I was too far-gone to care if anyone was around and I collapsed into the seat. The sobs still ripped through me and I felt his body next to mine again as he wrapped his right arm around me pulling me to him.

The next thing I really remembered was being curled up in Jake's bed as he was handing me a little white pill. I hated using them, but when shit got bad like this it was the only thing that worked.

"Come on, Bells. Sit up just for a sec," he coaxed.

My body was shaking so badly I collapsed right back down when I tried to support myself. Jake reached under my shoulders and gently pulled me up so I could take the pill.

I choked the water down and immediately curled back into my protective ball. My sobs were quieter now but just as painful and the tears continued to run freely down my cheeks.

Jake surrounded me with me with his warm body and held me to him. "Shhh, Bella. It's going to be ok. You're fine. Nothing is going to hurt you. I've got you, you're safe."

His words were like tiny bits of a tranquilizer dripping into my blood stream. I focused on them instead while trying to take a full breath instead of the quick, shallow ones that left me so lightheaded.

The medicine was beginning to work and I was on the brink of slipping into unconsciousness when I heard a phone ring.

"Hey, Seth. No, I won't be back in tonight. Bella's here… yeah, can you close up? Ok, thanks… of course. Me too. See you tomorrow."

I took my last bit of awareness and murmured, "Thanks, Jake…"

He squeezed me tighter. "I will _always_ be here for you, Bella."

I drifted off into the black, welcoming the nothing.

XXXXXXXXX

I woke up stiff and in a groggy haze. My throat hurt like a bitch. My head throbbed and I could barely open my eyes thanks to the leftover puffiness to glance at the clock.

_One pm? Fuck._

I shot out of the bed and ran to Jake's bathroom. I splashed freezing water on my face in hopes of taking down the swelling of my eyelids.

Jake was in the kitchen when I slid in on his hardwood floors.

"Whoa, where's the fire Bells?"

"What the fuck, Jake? I had class this morning, and one, like now!"

My best friend laughed at me and slid a giant plate of eggs, bacon and fruit my way. "Dude, like you would have lasted in either of them. You needed to rest…" he added quietly.

I looked at the clock letting my inward battle rage on whether or not I wanted to race to my seminar. Fuck it. I dropped my bag on the floor and Jake laughed again, pouring me some orange juice.

He sat down next to me at the island. "So, are we going to talk about it?"

I popped a strawberry in my mouth. "When have I ever wanted to talk about it?"

"Bella, look. You are one of the strongest people I know and you've handled everything, almost remarkably well. But don't you think it might help if you talked to someone? Figure out, I don't know, what triggers that?"

The eggs tasted dry in my mouth all of a sudden and I swallowed hard. "No. I'm fine."

"But-"

"Jake, just don't ok? It passed. I'm ok. It just… happened."

His hand covered mine and squeezed it tightly. "I love you, you know that right?"

I had taken a huge bite of bacon and mumbled with my mouth full, "Ah loff oo foo."

My favorite smile spread across his face. "Fucking pig…" he laughed.

I flipped him off and continued eating my breakfast. When I finally got around to checking my phone there was four missed calls, three texts and one e-mail. The calls and texts were from Rose and Alice asking where I was. I quickly typed that I was fine and crashed with Jake but would be home in time to make the food. I secretly knew that was what they were panicking about.

The e-mail address I didn't recognize though.

**To: i[dot]swan[at]uw[dot]edu**

**From: eac[at]gmail[dot]com**

**Subject: Ok?**

Hi Bella,

It's Edward. I hope you don't mind I tracked down your e-mail from the roster, but I wanted to make sure you were ok since you weren't in class today. I gave the lecture this morning, so if you want notes they're yours.

This is my personal account, so just let me know. When you can.

Concerned,

-E

I reread the message about eight times before it sank in. My heart swelled to an abnormal size.

He cared.

He noticed when I wasn't there. He tracked down my e-mail just to check on me.

"What the hell has you grinning like a fool?" Jake asked from his couch.

"Oh um, nothing. Stupid e-mail Rose sent me."

He nodded and went back to watching some show on The History Channel.

_Fucking nerd._

**To: eac[at]gmail[dot]com**

**From: i[dot]swan[at]uw{dot]edu**

**Subject: Fine**

Hey Edward,

Thanks for the concern, but I'm fine. I'm allowed three absences remember? I would like to get the notes from you though, sorry I missed your first lecture. I'm sure it was great.

-Bella

P.S. I understand if you have plans tonight, but you're still welcome to stop by. Oh, and next time you see Emmett, give him shit for hurting his back trying to lift a case of beer…

I looked over the message making sure it didn't reveal the overwhelming giddiness that was coursing through me. Even if he didn't come tonight, I still had the knowledge that he cared enough to check on me. I clung to it and hit send before I could over-think it anymore.

"Hey, I've got to head out. Shit-tons of cooking to do before tonight. Are you going to make it?"

"You're still going to play hostess after last night?" He looked at me like I had grown a second head.

I shrugged. "It's what I do. It's done, over with. I can't think of a better time or reason to party."

He sighed. "You're crazy. And I'm sad to say I've got to miss out on your cooking, I need to make up for cutting out last night…"

I ran over and hugged him as hard as I could. "Jesus, you're a lot stronger than you look, Bells," he coughed out but I could hear him smiling as he picked me up.

"Thanks, Jake. Always." I buried my face in his dark hair.

He put me on my feet and kissed my cheek. "Always, Bella."

XXXXXXXXX

About eight hours later, I was absolutely drunk and well on my way to obliterated. What started as a few people over for drinks and dinner turned into a full-blown party. There were about forty-five people crammed into our space.

It was just one of those nights where everything felt good. Everyone was in good mood, no drama, and our neighbors hadn't called the cops yet.

I was in the middle of an epic beer pong battle with Jasper and Emmett. At first they refused to let me play by myself. Then I did a little demonstration of my mad skills and the game was on.

And there was none of this ten-cup bullshit either. If you played at our apartment, you played hard. Fifteen cup minimum.

But I underestimated Jasper. His aim was good, hence my epic wastedness. I was in the middle of chugging my sixth cup and swayed a little against the table.

"Awww, Bella! Don't tell me I'm losing you now…" Jasper laughed.

I plucked the ping-pong ball from the water, stared him down, and tossed it easily into his front cup.

"HAH. But I believe that one goes to Em," I was ridiculously smug.

Emmett grimaced before drinking the contents of said cup.

My back was to the door on purpose. I had been looking at it constantly the entire night hoping and praying for Edward's arrival. I never got a response from my e-mail and that had me a little worried, which led to some pre-party shots. Which led me saying "fuck it" and throwing my inhibitions and sobriety out the window.

It was my party and I'll black out if I want to.

I'm just about to sink my winning shot, much to Emmett and Jasper's dismay when I felt someone standing behind me.

"Don't miss, Bella," he said right as the tiny white ball left my fingertips. His voice sent a shiver down my spine and my shot went wide, hitting Emmett in the stomach.

Emmett let a huge laugh, "E! Fucking best timing ever, man!"

* * *

**EPOV**

I didn't wear a watch on my date with Victoria that night because I knew I would check it constantly. I didn't want to be a complete asshole to her.

Fuck, I didn't even bring my phone.

Victoria had taken me to this bar with live music. Apparently it was a kind of a jazz-blues theme night and for the most part was enjoyable.

I did realize though that Jasper and Emmett were right. I was overly critical the entire time.

At one point, Victoria asked what I thought and I gave her my honest opinion. She looked a little taken aback, but then said she was thinking the exact same thing.

The next couple of hours were spent analyzing the entire performance. It was nice not to hold back with her and it reminded me why I was interested in dating her in the first place. Lately it seemed like all my thoughts were consumed with Bella that I had forgotten that I actually did like Victoria, at least enough to put some effort in.

She was dropping me off at my house after and she crept through all the double-parked cars on the street.

"Ugh, fucking party… don't people know you can't do this?" she scoffed pointing to the cars.

I glanced up at the window and saw a bunch of shadows moving in front of it and it became overbearingly hot in the car. I wanted to go. I had to see Bella.

It really worried me when she didn't show for class and I quickly brushed off the nagging stalker-ish feeling when I e-mailed her, convincing myself it was really just out of concerned teacher reasons.

When she responded though, she offered no reason for her absence. I don't know if she purposely did that or really just didn't have a reason. Whatever it was though certainly didn't hinder tonight's activities by the looks of things.

"I suppose some of them get towed?"

"Nope, cops don't do shit around here," she said as we pulled in my driveway.

She turned to me, leaning forward for the expected kiss. Again, it was nice, just lacking.

"Mmm, can I… I mean, did you have plans?" she whispered.

"Actually, fuck, I'm sorry… I have to wake up really tomorrow. But tomorrow night?"

_And Mickey Rourke gets a fucking Oscar? Hah._

I was getting way too good at this.

"Shit, I have rehearsal, but I'll call you when I'm done?"

I nodded and kissed her one more time for good measure. "Definitely."

"Night, Edward," She called through the window as I walked to my door.

As soon as I was safely inside I ran to my shower sticking with the policy that I did not want to reek of Victoria's perfume when I saw Bella. Normally I would have put a little more effort in, but I was too fucking excited.

I dug through my closet pulling on a worn Stones t-shirt and jeans, quickly towel-drying my hair. I think I was out the door in less than ten minutes.

It was easy enough to find their apartment. One, because I had been staring at the window since the night I met Bella and two, because the music was loud enough that I could follow the bass right to the door.

I took a moment to collect myself before pushing through the door. My senses were assaulted with laughter, singing, perfume, beer, and what smelled like remnants of Mexican food.

My eyes immediately found Bella. Her back was to me and her long hair cascaded down her back. I watched her drink the contents of a plastic cup while flipping off Jasper and laughed to myself. I moved toward her already feeding off her energy. There was one cup left at the end of the table and I held my fingers to my lips for Jasper and Emmett to be quiet. They grinned back at me wickedly as Bella took aim.

"Don't miss, Bella," I said right as she was about to throw. My plan worked and the shot missed hitting Emmett.

"E! Fucking best timing ever, man!"

Bella turned on me, swaying in her movements. Oh Christ, she was already shit-faced.

"Edward! That shit is not cool!" She smacked me on the arm, pretty fucking hard I'll admit, and whirled back around.

"Lucky for you boys, I get another shot," she laughed, aimed, and sank the ball effortlessly. It didn't even touch the rim. "Winner and reigning champion!" Bella promptly did the cutest little victory dance and I wanted to cover her in kisses.

Before I could say anything else she ran off down the hall and slipped inside what I assumed was a bathroom.

There was a smack on the back of my bed.

"Ow! What the fuck?" I rotated to see if I was going to be big enough to handle the guy but looked down only to find Alice. "Alice, ummm hi?"

"You didn't bring Victoria here did you?"

"No, I'm not that stupid…"

She huffed, "I certainly hope not. Well, you haven't missed anything, although she's in fine form tonight."

"Who? Bella? Well, it seems like she's having fun," I shrugged.

"Don't let it fool you," she said.

With that she scampered off into the kitchen leaving me utterly confused.

Some seats opened up in the living room where I was catching up with Emmett and Jasper when Bella plopped down next to me thrusting a cup into my hand.

"Glad you could make it," she gestured to the drink in my hand, "Now catch up," she smiled wickedly.

"So I thought you said this was going to be just a few friends…" I took a sip and nearly coughed it back up; it was almost pure whiskey.

"Meh. You know how it goes. Tell a couple of friends, they tell a couple of friends…" She waved her hand at the crowded room, "As long as we know them, anyone is welcome."

I nodded and was about to ask why she wasn't in class but she hopped up and ran over to the stereo. A few clicks later and loud thumping rap music filled the room.

"Fuck yeah, short stack! I didn't know you liked Wayne!" Emmett shouted.

She laughed, "Em, please. Wayne is my bitch. I know it all."

I was out of this conversation. I had no clue who "Wayne" was and generally ignored the rap genre as a whole. My brain just couldn't really comprehend what was so fucking great about "bitches an' hoes."

"Please, I could totally take you!"

"Hah! Like you did in beer pong?"

Rosalie appeared then and sat on Emmett's lap. Things were going well with them it seemed, he fucking lit up when she was around.

"Emmett I wouldn't test Bella. She's a got a fucking gift with lyrics. Seriously, it's freaky."

He kissed her cheek. Jesus, I had never seen him like this with anyone. "Babe, I fuckin' rule. You should know from my little serenade the other night…"

Rosalie snorted. "I don't think Snoop's 'Sexual Eruption' counts as a serenade dumb ass," she laughed.

Emmett feigned shock and then whispered something in her ear. She blushed wildly and slapped him on the shoulder.

This was almost vomit inducing. I turned my attention to the drink in my hand because I if I was going to have to put up with this shit all night _and_ not be able to touch Bella, I was going to need it.

"Disgusting isn't it?" Bella was sitting next to me again looking almost as repulsed by the sight in front of us as I was.

"Quite. He's never like this," I leaned back into the overly-stuffed couch. For some reason I immediately felt comfortable here. Like I had been here before or something. "She probably has his balls under lock and key."

That got me a giggle and I smiled right back. "I really wouldn't doubt it."

A shadow passed in front of us as Emmett's hulking frame loomed over.

"Ok, short stack. One song. First one to mess up has to do a dare of the other's choosing… deal?"

"Fucking deal. Song?"

He thought for a moment, "Kush?"

Bella nodded and stuck out her hand. They shook on it and I would be lying if I said I couldn't wait to see what happened.

If Bella won, it would be give me endless enjoyment and reason to torture Emmett for weeks. If Emmett won though… he would be ruthless on Bella. If I learned anything from my childhood it was to never accept a dare from my brother.

"Bella, I don't know if you should-"

"Shut it, Cullen. I got this," she commanded as she clicked through an iPod in the dock.

A smooth beat started up as Emmett and Bella squared off. Thank fuck I at least had the good sense to know what kush was, though it had been ages since I'd been high. A small crowd had gathered and watched on intently.

She always captivated me, and I knew she was hammered, but I didn't seem to be the only one. I almost forgot we were in mixed company, but the other guys in attendance now circled around watching Bella move to the music. She paid them no mind however, blissfully unaware of the attention her ass was getting.

I scowled, wanting to shield her from their prying eyes, but my focus was soon turned to the battle raging in front of me.

They were up in each other's faces, lyrically sparring.

_Got the high goin' till 6 _

_Press a button, watch the motherfuckers do tricks _

_I don't know what you on, but I'm on some new shit_

_While you bitches on my dick like a glue stick_

My mouth dropped open. I couldn't believe the ridiculous, foul language coming from their lips. Well, maybe from Emmett's, but not Bella's.

It was fucking hot. Hearing her say "dick" had me shifting around in my seat and I was ogling right along.

They were putting on quite a show and I soon found myself laughing at their antics. I thought they were on the second verse when Bella clapped her hand over her mouth and Emmett's eyes lit up like a kid on his first Christmas.

"Oh, FUCK YES!" he shouted over the music. He spun around doing his touchdown dance I recognized from high school.

Bella looked horrified and then seemed to resolve herself.

"Ok, Emmett. Let's have it. You won fair and square."

"Oh this is going to be way too much fun," he laughed evilly and rubbed his hands together.

I looked around, noticing the crowd had dwindled some and I thanked god for small favors. Emmett's dares were almost always humiliating and I wanted Bella to be spared as much as she could.

Bella stumbled her way over the counter with the booze and poured herself a shot immediately knocking it back. Her day was going to be unpleasant tomorrow to say the least. I looked down at my empty cup and felt my head spin a little too.

_Fuck, I probably won't feel too good either…_

"Emmett just fucking tell me so I can get this shit over with," she slurred.

He whispered in Rosalie's ear again and she began nodding emphatically.

Em gave Bella a wicked grin. "Ok Bella. Lap dance."

"What? Emmett gross, plus Rose would kill me."

"Oh no no, not for me. For Edward."

I had gotten up to get a refill and had my first sip in my mouth that came flying back out.

"Em, dude, no, that's not right, she can't, I don't-"

"E, shut it and let the pretty girl dance for you!" He waggled his eyebrows at me. The fucking bastard had no idea what he was doing to me. This was going to be torture. Pure embarrassment.

There's no way Bella would agree-

"Emmett you're a fucking perv, but I know you'll make me do something infinitely worse if I don't do this one, yes?" He nodded maniacally and she pointed at me, motioning me over. "You. Let's get this over with."

My body moved forward but my head was screaming at me to run away. Luckily my thoughts were becoming much quieter thanks to the copious amounts of alcohol I had managed to drink in a short amount of time, and by the time my ass hit the couch, there were no more thoughts.

Only Bella.

I shot Emmett a look and he gave me a subtle wink and nod combination.

Bella stood in front of me now, looking quite determined for someone so smashed.

She leaned in over me and brought her mouth right next to ear. "Just trust me ok?"

I swallowed and nodded and for the first time in my life, actually prayed for whiskey dick.

Bella changed the song again and a seductive bass guitar blared through as she started to bend and move in front of me.

Jesus fucking Christ, is this what I missed in college? While I was waist deep in rehearsals and sheet music and being an arrogant prick, everyone was doing this? Well, maybe not this per se…

She spun around and winked at me before climbing over and straddling my lap. My brain wasn't working fast enough to process what was happening. Her smell surrounded me. Bella's body was on top of mine. Her pussy was inches away from my rapidly growing cock.

It was my fantasy, reality and fucking heaven all at the same time. My hands moved of their volition and I gripped her thighs, hard.

"Bella…" her name bubbled out of my throat before I could stop it.

And like that she was gone and my hands were holding air.

"Dude! What the fuck Bella! That doesn't count!" Emmett screamed. "That was like ten seconds!"

"Awww Emmettt… maybe you should have specified a time then?" Bella laughed at her small victory.

He huffed at his own mistake and went to grab another beer. I was still frozen in my seat from the best ten seconds of my entire life.

Bella sat back down next to me and handed me another full cup out of nowhere.

"Sorry, I hope that totally didn't creep you out. I just kept thinking if I didn't he'd make me like, streak through campus or something, and that's just… well no," she laughed.

I couldn't form words. How could she pretend like nothing just happened between us? Maybe… fuck. Maybe she didn't care.

But she was still here. Talking to me at least.

I cleared my throat attempting to hide the raw lust behind my voice. "No, um it's fine. I just, I'm not too clear on the rules with T.A.'s and everything… so uh, how about we don't tell Banner?" I chuckled breathlessly.

She snorted at me. "Yeah, Cullen, because I was going to get up in the middle of class and tell him…"

I felt my cheeks heat. "Relax!" she laughed at me again. "Drink up and have some fun ok?"

I nodded and gulped the rest of my drink, enjoying the lingering burn on my tongue.

"Ok."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The next thing I know, morning light is peeking through the window and right arm is so asleep it's gone completely numb. My head is splitting wide open as I struggle to sit up.

I took in my surroundings trying to figure out what the fuck happened last night. Beer. There was a lot of that. And whiskey. I remembered that too. My stomach is now churning and I thought I was going to be sick for minute.

I hung my head in my hands, slowly rubbing my temples. I was still in the girls' apartment. I never made it home. I may or may not have made a complete ass of myself last night.

"Holy fuck…" I groaned in pain.

"Oh god, you're telling me."

Bella was walking toward me clad only in sweat pants and a green tank top. Her hair was sticking out all over the place and her makeup was smudged under her eyes.

She was stunning.

Bella sat down next to me. No questioning why I was still here, or why (I had just realized) had only one shoe on. Just joining me, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to wake up together.

_Well, not together jackass. Hmm, maybe one day…_

"Smoke?"

"Ah, no thanks, kicked the habit a couple of years ago."

Bella laughed and then immediately rubbed her head. "Ow… but um no. I meant weed. Instant hangover cure."

"Are you serious? It's," I checked my watch. "Nine thirty-seven in the morning…"

"Wake and bake, Cullen. I promise. Not only will your headache be gone, but you'll actually be able to eat something today."

She was packing the little glass bowl and the smell sent me straight down memory lane to my few and far between partying days.

"Fuck it, I can't feel any worse."

Bella grabbed a lighter from the table and took a long pull. She held it in for quite a while before releasing a large amount of smoke.

She handed it to me, and I repeated her actions, except I coughed like a little bitch. Bella didn't laugh at me though and merely took the bowl back taking another hit.

I sat back for a few minutes letting the coughing fit subside. I think we were both still too tired to attempt conversation.

Something had changed though. The sexual tension was still there, but there was also this new comfort level. I didn't have to try around Bella. It just… was.

I took another hit and let the relaxation pull me under. Bella flipped on the television and changed the channel to cartoons.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Saturday morning cartoons, seriously?"

"Can you think of anything better to watch?"

"Definitely not," I said as I settled into my seat feeling more content than I had in a really long time.

Not too long after the other four stumbled out of their rooms.

Emmett and Rosalie looked all lovey-dovey even more so than before. Alice and Jasper however, looked a little tense.

I tried to care, but I was fucking starving all of a sudden.

Bella looked over at me, "Food, right?" I nodded profusely. "Guys, The Flying Egg?"

There was a chorus of "fuck yes's" from the other couch. The girls took us to this tiny little café that had the best breakfast food I'd ever had in my life. The omelet was as big as my face and I ate the entire thing.

Bella was absolutely right. We were the only ones not in an immense amount of pain and I was ridiculously smug over my miraculous non-hang over.

Everyone went his or her separate ways after, but instead of immediately feeling the lack of Bella's warmth when I left, it stayed. Like I had taken a little piece of her happy and kept it with me.

I didn't know what that meant but I didn't let go. I hadn't felt this good in so long. She just made me smile. Brunch was full of easy laughs between all of us and I didn't constantly want to jump her. Well, that was a lie. I guessed now though, there was not only lust, but friendship?

I couldn't really explain it, but I thought about it all week. Especially while I stared at her during class.

Even more so during our next lesson Wednesday. It was just effortless to be around her. Bella had been practicing too and it was really productive. I told her I would start thinking about some possible choices for the piece she could learn for her project and she readily agreed.

I knew she didn't play her own stuff for anyone, but I hoped maybe one day she might let me listen. I wanted to earn her trust enough for that.

When I wasn't with Bella or in class, I was still keeping busy. More students had signed up for my office hours wanting to go over their music with me. For the most part, there was a lot of talent and I found myself really enjoying the teaching side of things. I started to not feel so utterly worthless.

When I got home after class Friday morning, there was a package waiting for me on the porch. I was still on a high after giving my second lecture and was eager to get the weekend started.

Bella said she had to work tonight, so Emmett said we should all hang at Wolfe's until her shift was over. I really liked this new little group of people in my life and it started to feel like things were falling into place.

Well, in a matter of speaking. Victoria was still around, and I continued to want Bella more than what people would consider healthy. I was stunned at my own control at not jumping her every time I saw her.

I was walking a fine line and I wasn't quite sure how to handle it, but I couldn't stop myself from seeing her either.

I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and a knife to open the box. There wasn't a return address so I figured my mom had sent me some house warming type thing.

The knife cut through the packing tape with ease and I dug through the Styrofoam peanuts. My hand reached something hard, wrapped in newspaper.

I pulled out the object and tore the paper off. A bright, clear crystal corner appeared and my heart came to a complete stop.

The frame… holy fuck.

My brain stopped working. I saw red. The wind was knocked out of me. It was no longer the present day. It was a year ago and I was shocked back into the darkness that had consumed me for so long.

I felt myself land hard on the floor as the picture frame fell from my fingertips, feeling like it had burned them. My breaths were heaving out of me at an alarming rate. I struggled to hang on to anything. My thoughts were black with rage, confusion, guilt and utter shock.

Something… anything. I searched for something to hold to, to stop myself from spiraling down and never returning.

My parents, Emmett, Jasper, Nanna…

_Bella._

I mentally clung to Bella as tight as I could. She could help. She would make it stop. Make the pain go away…

I had to see her.

* * *

**Sooooo what'd ya think? Predictions? Questions? That little blue button is calling you... begging to be clicked on :) **

**Thank you so much everyone for reading, adding me to their favorites, alerts etc. I love you all!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Welcome back! This one is a bit more heavy than others... so bear with me. **

**Many hugs and thanks to my magnificent beta Jarkin33. She rocks my world.**

**Disclaimer: I own Grease 2 on dvd (oh yes), SM owns all things Twilight, and all things Twilight own me.**

**

* * *

Chapter 14**

**EPOV**

**(Flashback)**

Daisies covered every inch of my apartment. Wall to wall, floor to ceiling. They were Tanya's favorites.

I had our favorite Thai food delivered and set it out on my table which was covered in more flowers and candles.

Peggy Lee, her favorite, crooned from the stereo, as I made sure everything was perfect.

It was our six-month anniversary and I was head over heels in love with Tanya, but I hadn't told her yet. Tonight was it and I wanted everything to go right.

My buzzer sounded downstairs and I let her up. I could barely breathe I was so nervous. I had never told anyone that I loved them before. I had no idea if she felt the same way but I was going to burst soon if I didn't tell her how I felt.

I opened the door to my beauty and immediately pulled her to me in a heated kiss.

"Happy six-months, baby," I nuzzled into her neck.

She took in her surroundings letting out a little gasp as tears brimmed over her eyes.

"Edward this is beautiful," she mused. "Thank you…"

The night was filled with sweet whispers and promises of the future. Over dessert I reached for her present and nearly dropped it because my hands were shaking so badly. This was it.

The Tiffany's frame I found was beautiful. It practically screamed Tanya. Crystal, modern, with a touch of femininity.

I had a picture of us from about four months ago in black and white tucked inside. We had spent the day at the lake up by Northwestern. Our cheeks were flushed and we both had ridiculous grins on our faces. We weren't looking at the camera. It was one of those where she held her arm out and we pushed our faces close together to fit in the shot. But at the last minute we both turned toward each other with our noses grazing as the camera clicked.

That moment was when I first realized I loved her and she had managed to capture it on film.

I handed her the light blue box and her eyes lit up as I imagine most girls' did when they saw the signature color.

"Ohhh baby… this is so beautiful! This day was so much fun," she traced the frame light with her finger. "Edward, I… thank you. It's perfect."

I cleared my throat hoping for courage. "Baby… do you know why I chose this picture?" She shook her head. "This moment is… it's when I realized that I love you. I'm in love with you, Tanya."

The knot that had had permanent residence in my chest for the last four months finally loosened.

She threw her arms around me then, whispering her "I love you, too's" over and over.

At that moment I could count on one hand the number of great moments in my life, and this easily ranked above them all.

About a year later I found myself back in my apartment dodging silverware, plates, what have you. She was in a rage this time flinging anything she could get her hands on.

"I swear to god, Edward! You're fucking that bitch! I just know it!" she screeched.

"Tanya! You know I'm not! She the fucking first chair violinist! We HAVE to talk every now and then. Come on baby! I love you, not anyone else, ever!"

"I saw how you looked at her, Edward. There's no fucking excuse," she wailed as the tears started to fall. I saw her reach for the crystal frame.

_NO._

That was my only thought as I lunged to stop her.

"Tanya no! Not that one, please, baby!"

I grabbed the picture from her hand saving it from imminent destruction.

"Why?" She spat. "It's not like it means anything anymore."

It felt like she had stabbed me in the chest with a dull letter opener. "You don't mean that. I _love_ you, Tanya. You know it. I fucking know you do!"

I pulled her to me and crushed her body against mine. She struggled at first, attempting to pound on my chest with her tiny fists, but the anger quickly melted. Wailing, heart-wrenching sobs echoed through the room.

I glanced at the picture in my hand as I held her and was filled with remorse, guilt, love, fear, and pure panic. I loved Tanya, truly I did, but I was so scared of what was happening to us. Somewhere down the road we had lost ourselves in this obsession with each other. So I did the only thing I could; I held her close until the storm passed feeding my addiction as well as hers.

**(End Flashback)**

* * *

**BPOV**

My cheeks were starting to ache from smiling so much this past week. After the party Friday night I had been in a perpetually good mood.

I knew why. Edward "freaking keys to my panties" Cullen.

He was so different recently. We had so much fun together, from what I remembered, at the party, and the next day felt so natural. The six of us just kind of clicked, like some ridiculous "Friends" episode.

During class, I swore we were both playing the "stare and look away" game too. Only I kept missing him, and I hoped he kept missing me. He was just so friggin' adorable, all studious, taking notes and putting his two cents in whenever Banner opened things up for discussion.

When I met up with him Wednesday I really tried to keep my nerves in check this time. It felt like we could really be friends, well a friend whom I wanted to fuck relentlessly. Even though the room was still filled with crazy sexual tension, I wasn't quite so uncomfortable playing in front of him this time.

We talked some more too. About nothing in particular, but even basic small talk with Edward felt like one of those deep conversations you have with a best friend.

His lecture today too… was just, well, it's something other professors dreamed they could do. Yes he was attractive and won half the battle for attention that way, but he really knew his shit. He wasn't arrogant about it and led a great discussion. Overall, he was utterly charming and clearly had even the snobbiest of students eating out of the palm of his hand.

I was looking forward to tonight too, even though I was covering someone's shift, they all promised they would stop by and keep me company for a while, including Edward.

It was getting close to eight o'clock. I had just gotten out of the shower and was going to start getting ready for work when my phone buzzed.

**To: Bella**

**From: Kate**

**Hey, what time are you coming in? **

**There's this guy here who keeps asking for you…****reddish brown hair? **

**He's in deep dude… really upset about something.**

I read the text several times, trying to understand. I only knew one guy with copper tresses, but Edward was fine today.

Fuck. I went from happy to panicky in matter in a matter of seconds.

**To: Kate**

**From: Bella**

**I'm not due in for another hour, but I'm on my way. **

**Is he saying anything else? How bad is it?**

I fumbled around my room for my nearest pants and shirt and was slipping on my faithful chucks when my cell buzzed again.

**To: Bella**

**From: Kate**

**Nope, just keeps asking for you, saying your name over and over. **

**And it's bad, I should have stopped serving him a while ago… **

**but he said he wasn't going to drive. Just hurry.**

I ran out the door with my sopping wet hair still dripping down my back. What the fuck had happened to Edward?

Granted my knowledge of the guy was rather superficial, I had never gotten any indication that something could set him off this bad.

Stella chugged along as my mind reeled with horrible and dramatic explanations for his behavior.

By the time I burst through the door of the bar I had made myself completely frantic.

I saw him hunched at the bar with a not-so-small portion of amber liquid in front of him. His hair was more out of control than usual, and his head was barely propped up by his arm. Edward's eyes were puffy and red.

He looked utterly hopeless.

Suddenly I was twelve years old again. Looking at another hopeless figure in my mind. Sitting in the exact same position at the kitchen table with a nearly empty bottle in front of them.

I shook my head to clear the memories as I approached him.

"Edward?" I tentatively put my hand on his shoulder. As messed up as he was, touching him still warmed my fingertips.

Painstakingly slow, he turned his head to look at me. "Bellllllaaa…"

"Yeah, I'm here… it's ok."

I saw Kate in my peripherals offering me an apologetic look. I mouthed to her it was ok.

I felt my wrist being grabbed then and when I met his eyes, all I saw was pain. What the fuck had happened to him?

"Bellllaaa, make it ssstop. Pleeease… it hurts," he moaned and shifted his weight off the stool, barely giving me time to catch him.

Another pair of familiar arms grabbed the rest of his weight from me.

"Bells, you ok?" Jake asked appearing out of nowhere.

"Yeah, Jake, I'm fine. I just… I think he needs to get home. I can take him."

Another groan escaped from Edward as Jake held him up.

"Yeah, no fucking shit. Can you handle him?"

I huffed out a big sigh. "Lot's of practice remember?"

He narrowed his eyes at me, but didn't say anything. Edward tried to move toward the bathroom but stumbled and Jake caught him again.

"You want to let him go before he gets in your car?"

I nodded. "Yeah, and I'll uh, I'll grab a to go bag just in case," I grimaced hoping he didn't get sick in my car.

Jake steered Edward toward the bathroom and I rubbed my temples trying to force away the familiarity of the situation.

I was waiting for their return when the door opened and a familiar fake laugh floated to my ears.

_Oh. Fuck. Me. _

Victoria came sauntering in, draped across some guy practically mauling him as they walked to a table.

_This is for Edward, do this for him. _

I chanted this to myself because I couldn't believe I was actually about to be civil to the cunt-who-shall-not-be-named.

She saw me approaching and immediately switched over into defense mode.

"Vickyyytoria," it was hard not to call her Vicky just to piss her off. "Um, look, I think it might be best if you left because, you see-"

"Fuck off, you little frigid bitch," she scowled and the guy with her had the nerve to chuckle. Christ maybe he was the one for her. "I can be wherever the hell I want with whoever the fuck I want, got it?"

I held back my snarl as my fingers clenched into a tight fist. "I'm not trying to _tell_ you anything. I'm just saying, now might not be the best time for you to be parading-"

"Parading what? That I know how to get what I want?" She curled her hand around the guy's neck. "Unlike you, Bella, I know how to hold on to my men…"

"Jeeesus fucking Christ…" Edward had stumbled out of the bathroom and Jake was right behind him. "You really are fffucking cunt," he slurred.

Victoria jerked away from the guy she was curled around. "Shit! Edward, baby. No, it's not-"

He started cackling maniacally.

_Fuck, he has really lost it…_

"Shyouuu," he pointed at her. "Were snothing but a distraction. An over-gelled, fake-boobed, distraction," he ran into a nearby chair and winced. "Ughhh, I should have fffucking known."

"Edward, please? Don't… you're drunk, we should just talk," Victoria started to grovel.

"Vic, what the fuck?" Random Guy decided to pop in and I shook my head at his blatant stupidity.

Edward's gaze rolled over to the dude. "I'll tell youuuu the same thing I heard. 'Get out now.' I should have fucking listened…" Edward tripped and Jake caught him this time.

"Ooook, man. Time to get you home," he said and Edward mumbled something unintelligible.

Victoria was still gaping at him. She must have been overwhelmed from the shock of actually being dumped. Not to mention in front of a bar bull of people.

I was so smug I thought I actually might burst. Not only was this the second time I'd witnessed Victoria being put in her place, but, Edward actually dumped _her_. Not to mention he called her a cunt.

This made my future task of taking care of his drunken ass much more pleasant.

I grabbed a plastic to-go bag from behind the bar. Stella may be old, but I kept her clean and I was so not cleaning up vomit from my car.

Jake was steering Edward outside and I followed them to my truck. He opened the door and Edward fell in face first letting out a stifled groan as Jake shut the door behind him.

"Bells, are you going to be ok getting him home? He's… not going to feel so hot."

"Yeah, I'll be fine, Jake. Thanks. I just need to get him home and let him sleep it off."

He nodded and gave me a tight hug. How Jake always understood exactly what I was thinking was always beyond me, but I didn't question it.

I climbed in and looked at the crumpled man inside the cabin. Edward was slumped against the door on the verge of passing out. I couldn't have that.

"Edward? Edward!"

"Mmmphhhwaaat," was his response.

"Edward, you have to tell me where you live. I need to get you home…"

He groaned and slumped forward, propping his head on the dash. "Shhyour place."

"Umm I can't take you to my place like this. Just tell me where you live." I didn't want to sound so resentful but I couldn't help it. I would take care of him, yes, but this was bringing back painful memories that had been long buried.

"NO. I liiiive by shyour place," he mumbled and gestured out the window.

"Ok," I sighed. That was better than nothing. I shoved the plastic bag in his face. "If you're going to lose it, do it in there. Not my fucking car."

He gave me a meek nod and collapsed back against the window. I drove in the direction of my apartment and parked in front of my building. He could direct me from there.

"Hey. We're here, at my building. Where do you live?"

Edward lifted his head and swayed with the new motion.

_Fuck… why did you do this Edward?_

He started pulling at the handle and I jumped out and ran around to the passenger side before he ate shit on the concrete.

"Ooook, I've got you." I pulled his arms around my shoulders and he started stumbling across the street. "Edward, where are you-"

He pointed at the gray house, "I live thereee."

I was stunned. This entire time my green-eyed god lived less than fifty yards from me?

"Unfuckingbelievable," I chuckled humorlessly as we approached his door. Thankfully he hadn't pushed me over with all his wobbling and I held him up as he dug for his keys.

The worst part of it all was that I was still insanely turned on by this drunk fuck up draped across me. Even in all his boozy stench, he still smelled like Edward. He looked wasted as all get out, but was still the most beautiful man I had ever seen.

The keys fell from his hand and I pushed him to lean against the wall so I could pick them up. I tried a couple before the door clicked open.

Edward tripped over the threshold and slammed into the nearest wall. I reached for the nearest light switch.

_Oh wow…_

The house was just so… him. Warm and comforting but a little modern. My gaze traveled back to Edward who was now leaning on the kitchen island moaning in pain. A thin film of sweat coated his face and arms and his face had drained of color.

"Fuck," I whispered to myself. "Edward. Bathroom. Go."

He pushed himself off the counter and meandered down the hall running into the wall occasionally. I braced myself for what was coming. I knew I couldn't leave him while he was sick. I had seen that go wrong before and was sure as fuck not going to have that on conscience again.

"_How long has she been like this?"_

"_I don't know… I was outside and I came back in… and I found her. I thought she was ok…"_

"_Stand back Izzy, we're going to have to carry her out now."_

I shook myself out of eleven years ago and trudged down the hall after him.

Edward was flopped face up on his bed.

_Shit, not good._

I yanked him hard off the bed and pushed him toward the bathroom.

"Belllaaaa, I'm fineee," he groaned at me.

"Edward. You're not fine. In about five minutes you're going to be violently ill and I'd much rather have that happen over your toilet than in your bed ok. Just trust me. Now sit, and pray to the porcelain gods."

He gave me the most pathetic pout before plopping on the floor and resting his head on the seat.

I knew I was going to wait this out. I was in deep with Edward, whether he knew it or not. And if that meant watching him get sick for hours so be it.

His breathing had become labored and suddenly his body wrenched forward as the contents of his stomach came pouring out.

The difference between now and eleven years ago, I didn't have any hair to hold back this time.

He had consumed what appeared to be most of the bar and I sat there for god knows how long.

Edward finally pulled back, seemingly done. I knew better though and handed him some tissues to wipe his face.

"Bella… I'm sorryyyy, please don't, I'm so sorry," he groaned.

I snorted. "Yeah, you'll be sorry in the morning, that's for sure."

What happened next I didn't expect. He launched across the small distance between us and clung to me with his head buried in my stomach. His body was shaking and I could feel warm tears seeping into my shirt.

"Edward, what-" I was shocked and didn't know what to do.

"I made her do it!" he wailed suddenly. "I should have known… I should have, I should have…known…" his voice was wrought with pain and I was completely taken aback. Where was this coming from… and who the fuck was 'her?'

"Edward… it's okay, I promise, I'm here," I offered generic comforting words hoping they would do some good, because I meant them, I just didn't know what else to say. I'd never had a grown man cry to me before.

"Jesus… Edward," I could feel my own tears welling up. "Who broke you?" I whispered.

My heart was breaking wide open for him, as the sobs grew louder. I could pick out low murmurs of "I made her", "I let her go" and "I'm sorry, Tanya" through the cries.

_Tanya… well, at least I know who "her" is._

I continued stroking his hair until I felt him jerk suddenly. Edward scrambled for the toilet again, but was completely disoriented. I moved out of the way as quickly as I could but…

"Fuck," I seethed.

He missed.

My chucks and jeans were officially ruined.

I knew I should have been more grossed out, but there were countless other pairs of jeans and shoes that I had thrown out before. This was sadly nothing new.

Edward grimaced, slightly comprehending what had happened before retching, in the toilet this time, again. I left him there as I kicked off my shoes and jeans, and went in search for something of his to wear.

I lucked out on the third drawer I tried and pulled out a pair of plaid pajama pants. Even though I had to roll them three times to stay on, a part of me was a little too excited to be wearing his clothes at this moment.

My cursory glances around his bedroom made me feel a little giddy too. How many times had I pictured him in his bed. With me. Fucking me until I forgot my name. Holding me until I fell asleep. Waking up to him, only to rinse and repeat.

A noise from the bathroom shook me out of my ill-timed fantasies and I headed back to check on him. I found a groggy Edward, close to sleep, hugging the toilet. My mind flickered back to similar images.

"_Bella… she's ok. Mommy just doesn't feel well. She ate some bad food."_

"_Should I bring her soup or something?"_

"_No sweetie," my father glared at the hunched figure. "She doesn't need any food right now."_

"I think…" he spit a couple of times. "I think I'm done."

"Yeah… ok," I conceded. "Let's get you into bed."

I reached down to help him up. Even if he had dispelled everything in his system, he was still completely wasted.

We stumbled over to his bed and he flopped over into the middle. I looked around for a trashcan and ended up pulling the one from the bathroom.

"Edward. I need to you roll this way," I said while tugging on his arm. Thankfully he easily complied and rolled so that he was on his side, as close to the container as he could be.

"There's a trashcan here if you need it, ok? I'm going to-"

"Pleeeeease don't leave, please, please," he begged over and over.

_Fucking Christ… whoever this Tanya chick is has done some serious damage._

"I'm not going anywhere," I promised and looked around, spotting a comfy looking armchair in the corner. I struggled for a minute but eventually got it next to the bed.

As much as I wanted to snuggle up next to my green-eyed god, it would be absolutely inappropriate and my mothering tendencies had taken a vast lead over my hormones. I curled up in the chair and looked over at an already passed out Edward.

He would be out for a while so I let my gaze wander over the features I had studied so intently during class. Now I just had the front-row seat.

Edward looked utterly peaceful as he slept. His hair was still perfectly tousled; despite all the pulling he did to it. He hadn't shaved in a couple of days and his scruff was damn near perfection. His long fingers gripped the pillow under his head and his breaths evened out to a slow pace.

Being able to stare at him lulled me into some sort of Edward trance. Why did he want me at the bar earlier? Shouldn't he have wanted to talk to Emmett or Jasper? Was he waiting there for me? Did he go there for me in the first place? Who is Tanya? Did she break his heart?

My mind wandered in a hundred different Edward directions before falling into a fitful slumber.

* * *

**EPOV**

Everything hurt.

My eyes clenched shut as I tried to block out the pain and the rush of fuzzy memories that assaulted my mind.

_The bar… the scotch… Bella… Victoria, oh fuck me sideways,… Bella… Tanya… the frame._

My eyes flew open on their own accord as I lurched forward over the side of my bed and began dry heaving. There was a flutter of movement next to me and I felt soft hands rubbing the back of my neck.

When nothing came up, my eyes closed again, and I welcomed the unconsciousness.

XXXXXXXXX

I could feel morning behind my eyelids and cursed the sun into oblivion as I slowly opened my eyes once more. I was slightly more aware this time, noticing my reading chair next to the bed.

_Bella really was here? Fuck… it wasn't a dream._

I had vague flashes of her curled up asleep in the over-stuffed chair. From what I could tell she looked stunningly peaceful while she slept. Then I noticed something sticking to my forehead and I reached up and pulled off a Post-It.

_Take these, and drink this. Then go back to sleep._

There was a little arrow pointing to the right at a cup of a light pink mixture and three Advil's on my nightstand.

I would've smiled if I knew severe pain wouldn't follow. I reached for the pills and what I now recognized as a smoothie of some sort.

The icy liquid felt good sliding down my throat and I managed not to immediately cough it back up. When the glass was empty I threw a pillow over my eyes as my thoughts drifted to Bella.

Last night was certainly a blur, with a few good chunks of time actually missing, but Bella was here. I remembered that, was immediately comforted and horribly embarrassed at the same time.

_Oh fuck…_

I had no clue what I said. What I did. All I remembered after seeing Bella at the bar was a flash of me saying some pretty fucked up shit to Victoria, being manhandled by the ogre, and then hazy thoughts of my toilet.

A low groan sounded in my throat as I replayed the events over and over trying to remember anything new. Somehow I drifted off into the peaceful realm sleep again.

The smell of bacon woke me from my slumber. Instead of my stomach flipping me off and making me lean into the trashcan again, it snarled at me.

My eyes were caked over with sleep and I ran my hands over my face.

Shower. I needed a shower. And a toothbrush. Toothbrush first.

I couldn't bear to look at myself in the mirror and didn't even turn the lights on in my bathroom. Just because I wasn't feeling sick anymore didn't mean I wasn't lacking one fucker of a headache.

By the time I stepped out of my room and into the delicious breakfast smells coming from my kitchen, I was hungry, confused, and horrifyingly ashamed of my actions.

And then suddenly painfully aroused.

Bella was not only cooking in my kitchen, but she was bouncing around in _my_ flannel pants. Holy fuck… be still my penis.

"So," I started to say and she let out a little squeak and a spatula full of eggs landed on the counter.

"Fucking A, Edward!" she wheezed clutching her chest. "Give me a heart attack…"

That little yelp felt like it damn near pierced my eardrums and my hands clapped over them in protection.

"Ah sorry," she brought her voice down and I just nodded.

"So," I tried again while sitting on a stool. "Want to tell me why I feel like I was hit by a car instead of run over multiple times by a train?"

She smirked while stirring the eggs. "The secret of all secret hangover remedies, Cullen. You don't want to know what was in that shake."

I simply nodded and rested my head on the cool counter top. A plate of bacon, eggs and strawberries appeared in front of me.

"I'm hungry but I'm not sure if I should…"

"Did you throw up the shake?" she asked. I shook my head. "Then you'll be fine. You lost a lot of essential nutrients last night and you body needs to replace them so you can start feeling better," she rattled off matter-of-factly.

"Ok. Umm thanks," I muttered quietly.

She gave me curt nod and began cleaning as quietly as she could. I ate slowly not wanting to shock my stomach.

"This is a great fucking kitchen by the way."

"Thanks," I winced as she put away the skillet when it clanged against the others. "It was one of the major reasons I chose this place."

She turned and smirked at me. "Yeah… _this_ place, huh? You just weren't going to tell me you live right across the street?" Bella quirked one of her cute eyebrows at me.

I squirmed under her gaze. "I uh, well, I didn't want you to think that… fuck, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kept that from you."

The eggs that had been sitting nicely in my stomach turned over as a fresh batch of shame rolled through me.

Bella huffed, "Well, it's not like there are any more secrets between us now, Cullen."

My mouth dropped open. _Oh shit. We didn't have sex. No fucking way. I would have remembered. I would have known. Fuck what did I say to her? Ohmygodohmygodohmygod._

She caught my expression and started laughing. "No. Relax. I just meant, once you've seen someone else's vomit capabilities, there's not that much left to hide, you know?"

A sigh of relief pushed through my lips before I could stop it. "Good, I just. Uhh, fuck. You shouldn't have had to deal with that. You didn't need to stay," I mumbled.

"Edward. You were in no condition to be by yourself last night," her voice quieted. "That… well, that wasn't drinking for fun. That was drinking to drown, or hide, or trying to forget something. I've seen that before… and," she took a deep breath, "if that's a common occurrence for you, I might need to, um, step back. Or something, for a while."

I dropped my fork and turned to look at her. A look of resolve transformed her face. "Bella, no. I'm sorry. Last night, umm, something set me off. And I don't know what happened. But that doesn't, I'm not a, I know I should have handled things better. I was just kind of in a bit of a shock?"

She nodded, "Ok…"

I tried to think of a change of subject. "Thanks for staying… and, don't take this the wrong way or anything, but why are you wearing my pj's?"

I loved seeing her in them and if all the blood wasn't pumping painfully into my brain, it would be heading a bit farther south.

She gave me a snarky chuckle. "Black out then?" I rolled my eyes and nodded. "Ummm well, at one point last night, you kind of missed? My jeans were salvageable and are currently in your washing machine. My shoes however… they are sadly no more," she grimaced.

My cheeks warmed immediately. "Holy shit, Bella. I'm SO sorry. I'll of course replace them, your jeans too, fuck. Oh my god…" I buried my face in my hands.

What in the fuck had made me think that seeing Bella in my condition last night would be such a good idea?

"Cullen, it's ok. Don't worry about it. It happens," she shrugged. "But I will gladly take you up on that offer," a smirk appeared on her lips. "My chucks were falling apart anyway."

"Good, please, anything. I'm so sorry…" a shooting pain coursed through my skull at the moment and I clutched my head in pain.

'Ok, you need a couch, and some type of movie marathon."

I gingerly stepped off the stool and noticed that the devil box was nowhere to be found. "Did you see the-"

"Oh, I moved the box, and the uh, whatever fell out of it, into your hall closet? Is that ok? I was just straightening up while you slept…"

"No that's fine, thanks. A lot actually."

A glimmer of understanding passed through her eyes and she gave me a small nod. I moved over to the couch relishing my horizontal position once again.

"Where are your movies?"

"Right drawer, under the TV."

I heard her rustling through my collection. "Ok wow, where are all your hangover classics?"

"What?"

"You know, _Old School, Wedding Crashers, Van Wilder_…?"

I just shook my head. I'd heard of the movies she was talking about but I never really had an interest in them.

"Dude, you are lacking."

"Sorry to disappoint?"

Bella scoffed. "You're the one that's missing out, and since it's too late for Saturday cartoons, looks like you'll be stuck with a Law and Order marathon. Which might actually be perfect because it looks like you'll be asleep in about ten minutes anyway," she smirked.

I flipped on the television, keeping the volume low. Bella looked like she was getting ready to go, and despite the fact I had made a complete ass of myself I still wanted her to stay.

"You, uh, heading out?"

"Not yet, jeans in the dryer still. Wouldn't want you to hand them to me in class," she chuckled. "What would your fans think?"

I choked out a laugh, "Oh god, anything but the fans," I grimaced at the amount of attention I had been receiving from the female students lately. "Well, you want to watch Sam Waterston kick some ass?"

Bella hesitated before sitting in the corner of the couch, as far from me as she could get. "Sure, why not?"

We watched in a slightly awkward silence for a few minutes and I ran through this morning's conversation in my head.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"What did you mean earlier when you said you had seen that kind of drinking before?" I knew I was prodding and there was a good chance she would shut me down but I ached to know anything about her.

She let out a little sigh. "Caught that did you?"

"You don't have to tell me, I just… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

"No, it's ok." She turned to look at me, and hugged her knees to her chest. "Rose and Alice don't know this… so can we keep this between us?"

I nodded vehemently trying to hold back my excitement that she was about to share something personal. "Of course, you have my word."

She took a deep breath. "So, you know how I told you I spent a lot of time at your grandmother's house when I was little? Well her house kind of became my safe haven I guess. Um… my dad would take me there, when my mom got too messed up.

"She didn't start drinking until I was about eight I think. I was too young to really know what was going on and my dad tried to keep me out of the house when it got really bad. Miss Lizzy became my permanent babysitter or something.

"For a while, I remained blissfully ignorant. When I was eleven though I started to pick up on things while my dad was at work. I would find bottles in random places, my mom would be 'sick' or something in the middle of the day. Stuff like that. Then she just stopped trying to hide it.

"I never really got an answer from her on why it started. Everything I remember before that point was great. She and my dad seemed happy. I had a great childhood, so I'm not really sure what changed...

"My dad gave me a watered down version saying she felt like she was missing something and chose the booze to fill that void. Which of course, to a kid, sounded like I wasn't enough. Learning that only made me try harder. I took care of her. Bathed her. Cleaned up after her. Researched everything I could to try and help, but it just didn't."

I remained silent for the duration of her story, absorbing everything I could. Jesus, to be around that at such a young age… and I made her relive it last night. No fucking wonder.

Bella wiped a couple of errant tears from her flushed cheek before continuing. "That's um, well, she's a big reason I focused so hard on the piano. It seemed to calm her down or something when she was in one of her emotional tailspins.

"But, like I said, nothing worked. One night I remember this huge blow out between my parents. My dad was yelling at her that she couldn't do this and she didn't have to leave to get better. She was saying she needed out and couldn't get better if she stayed. The next day… she took off. I haven't heard from her since," she whispered and dropped her gaze from mine.

My head was spinning. I didn't know what to say. Was there anything you can say to that?

"Bella…" I sat up so I could meet her eyes. "I'm so sorry. That's terrible. No one should _ever_ have to go through that."

"Thanks," she mumbled. "I'm ok, and it would have been a whole lot worse if your grandmother hadn't watched over me like she did."

"I'm sure she was glad to help."

My hand reached out for her, but I stopped myself just short of grabbing her and pulling her to me. I wanted to comfort her. I wanted to protect her. I wanted to make it all go away for her like she did for me.

I clenched it into a fist instead, still trying to comprehend what kind mother would do that.

"Edward? Can I ask you something?"

"I think that's only fair," I gave her a soft smile.

"Um… who's Tanya?"

My eyes nearly popped out of my head and my heart sputtered before pounding through my chest.

"You just, you said her name a lot last night, and you were so sad and-"

"Yeah, fuck," I groaned to myself. "She's um…" I started to choke up, but swallowed back the sob that almost ripped through me. "She's my ex."

"I got that part…" she pushed, but I could tell she wasn't trying to be overly intrusive.

"We were pretty serious, but had some problems, and she left," I pushed it all out in breath making the split decision not to tell her the whole story.

After what she just shared with me, there was no fucking way I wanted to tell her what kind of condition I was in after Tanya. Or what I had done to her.

Bella's wall had come tumbling down, yet I couldn't bring myself to tell her any details about Tanya.

"So you got burnt pretty bad?"

I nodded, hiding behind my carefully crafted façade and not wanting to admit anything more.

"Ok."

"Just 'ok'?"

"Yup." She turned back toward the tv effectively ending the conversation.

I made myself comfortable again as we both refocused our attentions elsewhere. My eyes were getting heavy and I could feel the fast approach of sleep.

"Thanks for telling me that, Bella."

"Thanks for letting me, Cullen," she said quietly.

When I woke up my pants were folded on the edge of the couch with another Post-It on them.

_Thanks for sharing with me too. –B._

_

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_***peeks through fingers* Hate me? Hey at least he called Victoria out... **

**I know these two haven't done the dirty yet, just give them some time. xxoo**

**Me: Oh, hello review button, how are you?**

**RB: Well, I'd feel a lot better if people clicked on me...**

**You heard him... click away :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Welcome back! Thanks for sticking with me this far... you won't regret it ;)**

**Big, huge, GINORMOUS, thanks to TwificPromotions who gave "Masquerade" an incredibly sweet review on their blog. The link is on my profile if you haven't checked it out yet!**

**Squishy tackle hugs and kisses to my glorious beta Jarkin33 (twitter: jaimearkin) without her, my world would be darker. **

**Disclaimer: I own a pair of lavender chucks with ruffles, SM owns all things Twilight, all things Twilight own me.**

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**Chapter 15**

**BPOV**

I snuck out of Edward's house as soon as he was really asleep. I had to get out of there. The air around us was thick with tension from unspoken words and the fact I still wanted to pounce on him.

So much had been said between us and yet, at the same time, it wasn't enough. It left feeling fuzzy and my brain refused to process it all.

We had clearly surpassed being "friends" or whatever we were before and moved on to something… else. But I couldn't find a label for it.

The ground was wet and cool beneath my bare feet as I trudged across the street. My jeans smelled vaguely of Edward when I had pulled them on earlier.

_I might have to invest in his laundry detergent_.

I unlocked my door fully prepared to collapse into a mid-day coma.

"And where the fuck have you been?"

"Hello to you too, bitch," I said to Alice. "Who peed in your cheerios?"

She was curled up on the couch swaddled in a thick blanket looking quite glum.

"Nothing, sorry. Never mind," she sighed. "But seriously, where were you? We went to Wolfe's last night and Jake said you took off?"

Bless Jake and his ability to know when and when not to say things.

"Well, Edward got there early, but wasn't feeling well… so when I got there Jake let me take him home and I ended up staying, making sure he was ok. Uh, over night."

She narrowed her eyes at me, clearly seeing through my bullshit as I sat down next to her. "Well, that is a giant load of shit Bella Swan. But I'm not going to press because one, I'm too fucking lazy right now. And two, I'm thinking you wouldn't tell me anyway."

"Like that would stop you from trying…" I looked at my friend sensing something deeper than her rain-soaked Vogue had upset her. "Alice, what's up?"

"Nothing," her normally chipper voice cracked a little and I saw a tear dissolve into the pillow under her head.

"Al… you can talk to me."

She wiped another tear. "I think… I don't trust myself with Jasper," she whispered.

"Sweetie why? Every time I've been around you guys you seem like you're off in your own little bliss world."

"That's just it! I get close super fast and end up getting burned. It's happened over and over and I really don't want that this time. It feels… different with Jasper."

"But that's good isn't it? So it won't be like the other times."

"I thought those times were different too," she huffed. "It's a vicious fucking cycle and I don't want to screw it up."

"Jasper really likes you Alice. I don't think he's going anywhere."

She snorted, "Yeah, because I haven't slept with him yet."

I was floored. Not that my bestie was a floozy or anything but when she really liked a guy she usually didn't hold back.

"But I thought… he's spent the night and stuff? After the party…"

"He wanted to, that's for sure. We click insanely well, and Bella, when he barely touches me it hits me _everywhere_," she chuckled. "But I couldn't stand the thought of him taking off once he got what he wanted. Not with this one."

"Can you talk to him about it?"

"Oh yeah, because bringing up the 'ex-file' a few weeks in is such a good idea," she rolled her eyes.

"I'm serious, bitch. Jasper has an old soul or something. I think if you explained some things to him he might wait for _you_ to be ready, instead of you chaining off your snatch with barbed wire," I giggled.

"Relationship Yoda are you?" she did the little creature's voice dead-on and I cracked up. "You ever think of taking some of your own advice?"

"I don't have anyone to take my own advice with, or something like that," she looked at me confused. "Fuck off, you know what I mean."

"What the fuck ever Bella. Like your panties weren't totally soaked after you rode Edward in front of everyone on Friday."

My mouth dropped open and I couldn't think of a response other than, 'fuck yeah!' but I decided not to go with that.

"Alice, we're just friends."

"And I don't get off in the shower." I shot her a look. "Oh, are we not sharing things that are ridiculously untrue?"

"Ugh! You are quite annoying for someone so small, you know that right?"

"You know I'm right though. I could tell the night we all met. Victoria was a cock-up on his part, that's for fucking sure, but I think you guys would be good together."

"Alice…" I groaned.

"I know, I know. I'll stay out of it," she smiled, but then her face got very serious. I'd only seen this look several times and kind of freaked me out. "Bella, look. You, me, and Rose, we're as close as they come. But I'm no fool. I know there's stuff you don't want to tell us about why you don't date anymore,"

I opened my mouth to protest.

"And it's _not_ just because of James. Although the fucker did a number on you, I remember. But sweetie, if this could be real between you and Edward, I think you owe it to yourself not to shut it down so fast."

I chewed over her words and a sharp pang in my heart almost made me spill the entire sordid story right then. She would be there for me and I would probably cry for days, but I just didn't have it in me.

"I just… I don't know yet. Physically? I think about ripping his pants off and doing him in front of the entire class all the fucking time. Emotionally, I think we both have some baggage…"

"Bella! There is always baggage one way or the other. You obviously like the guy, whether he knows it or not, because you sure as fuck tease him enough."

"You're one to talk! Jasper probably has a permanent hard on thanks to you!"

She giggled profusely, "I said I didn't sleep with him. I definitely didn't leave him hanging. It was just too pretty not to."

I rolled my eyes. "You and Rose should fucking write Cosmo I swear."

"Bitch please. They couldn't handle us!"

I laughed because it was true. That magazine was tame compared to the wealth of knowledge my friends had somehow acquired over the years.

Once our laughter had died down she got all serious on me again. This was a record for her.

"Bella, you know I'm here for you right?" I nodded. "I know you and Jake are tight because you go way back together, but that doesn't mean I can't understand ok?"

I nodded again. "Thanks, Alice. You know I love you right?"

She lunged up and squeezed me hard. "I know."

Even though nothing had really been said on my part, knowing she would be there for me if I ever did come clean meant enough.

We pulled apart and I saw her slyly wipe her eye. "I still think you should talk to Jasper."

"I still think you should fuck Edward," she smirked.

"I still think you're an omniscient little bitch."

"I still think you're a closeted perv who needs to let her freak flag fly."

"Cunt," I laughed.

"Wanna-be whore!"

We fell into a fit of giggles and eventually slipped into couch potato mode with Rose joining us later when she came back from Emmett's. I didn't realize how much I missed the two of them lately. Classes had picked up which normally kept us busy, but with their respective boys in the picture now, it felt like we hadn't had any time together.

The rest of the night was spent with one "I swear I'm sick" phone call to Jake to get out of my shift, take-out, wine, and a marathon of the most non-chick-flick movies we owned. We also made a promise to set aside some time for just the three of us at least once a week.

The next day Jasper came to pick Alice up before I left for my now double shift. I shot her a pointed look as she walked out the door and she promptly flipped me off.

I was nervous about tomorrow's class to say the least. I hadn't heard from Edward since Friday. However I had seen him…

Now that I knew it was his house in direct view from my window, I couldn't help but sneak a peek. Ok. A few peeks. Fuck it, I stared.

Edward's blinds were cracked late Sunday night so that I could get a decent picture. I watched him practice or play or whatever he called it. Sadly I couldn't hear anything but I loved watching him. I even took it so far as to keep all the lights off in my room so that he couldn't see me. Slightly stalker-esque? Yes. Completely worth it? Fuck yes.

His eyes would close and even though I couldn't hear the music, I could almost see it move through him. Edward was so beautiful it hurt and I wasn't sure how much longer I could stand being near him without jumping him.

That Monday I sat farther in the back than usual, somehow thinking if I wasn't physically near him it would at least deter my suddenly raging hormones. As if they weren't bad enough before. But now that I knew this little nugget of information about him, it was like some other side of me had sprung to life: this innate desire to take care of him and make him happy took over.

So naturally, when he checked with me Wednesday to confirm that afternoon, I was an utter bitch to him. My brain, heart and mouth apparently all have minds of their own.

I was starting to lose my cool around him. This never happened. It was like the more I tried to remain normal around him, the spazzier I became. I went to my storage room that night and really worked on some stuff. There were some ideas buzzing around my head for a new piece that I was thinking could be my class project.

Thank jeebus I didn't actually have to perform it in front of anyone because as soon as I started play the notes that had been running through my head, I knew exactly where their inspiration came from.

I hid my inner spazz surprisingly well over the next week, only managing to _almost_ cream myself when he placed his hand over mine when going over a complicated section. If Edward noticed my visible shiver he didn't show it. I felt my cheeks warming, willing my body to stop reacting to him, at least while he was in the room. Later, I knew I would be busting open the new pack of batteries I just put in my funsies drawer.

Edward picked out a piece of music that he thought, if we worked on the whole semester, would be pretty impressive to Banner if I could get it right.

I wanted to junk punch Rachmaninoff.

I had never worked on something so complex in all my years of playing and by the end of our session, I probably would have throttled Edward for picking it if he weren't so fucking sexy and it would be a crime against humanity and my girly bits to kill him.

Over the next couple of weeks I worked my ass off. Between my English classes, which were actually my major so I couldn't slack, working at the bar, Wednesdays with Edward and my own practice sessions in the middle of the night, I was fucking beat.

Oh, and not to mention that I was surrounded by fucking couples almost every damn day. Literally, fucking. Alice and Jasper had their much-needed talk and she was now giving Jenna Jameson a run her for her money. Rose and Emmett fucked like bunnies every chance they got. And I got to diddle myself.

Awesome.

I know how to get myself off yes, but random little platonic touches from Edward were starting to not to have the same effect. It was just so fucking frustrating. There I was having this inner battle with myself over whether or not to shove him to the ground and just have my way with him, and he sits there all professional and business like trying to keep me focused.

Whatever energy I had leftover after getting myself off ended up in my music. I had taken to locking myself in that tiny storage room for hours at a time. Sometimes working on my stuff, other times playing stuff I could sing to.

Needless to say, I was spreading myself pretty thin and on the verge of truly wearing myself out.

My exhaustion and sexual frustration were working my last nerve and come another Wednesday night with Edward, he became the unfortunate target.

* * *

**EPOV**

"Bella, are you ok tonight?" I asked. She had some serious bitchface going on and I was actually pretty intimidated. Her shoulders were tense and whatever was causing this mood was affecting her playing. We'd been working for almost half an hour and she wasn't improving

She huffed at me. "Yes, I'm fine, Cullen. Just tired."

I highly fucking doubted this. Ever since that night she took care of me, I could sense her distancing herself from me. I was so fucking pissed at myself for scaring her away like that. But she was easily the most beautifully frustrating creature I had ever met.

Bella was putting some space between us; I could feel that. But I could also feel her skin warm under my touch. I could see that delicious blush when I forced her to sit up straight or place her fingers on the correct keys. I didn't have to do any of that. But my body was screaming at me to break the touch barrier any way I could.

Since Victoria had thankfully, albeit abruptly, been cut from my life, my head was clear. I attempted to call her after that dreadful night and at least apologize for what I remembered saying to her. She shocked the ever-loving hell out of me by begging for another chance, and I firmly, but slightly more politely, told her I wasn't interested. That earned me a lovely "you're not even fucking worth it" before she hung up.

I had grinned at the phone. It was good Bella hadn't told me what really went down between her and Victoria, but I was glad shit ended when it did before anything serious had happened.

The remaining percentage of my brain that hadn't been focused on Bella before made a quick turnaround. Except for the two percent leftover to fantasize about my mystery music angel.

I had heard her several more times in the past weeks. Naturally I wanted to find out who she was, but I also liked the mystery of it. Since the first one had turned out to be such a fucking bust, I was hesitant to try and discover anything about her. So I let her beautiful voice and hypnotic playing wash over me as I embraced the secret. I could tell when she was working on her own stuff. The frustrated banging on the notes had become quite familiar to me now. Though they still made me jump, I appreciated the offending noise because it reminded me that she was real.

Bella's stumble on the notes shook me out of my daydreaming.

"If you cross under with your thumb, you would get that right," I offered.

That got me an annoyed eye roll but she tried it again, and still messed it up.

I sighed. "Bella why don't we take a break?"

Her shoulders slumped, "Fuck, I know I'm sucking tonight. I'm sorry."

"Everyone has an off day," I shrugged secretly thinking no one is ever this off. "Why don't you just try and relax for a few, I'll go and check some stuff in my office and we'll try again in about ten minutes?"

"Yeah, ok," she nodded and took in a deep breath. As she did a little smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

I left her there, and caught up on some e-mails, trying to give her enough time to clear her head. She said she was tired and I went by the student lounge to grab us some coffee.

I was on my way back, trudging through the ominous looking hall when I heard it.

_Her._

Coming from… fuck that couldn't have been right. I had stopped walking and shook my head to right myself.

_No, it wasn't…_

I crept down the hall so as not to disturb the angel. My heart was damn near pounding out of my chest at the possibility that I knew her all along, and was too fucking blind to see.

My feet stopped behind the door of my and Bella's practice room and I peered through the tiny window.

Her fingers ghosted over the keys with a grace I had yet to witness. Her body swayed with the music and she took a deep breath before continuing to sing in her ethereal voice I wouldn't match to her normally.

_But watching stars without you, my soul cried._

_Heaving heart is full of pain, oh, oh, the aching._

_'Cause I'm kissing you..._

I froze. I was completely and utterly captivated. How could I have not known? Her voice, although different from the beautiful song I knew, was rich, beautiful, and wrought with emotion.

My eyes closed as a wrecking ball of emotion hit me in the gut. I felt myself falling. Falling for Bella. In every possible way.

It didn't matter that we barely we knew each other. It didn't matter that she seemed to be avoiding me. It sure as fuck didn't matter that I was her teacher.

The coffee fell from my hands, splattering across the white floor. The tunnel vision had returned and I was compelled by force outside myself to move to her.

I burst through the door. Bella flipped around clutching a hand to her chest.

"Cullen? What the- are you ok?" Her eyes widened as she took in my darkened expression.

There were no words for me to say. Bella's gravity pulled me toward her. I took the two quick steps to reach her, grabbed her arm and yanked her to me.

"Seriously, Edward, what-"

I took a fraction of a second to look deep in her eyes before I crushed my lips to hers. Bella tensed under me, obviously confused by my sudden prowess, but I couldn't stop. I had to feel her. Taste her. Touch her.

My lips became frantic searching for any kind of response from her. I cupped the back of her head with one hand, and circled her waist with the other. I heard a little sigh and then felt her melt into me.

Bella's hands tightened into a vice grip on my shoulders and her lips no longer fought mine. We melded together in a tangle of limbs and soft moans. I slipped my tongue between her soft lips and she welcomed me into her mouth. She tasted so fucking good. Our tongues collided, fierce and hungry as we both gave in.

I broke away, finally needing air, and began tenderly kissing her face, down her cheeks and across her jaw. Her breathing was slightly labored and skin flushed a rosy pink.

"Cullen?" she whispered, her eyes still closed.

"It's you. It's been you. The whole time," I murmured between kisses savoring each Bella flavor.

Another little noise escaped from her mouth before I captured her lips again. She pulled away after a bit this time, more confusion clouding her face.

"Please… I don't understand," she whimpered.

I took in her beauty again, and it damn near stunned me into a loss of words. "Umm, I've been listening to you. Here, at night in my office. When you play. Bella… you're fucking incredible," I shook my head. "I can't believe I didn't know… you don't sound like that in front of me…"

"You've…" she paused taking a shaky breath. "You've been listening to me practice?"

I nodded.

"And you like it…?"

I profusely nodded again, grinning like a fool. Her cheeks warmed again with that delectable blush and I my jeans tightened considerably. I couldn't bear to not be touching her anymore so I gripped her hips, walking her back toward the piano. Out legs collided with the bench and I kicked the offensive object to the wall before slamming the lid over the keys.

Bella's eyes were hooded and I saw her little pink tongue dart out and lick her lips. I groaned and pressed myself against her, trapping her body between the instrument and myself.

She let out at gasp as my cock ground into her and I gripped her hips, lifting her until she rested on the little ledge and putting her heat where I wanted it most.

I shifted again pressing into her as my lips attacked hers once more.

Bella's hands ravished me sending chills and flames across my body. I had never wanted a woman's touch so badly in my life. And then I felt them in my hair as her lips worked my neck, tugging, giving me reassurance I wasn't the only one who had wanted this.

My hips moved of their own accord, thrusting into her. I was painfully hard at this point but the friction against Bella felt so damn good I didn't even want to stop and undo my zipper.

"Edward…" I heard my name in a raspy whisper, and broke away to look at her once more.

"You are so fucking beautiful," I said hoarsely. I continued my motions but began sucking down her neck and to that delectable collarbone I had wanted to tongue since the first time I met her. My hands skimmed across her perfect tits and she whimpered, pulling me impossibly closer.

Bella squirmed against my hips, wrapping a leg around my hips and I bucked into her hard, shoving the piano against the wall. The instrument groaned as her head rolled back in pleasure and I almost came undone there, but not before taking her with me.

We engulfed each other, though remaining fully clothed. Her silky hair wove around my greedy fist as I used the other to hold her to me tighter still. Breathy moans, murmurs of each other's name and profanity echoed through tiny space as we franticly searched for our release.

"Fuck, oh holy fuck…" her nails dug into my spine as Bella's breathing stopped all together. It came out in one fell whoosh a few seconds later right by my ear followed by sexiest thing I had ever heard in life.

"Please… cum for me," she panted as her pussy pulsed against me.

Two erratic thrusts later Bella's name was bursting from my lips as I crushed her to me, lost in the euphoria of easily the strongest orgasm in my life.

_Until I get her naked… until I see her bouncing on top of me… until I pound her from behind… _

Jesus Christ. The floodgates had officially opened.

I pulled back, opening my eyes to the woman before me. She was blushing wildly.

"Bella… you can't do that to me," I growled.

"Do what?"

"Blush like that and expect me to keep my hands off you."

"Maybe I don't want you to do that…" she smirked.

"Fucking Christ woman…"

My lips were on hers again, sucking hungrily at the distinct Bella taste.

"Edward… as much I'd love round two… we're at school," she spoke against my jaw leaving a trail of kisses as I caressed her back.

"Shit. You're right. I didn't even think! Bella, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to attack you like that I just…"

"Please! Did it sound like I had any complaints?" she giggled nervously.

I cupped her face and gently brushed my thumb across her cheek. "Still…"

I leaned down and chastely covered her lips with mine, lightly brushing her hair back from her face.

"I should have done that instead."

When I finally stepped back from between her legs, she slid down adjusting her herself and I took the chance to check out my damage as well.

_Well… good thing it's fucking dark out._

We were both quiet for a moment as as I thought about how this was the last reaction I thought I would get from her.

"Umm, not to push my luck or anything… but Bella, I thought you, well, it felt like you were pushing away from me, ever since that night…?"

She nodded and ran her hands over her face. "I was… I just,"

"Just what?" I prodded and sat back down next to her on the bench.

"I like you, Edward," she whispered and her blush went wild as I sucked in a sharp breath. "I don't tell just anyone that much information about myself. But for some reason I felt, I _feel_, so comfortable around you, I wanted to share. And that kind of freaked me out…

"So naturally, because I'm a weirdo, I tried to put some distance between," she gestured to the air between us, "whatever this is, or was?"

I understood and at least I had an explanation for why she hadn't really been talking to me. Even when the six of us all had gone out to dinner one night she sat so far away and barely said a word to me.

"So, because you liked me… you were an asshole?" I chuckled. "Going to push me down on the playground next?"

She laughed and shoved my shoulder. I grabbed her hand pulling her lips to mine once more like it was the most natural thing in the world. It was new and thrilling but there was something utterly right about my lips on this woman that stirred something primal within me.

"We should go…" Bella said.

"Mmhmm," I nuzzled down her neck.

_Yes, back to my place. Where I can fuck you senseless. Mark you as mine._

That thought shook me out of my Bella stupor. I had never felt so possessive over anything, anyone, before. It was a little unnerving.

"Cullen… I really do have a paper to work on," she pulled away and I pouted, which gave me another lyrical giggle. "But um," she blushed again and my cock twitched, "we can talk about this more or something… Friday?"

She looked nervous like I was going to turn her down or some shit. I cupped both my hands around face. "That sounds perfect, Bella."

My heart squeezed as a breathtaking smile stretched across her face.

"Ok, good," she sighed and started to gather her stuff to leave. "Are you heading out or…?"

"Fuck, I actually do have some stuff I need to work on for my lecture Friday. So I'll probably hang around a while longer."

Bella nodded, "You'll have everyone eating out of the palm of your hand. Don't worry."

Her words warmed me. "Really? I've never been on the other side of the lectern before and it's hard to tell if anything is actually sinking in."

"You're good at this, Cullen, the whole teaching thing. I think it fits you really well."

"Wow, um thanks?"

She rolled her eyes, "Stop. You know you're good. Now stop fishing for compliments!" Bella made her way to the door and my fingers ached to touch her again. I scooped her up in one last embrace, shoving her against the wall, making sure she knew how much I wanted her.

When I pulled back her eyes were glazed over again. I smirked, my inner caveman relishing in the effect I had on her. "Goodnight, beautiful."

Bella cleared her throat a little, "Yeah… 'night, Cullen," she squeaked and slipped out the door.

I fell back against the wall, clutching my chest. Bella Swan fucking owned me.

A little bit later I found myself attempting to focus on my lecture notes when a light knock sounded on the door.

_Fuck me. Did she come back? I don't know if I can hold back from taking her over my desk if –_

"Professor Banner? You're here late. What can I do for you?" I said while opening the door for him. I hoped the disappointment wasn't that apparent on my face.

The normal light in his eyes was gone and he looked, well, quite uncomfortable.

"Edward, I'm glad you're still here. We need to talk about something."

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**A little faith goes a long way, right? Right? **

**To everyone adding me on alerts, favorites, or just reading, thank you so much! I would love to hear from you, feedback is much appreciated! Now, make me a happy panda and review. Do it. Do it nao ;)**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Sorry this took a wee bit longer... but the chapter itself is also a wee bit longer, so please forgive! **

**Huge massive thanks/spanks/gropes to my beta jaimearkin. Without her this would suck monkey balls. Oh, and she made me a SWEET video, the link is on my profile, go look, I command you!**

**Links to songs mentioned in this chapter, also on the profile as well as others.**

**Disclaimer: I own one too many historical fiction books on Tudor England, SM owns all things Twilight, all things Twilight own me.**

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**Chapter 16**

**BPOV**

I wasn't sure how I got to my car. I had absolutely no clue how I made it back to my apartment. And I sure as fuck don't remember seeing Rose and Emmett half-naked on the couch.

Ok, that was a lie, but I was so utterly blissed out that I didn't say anything as they scrambled for their clothes when I walked in.

"Fuck, Bella! Sorry we thought… Bella?" Rose took in my expression. "Oh. My. God."

"Hmm? What?" I was blindly searching for something in the kitchen.

"You got laid!" she screeched.

"No I didn't," I mumbled into the fridge pulling out a bottle of water.

"Edward finally manned up?" Emmett yelled.

Tingles shot through my stomach and straight to my already drenched panties at the mere mention of his name. I turned around ready to run away from this line of questioning but Rose was right behind me.

"Oh you SO got laid!"

I felt my cheeks warm again as I squirmed past her.

"Umm night, guys!" I called from down the hall.

"Isabella Swan! You dirty whore! You're GOING to tell me what happened eventually!" I heard from behind my now closed door.

I flopped on my bed, my previously constrained smile now fully stretching across my face. My cheeks hurt but I couldn't stop it if I wanted to.

_Edward wants me. ME. Oh universe, I owe you for this one._

I could still feel his hands, his tongue, his lips, his… fucking Christ I wanted to go again.  
"Sans clothes this time!" my vag yelled at me.

When he came back into the practice room the look in his eyes took my breath away. I had no idea what had changed, but as soon as he touched me I was on fire. Every sexually tensioned knot that had been building over the last few weeks simultaneously released and tightened at the same time his lips touched mine.

Something exploded in each of us. Tentativeness was thrown out the window and I think we both knew that that moment had been building since we first met.

I didn't know what it meant. I just knew that I felt right in his arms. I wasn't scared or nervous about where things could have gone. I felt so safe. With James when it came to the whole rounding the bases thing, I took it really slow. He was the first guy I had dated since my mess of a high school experience.

A giggle burst from my lips. To say I was deliriously giddy would be an understatement. I knew I was in trouble when I actually wasn't opposed to having sex in that tiny room. As long as it was with Edward, I couldn't really give a fuck if anyone saw. But by some miraculous feat, I was able to pull away long enough to get my wits about me, and I really did have a paper to work on. Though lord knows how I was going to concentrate on anything now.

My focus remained on the tingling sensation still running over my body. Fuck, it still felt like I could feel the indention of his cock on my jeans. I could feel his hands wrap themselves around my hair, tugging just the right amount. His mouth was firm and needy at first and then graduated into a slow desire, burning me through. I had never felt anything like this before. I actually wasn't aware of how much sensation my body was capable of.

The paper that I was working on for my British lit class got pushed to the back burner as the desire to bust open my funsies drawer became too much. Great decision at the time, _thrice times_, but left me standing outside the campus coffee place at 5am the next morning to write like mad until it was due. It was probably the most poorly written paper I had ever turned in, but my vag was smirking up at me giving me the "you know you don't really give a shit, now go find us Edward" look.

_Smug bitch_.

But she was right.

The day floated by as I was on some Edward induced high event thought I didn't see him all day. Friday morning however, I shot straight out of bed. My palms were sweaty. My heart was racing. I was grinning like a fool. I had turned into a preteeny, girly, Disney mess.

I shook that off real quick. It's only a guy. It's only Edward.

_Sigh, Edward…_

Who was I kidding. My gut, my heart, my giddy vag knew that he was not just any guy. My head however was the only one attempting to play it cool. I decided to listen to that instead.

I knew we weren't going to kiss or anything in front of the class, or show anything for that matter. Maybe I was just hopeful for some secret acknowledgement of what had transpired between us.

A grin. Subtle wink. Head nod. His fuck-me-now smirk. Anything, just so I knew he was still in this with me.

I pulled open the door and my heart fluttered. He was crouched by the lectern setting up some slides. His ass looked way too bitable for his, and my, own good.

"Hey Edward," I said, totally casual. Except for the way my cheeks burned, I think I totally pulled it off like we hadn't dry humped each other's bones the other night.

He straightened and turned toward me. His eyes were narrowed and utterly cold. I felt myself recoil. "Miss Swan. Take your seat," he said with a chilling indifference.

I felt my mouth drop a little but I quickly retreated away into the auditorium chairs. It felt like I had been slapped. Punched in the stomach. He hadn't called me Miss Swan since the first day of class. Something had happened… right?

The dark side of my brain poked at me until I acknowledged the one possibility that was the most likely, but the one I really didn't want to hear.

He regretted it. Everything. Edward changed his mind. He didn't want me. He got off and got out. Edward did this with all the girls in the class. I was just dumb enough to believe I was different.

My thoughts ran in the same painful circles. I just couldn't understand. What had changed?

"Miss Swan!"

I jerked and nearly fell out of my seat.

"Are you with us today Miss Swan? Or is that pen you're chewing on just infinitely more interesting than anything I have to say?" Edward barked at me.

_What the fuck…_

My temper flared as it always does when anyone decides they want to play poke the bear with me. A scowl spread across my face before I repeated damn near verbatim what Edward had been saying. Whoever said being able to chat online, while writing a paper and watching television at the same time was a bad way to learn was sorely mistaken. I could multitask like a motherfucker. I sat there smugly after I finished resisting the urge to flip him off in front of the entire class.

Edward's eyes narrowed before he slipped into the mask of indifference again.

"Very well, Miss Swan," he then continued on with the rest of his lecture.

I bolted from the room as soon as Edward was done. I was freaking the fuck out, still unsure how to handle any other interaction with him. He didn't try to contact me either. I was hoping for another e-mail or something. A fucking smoke signal would have been nice. But I was so lost, sitting there confused in my apartment, playing right into the hands of my anxious nature and overanalyzing everything I did.

Rose and Alice were thankfully too wrapped up in their double date plans to notice my serious mopage. I pulled the "exhausted" excuse for why I was in my sweats and tank top with no bra at two in the afternoon watching Judge Judy so they left me alone.

I had to get a grip of myself. There I was in a serious downward spiral over a guy I wasn't even technically dating, who technically didn't break up with me, who technically didn't do _anything_ really, except bruise my ego and not flirt shamelessly with me in a classroom full of people.

I was a fucking idiot. I was not going to let this get to me. I knew Edward better than this and eventually he was going to talk to me. Whether or not I wanted to hear the reason behind his sudden coldness or not, he would at least give me some sort explanation. I was sure of it.

With this resolved in my head, my night of no plans suddenly turned into a pampering session. I ordered an insane amount of Thai food, cracked open some red wine, turned up Billie Holiday and drew myself a hot bubble bath.

Lavender and vanilla surrounded my senses as I slipped into the hot water. A glass of wine, downed a little too quickly, and I was feeling the knots slowly undo themselves in my shoulders. All I needed was a cat and some chocolate and I was the epitome of a typical single girl stereotype. I didn't give a shit.

My eyes were just beginning to close when I heard the doorbell and persistent knocking.

_Stupid delivery people, they told me I had at least an hour and half…_

I grabbed my towel half-assed wrapped it around me as I stumbled still dripping wet to the door.

More knocking.

"Just a minute!" I called while rummaging for my cash.

I made sure the towel was at least covering the essentials before I threw the door open.

"Sorry, I thought you said-"

My eyes snapped up to meet my favorite green ones.

Suddenly I was irrationally angry with the man before me for treating me like such shit in front of my peers.

"What the fuck do you want?" I seethed.

His gaze went from shocked to heated as he took in my form. I felt his eyes travel up and down, stopping inquisitively on my legs. I realized he had never seen my tattoo before, and I instinctively crossed my right leg in front of it. He licked his lips, "Do you always answer the door naked?" Edward growled.

"Do you always just drop by people's homes and accuse them of things? Or better yet, do you always just grope a girl and then treat her like complete ass the next time you see her?"

"Can you please just get a fucking robe or something?" His hands yanked his hair as he tried to avert his eyes before they shamelessly rested on my lily-covered calf.

"No. Tell me what you're doing here." I crossed my arms in defiance.

He looked at me and the coldness was completely gone, replaced with desperation.

"Bella… fuck. I came to apologize. The way I treated you in class today was, well really shitty, and I'm sorry." His voice dropped at the end making him sound legitimately torn up, but I wasn't buying it yet. I still didn't know why.

"Yeah, it was. But why?"

His eyes raked over my body again and I could feel my blush spreading. "Cullen!" I yelled and his eyes shot up to mine again. "Why?"

He shifted his weight and started fidgeting. "Um, well uh…the other night. We uh,"

"Good lord, spit it the fuck out."

"Banner saw us through the fucking window. He came to talk to me about it after, wondering if was doing that with all the female students I worked with. He was originally going to talk to me about how the department, depending on how the rest of the semester goes, wants to offer me a permanent spot here," he took a deep breath gauging my reaction. I was stunned into silence so he continued.

"He's not going to tell anyone what he saw, but he told me, if he catches anything between us again, the job offer is gone. I assured him that nothing happened besides that one time and that… nothing else would."

"Why… why couldn't you tell me this yesterday?"

"I guess I was still, processing? I couldn't really focus, all I wanted to think about, all I _could_ think about was you." He stepped closer to me, still not inside my apartment, but close enough so that I could feel his breath wash over my face, making my insides tingle.

But I'll be damned if I was giving in that easily.

"So you just decided to be an ass to me instead? I really see the logic in this, Cullen."

"If I wasn't an 'ass' to you, I would have grabbed in you in front of the entire class, including Banner, and fucked you until you fainted."

His eyes bore into mine as I took a sharp intake of breath. I couldn't find it in me to be offended, oh no. Instead I felt my clit twitch and the coil in my stomach tighten with those words. Then the cocky bastard had to go and smirk effectively making me drip down my thighs.

I clenched them together and took a steadying breath. "So, you still want me then?"

"Bella… I've never wanted something, some_one_ as much I want you," he whispered.

"But you've been told to stay away, and if we get caught, you won't get a job?" I clarified.

"Not to mention it could hurt you too," Edward added.

I nodded thinking this through, and came to the conclusion of: fuck it.

"So…" I took a step closer to him, blatantly invading his space and watched in pleasure as he swallowed hard. "You're going to stay away from me?" I purred. What the fuck? I had never been this brazen before, but he clearly enjoyed my newfound inner temptress. Edward's knuckles turned white he was gripping the doorframe so hard.

"Um, yes. Until the end of the semester."

"Edward…?" I trailed a finger down his chest ever so lightly, and he let out the sexiest throaty groan I've heard in my life.

"What?"

"Do you always do you what you're told?"

He paused and shifted his eyes from mine.

"Oh my god… you do don't you?"

"No, I don't."

"Oh, you so do. You were that kid? Never did anything wrong. Kept everyone happy?" I giggled and shook my head.

"Bella, I'm just trying to do what's right here, I don't want to give up on whatever this is," he gestured to the space between us. "But I think we could manage to hold off for a few months?"

Edward's eyes were pleading with mine and he completely squashed my previous theories on why he was being such a dick earlier today. However, I had had a taste of the goods already and now I wanted more. Like licking the tip of an ice cream cone. Just enough to get the flavor and realize you want to grab a giant spoon and finish off the entire pint.

I was going to have to push him. We would have to be careful, but there was no way in fuck the universe could dangle this edible specimen of a man in front of me and then take it away. Fuck that.

"Well, I know _I _could… the real question is, are _you_ going to be able to?"

"Um, what?"

"Stay away… resist… this?" I slow started to the pull the towel from its tucked position under my arms.

"Fucking Christ! Stop! Don't fucking move," he growled looking like he was about devour my face.

I gripped the edges of the white terry cloth, now dangerously close to opening right in front of him and I couldn't help but giggle at his strained expression. "Yeah, Cullen. You'll be able to stay away, no problem."

Edward slammed his hand against the doorframe, grunting loudly. "Bella! I'm trying to do what's right here. You're not helping matters."

I re-tucked my wrap securely. "And I don't intend to."

He let out a huge sigh and tugged at his hair some more. "What do you mean…?"

"Let's just say I'm not going to let some backassward old teacher tell me what I can do and who I can do it too. Sorry, not going to happen."

I got the smirk again. "And if I'm not a willing participant?"

I glanced down, eyeing his strained jeans. "Sure sure, Edward. Your unwillingness is so evident," I giggled. "But of course I won't make you… we'll just see how long it takes you to give in…" I trailed off as the delivery guy walked up behind Edward.

He handed me my obscenely large bag of food taking his time scanning me as well and I heard Edward growl at him.

"Crap, my wallet is in my room, I'll just," I turned causing the slit of my towel to open up nicely, flashing some serious thigh.

"Stop. Jesus fucking Christ…" Edward was frantically shoving a wad of cash at the poor man.

"Sir, this is too much," he stammered.

"It's yours if you stop fucking look at her right now," he snarled.

"Sorry, I uh, thanks," he practically shut his eyes and stumbled back down the hall.

"You know, he wouldn't have been ogling me if you hadn't shown up and interrupted my bath in the first place. All your fault," I huffed.

"Oh yeah, it's completely my fault you deem it appropriate to answer your door in fucking flimsy piece of cloth. I get that."

"Whatever, Cullen. I have some red wine and a massive amount of food to tend to. So if we're done…" I started to shut the door.

"So you're just going to tease me until I crack? That's your plan?"

I smiled and shrugged. "Bye… _Professor Cullen_," I smirked and as the door was just about to close I turned and slowly let the towel pool at my ankles, giving him just enough time to catch a glimpse of my ass before it clicked shut.

A frustrated groan reverberated through the door and all I could do was laugh.

This was going to be way too much fun.

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**EPOV**

It was a Friday night, I was sitting at home alone, and was sure I was going to get a blister on my goddamn hand from wacking off so much.

Bella in the fucking towel.

Bella, still dripping wet, with that fuck-hot tattoo wrapping around her leg, in that fucking towel.

Bella, still dripping wet, with that fuck-hot tattoo wrapping around her leg, _dropping_ that fucking towel.

I didn't know how it was possible but my cock twitched again.

This was going to be the worst kind of torture, wrapped in Bella induced self-pleasuring.

As much as Bella and I had gotten to know each other over the last few weeks, I still had no idea what she was capable of. I was going to have to hold strong. I was so damn close to yanking that godforsaken towel off her earlier and just bending her over, fucking her senseless.

Again, she stirred something within me that was all consuming. I had never felt this _primal_ with any other girl. Ever. Some kind of inner caveman was yelling at me telling me to club her over the head and just make her ours, and I was almost inclined to take his advice.

Almost.

I really wanted this job. I never knew I was going to like teaching so much. It was fulfilling something I think I had been looking for, but never consciously knew I wanted it.

Most of all, I _really_ didn't want to get Bella into trouble. She had so much potential and the last thing she needed was this kind of bullshit to drag her down.

So I was going to wait. Resist her advances. Say no to her delectable smell. No to her laugh that made my heart squeeze. No to her lips that called to me like a siren. No to that ass I wanted to bite and slap. No to the most incredible woman I had ever met.

_Yeah, really good plan jackass. _

I was in hell. Just the thought of our session next Wednesday had me questioning everything. How in the fuck could I expect myself not to jump her, knowing what happened in there last time. Hearing her play again. I was going to have to figure something out, maybe even cancel. Bella was smart. She could figure it out on her own.

No, I couldn't do that either. Banner would kill me and then I'd really be out of a job. I would just have to think "dead puppies" to keep my hands and dick at bay.

Cullen Family Fun Day was a nice distraction. Though I had to catch my parents up on the Victoria situation but I managed to leave out the part where I had a total melt down. My mom tried to be sympathetic but I could see in her eyes she knew it was coming.

Jasper fucking gushed over Alice and Emmett clammed up when my dad asked about Rosalie, in turn, making my mother squeal with delight that he found someone he was actually serious about.

So of course Esme insisted that they both invite their respective girls over on a future Sunday, but to let her know in advance so "the place won't be such a mess." Our house was spotless but at least I knew where I got my OCD cleanliness habit. I left feeling a little calmer.

I was thankful there was a test in class on Monday. At least that way Bella couldn't look at me and I could try to avoid looking at her without being noticed. I thought I was in the clear when I felt a tap on my shoulder as I was packing up everyone's papers.

"Professor Cullen?"

"Yes, Miss Swan. What can I do for you? Hopefully you didn't leave anything blank on your test?"

"Nah, that was easy," she shrugged. "I just wanted to remind you that I'm still short a pair of chucks."

My mouth dropped. She was going to bring that up here? "Miss Swan, I um… I'm sorry, of course-"

"Size seven. Any sports kind of store should have them. And I want the kelly green ones."

All I could do was nod. She had completely blindsided me.

"Great. Thanks," she smirked and bounced away.

I was thankful she didn't torture me anymore and disappointed that she didn't at the same time. I went that afternoon to get those damn shoes, having completely forgotten that I ruined hers on that fateful night.

I had to go to four fucking stores too. Apparently "kelly green" was just not a common color, but I had a feeling she knew this. I was mad and turned on at the same time. But two could play at this game.

It was a Monday so she was working at the bar. I walked in and I swear to fuck I almost ran back out. Bella was behind the bar in a threadbare black shirt that was so see-through I could easily make out the lilac bra she was wearing underneath. She was actually going to kill me. I clutched the shoebox in my hand and forced myself to walk to her.

"Your shoes, Miss Swan."

Bella looked a little stunned but quickly recovered. "Easy enough to find right?" She giggled and put the box behind the bar.

"Oh yeah, piece of cake."

"Mhmm, good. Well thanks," she smiled. "You sticking around? I need to run to the back and grab a case real quick."

"Yeah, sure why not. I guess it's after five."

Bella giggled and jump back over the bar. "Be right back."

I was checking some e-mails on my phone when a huge case of liquor plopped down next to me.

"The fuck? How did you manage to carry that?"

"I'm a lot stronger than I look, Cullen. It would do you well to remember that."

I was about to come back with something genius and snarky when this wall of a black guy with dreads snuck up behind Bella. He gave me the "shh" symbol right before covering Bella's eyes.

She let out a little shriek.

"Hey sugar, you know where a guy can get some good chronic around here?"

He had deep, Barry White-ish voice and to say I was confused by the interaction going on in front of me would have been a huge understatement.

A huge smile spread across Bella's face. "OH MY GOD!" She squealed, turned around jumping into the guy's python-like arms.

_Umm what the fuck?_

"Thad! What the hell are you doing here? Last I heard you guys were in L.A. and, holy fuck, are they here too?" She frantically looked around.

"Well hi to you too, Izzy!" His laugh rumbled through him as he hugged her back.

Bella had to jump down from his arms he was so tall, and when she did she punched him hard in the harm.

"Ow! What the fuck, Izz?"

"That's for not telling me you guys were in town. And it's Bella now, ok?"

He nodded and rubbed his arm. "Sure thing. So is Jake around? I was hoping to see him too."

"Nah, but Seth is in the back office crunching numbers as usual. So really, are you guys all here?"

I sat there and watched with rapt attention. I was feeling left out of this happy reunion, but had to remind myself that Bella had a life far outside from what I knew about her. A life that included huge, muscular men. Excellent.

"Yeah, we're all here. It's just uh, well, everyone else is at the hospital." Her mouth dropped open. "No, don't worry, everything is fine. Charlotte just um, got a little carried away in Vegas. You know how she is. Crazy girl ended punching some chick that was all up in Peter's business and-"

"Wait, who's Peter?"

"Oh shit, he's our new bass man. They've been a thing for while now, sorry, thought you knew. Anyway, she punched this girl, ended up breaking three fingers and spraining her wrist. Char fuckin' wailed on her, it was crazy."

"Oh shit… was she, um, you know?"

"Nah, she's clean. Just a volatile bitch as usual," he laughed.

Bella laughed right along. "Yeah, I remember. So why the surprise visit? And how'd you know I was working?"

"Garrett likes to check your Facebook every once in a while," he shrugged and Bella blushed furiously.

"_Who the fuck is this Garrett person and where can I bury him?" my caveman asked._

"Sooo you waited the entire drive from Vegas to Seattle before stopping at hospital?"

"Well, we didn't know anything was broken until we got here this morning and it had swelled up like a bitch, and now she's getting a cast… and, actually that's why I'm here to talk to you. Can we go talk, in private? If you've got a minute?"

For the first time Bella remembered that I was still there as she glanced around for customers.

"Uh yeah sure, I've got some time. Fuck, I'm sorry. Thad, this is a T.A. for one of my classes, Edward Cullen. Edward this is Thad, we go way back."

"Hey man, nice to meet you," he offered his bear claw of a hand.

"You too," I said as we shook.

Thad gestured to an unoccupied corner booth. I watched the two of them sit and from the look of it, the conversation got a little intense. Bella was shaking her head at something he said and I it looked like he was begging with her. At one point he covered her hands with hers and her shoulders slumped before she slowly nodded. Whatever Bella agreed to made him insanely happy as he started cheering and I heard something along the lines of "like old times!"

She was laughing along with him now when they walked back over to the bar.

"Ok, _Bella_, I'll text you with the time and place ok?"

"Sounds good, Thad. I don't have any big papers or anything due, so I'm pretty available."

"Cool chick, I'll see you later," he bear hugged her one more time before heading out.

"Bye, tell the guys I'll see them soon," Bella called after him.

"So, old friend?" I asked as she climbed back behind the bar.

"Um, yeah. You could say that I guess. Did you want a drink of something?"

The visit threw her off and her thoughts seemed entirely elsewhere. I felt like I was missing something, something big. Other than what Bella had told me about her mom, I knew nothing really about her past. She never mentioned high school or any of her old friends. I found myself desperately wanting to know her better and understand how she kept me guessing at every turn.

I checked my watch. "Damn it, I can't. I actually need to get started on grading everyone's tests if I want to have them all done by Friday."

"Yeah, sure sure. See you later, Cullen."

Bella turned around and robotically started organizing the new bottles.

I didn't know what was going on, but I could already tell it was going to drive me insane.

In class Wednesday, Bella came in what looked like pajamas and seemed as if she was going to fall asleep any second if it weren't for the little white cord she tried to hide in her hair. I could see her moving her lips every now and then, occasionally twitching her fingers and writing something down.

She bolted right after class ended and later I got an e-mail from her canceling our session for that afternoon. No explanation, no reschedule, nothing.

I met up with Jasper and Emmett Thursday for dinner and asked if they had seen Bella when they were over at the girls' place.

"I saw her for a hot minute Wednesday, but she was running out the door," Jasper shrugged. "Why?"

"She's been off in class this week and bailed on me Wednesday. Just hope she's ok…"

"Dude, you got it BAD," Emmett snorted.

"Even so, nothing is going to happen. At least not for while."

"Well, no moping bitch. We have just the thing. Apparently the girls are going to some concert tomorrow night and got us all tickets. Everyone is going, including Bella," Emmett taunted.

"What band?"

"I think they're called 'Plethora'? Kind of local maybe. Bella told Rose and Alice all about them and they seem pretty stoked. Apparently it's some sort of cover band but they do a bunch of different genres and stuff. Sounded fun," Jasper added.

"Yeah, maybe."

Emmett scoffed. "Don't give us that vague bullshit man. Just say you're coming and be done with it. What the fuck else are you going to do on a Friday night?"

As usual, he was right in his annoyingly blunt fashion, so I planned to go. Endure the torture that would be being around Bella without being to touch her, kiss her, hold her.

I was clearly a glutton for punishment, but there was no way in fuck I was backing out now, especially when Bella asked me after class Friday if I was going to show. Damn vixen voodoo…

Jasper texted me and said to meet at the girls' place at seven and that we would be heading over together. My stomach twisted in pleasure and pain at the thought of being back in that apartment again with my most recent memory of Bella there. I shook it off though and forced myself to put up the barrier that I had worked so hard to build in the first place.

Autopilot. I could do this.

Emmett opened the door with a Wii controller in his hand. "Hey baby bro! We're just hanging out while THE SLOWEST PEOPLE ON EARTH FINISH GETTING READY!" he shouted for the girls' benefit I assumed.

"Fuck off, bitch!" I heard from down the hall and I couldn't help but chuckle. Rose actually might be perfect for him.

"So we're just waiting on those three?"

"Well, two. Bella's not here. Guess she's meeting up with us later or something," he guessed.

This piqued my interest, but since this was her idea in the first place I doubted she would bail.

We left a while later for The Blue Tavern, a popular local venue that I remembered coming to a few times during school. There was already a huge line outside the door, but Alice walked right up to the prison guard type man at the door.

"We should be on the list, under Bella's name?" She rattled off our names and he quickly let us in.

"Alice, why are we under Bella's name?" I asked.

"Apparently Bella is friends with the whole band or something. They all grew up together and she got us some VIP seats," she said as we walked in.

It was exactly as I remembered. It had dark wood paneling with blue undertones everywhere. A pit for where people could stand to watch the shows that was surrounded by booths on the next level and massive bar at the back. It had a House of Blues vibe without the stereotype. Even with the huge line outside, the place was already packed.

Jasper whistled. "Al you sure these guys are just a cover band? I mean damn…"

"That's what Bella said…? But you're right. Maybe it's because they started locally and they just have a bunch of followers here," she ventured. "Oh! This is us!"

There was a blocked off section of booths in the dead center of the upper level with enough room for about twenty people.

"Fuck yeah! Short stack hooked us up!" Emmett bellowed as people claimed their respective seats for the show.

"Well nothing but the best for you guys," Bella's voice popped up behind us.

"Bella!" Alice squealed and pulled her in for a hug where she proceeded to whisper for a couple of minutes.

Bella pulled away shaking her head. "I'll let you know, don't worry."

Alice then clapped excitedly. "You WON'T regret it!"

Bella just shook her head and laughed.

"Secrets, secrets are no fun, unless they're shared with everyone," Rosalie said.

"Shut it hooker. You'll find out soon enough," Bella snapped back.

"Oooh feisty Izzy. How I've missed her," said a mystery blonde walking up behind Bella.

"It's Bella, Char!" she giggled and hugged her friend.

Charlotte… I took in her cast and finger splints remembering Bella and the dreads guy mentioning her. She was… edgier than Rose and Alice to say the least. She had platinum blonde hair to her waist that hung in unkempt waves. A whole lot of black eye shit on and two full brightly colored tattoo sleeves down her arms.

"Everyone this Charlotte. Charlotte, meet Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Edward."

Charlotte shot Bella a look when she got to my name and raised her eyebrows questioningly. Did Bella say something to her about me?

"Hey guys, I'm Charlotte. I'm actually in the band, but as you can see," she waved her arm, "I'll be taking a break tonight and enjoying the show with you guys."

If I shut my eyes, I would swear to god Janis Joplin was talking to us. Her voice was husky and raspy like she'd been a smoker since out of the womb.

"What do you normally play?" Jasper asked.

"I'm lead guitar and vocals, so they'll be a man down per se, but Garrett is actually stoked because – ow!"

She whirled her ahead around glaring at Bella, but Bella's eyes clearly said "keep quiet" or something to that effect.

"Oh shit… you didn't?" Bella shook her head grinning. "Fuckin' a man! That's going to be awesome!" Charlotte laughed.

The rest of us shot each other "do you know what's going on?" looks and we all shrugged clearly left out of the loop.

"Yeah…" Bella blushed and I realized I had barely taken my eyes from her since she got here. I didn't realize how much it felt like we had been disconnected this week until I was back in her presence. In that undeniable warmth she gave off. Even if I couldn't touch her or be with her, I could take solace in that at least.

"Well, we're going to head down to the front. You guys are welcome to come, but be warned. It gets a little crazy down there," Bella offered.

We ended staying in our seats but Alice and Rose said they might head down there in a bit.

The place was now officially jam packed, but I could still see Bella and Charlotte down in front almost right against the stage. The lights dimmed and a collective cheer went up through the crowd as a group of guys took the stage.

Dreads guy was on the drums and Jimi Hendrix's twin took his spot behind the keys. Another tat covered guy grabbed the bass and a guy with longish light brown hair and some clearly visible piercings grabbed the guitar.

"Hey everyone! It's good to be back! Thanks for showing up… and uh… yeah. We're Plethora!"

He counted off and they immediately jumped into an energetic rock song.

_**Come on everybody get loose tonight, throw your hands in the air if you're feelin' alright**_

They were definitely loved by the crowd and I could see why. It had been a while since I was at such an energetic show, but these guys had pure charisma. It was infectious and everyone sitting at our booth was now standing bouncing along.

Emmett actually flipped out a little as they started song.

"Holy shit, fuck yeah!" he screamed. "I can't believe they're covering Wayne, fucking awesome!"

Everyone else seemed to know the song too and even though I didn't, I found myself again infected by their energy. They moved with their instruments, talked to the audience and were genuine performers who just seemed to live for live shows.

_**Call me, so I can make juicy for ya**_

The best part was being able to watch Bella undetected. I could almost feel the joy radiating off of her. The way she moved with the music… she looked so _free_, beautifully so.

I did discover why they called themselves Plethora. They had knack for covering anything and everything then putting their own spin to it. Rage Against the Machine, .38 Special, and even some jamband stuff Jasper called "Phish." But the main guy really earned my respect when he fucking nailed Costello's "Pump It Up." Even I couldn't resist singing along to that one.

Drinks flowed as we all ended up in joining what could be described as group karaoke. More people came and joined us at the table too. I recognized a few people from the party and the other bartender that worked with Bella, Kate.

I found my perch, leaning against the railing that blocked off our level from the people down below. It gave me the best view of Bella. She was spinning and dancing with a huge grin, oblivious to anyone else.

_**A moment, a love, a dream, a laugh, a kiss, a cry, our rights, our wrongs**_

Time slowed. The tunnel vision returned. All I could think was Bella. Watching her, elated as she moved and sang along, the heart squeezing returned in full force almost painfully so.

Maybe she was right. Maybe we could chance it. Maybe… no. I couldn't do that to her. Risk her reputation or anything. I _wouldn't_ do that. I would gladly sacrifice being with her for a few months if it meant we could be together stress free later on.

"Alright everybody! We're going to take a quick break and after that we'll be back with a bit of a surprise. So go get your refills, get good and liquored up, and we'll be back in about fifteen minutes."

We were discussing the show thus far when Bella and Charlotte came bounding back up.

"This yours?" Bella asked breathlessly pointing to my beer. I nodded and she grabbed it and downed the entire thing within seconds.

"Well, party on Wayne," I said.

"Party on Garth!" she laughed and continued bouncing on her toes.

"So what did you guys think?" Charlotte asked and grabbed a beer off an unknowing server's tray.

"They're amazing!" Alice nodded.

"Fucking rocked," Rosalie agreed.

"Well… just wait until our surprise guest," she chuckled.

"I need to pee," Bella said suddenly. "Alice?"

"Pee? Oh! Right, coming!" Alice climbed over Jasper giving him a quick peck before scampering off with Bella toward the back.

"Right well, I'm going to go fondle my man a little bit backstage before the next set," Charlotte slammed her glass down and belched loudly.

"Who's your guy?" Rosalie asked.

"Peter, the sexy quiet one on bass," she cooed. "Garrett is the lead. That's Thad on the drums and Drix on the keys and synthesizer stuff. His name is Theo but we all call him Drix because, well, he's Jimi. It's fucking eerie but you get use to it," she shrugged. "See you guys in a bit!"

We slipped into easy conversation for a few minutes until the last person I really wanted to see joined us.

"Hey guys!" Jake grinned.

"Jake!" Alice beamed. "I feel like we haven't seen you in forever."

"I know, Tink. It's been too long, that's for sure," he bent over and kissed her on the cheek.

I saw Jasper bristle at the nickname for her. Apparently I wasn't the only one who he pissed off.

"Rose, stunning as ever," he grinned.

"You know it, Black," she winked.

Emmett conveniently began sucking down her neck, ceasing any further conversation.

"Edward! How you been?" He towered over me still and I fucking hated that feeling. Vin Diesel with hair can just kiss my fucking-

"Hey babe, you made it!"

Another tan twenty-something guy with dark hair came up and wrapped his arm around Jake, giving him a light kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, baby," Jake leaned in and gave the other a guy a peck on the lips.

"Your gay?" The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them and I clapped my hand over my mouth, wincing in embarrassment. "Sorry, I didn't mean, I just didn't…"

Jake just laughed. "Uh wow, Bella really didn't tell you guys? She keeps it underwraps pretty well, with me half-owning a sports bar and all. Yeah, this is my guy, Seth. Seth, this is Edward. He's a T.A. for one of Bella's classes."

I watched as Jasper and Emmett visibly relaxed and I knew a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders as well. But holy fuck… I really just didn't see that one coming.

"Hey Seth, nice to meet you. So you guys know the band and stuff too? They seem to go way back with Bella."

"Well, I don't know them as well," Seth said. "But Jake is tight with them. He's been all excited because supposedly, ugh! What the hell man?" Jake had elbowed Seth in the ribs.

"Nothing, slipped. So they're starting back up soon? We couldn't make the first half, had to close up the bar and all."

"Should be," Emmett said glancing at his watch.

And just like that the lights dimmed again as the group went back to their spots again.

Garrett leaned into the mike. "Thanks for sticking with us. Like I said we've got a special surprise for you all tonight. For those of you who've been following us since our days back in a garage in Port Angeles, you might have realized we've been missing one of our own tonight, leaving me all by my lonesome to assail your ears.

"Charlotte had to up and break her arm in Vegas, so… we wanted to find a replacement for your listening pleasure. So ladies and gentlemen, brace yourselves…"

With that, all the lights shut off. The crowd shrieked in excitement anticipating what was to come.

I could barely make out the sound of deep breaths coming out of the speakers, but it was there. And then…

_**The lights are on, but you're not home**_

_**Your mind is not your own**_

_**Your heart sweats, your body shakes**_

_**Another kiss is what it takes**_

Fuck me running…_angel_. Her voice and her voice alone, amplified over a hundred decibels. A hush fell over the crowd as she continued to sing, more powerful than I had ever heard before.

_**You can't sleep, you can't eat**_

_**There's no doubt, you're in deep**_

_**Your throat is tight, you can't breathe**_

_**Another kiss is all you need**_

A single spotlight switched on, running down through the throng of people to the edge of the stage. It slowly panned up, revealing a pair of bright green chucks.

I felt the glass slip from my hand as I stopped breathing.

* * *

***crosses heart* I solemnly swear I will not cockblock you forever, please have faith. **

**Now, see that review button? He told me he likes to be spanked, frequently. So, hit him, hit him hard. He'll like it. I promise. ;)**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: What's this? The next chapter less than a month later? *Flails* **

**We have arrived... thanks for sticking with me as usual. Every single one of you who reads means so much to me.**

**Mad props to the best beta I could have ever hoped to have, jaimearkin. She is the cheese to my macaroni. **

**We're starting off at the concert again, please check my profile for links to songs, I chose them all for a reason and I'd love for you to give them a listen. **

**Disclaimer: I own two study books for the GRE (that I have yet to open), SM owns all things Twilight, all things Twilight own me.**

* * *

**Chapter 17**

**BPOV**

_Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod. Just breathe. In and out. _

I had forgotten about the rush of nerves from performing. The all consuming, nauseating, exhilarating, adrenaline-pumping nerves.

Thank fuck for Garrett and his weird obsession with "Coyote Ugly." Starting with all the lights off was brilliant. Once I got into it I would be fine.

_This isn't just for him, Swan. You need this too. Don't fuck it up._

I saw the bright glare of the spotlight flick on as Drix started up the keys behind me. My heart was pounding so hard I'm surprised the mic didn't pick it up. But I kept singing.

_For him._

My eyes adjusted briefly and I caught a glimpse of the audience. I looked out among the sea of faces, immediately searching for the spot in the dead center.

His green eyes. I knew they were there. I caught them just before the lights changed again, pouring myself into the music.

_**Oh you like to think you're immune to this stuff**_

_**It's closer to the truth to say, you can't get enough**_

_**You're going to have to face it you're addicted to love**_

If possible even more adrenaline rushed through me as I felt the drums and guitar pick up. I sensed all of them behind me, supporting me. They knew how hard this was going to be but they also knew I would love it in the end.

I saw Garrett out of the corner of my eye, giving me his huge, encouraging grin, effectively reassuring me that I hadn't fucked it up yet, and I gave him a sly smile.

I turned my gaze back to the crowd, feeding off their energy.

It was good to be back.

* * *

**EPOV**

I was pretty sure I hadn't blinked in about three minutes. I was too scared I was going to miss something.

Bella was on stage, in the shoes I bought her, wearing what can only be described as a "scrap of fabric" around her body. Little black dress indeed.

"Holy shit, short stack can sing!"

"Oh my god…"

"She sounds amazing."

The song picked up, morphing into the sexiest cover of "Addicted to Love" I had ever heard in my life. It was hard to believe my eyes, and ears. She told me she hated performing in front of others, but in front of me was this entirely new Bella. Another piece to the mysterious puzzle; I couldn't keep up with her which was endlessly frustrating and incredibly hot at the same time.

Well my brain couldn't keep up. My dick certainly could. Bella's affect on me was already quite evident as I attempted to adjust. Hopefully this was just for one song. I could handle that, maybe.

But as I took a look around, I noticed I was not the only one who she had this power over. Every single man and some women were gawking at her, fucking her with their eyes.

_Mine!_

Caveman was back in full swing, his club at the ready for anyone who touched her. Of course Bella wasn't exactly helping matters. Bouncing around on stage looking so fucking sexy I felt my mouth water.

"She looks great right?" Alice nudged me.

"You… you did that to her?" I sputtered. "Wait, you knew? About tonight?'

"Mhmm, but only for a couple of days. She knows I can't keep my mouth shut that long, but she said she wanted some help getting ready before she got up there.'

"Alice! You knew and didn't tell me! Wait, why didn't Bella tell me?" Rose yelled over the music.

"Rose you're even worse at keeping a secret than I am!"

"I knew," Jake volunteered as a he tipped his beer back.

"I kind of knew," Seth added.

"I definitely knew!" Charlotte popped up behind us. "She's been rehearsing with us all week."

Fuck… that's why she's been so out of it.

"All week for one song?" I ventured.

"One song? Yeah fucking right. She's just getting started, can't you tell?" She moved her way through the group so she was standing next to me as we both leaned over the railing. "Bella's getting' her groove back."

My cock twitched at the thought at the same time the caveman raged. This was an awkward combination.

"You've got it bad, don't you?" Charlotte asked.

I gave in and just nodded.

"Hmm… well. Enjoy the show then," she said suggestively as the song winded down.

"Wooo!" Bella grinned into the mic addressing the crowd for the first time. "I'm Bella everyone, thanks for putting up with me tonight. I swear you won't have to listen to me sing the whole time…"

Everyone booed her at this and she grinned. "Well, the guys here were kind enough to let me pick most of the next set, so if you hate it… well fuck off. I don't care!" she laughed. "Now you'll have to forgive me," she motioned off into the wings. "I'm a little rusty, but I busted my ass this week to sound halfway decent so as to not embarrass these fuckers. They asked me to fill in for Charlotte, so that's what I'm going to do."

A stagehand scrambled across the stage with what my eyes picked up to be a black custom Rickenbacker guitar.

_Holymotherfuckingshit._

Bella grabbed the instrument, tossing the strap over her shoulder. I was now straining against my jeans. There was no way in fuck... she couldn't. I didn't know it was possible to be so incredibly turned on by someone who wasn't even touching me.

"What the fuck?" I heard Jasper ask. "Bella can play guitar?"

Charlotte turned around and guffawed. "Wow, she _really_ didn't tell you guys you shit did she?" Everyone just gawked at her with their mouths open. "Izz, _Bella_, and I used to dominate. Then there was that whole drama bullshit and she stepped back, so Garrett ended up picking up the slack."

"What drama bullshit?" I heard myself ask.

Her eyes widened and she looked around at everyone else, but landed on Jake. He minutely shook his head giving her the death glare. "Oh, um you know how high school garage bands are. Just petty stuff…" she trailed off.

What the fuck was going on? At least for once I wasn't the only one who didn't have a clue. Alice and Rose looked just as confused as I did.

"Alright! Let's do this! One, two, one two three four!" Bella counted them off before a blaring riff and hard beat shook through the crowd.

A chorus "Woo! Go Bella!" erupted around me. I wanted to cheer her on, but I my vocal chords were frozen. My hands were frozen. My entire body was frozen because all the blood had rushed straight to my dick. Nothing, _nothing,_ could have prepared me for the image of Bella wailing on that guitar.

Even more so than she did in front of a piano, Bella exploded with more life than I thought possible. She fucking glowed up there and fit right in.

_**My girlfriend's a dick magnet, My girlfriend's gotta have it **_

_**She's hot, can't stop, up on stage, doing shots, Tip the man he'll ring the bell,**_

_**get her drunk she'll scream like hell. **_

Garrett took over singing for this one and my previous respect for him flew right out of the damn window. Not only was he eye-fucking the shit out of my girl but he was grinding all over her ass in front of the entire crowd, who just cheered him on.

_Fucker._

Caveman was swinging his club around ready to go apeshit on his ass. To make matters worse, almost as if she knew this would piss me off further, she didn't push him away. Bella grinned and winked at him as she continued to play.

_What. The . Fuck._

I was starting to see red.

_**She likes to shake her ass, she grinds it to the beat **_

_**She likes to pull my hair when I make her grind her teeth **_

_**I like to strip her down, she's naughty to the end**_

My hands were starting to numb I was gripping the railing so tight. I wasn't sure if I could handle this. The pleasure of watching Bella had changed into the most consuming jealously. My stomach lurched but I couldn't look away either.

"Hey!" I heard someone yell over the music in my ear and I turned to look at Charlotte.

"What?" I heard the anger in my voice but I couldn't control it.

She held her arms back in surrender. "Well you looked like you're about to have an aneurism over," she gestured to Bella and Garrett on stage, "those two," I leaned closer to hear her. "You should just know that's how they are. Always have been. Garrett may read more into it, but Bella has never felt that way about him."

I nodded and chewed over this piece of information letting it calm me slightly. She chortled and handed me another beer.

"You might need this though. It could help." She smirked as I took a long swig.

"Thanks!" I shouted.

"Just relax and enjoy the music, Edward," she gave me a knowing look.

So that's what I attempted to do. Sadly my brain had disconnected from my cock long ago and I was painfully hard as I continued to watch "rock star Bella" dominate the stage. It was like she was trying to torture me. The skimpy dress, the guitar, the shoes... oh my god.

_That's exactly what she's doing._

This was her fucking plan. The evil, diabolical, mouthwatering temptress.

_**And when it came out it went drip, drip, drip**_

_**I didn't know she had the G.I Joe kung foo grip**_

_**And it went unnhh**_

_**And the girl caress me down**_

_**Unnnhh and that's that lovin' sound**_

Now that I knew her evil plan, I could sit there and enjoy it along with everyone else. Bella was a gifted musician and a truly amazing performer. If the band was energetic before, it had now escalated to a new level I didn't have the word for. I had no clue why this persona of hers didn't translate over to the piano, but I was going to find out. There was a mystery to this girl that I wanted to unravel.

"This next one is currently by one of my favorite bands and one of the only new ones I learned this week. I hope I do them justice!"

Garrett had picked up his guitar too and they whispered close for a second, my jealously flared again. Bella swung the instrument so that it hung behind her as Dreads counted them down. An organ sound poured out of the speakers as Garrett and Drix moved to the bluesy beat.

Bella stepped gingerly toward the mic again before closing her eyes and taking a visibly deep breath. The voice that came out this time was shockingly different from the one before. It was more powerful, edgy.

Sexy as all fuck.

I didn't know how long I could last before I just gave up and jerked off in the bathroom for some goddamn relief. Bella couldn't keep doing this to me. I watched her hands glide over the frets like it was nothing. Her tiny fingers pulling out one of the most intricate solos I had heard in a while.

She and Garrett went back and forth in a sort of duet and I could tell Bella was concentrating hard. Her tongue flicked out like it was missing those fucking cherry Blowpops. I felt myself smiling at the image. What had annoyed me at first became endearing and I had stopped bugging her about them a couple of weeks ago.

Whatever song this was, Bella let it run through her. She belted out the lyrics, her voice reaching octaves I hadn't yet heard, even doing that, what I normally considered horrendous, scream-sing thing. Of course, she sounded amazing doing it though.

But maybe that was what happened when you loved someone. Whatever was annoying before was perfect bec-

_Loved. Holy shit. Did I really just think that? I couldn't. There was no way. It's too soon. I'm not ready. _

But there it was, along with a massive dose of guilt that felt like a sucker punch to my gut. My stream of consciousness recognized the emotions that had been plaguing me since that night in the practice room.

_I loved her. Well son of a bitch. _

This new revelation had me tugging at my hair and ordering the biggest Jack and Coke they would give me.

The song changed into something less hard, and as the frenzy from the last one died down, I closed my eyes and focused on the music.

_**She's got you high and you don't even know yet **_

_**The sun's in the sky, it makes for happy endings **_

_**You can't deny you want a happy ending**_

_Excellent. Just what I needed to hear_

I was quickly losing myself in a deep train of thought when Bella's voice rang out over the din.

"We're going to slow it down real quick. Let you catch your breath and get some refills," she handed the guitar off and pushed the hair out of her face. "Ok emo kids. This one's for you. You can thank Britney for the song, Yael Naim for the arrangement, and the lyric changes are actually mine…"

The lights dimmed again, leaving only a couple of spots on Bella. People began to mill about taking her advice as a hauntingly familiar melody drifted out of the speakers.

_**Baby, can't you see, I'm calling**_

_**A guy like you, should wear a warning**_

_**It's dangerous, I was fallin'**_

_**There was no escape, I couldn't wait**_

_**I had a hit, baby, give me it**_

_**You're dangerous, and I loved it**_

_**Too high, couldn't come down**_

_**Losing my head, spinning round and round**_

_**Do you feel me now**_

_**With a taste of your lips I was on a ride**_

_**You're toxic I was slipping under**_

_**With a taste of a poison paradise, I was addicted to you**_

_**Don't you know that you're toxic**_

_**And I hate what you did, don't you know that you're toxic**_

The room that was bouncing with energy before had become dead silent. It seemed everyone in the room was hanging on to her words, hypnotized listening to her.

The songs up until now had been sexually charged, to almost an extreme amount. I hadn't realized that I was taking those for granted secretly hoping that they were part of Bella's ploy to torture me, which, to her credit, worked extremely well. But this couldn't be because of me…

An elbow nudged me in the ribs pulling me from my stupor.

"This one isn't about you," Charlotte looked at me knowingly. "She needed this… cleansing almost."

I let out a frustrated sigh. "Ok, what the fuck is going on here? You and Jake have been cryptic as shit all night. Clearly the rest of us have no clue what's going on, or what happened, so why don't you stop with the mind games and fucking tell us," I seethed, feeling the night of intense emotions rush through me making me sound a lot more pissed than I actually was.

I was about to apologize when she laughed in my face. "You've got a temper too, huh? This should be interesting."

"No, I just meant-"

"Nah it's cool, man. It's just not my story to tell. We all have our parts in it, but she'll tell you when she's ready."

I hated missing out on some essential part of Bella that others were privy to. Then again, she bore a bit of her soul for me each time we worked together, that should mean something at least.

A few more songs later, I easily slipped back into I'm-a-caveman-and-I-want-to-fuck-Bella-until-she's-screaming-my-name mode. She was practically molesting the mic stand and fucking the guitar through N.E.R.D.'s "Lapdance" and some song where she made goddamn sex noises during the bridge.

My cock was throbbing. I would have been on the phone with some little fucker in India because my "condition lasted longer than four hours" if this had been caused by some damn blue pill. But no, au natural…

Guys had pushed their way to the front of the stage and were cat-calling her between numbers. I wanted to rip their fucking throats out and she taunted me by winking at them. That wink was supposed to be fucking mine, not theirs.

I stared at her hard, willing her to look at me. Instead she fiddled with the tuning pegs while Garrett swigged some water before talking.

"You guys have been fucking great. We've got one more to send you off with and then we're outta here!"

Thad pounded on the drums, shaking his dreads back and forth, and I immediately recognized the beat. If Bella picked this one… I shook my head grinning and watched her as she danced around during the intro.

_**I want you to want me, I need you to need me**_

_**I'd love you to love me, I'm begging you to beg me**_

Bella's voice rocked through me, but she looked everywhere besides the area where our group was, despite my attempts at Jedi mind tricks.

It wasn't until the end of the song when she looked straight at me.

_**I want you to want me, I want you to want me, I want you to want me…**_

She looked me dead in the eye through the last verse. My chest warmed as I filled with so much lust I could barely stand it, but I wasn't going to be the one to look away. Finally our heated gaze broke as the song came to end.

The crowd went crazy and our group's cheers rang out above the rest. Emmett and Jake even started chanting Bella's name.

Once the applause died out and people started to leave Charlotte addressed us.

"Hey you guys are totally welcome to stick around. We're pretty friendly with the manager here and we'll probably hang out and drink for a while. 'Meet the band' and all?"

"Hell yeah," Rosalie said and everyone quickly agreed.

"Cool, order whatever you want. It'll be on the house. I'm going to check with them backstage and help pack up and stuff."

She strolled off and left us to discuss the show, which consisted of everyone freaking out over how great Bella was.

"I mean we heard her sing around the apartment and shit, but NEVER like that," Alice said and Rose nodded into her drink.

"I just can't believe she can fucking wail like that," Emmett mused.

Jasper nodded. "Seriously dude, that Dead Weather cover was sick."

"Hey man, you a Jack White fan?" a voice said somewhere behind us.

Garrett and rest of the group had walked up and were pushing chairs and tables together so everyone could sit.

"Fuck yeah," Jasper agreed and stuck out his hand. "I'm Jasper, I belong to the little one," he said nodding toward Alice.

More intros were made and drinks ordered as everyone settled in. Bella squeezed in across from me between Garrett and Charlotte, who was practically sucking that guy Peter's face off.

Emmett sounded like a goddamn groupie while talking with Drix.

"That Wayne cover was insane!"

He chuckled, "Yeah doing it like that is the only way we could let Garr here get away with it."

"And you!" He turned to Bella who had been surprisingly quiet since she sat down. "Why the fuck didn't you tell any of us?"

"Umm, I wanted it to be a surprise?" She shrugged and continued peeling the label off her beer.

"Well 'surprise' is right. Jesus woman! That was amazing."

Bella looked away, but grinned anyway. "Thanks, Em."

"Iz-Bella," Garrett corrected himself and flung his arm around her shoulders, I scowled into my beer. "Was one of our original members, she brings a certain _something_ to the table."

"And you picked the songs?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah, most of them," Bella nodded, shrugging out from under Garrett's arm. The caveman's grip on his club loosened slightly. "I had to pick some stuff I was at least familiar with considering I had only a week to get my shit together. "

"But we couldn't let her musically fuck E…veryone the whole time either," Thad tried to hide his verbal slip up by coughing, but people caught on.

"Seriously, Bells!" Jake laughed. "That was musical porn up there!"

I hadn't taken my eyes off her since she sat down, so when Bella caught my eye I was ready for it. I felt the corner of my mouth lift into a smirk, knowing I caught her and she flushed a brilliant red.

"I uh… I need to go to the bathroom," she shimmied her way out of the seats and tripped over one of the chair legs, which hiked that fucking dress up even more, exposing the tiniest amount of her… _bare_ ass.

I gripped my longneck so hard I thought I might break it as I watched her walk her away. My control was going to snap. I could feel it, just waiting to break.

"So, you're him?" Garrett leaned forward across the table and was eyeing me hard as everyone else continued talking.

"Him?"

He looked rather glum and sighed, "Yeah, the 'him' who's stolen our little Isabella's heart."

I was about to protest but he cut me off.

"Don't fight it, Eddie. Ok? She's… a good one. So just pull out whatever's up your ass and go get her." He got up and started to walk over to Kate who was at the bar, but turned back. "And don't fuck it up."

Bella had stopped on her way to say speak to Kate and was now about to dip around the corner when I saw her glance back at me over her shoulder. Garrett's words swirled in my head and the shred of control I was clinging to finally snapped. The animal within took over, ecstatic that my head was no longer a factor in this game.

I shoved away from the booth and stalked after her. When I rounded the wall, she was there, leaning casually against it like she knew I was going to come after her. I wasted no time and stood in front of her, placing my hands against the wall on either side of her head, trapping her beneath me.

"Hi…" she breathed.

I chuckled. "That's what you open with?"

"Would you prefer 'hello'?"

The Bella smell I had come to love was surrounding my senses, further clouding any judgment I may have had. "I would prefer," I ran my nose down her jaw line, "if you told me why you chose those songs?"

"I um, you. They were for you," Bella whispered and I almost came at those words alone. I had to myself from burying my cock in her right then.

"And this?" I fingered the hem of that tiny dress. "For me?"

Her breath hitched and she nodded. I grabbed her hand and ran it across the bulge in my pants. In the dim lights I saw her blush deepen pleasing the caveman greatly.

"Is this what you wanted to do to me, Bella? Drive me crazy until I couldn't take it anymore?" My lips were too close to her soft skin not to taste and I sucked lightly below her ear.

She took a shaky breath. "Yes…"

I placed another soft kiss on her neck, relishing in the taste of her skin again. "Bella," my voice sounded hoarse and thick with need. "I don't want to wait. I _can't_ wait anymore."

I pulled back to look into her eyes. They were heavy and matched mine in lust, but I had to make sure she wanted this. There would be no going back.

A grin slowly spread across her face. "Oh thank GOD."

Next thing I know our lips are crushing together almost painfully. I'm shoving her against the wall as we drown in whimpers and groans, tasting each other again.

There was a faint hit of whiskey and peppermint this time on her tongue. Bella's hands moved across my shoulders and up my neck to my hair that she tugged on pulling me closer and I growled into her mouth. I had to break for air and began sucking and kissing down her neck. My hands skimmed across her bare thighs and I felt goose bumps rise under my fingers.

"Edward…" she whispered.

Hearing my name snapped me out of my lust-filled haze and I realized my hands were dangerously close to her center. If we didn't stop now I was going to take her against the wall by the disgusting bathrooms.

_No._

"Bella, I need to…" _Love you. Make love you to you. Because I'm in love with you. _"make you mine."

Her soft fingers yanked my chin to meet her gaze. "I've been yours, Edward. This whole time."

I couldn't stop the goofy grin from spreading wide across my face.

"We need to get out of here," I grabbed her hand pulling her towards the exit.

"Edward!" she laughed, resisting my efforts. "I have to get my stuff, and my truck…"

I took her in my arms again cutting off her words with another deep kiss. "Bella. I do not have the patience for your truck right now. Get someone else to drive it back."

Her skin blossomed in that delicious pink as she silently nodded.

"Meet me outside?"

"Yeah, I'll just be minute," she grinned and hurried back toward the table.

I hailed a cab and had to brave the cold rain only for a few minutes until she came practically running out the door. Bella tumbled into me as we fell back inside the warm car.

Another reason I didn't want her driving is because I knew I wasn't going to be able to keep my hands off her. She was damn near in my lap as we groped and mauled each other like a couple of teenagers in the back of the car. I'm pretty sure the driver didn't turn up the music because he was a fan of that Lady-What's-Her-Face.

Bella chuckled in my ear sending a fresh wave of shivers down my spine.

"Something funny?" I asked as I gripped her hips.

"We are so 'those' people right now," she laughed again. "Those people I always make fun of for not being able to get home before attacking each other."

I ran my hands up her back and placed light kisses up her bare arm. "Want me to stop?"

"No," she sighed.

"Good. Because there's no way I can now."

**

* * *

BPOV**

I couldn't comprehend the jumble of emotions and thoughts coursing through me.

The concert was a complete success. I didn't have a panic attack getting back on stage. I didn't think of _him_ once. After I sang that version of "Toxic" I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I was able to truly enjoy myself. It felt like the best parts of my past and present combined under one roof and I was ecstatic.

And on top of that, my seduce/tease/torment Edward plan had totally worked. Granted, I didn't know it would play out with the whole concert thing, but it had inadvertently done quite a number on me too. Alice had tried to convince me to go to commando in this little dress but I had insisted on a thong. Thank Christ I had or else everyone would have been seen the evidence dripping down my leg of how much I enjoyed "musically fucking" Edward from up there.

Now, here I was, wrapped in his arms, listening to him say such sweet words. My body was going into overdrive. I had never craved a man's touch so much, yet I was so nervous I thought my heart was going to explode.

How do I tell him that I have no clue what I'm doing? Well that's a lie. I've been told on several occasions that my oral skills couldn't be touched. But the sex, the actual sexing…

Besides the ridiculous amounts of TMI I had heard from Rose and Alice over the years, movies, and the occasional literary porn, I was clueless.

I had only had sex one other time and there was no way in fuck I was going to draw any comparisons between that time and this time. I couldn't.

I was lost in thought as Edward's lips moved gently over my skin, slowly caressing each available inch, and bringing me back to the present.

Next thing I know he's shoving a wad of bills at the unfortunate cab driver who damn near got a free show, and we're stumbling through his front door.

I didn't know what it was about him, but touching him calmed my nerves. He invaded all my senses. The way Edward tasted was amazing. That smell, _his_ smell, never failed to make my girly parts tingle. His touch was driving me fucking crazy and I was making noises I wasn't aware I was capable of.

My back hit something hard.

_Oh, kitchen counter. Right. _

I tried to catch up with the world outside the man who was now running his thumbs over my hard nipples, eliciting a high-pitched moan from me. His cock was pressing against my stomach and I could feel myself getting wetter.

"Bella…" his mouth was dancing over my now naked shoulders. _Holy hell, when did that happen? _"We don't," he swallowed hard. "I don't want to push you."

I looked up at him as he cupped my face, running a thumb across my cheek. I was melting. There was no way I could say no.

"You're not, I want _you_ so much."

I heard the sexiest growl come from him before I was scooped up and slung over his shoulder. I couldn't stop the shriek of laughter that bubbled from my mouth.

"Edward! I could have walked you know!"

"You trip when you walk," he said as carried me toward his room. "And I really just wanted to do this."

He threw me from his grip and I flew back on the bed bouncing slightly, automatically spread before him.

"Fucking stunning."

I couldn't help but blush at his words. The way he looked at me and when he said those things, I truly felt beautiful at those moments.

Edward grabbed my ankles, yanking me toward the edge of the bed until my feet were dangling. He kissed down my right leg and to my ankle as he slipped off my shoe.

"Decided to break them in tonight?" he asked with a smile.

"Well… it seemed appropriate," I managed as he repeated the process down the other leg.

I felt him take his time going over the area my tattoo covered.

"This has to be the sexiest fucking thing ever."

I felt his thumb graze over the now faint scar covered by the purple ink and I tensed slightly, but it looked like he didn't notice.

"Good… then hopefully you'll like the other ones."

His eyes shot up to meet mine. "Others? Jesus…" His eyes darkened and despite my nerves I knew my gaze matched his hungry one. He crawled up my body, hovering over me.

"I've dreamed about this, thought about you so many times…" he as he nuzzled the spot below my ear which was apparently directly connected to my clit. I groaned and bucked against his hips hard, needing to feel his weight on me.

His eyes closed, "Shit," he whispered.

"Clothes, Edward. Off," I didn't recognize my own wanton voice as I tugged on the end of his shirt.

He sat up straddling me and threw it over his head. I didn't even stop to appreciate the view before I started fumbling with his belt, but his hands closed over mine, slowing my movements.

"We've got time." He pushed gently on my shoulders until I was lying under him again.

His hands gripped the bottom of the tiny dress and began slowly pushing it up. Just before it hit the apex of my thighs he looked at me, questioning one more time. I nodded, giving him permission. The material slipped over my hips and I heard him suck in a quick breath before I was lying there in nothing but the purple bra and thong set I wore the night we met.

_Oh sweet irony._

I heard him utter "damn" before his lips were leaving trails of heat across my chest and down my stomach. My thighs clenched together looking for friction to soothe the ache that had been building since we first kissed. He gently traced the treble clef and small music staff that was inked into my skin on my right hip and I swore I heard him say "fucking sexy" before he kissed the design.

The muscles in his back moved under my hands, strong and lean and as I ran my hands down toward his hips he pressed into me again, hitting a delicious spot making me groan.

"Edward… please," I was becoming a quivering a mess under him. I needed him to touch me.

My lips moved against any skin I could find as his hands slipped inside the delicate material. A jolt of pleasure rushed through me when he slowly teased my clit.

"Jesus…" we groaned together as pushed a finger inside me. "So wet… so, fuck," he whispered.

I bucked hard against his hand, pushing myself closer to the edge and he added another finger. "Oh god…"

Edward continued to tease me into oblivion with his fingers. I was dangling right on the edge, panting hard, no longer capable of words. His other hand shoved the lace away from my breast and roughly sucked my nipple between his lips.

My back arched, a shudder rippled through me and I felt myself pulse around his fingers. "Edward! Shit!"

"God yes…" Even though my eyes were closed I could feel him watching me as he worked me through my orgasm.

When my heavy lids opened, he was smirking above me as he gently pulled his fingers out and sucked them clean in front of me.

"Fucking Christ, Bella," he growled. "You taste incredible."

With my now jelly-like muscles, I was surprised at the speed in which I moved. Watching him taste me was easily the most erotic thing I'd ever seen in my life. I flipped him under me, attacking his chest with my lips as I worked his pants and boxers down. He kicked them off the rest away and I couldn't help but stare.

"See something you like, baby?" he chuckled. I responded by gripping his cock and giving it a slow stroke. "Oh shit!"

He thrust into my hand and I felt giddy at his reaction to me. Edward oozed sex when he was clothed, now that he was naked before me, he was dripping with it. I needed him. I couldn't wait any longer.

"Edward… condom?" I purred and ground my hips into his cock making him whisper a string of profanities.

You'd think I'd set a taser to his ass with the speed in which he reached for his nightstand. In the process he flipped me back under him, hunger evident in his eyes, and I felt my stomach flip with the intensity of it.

But he had to know. It was now or never. With all the whore-tastic moaning and brazenness that had taken over my body he probably thought I was going to act like porn star in bed. Granted, I wanted to, I just wasn't quite sure how…

He rolled on the condom staring into my eyes before leaning down and giving me a tender kiss.

"Edward, you should know… that I haven't," I felt my cheeks heat in embarrassment instead of lust.

He pulled his lips away from neck. "You're… a virgin?" he asked quietly.

"No! I just, it's been a while. A long while. So if I suck or whatever, I just wanted to let you know why." I looked away, no longer able to meet those eyes that were now probably looking at me like I was some sort of freak.

_Thank you babbling reflex for being there for me when I need you to fuck off the most._

"Bella," he had pulled away, but I could still feel his warm breath against my cheek. "Look at me."

His voice dropped, it was commanding and sweet at the same time, making my thighs clench in such a good way. I peered back at him and found nothing but pure desire written on his face.

"I want _you._ Every part of you. If anything, that just makes me want you more."

A new confidence bloomed inside me, but all I could do was nod as a fresh wave of lust rolled through me. His hands returned to my lace-covered breasts before wrapping around me. My bra quickly vanished and I felt his hand run down my side and to the top of my knee before he grabbed it, hitching my leg around his hips.

His eyes were heavy as he took in my form. "So beautiful…" He lavished my hard nipples with his tongue driving me into a frenzy all over again.

I was about to just shove myself down on him when his lips brushed against mine. "Just go with it," he murmured before slowing pushing into me.

We moaned and swore together at the sensation. He stretched me yes, but fuck it felt so incredible. I gripped his shoulders as his hips rolled against mine, hitting my already swollen clit.

"Fuck, oh my god," I breathed.

"You feel so," he took a shaky breath, "amazing…"

I moved into a rhythm with him but I could feel myself needing more.

"E-Edward," I panted, "Harder."

He grunted, "Fuck, Bella," and slid into me fast and hard.

I cried out because he hit something inside me… I didn't know it could feel that good.

"Yes, oh shit, more!" Unconscious of my movements, I somehow moved my leg up and over his arm letting him go deeper and pushing me to the brink again.

"God, Edward! Just… fuck me!"

He growled and started really pounding into me. I gasped and squirmed, overwhelmed with the sensations he was stirring in me.

"Please… I'm so," I managed, my breath coming in short pants.

Sensing I was close, Edward's hand traveled from my hip to where our bodies were sliding together and began to thumb circles over my clit.

"Let go, Bella. Cum for me," he breathed into my ear.

My legs tingled and the inner coil snapped, my orgasm rocking through me.

I continued to spasm around him, "Holyfuckinggod, Edward…"

He twisted and thrust into me a few more times before he sucked in a sharp intake of air, shuddering above me as my name fell from his lips. Edward collapsed on top of me, our chests rising and falling at a hurried pace.

I ran my fingers through his thick hair, completely sated yet hungry for his touch at the same time.

"Jesus. Bella, that was… you were… Wow," he said between soft kisses across my collarbone.

I chuckled softly, my skin still uber sensitive to his touch. "Yeah?"

"Fuck yeah."

He sucked my earlobe into his mouth, before gently pulling from me; he was already too far away.

His footsteps echoed in the bathroom as his he disposed of the condom. I stretched across the enormous bed, suddenly very tired.

I heard a chuckle from the side of the bed. "Comfortable?"

"Mmhm. Very."

He slid in next to me and quickly draped my body across his. I took in his smell, his warmth, the steady sound of his heartbeat in my ear, and a wave of absolute peace washed over me.

"Thank you," I mumbled into his chest as my eyes grew heavy.

"Goodnight, _Miss Swan_," he said and I felt his chuckle rumble through him.

I drifted off with a smile on my face.

* * *

***peeks out from under the covers* Love it? Hate it? **

**I'm dying to know what you thought. And the review button is looking for a good spanking. You know how he likes it. **


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Welcome back! Please forgive me as this took way longer than it should have. See, I got this little thing called a job (finally) and apparently it's a big no-no to write smut during work hours. *shrugs* Who knew right? **

**As ever, an enormous shout-out and hugs to my beta jaimearkin. I couldn't do this without her. **

**Special thanks to IndieficPimp and my dear sweet friend killerwardsmuse for recommending my little story this past week. I can't express how much it means to me!**

**To all you new readers out there, alerting and favoriting and reviewing, THANK YOU. It warms my heart. **

**As per usual, all things Twilight belong to SM, I just like to make them bone. And other stuff...**

* * *

**Chapter 18**

**EPOV**

Something soft tickled under my nose and I subconsciously moved whatever it was out of the way. Then something even softer shifted and sighed against across my chest.

_Bella._

Bella was here. In my arms. Draped across my body like it was the most natural thing in the world. I didn't need to open my eyes. The feel of her was enough. I was surrounded by everything Bella and I felt myself smile before drifting off again.

The next time I awoke, there was no warmth. No soft hair tickling my nose.

My eyes flew open, but to no avail. It was still dark so instead I rolled over, reaching for her body that I was already craving again.

Nothing.

But it was still warm. My breathing came easier. It wasn't a dream. Last night did happen. I had held her in my arms and felt her breath across my face. I had seen her beautiful body before I shamelessly pounded into it.

My cock sprung to attention even though the rest of me was still half asleep wondering where she'd gone.

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and took a quick look around once I got used to the dark. Clothes were everywhere, including hers.

Well, she hadn't gone too far then, but the bathroom light wasn't on and I didn't hear anything except…

My chest tightened. Soft notes filtered through to my room. She was still here.

_Thank fuck_.

I scrambled for a pair of boxers, anxious to see her already and make sure this wasn't some really elaborate dream I had concocted because I had fantasized about her that damn much.

The wood floor was cold underneath my feet but I made my way softly down the hall. I don't know why I was trying to be so stealthy, but if felt like I wanted to see her uninhibited, playing just for herself again.

I reached the door of my studio and forgot to breathe.

Bella's hair cascaded, unruly and wavy, down her bare back. My sheet pooled around her waist, evidence that she had been wrapped in it before. Her skin was almost luminescent from the combination of moon and streetlights. I could just make out the curve of her breasts as she swayed ever so slightly with the music. Her hands glided across the keys as she held the damper pedal down with her foot, softening the notes, probably so as not to disturb me.

I drank the image in, sealing and embedding it into my brain forever. Stunning. Breathtaking. Ethereal. Sexy as all fuck.

I couldn't stop the groan that built in my throat.

Her head whipped around at the noise and she clutched her chest in her hand.

"Holy fuck, Edward!" she panted. "Do you always have to sneak up on me like that?"

I smirked. "When I want to watch you like that, yeah."

"Creeper," she grinned.

"You like it."

She giggled and all was right in my world. "Did I wake you?"

"You not being next to me woke me."

"Oh," I could see her blush spread across her skin even in the dark. "Sorry, I didn't mean to, and I couldn't go back to sleep, and I found this and I…well I couldn't really help myself," she rambled. Fuck it was so cute when she did that.

She had also turned to face me when she started talking and I found myself nodding at her tits.

"Uh no, it's fine, more than fine actually." I walked over to her, completely lost in my Bella trance again, and leaned down to take her lips forcefully between mine.

She whimpered into my mouth and her tiny hands fisted into my hair again. God I loved when she did that. I deepened the kiss slightly before pulling away as I traced the shell of her ear my tongue.

"Play for me, Bella."

A shiver went through her whole body.

"Please," I whispered and sat down next to her as she slid over.

"Um…ok," she nodded. "Any requests?"

I shook my head. "Whatever comes to mind."

Her hands hovered above the keys and Bella closed her eyes. The silence was damn near deafening and I was afraid I had spooked her when she opened her mouth.

_**It's not the pale moon that excites me**_

_**That thrills and delights me, oh no**_

_**It's just the nearness of you**_

_**It isn't your sweet conversation**_

_**That brings this sensation, oh no**_

_**It's just the nearness of you**_

I hadn't expected this. Gone was the powerful voice from just a few hours ago. Instead was the voice I'd come to know and love. _My angel_. Soft and lilting, utterly hypnotic. The words were perfection. I couldn't have stopped my hands if I wanted to.

I reached around her waist, tracing her soft curves with my fingers. Her fingers stopped and she sucked in a breath.

"Ah ah ahh, keep playing…" I breathed against her shoulder.

I slowly turned to straddle the bench so that I was flush against the right side of her body. I ran my nose up her arm and into the crook of her neck, inhaling all that was Bella.

_**When you're in my arms and I feel you so close to me**_

_**All my wildest dreams came true**_

My hands skimmed across the exposed skin of her torso, making her muscles twitch and her fingers pause again.

"Please don't stop," I begged, I was sure as fuck not above it when it came to her, and gently sucked her earlobe into my mouth eliciting another shudder to roll through her.

The feel of her skin under my hands was something I'd never grow tired of. I wanted to worship her. Show her just how much I wanted her. I swept her hair to one side and began nuzzling the soft flesh under her ear as my hands drifted higher toward those breasts I never wanted to let go of. Bella rolled her head to the other side giving me more access and continued to sing, though the words came out more and more breathless.

_**I need no soft lights to enchant me**_

_**If you'll only grant me the right**_

_**To hold you ever so tight**_

_**And to feel in the night the nearness of you**_

I wound my arm around her small frame and cupped her left breast as my right arm dipped below the crumpled edge of the sheet to between her legs. My fingers slid between her wet folds as I rolled her nipple between the others.

"Oh… _god,_" she moaned and ceased playing, spreading her legs wider and leaning back into my arms.

Bella turned, gripping my neck and pulling me to her. Her tongue slammed into my mouth and I greedily took everything she gave me. I scooted closer, grinding into her side from our awkward position.

My dick didn't care, he knew it was her and he'd eventually be where he needed to be. I just wanted to make it good for her this time. Before… it was a bit of a frenzy, not that it wasn't good for her, or so I thought. Bella panting and pulsing around me for the first time was something I'd never forget. However, I wanted to take my time… well, for as long as I could control it.

I ran my tongue across her collarbone and down to the valley between her breasts before I swept my tongue across the one I wasn't groping. I groaned as the bud hardened in my mouth and sucked a little harder.

"Edward…" she sighed and my cock twitched against her thigh.

I grunted and added another finger to my ministrations. Fuck she felt so good. Everything about this woman drove me crazy. Her smell, her touch, those fucking noises she made, her… _taste_. I knew what I wanted.

"Bella…" my voice was thick as I murmured against her skin. I pulled my fingers away and brought them to my lips. The smell of her arousal was a heady mixture and I quickly sucked my fingers clean. "Damn, baby."

I gripped her hips, yanking her to her feet. The sheet slipped to the floor and she was naked in my arms once again. I spun her around and lifted her so that she was sitting on top of the piano.

_Fucking perfect. Richard Gere, you are a genius._

"Edward," she giggled. "What are you-"

I cut her off with my lips as my hands worked over her body. Cupping, tugging, pulling, licking, sucking.

Her feet dangled over the edge and the more she moved the more notes she struck filling the room with a cacophony of noises. That would never do. I wanted her noises, hers and hers alone.

I lifted her feet and I closed the lid to cover the keys, the wood slamming echoed in the room. I ran my hand down the middle of her chest, pushing slightly so she would lie back. Bella gasped as her back hit the cool wood and I grabbed her by the knees pulling her toward me. She was bare, spread before me and glistening with her arousal.

My man pride swelled knowing that was me who did that and I couldn't help the smirk that spread across my face. She was so fucking hot like this, completely at my mercy. I leaned down, tasting the skin across her hips and her smell surrounded me. I wanted to dive right in and lick her pussy clean, but Bella deserved some serious teasing after what she put me through. Granted, I caved, and caved hard, but still, tit for tat.

She scooted closer to me. "Edward," she whimpered.

"Bella…"

"Please…"

"Please what?" I murmured against her soft flesh.

"Just please." I heard the need and desperation in her voice, but I wanted more. I wanted the words.

"Bella, to get it, you're going to have to say it," I taunted, even though I knew I'd give in probably in the next couple of minutes. I swiped my tongue across the juncture between her leg and her sex.

"Ungh god," she moaned. "Tongue… more…"

I placed an open-mouthed kiss right above her slit. "What was that?"

She quickly propped up onto her elbows and looked at me with pure hunger in her eyes.

"Fuck me with your tongue, Edward."

I grunted at her words and hardened more than I thought possible. I slipped one hand under her frame to hold her up and used my other hand to spread her folds before I licked her from bottom to top.

"Fuck!" she whined. "Please… _please_ don't stop."

"Not until you're screaming, baby."

With that, I dove in tongue first. Her taste was indescribable, like it was made for me. Sweet and salty and a smell that just made me want to bury my face there and lick her clean.

It felt like kissing satin. Warm, wet, dripping satin. I was drowning in essence of Bella and I never wanted to come up for air. I moaned against her slick skin while her legs clamped down around my shoulders.

I sucked her clit hard between my lips and swirled my tongue around the swollen flesh.

"Jesusfuckingchrist," her hands shot out and tugged my hair and she ground herself on my face. I fucking loved it.

I slid a finger inside, keeping my motions soft for now. "Are you sore at all?" I asked.

"God," she mewled with her eyes squeezed shut and shook her head. "Feels… so good."

"Look at me, Bella."

I needed to see.

I twisted a second finger inside her as she lifted her head to watch. She hissed and bit her lip, bucking her hips hard against my hand. I held her gaze as I bent back down and took her clit between my lips once again.

"Shit… ah _fuck,_" Bella gasped and I felt her walls begin to squeeze my fingers. My cock twitched in anticipation of being inside her again.

I pushed my tongue inside and pressed hard on her clit and was rewarded with my new favorite sound in the entire fucking world.

"Edward! _Fuck_," she cried out has her orgasm took over. Her body tensed and I felt her nerves pulse around my tongue and lips. Her reaction to me was incredible. I had never been so turned on and smug at the same time.

Her breathing slowed and I gently pulled away, placing light kisses down her legs and up to her stomach.

"That was… Jesus," she giggled lightly. Bella sat up slowly, still in a bit of a haze. Her skin was flushed, eyes glassy, lips slightly swollen from our kisses. Fucking gorgeous.

I brushed her hair back behind her shoulder, still tasting, still kissing, still sucking. Bella's fingers wove into my hair and she sighed into my arms.

This woman owned me. Pure and simple.

I pulled off the piano and set her gently on the floor. As much as I wanted to fuck her on it, her weight was one thing. Hers and mine together as I pounded relentlessly into her would be entirely different.

Her lips descended across my chest and I gripped her hips instinctively grinding into her.

"Mmm, come on," she grabbed my hand and started walking to my room.

"Bella we don't – I just wanted to do that for you."

She smirked and pushed me back down on to the mattress. "And leave you with that delicious looking problem?"

Bella called my cock delicious. Fuck I really did love this woman.

"Plus," she whispered as she climbed over me and slowly stroked me with her warm hand, "I've never been on top," she grinned and rolled her hips against mine.

"Fuck, can't wait… please."

"Me either," she whispered so seductively I felt myself leaking at her words.

She left briefly and I quickly yanked off the boxers I'd thrown on before. Her naked form was crawling above me once again and I lost sight of everything but Bella. Bella's hands. Bella's hair. Bella's touch. Bella's warm, hot tongue…

"Shit," I hissed as felt her plump lips suck delicately on the tip of my cock.

I felt her tongue dip into my slit and I could no longer be held responsible for my actions. I bucked into her mouth and heard myself groan deeply. Then there was warm and wet everywhere. Tongue and sucking. Swirling and tasting. I wasn't going to last long.

"Bella, fuck, stop… I want to be inside you," I panted as let go of my vice grip on the crumpled blanket.

I opened my eyes just in time to see her pull out the condom and slowly roll it on. She slid her folds against my cock and it was all my sanity could take.

"Need you… have to…" I was incoherent with lust.

She positioned herself over me and then I slid into my own personal heaven.

"God _yes_," I groaned.

"Oh fuck," she stilled above me adjusting to the new angle. I forgot most of this was new to her. Frankly it was a little hard to remember anything when I was buried inside her.

"It's deeper," I grunted and she nodded still breathing heavily. "You ok?"

"Uh huh," she whispered. I glided my hands up her legs that were on either side of me, until I was holding her hips.

"Do you know how fucking sexy you are right now? How amazing you feel?" I choked out.

At my words she gently rocked her hips. If verbal encouragement was what Bella needed, she would fucking get it.

I groaned through her movements. "So good… Jesus. Do you feel that? Do you feel how hard you make me? Only you, Bella… can feel this fucking good."

She moaned and her pace quickened slightly. I gripped her hips a little tighter and began pushing against her. She shuddered in my arms.

"Fffuck," she breathed. Her nails dug into my chest and I wanted her to leave a mark. "Again."

I repeated the movement a little harder and I could feel her reaction to me coursing through her body around me.

"Bella… holyfuckingshit," I grunted. I was already on the brink but there was no way I'd let go without her.

"There, god! _There_," she started to really ride me and I knew I was brushing against her g-spot every time she moved.

I couldn't control the profanities slurring out of me now. Her walls were fluttering around me around me already but she hadn't gone over the edge just yet. I brought my hand down to her clit and rubbed hard, slow circles over it.

"Edw…fuck Edward, too much… can't…"

"Yes, baby. Come, Bella. Let go!" I growled.

A high-pitched wail escaped her and she froze above me, clamping around my cock in a vice grip that sent me into the hardest orgasm I've ever had. I erupted into the condom, feeling stream after stream leave my body. Our noises echoed through the room and I'm pretty sure I could hear both are hearts beating at a maddening pace.

Bella collapsed on top of me and I wrapped my arms around her body cradling her to my chest. She was fucking incredible. Stunningly beautiful. Bella was _mine_.

I rolled her to her side, her expression still dazed, and I made quick work of disposing of the condom so I could get her back in my arms.

I crept back in beside her and spooned her to me. I was still reeling from the most incredible sex I'd ever had and then realized how perfectly she felt against me. How right it was to have her like this. How I really didn't want to let her go. Ever.

She rolled over then to face me and the expression on her face nearly took my breath away. Pure bliss radiated from her and I couldn't help but give it right back. She brushed a wayward strand of hair back from my forehead and sighed, but we didn't say anything. Not just yet. For now, there was nothing that could be said.

xx~xx~xx

I lost track of the hours, minutes, shit, it could have been days for all I knew. I measured the time only in the number of whispers and kisses shared. How many times she called my name out in ecstasy and I hers.

And the ever-growing pile of condom wrappers by my bed.

Finally we had both decided that some food and a shower were necessary. Of course, that led to an orgasm-off in the shower. She won, but watching her come was almost nearly as satisfying for me as it was for her, so I definitely didn't mind.

When we finally looked at a clock it was four o'clock in the afternoon. I heard her stomach snarl and I grinned.

"Food?"

"Fuck yes."

I looked in my fridge as Bella sauntered through the kitchen picking her purse up off the floor. My pants she had borrowed last time she crashed hung on her frame again. They were now officially hers, and she swam in one of my white under shirts.

_Mine._

"Shit, do you mind if I call Al and Rose? Apparently if they don't hear from me by five, they're going to quote 'call five-oh' on my ass," she chuckled.

"I have kind of kept you hostage."

"If all hostage situations included multiple orgasms and mind blowing sex, I don't think people would mind as much," she smirked and my pride swelled again.

I started to put together some sandwiches and tried not to eavesdrop, but I couldn't help it.

"Chill! I'm fine you guys! Yes, I'm with him…Good…" she giggled. "Yes…I lost count…I'll tell you later! Tell Jake I'm good? Thanks, love you guys too."

She sat back down at the counter and I pushed a huge sandwich toward her.

"Mmm this looks good," she mused and took a huge bite, and groaned at the taste.

My dick twitched at the noise. I didn't know how it was possible but everything she did was a goddamn turn on.

"So," I started.

"So…" she blushed and I think we both realized there hadn't been much in the way of talking in the last few hours.

"Going to tell your friends what a stud I am in the sack? You better talk me up," I joked.

"Talk you up?" she smiled. "I'm going to have to talk you down so they don't go hump Jasper and Emmett in a jealous rage!"

We laughed and the brief post-coital awkward slipped away.

"Why don't you tell me the story behind your tattoos, I mean if they have one," I backpedaled. She could have just liked the designs for all I knew.

"Well, the one on the back of my neck," which I had gotten a good view of when I took her from behind earlier, I smirked to myself, "It's Latin and means 'a lily among the thorns.' Kind of a reminder to me to always try and find the good stuff."

I nodded. "And the music staff is pretty self-explanatory," I ventured.

"Mmhm, except I want to add notes to it one day. I just don't know which ones."

"The flowers?"

She shifted in her a seat a little. "Um, I thought you would recognize those actually. Your grandma grew them. I have no idea what they're called, I just remember what they looked like and described them to the artist."

"Bella… wow. That's really kind of sweet."

"She was a big part of my life for a while, a good part, and I wanted something good there."

She got a little quiet after that and I knew, like I always knew with her, there was something beyond the surface. Always there. Always just beneath, hiding, but I didn't want to push.

"What about yours? On your shoulder? Unless you have more that I somehow missed in the fray…"

It was my turn to be uncomfortable. "I want to say I was drunk and just got some stupid Chinese symbol when I was hammered one night in college."

"But?"

"But… it means hope," I sighed, really not wanting to talk about this, but Bella had shared with me. I owed her this much.

"I um, got it with my last… girlfriend," I swallowed hard and watched for her reaction. She merely nodded and waited for me to continue. "We were together a while, pretty serious I guess. We had talked about having kids and if we had a girl she wanted to name her Hope."

I didn't need to tell her I had gotten it in a fit of rage when Tanya thought I was cheating on her, again, and took a needle to my skin to prove she was what I wanted. Now it served as a much heavier reminder.

Her eyes dropped to her plate and she made patterns out of the condensation left on the counter from the water glass. "So you mean _really_ serious?"

"It was."

"This is the one that ended badly?"

I nodded, but I still wasn't ready. We had just had our moment. Our time. It shouldn't be over so quickly. I needed more bliss with her first.

"But it's over, Bella. Really, really over." I reached for her, cupping her face in my hand so she'd look at me and know. "You, you're all I've thought about. Think about. Dreamt about, since we met."

My favorite blush colored her cheeks once more as she bit her lip. My cock twitched again and I was flooded with memories of the night and just a few hours before.

"New subject?" she hedged.

"Hmm like how none of your friends here knew you played the guitar? Or could sing like that? Or that you were in what seemed like a pretty fucking popular band in high school?"

"Oh that," she giggled.

"Yes, that."

"Ugh, fuck. This is going to sound so typical teen-psych 101 or some bullshit."

I leaned over and gently kissed her ear. "Please…"

"Careful, Cullen. Show all your cards too early and I'll know you're just trying to play me from now on."

"But it worked, right?" I waggled my eyebrows and she just shook her head chuckling.

"You fucking know it did," she sighed. "So the story goes: Mom leaves dad and daughter. Dad stops paying attention daughter. Daughter 'lashes out' for attention and rebels. What do you do to rebel in high school? You join a rock band," she shrugged.

I stared at her incredulously. "That's it?"

"Yup, in a tiny little nutshell."

"What about in a bigger nutshell? Like a hazelnut?"

"Or an Austin Powers? 'Help! I'm in a nutshell! How did I get in this bloody great big nutshell?" she started to cackle. Another favorite Bella sound. I needed to hear this one almost as often as her cumming.

"Yeah, that size."

Her lips pursed. "Another story for another time?"

I hadn't shared entirely with her so I couldn't expect Bella to relinquish all her secrets to me just yet either, even though I desperately wanted to know. I knew we would get there.

"Another time then."

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**A little more insight to their backgrounds... yes? Don't fret, Bella's tale will be coming to light soon enough I promise. Just remember this is about peoples' natural ability to hide behind facades. **

**Now, do your duty and leave insatiable Sexward some love. Because apparently he just can't get enough. **


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: You're clearly sick of my apologies for the delays in chapters and totally know by now that I have no regular posting schedule. I wish I was better at it, and I'm working on it!**

**Many thanks to my fantabulous beta jarkin33. Who, if you didn't know, has started posting some of her own stuff, PLEASE go and check it out! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. SM does and has the bank account to prove it. Lucky bitch. **

**

* * *

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**Chapter 19**

**BPOV**

A couple of weeks passed by at warp speed and I was just along for the blissful, Edward, orgasm-induced ride. We couldn't stop touching each other when we were near. I had no idea my body could feel so wound up and relaxed at the same time. Of course when we couldn't touch other or really talk, like during class, that was when I turned into a squirming mess and essentially attacked him as soon as I could.

He did not complain.

Alice and Rosalie however, were a different story.

One surprisingly sunny morning, I was deep in my Edward and Bella happy bubble. I had shared my infamous French toast recipe with him that morning, and I was sitting on his couch editing my latest English paper with my feet in his lap. He was holding the paper with one hand and slowly rubbing my right foot with the other.

_Focus, Bella. Oh…oh fuck that feels good._

A tiny groan slipped out of my mouth and I heard him chuckle.

"Focus, Bella…" he warned without moving his eyes from the paper. "It was your idea to study here remember?"

"Yeah, foot molestation aside," I huffed trying to sound annoyed.

"I would _never_ molest your feet baby… maybe grope them a little. Rub them… kiss them," with that he put a wet kiss right above my ankle and my thighs clenched together instinctively and I groaned again.

_Evil ankle-kissing bastard. _

I leaned forward and grabbed the paper out of his hand and smacked him over the head with it.

"You know damn well what you're doing to me. This is the only time we can really see each other over the next few days with work and midterms, so forgive me for trying to manage my time effectively."

I didn't move away quick enough because Edward grabbed me and straddled me across his lap before I blinked. I shivered when I felt his hardening cock under me. Fuck, was I always going to react like this? It just wasn't fair.

He let out a hiss next to my ear as I involuntarily ground into him.

"Like you don't know what you're doing to me?" he whispered in my ear. "Like you didn't plan to wear that flimsy excuse for a t-shirt over here. Like you didn't just shower torturing me with your fucking delicious smell? Don't be such a cocktease baby…" he bit down and sucked hard on my ear lobe and I was quickly losing any shred of resolve I had left.

"It's not teasing," I whispered against his yummy stubble. "If I plan to follow through."

We kissed hungrily and paused briefly as his hands slid up my back quickly disposing of my strategically worn t-shirt. He was just getting ready to work the clip of my bra when there was a loud banging on his front door.

"Bella!"

"Bella get your ass out here now!"

I cried out in frustration and dropped my head to his shoulder ceasing my gyrations.

"Let them listen, it won't take long," he implored and I gave him one seriously arched eyebrow.

The banging and yelling continued.

"They're going to break down your door if I don't answer."

"Ugh, fucking cockblockers," he pouted and tossed my shirt into face.

I pulled it back on and smirked. "Your cock has been _anything_ but blocked, Cullen. Now throw a pillow over that or think about dead puppies."

He scowled and blatantly readjusted himself. "Go let the vultures in…"

I went to open the door and forced a huge a smile on my face.

"Hey guys!"

"Don't you 'hey guys' us Bella Swan," Rosalie said and proceeded to push her way into the house.

"We've barely seen you lately!" Alice added.

"Oh PLEASE. When you guys first started seeing Jasper and Emmett, the only time I saw you both was in between fucks as you scampered between your rooms and the kitchen to get only fuck knows what kind of 'nourishment'!"

They shrugged at each other.

"You did steal my container of Cool Whip, Al," Rose laughed.

"Umm hi?" Edward said as he waved from the living room.

"Oh yes, you." Alice narrowed her eyes. "Well this applies to both of you. Apparently Jazz and Em miss you too or something."

"I've seen them," he protested.

"You are a horrible liar."

"Fine, so we've been… busy," I said. "Why are you banging on Edward's door when you could have just called me?"

"And miss the chance to harass you both in person? Please," Rose sneered.

"That, and to say that we are _all_ going out tonight. No excuses!" Alice nodded a little too maniacally for my liking.

"You guys, you both know our situation, we can't really be seen just yet and-"

"No buts. We'll be out as a group. It's Edward's brother and his best friend who your roommates happen to be dating. Don't even worry about it. Plus it's just dinner, it will be fun…" Alice started to get that sad hungry puppy look and I felt myself start to cave.

I shot Edward an "if we don't do this it will only get worse look" and he shrugged back and nodded.

"Fine, Al. You win.

She squealed and Rose looked smug.

"Now go get your stuff, you're coming back home so we can start getting ready."

"What? Dinner is hours away…" _A quickie won't take that long, and maybe that will take the edge off so I don't grope him under the table at dinner._

"Please. We have way too much catching up to do. Plus, I'm sure you don't want to talk about what you've been doing over here the last couple of weeks in front of the boys anyway."

"I don't want to kiss and tell," I gave Edward a "save me" me look and just grinned evilly. Fuck the things I wanted that man to do to me.

"Well that's good; we don't care about the kissing. If that's all you two have been doing we're going to have a serious talk about how to properly ride his di-"

"Ok we're going now!" I cut her off before my face just ruptured from all the blood rushing to it.

I started to pack up my school stuff and felt his hands slip around my waist.

"I'll see you later, baby," he murmured against my ear. "And maybe then we can have that serious talk about you riding my dick hmm?"

I shivered and spun around to face him. "As if you could form words," I challenged.

"Just the dirty ones… about how fucking perfect you feel around me. How much I love your tits bouncing over me. That I can feel you clench when you-"

"Ahem…?" a loud throat clearing interrupted our little world. "Yeah, we're still here, but if you insist, _please_ keep going," Rose said perched from one of the barstools in the kitchen looking rather amused.

I banged my head against Edward's chest.

"To be continued, sweet girl." With that he kissed the top my head and wrapped me in his arms. How he could go from dirty talker one moment to this sweet affectionate guy the next was beyond me, but I loved it. "I'll see you later tonight."

We kissed a little too inappropriately in front of my friends before we headed out.

I'd be lying if I said it didn't feel good to see my friends again. We talked and laughed and really did have a lot to catch up on. When it got down to the nitty-gritty about Edward and me I couldn't help but spill some of the more salacious details. It was just a little too good not to share.

"Everything is so good you guys, it's actually starting to weird me out a little."

"But?"

"But what?"

"Oh there was definitely a but at the end of that sentence."

"It's nothing major…"

"Bella, just tell us."

"Well, I'll start by saying I've never been more sexually satisfied in my entire life."

"Buuutttt," they said together.

"But… I want a little more?"

"More like how?" Rose wanted to get down to business.

"More like," I paused trying to think of the best way to say this. "Like he's got 'throw down' and being all manly like perfected. But I've never seen him just kind of lose control, you know what I mean?"

They grinned at each other.

"Bella," Alice started. "This is your first lesson in 'some guys have a hard time believing women want to get _fucked_'."

"Oh lord…" I buried my face in my hands.

"No it's true," Rose nodded. "Sometimes it takes a little more effort or something for them to realize they're not going to break you and that you'd like it a little rougher just as much as they would."

"A little fantasy discussion can help?" Alice prodded.

I did not want to have that talk only mere weeks into our "relationship" or whatever it was. I knew I should have kept my mouth shut.

"Oh god. Definitely not. We are so not there yet," I implored.

"Bella, if you know what you want, you shouldn't be afraid to tell him," Alice said.

"And I'm not! This is all just new, I think we're still learning things… just being in our own little world for now. Forget I said anything."

That was my own death sentence so to speak.

Some pitchers of beer and way too much food later, the six of us were sitting around a table at a restaurant when Alice and Rosalie's voices kept escalating.

"No! He's clearly the school girl type," Rose huffed.

"Please. He's got dirty jock and cheerleader written all over him."

"And Jasper has the 'tie me up and spank me' look written all over him!"

Jasper spit out a mouth full of beer and coughed loudly. "Uhhh what?"

"Ladies," Emmett's eyes narrowed. "Something you want to share with the class?"

"Alice and I were trying to guess you guys' sex fantasies," Rose shrugged.

_I'm going to kill them... evil geniuses._

"Aww baby, you know all you had to do was ask."

"That takes the fun out of our game!" Alice giggled. "I was guessing yours and Rose was guessing Jasper's."

"And I look like a bondage guy to you?"

Rose shot him a look and smirked. "Oh, whether you admit it or not, I totally know."

I couldn't help but laugh as an unmistakable blush spread across his cheeks and he became very interested in the beer list in front of him. Alice was going to have some fun with that information.

"And me?" Emmett asked.

"I said cheerleader… Rose insists school girl."

I snorted.

"You want jump in on this one?" he said skeptically.

"Please, you're way too easy to read."

Emmett grinned. "Well by all means, Bella."

"Wonder Woman," I said with full confidence.

His eyes narrowed before he guffawed loudly. "Bella wins!"

"What?" Rose and Alice screeched.

Emmett just shrugged and laughed. "The cape, rope, red corset combo? Please… no comparison."

I noticed Edward was keeping awfully quiet during all of this, but knowing full and well what my friends were up to, it wouldn't be for long.

"And what about you, hmmm?" Alice glared in his direction and then Rosalie turned as they shared a whispered debate.

"Please, Edward is way too easy figure out," Jasper said.

"Yeah, even if Jazz and I didn't already know we could tell you."

"You guys are fucking douches," Edward mumbled into his beer.

"Oh come on, E. You're definitely not the only one with a dirty librar-"

"Emmett!"

"-ian fantasy."

My man's ears turned bright red as he punched Emmett in the shoulder. "What the fuck man? Do you want me to go and tell Rose how many boxes of porn you had stashed in your room? Or how you didn't see a real pair of tits until you were 18?"

"Dude!"

We girls cracked up but as soon as the exchange died down I met Edward's eyes and his gaze darkened considerably. I shifted in my seat. Fuck, was it the booze or was it all of a suddenly really warm in here?

"Oh! That reminds me!" Alice blurted. "Halloween costumes!"

"Of course you would segue from fantasies to Halloween costumes," I laughed.

"It is a natural transition! Plus, now we can compete in pairs instead of just against each other," she grinned evilly across the table to the boys.

"Uhh compete?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah, there's this huge costume contest at the bar we've been going to the last couple of years and the person or pair with the best costume wins a big prize. It's usually a couple of concert tickets or a gift card to a nice restaurant," I said.

"And the couples ALWAYS win! Just because they're more clever or something," Alice fumed. "So this year, it's _my_, I mean one of our, turns."

"Better watch out, Jazz," Rose warned. "She's a bit ruthless when it comes to this kind of stuff."

"I've gathered… just promise me no tights baby."

"Oh if you need tights you will wear them… and like them," she glowered.

"Fuck me…"

"Later babe, later."

"Please say you'll spare me," Edward whispered to me across the table. "From tights. Fuck, and no drag either."

He looked genuinely worried and I laughed in his face. "Please, I've got this taken care of, and I think you'll actually love it. Very masculine."

I had been plotting my costume for a while now and having Edward around for the counterpart of it was going to be the cherry on top.

"Really? Why Miss Swan…have you just assumed you already have a date to this party?"

"I, uh well…" I had completely assumed we could go together. The party wasn't near campus and we'd be in costume after all. "You don't have to, I just thought-"

"Bella, relax. Of course I'll go with you. It sounds like fun," he grinned and then got serious. "Minus the tights of course."

"But of course."

"Though… you in some tights… with a short leather skirt," his hand under the table pushed my knees apart before he gently caressed the inside of my leg and my eyes fluttered closed. "I don't think I would object to that."

I opened my eyes again to find him leaning across the table toward me watching my every reaction. My eyes met his in a knowingly heated stare.

"Guys I think we're going to head out…" I said without breaking eye contact with him.

"Yeah, I need to work on my lecture." He licked his lips and I clenched my legs together.

There was a round of snorts from the table.

"Go on and get to it, you two," Rose said with a knowing smile.

We said our goodbyes and practically ran to Edward's car. A while later I lay in his arms as we caught our breath.

"So," he whispered. "Going out in public is completely overrated."

I giggled and closed my eyes. "Completely."

xx~xx~xx~xx

After that night, I really didn't see Edward outside of class for nearly a week. I even had to cancel our Wednesday session because of the amount of other homework I was drowning in. Midterms were a bitch and any English major can tell you that professors not only loved to give exams, but have you turn in papers at the same time as well.

On top of school stress, I was making up for forgotten shifts at the bar. Jake knew I was happy and enjoying my time with Edward so he let them slide, but once he called me saying it was time to get my ass back behind the bar, I knew I couldn't let him down.

That following Friday I took an earlier shift hoping I could get out of there before closing and see Edward, but dammit if the universe didn't have plans of its own.

"Bella, Kate just called in sick, and I'm already a server short tonight," Jake leaned over the bar giving me his best sad puppy face. "Can you please close up tonight and help with some tables when you can? I'll give you the day off after Halloween…"

"Rat bastard…" I huffed. "Fine, I'll do it."

"Thanks, Bells. You know how it gets in here on Fridays."

If I didn't know, I sure as hell found out. Between the yelling customers, a new server who was clumsier than me, and a keg that accidentally got rolled over my foot, by the time I got a five minute break, I almost cried in the bathroom stall. I took the moment to text Edward instead and tell him what happened.

He was understanding and said not to worry about it and that he thought my night was going to improve. After that comment I expected him to turn up at some point and keep me company while I finished out the night, but as the clock wore closer to two I gave up hope and moped my way through closing.

I dragged my exhausted ass home and almost collapsed through our door.

"Damn, Bella," Alice said from the couch. "What happened to you?"

I looked down at my disheveled appearance. "Just one too many spilled pitchers and a plate of chili fries and a gazillion screaming bar patrons."

"Hmmm well I think you need to relax and take a hot bath or something before you crash."

"Unless you want to find my drowned body in the tub tomorrow morning because I was too tired to get out of it and fell asleep, I don't think that's such a good idea," I started off toward my room.

"Well, don't rule it out…" she called.

I loved her for trying but all I could think about it was stripping down and falling into bed. I opened the door to my room and gasped.

Apparently, Edward had other plans.

Little tea light candles sprinkled the room. Soft jazz came from my speakers and as inhaled I could smell rich lavender coming from my bathroom with a slight hint of steam coming from under the door. Edward was perched on my bed looking extremely nervous.

"Edward?"

"I wanted to see you… and it sounded like you had a shitty night. So I called Alice," he shrugged sheepishly.

"You called Alice."

"Well yeah, I wanted to do something nice for you, I just didn't know what and she suggested something relaxing so I thought a bath might be a good."

I was still processing. "How long have you been waiting?"

"Not that long, I figured you'd be done sometime after it closed."

I was almost shaking with the outpour of emotion that threatened to burst from me, so I did the only thing that seemed to make sense. I dropped my bag on the floor, removed my clothes, and offered my hand to a now open-mouthed Edward.

"Coming?"

"I get it if you want some time alone…" his mouth said one thing but his eyes were clearly saying another.

"Cullen. Get your ass in that tub."

He grinned and stood naked before me in a matter of seconds before taking my hand and pulling me in the bathroom.

"Jesus… Edward." My voice broke as I saw the rest of his preparations. There was a bottle of red wine and two glasses on the edge of bath and rose petals sprinkled the water. "How did you…when? How?"

"I know you've been stressing lately and I thought you could use some serious relaxation time."

He took my trembling hand and helped me step into the steaming water. Edward climbed in behind me and slid down pulling me with him so that I was between his legs, my back against his chest.

My skin on his, the music, the gesture itself… I felt myself swooning and struggling at the same time. The onslaught of emotion was taking me by surprise.

"Thank you," I whispered. I hoped those two little words conveyed so much more.

He hummed and started rubbing my shoulders and I groaned embarrassingly loud. "You're welcome, though I get something out of this too." He planted a warm, wet kiss on my shoulder.

"Hmm and what would that be?"

"I would think the wet, naked, smoking hot girlfriend between my legs would be rather obvious."

_Girlfriend._

It was the first time he's used the word. It was the first time I thought the word. My breath caught in my chest.

"Is… is that ok?"

I sniffled while nodding and quickly turned to hug him and bury my face in his neck.

"Hey hey… what's with the tears? Not exactly the reaction I was going for."

I couldn't form words. The sobs were starting to become louder. This was so perfect. _He_ was so perfect. It was too much.

"Bella… baby, talk me to me." He pulled me back from my death grip and cupped my tear-stained face. "Did I do something wrong?"

I shook my head and took a deep breath in an attempt to speak. "No… too good. So sweet…"

"Ok, you're going to have to help me out here." His words were soft and gentle but I could see he was concerned.

"No one, _no one_, has ever done anything so sweet for me before," I managed between shaky breaths.

His caresses over my shoulders, face, hands… they were so genuine. I didn't know it could be like this. Edward waited for more of an explanation.

I had to tell him why. Why I was so messed up. Why I was such a wreck when it came to anything slightly emotional with him.

"Talk to me. Please."

"You remember when I said I started to rebel, after my mom left?" He nodded. "Well, there was a lot more to it than that.

"I met the band, through this guy… Mike." I still choked on his name but pressed on. Now that I had started I didn't think I could stop. "He was pretty much 'the bad guy' at my high school. Only I didn't realize how bad until way too late."

"Fuck, did he hurt you? I swear to fucking god…"

"No, well, I'm getting there, ok?" The anger was bubbling behind Edward's eyes but he nodded and just pulled me closer as if to shield me.

"He thought it was weird that a cop's daughter would all of a suddenly want to start hanging out and smoking up, but I think it was a like a personal victory for him or something. Anyway, he was part of the band back then. So I would blow off school with him all the time to go Port Angeles, watch them rehearse, and then party with them after. It wasn't until Charlotte put a guitar in my hand that things started to get weird."

He blanched at that. "That seems odd."

I snorted and wiped some remaining tears. "Uhh yeah. Well, I started to get good and began rehearsing with them. Back then, Garrett played bass and managed while Char and Mike fronted. Garrett suggested one day that I fill in for Mike for a couple of songs and I think that's where it all started to go down hill.

"He started pulling me away from them. Telling me all this stuff about how they kept talking behind my back and were just being nice to me because of him. That was also around the time where pot and the occasional pills weren't enough for him any more. So we started doing blow all the time together and I just… let it happen."

I paused and took a deep breath, ashamed of the memories that were flitting through my mind. "This was well into my junior year… I hated myself but clung to him even more because as bad as he made me feel sometimes with his stupid mind fuckery, he was there, constantly saying how much he loved me. Since I didn't exactly have that going on a lot at home because my dad had completely checked out, I just accepted it and thought that's what love was about.

"Jake _hated_ the fact that I was dating him. But it was just one of those things where you're in so deep that no matter what anyone says you just can't see it, you know?"

Edward shifted me in his arms and nodded gravely. "Yeah… I know."

"I didn't like who I was when I was with him, but I was so far gone I just kind of lost my way I guess." I looked down to where our fingers were joined under the water. "Um… that's why I wasn't at your grandmother's funeral. Mike told me no one would want me there. That it would be better if I didn't go."

"Bella..."

"I wanted to. I was such a mess that day because as sad as it was, that's the only place I wanted to be. Instead, I was high out of my mind when we drove by the cemetery."

I was still disgusted with myself. When I looked back now, at how I let someone manipulate me for so long…

"So, what happened? With you and… him."

"His mind games got even worse. He started pressuring me to have sex and… well I didn't really want to, but I felt obligated or something."

"He didn't force you, did he?" The murder was back behind his eyes.

"No! No, it was consensual, but," I looked away ashamed. "He basically used my body to jack off with. When I told him to stop because it hurt, he said get use to it and only pushed harder. I cried the entire time and got so fucked up after I blacked out.

"That must have been over spring break, because Jake was home then. I remember telling him after, that I wasn't comfortable doing it again, and he gave me the strength to tell him. That I should wait until I was ready again. So when I told Mike that…"

My voice broke as barrage of memories rampantly ran through my head and my fingers automatically reached for the scar hidden by my tattoo. I wasn't ready to go there just yet. I had said enough for now.

"He freaked and broke up with me," I swallowed back the rest of the word vomit threatening to spill out. No need to tell him how truly fucked up I was. "After it happened things were just bad. I kind of lost myself and I took me a while to figure out how to live again I guess…"

I finally turned so I could see his reaction to my sordid story. I expected pity. Disgust. Cold indifference.

There was none of that.

"Come here," he whispered and crushed me to him. Edward's warm arms cradled me to his chest where he held me until the water turned cold.

I was so drained from the day and my emotional outburst that I fell asleep and barely remembered him pulling me from the tub and drying us off before placing me into my bed.

"Stay," I clutched his hand needing his touch now more than anything.

"Where else am I going to go?" he smiled softly and slid under the covers next to me.

When we joined together that night something had clearly shifted between us, palpable and scary. He whispered my name reverently, over and over as we clung to each other moving languidly at first and then steadily increasing our pace until we both reached our ends.

I had never felt more vulnerable and more cared for at the same time. Piece by piece Edward Cullen was tearing down my carefully crafted wall. I was terrified, elated, and overwhelmed.

I was in love.

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**So there you have it... well at least a large part of it. Bella's story has layers though so please stick with me. **

**Halloween and some other fluffy goodness up next. **

**Also, in a bit of a self-pimping note, my O/S for the Wayward Pushers "I'm With the Band" contest won first place! It's on my profile, would love it if you checked it out as well my entry for The Cherry Exchange. Voting is now open for that as well and can be found if you search under "community" for "The Cherry Exchange."**

**As always, thanks for reading! Feedback is always welcome and appreciated. **


	20. Chapter 20

**No excuses. I am le suck at updating. Massive apologies. I love you all who read.**

**Much thanks and gropes to my glorious beta Jarkin33 (twitter: jaimearkin) who not only turned this around ridiculously fast, but is also an amazing writer as well, please check out her stuff!  
**

**Disclaimer: I clearly own nothing Twilight because if I did, my editors would stab me for never turning anything in.**

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**EPOV**

I couldn't fall asleep for the longest time. Every slight noise or twitch Bella did in her sleep sent my nerves into overdrive. She seemed so fragile before, spilling these secrets to me that I was pretty sure her closest friends weren't even aware of.

In sleep though, she looked peaceful and relaxed and the sky turned to gray as I watched her chest rise and fall. I mulled over all the information she shared with me and I still really couldn't comprehend how she'd been through so much and appeared so carefree at the same time. It was easy to tell there was something brewing below Bella's surface, but I had no idea it was anything like that.

The fact that she trusted me enough with this information made me feel extraordinarily worthy and completely shitty at the same time because I was still holding out on her. Questions ran through my head about what her reaction might be. Would Bella think I have this radar for dating girls with baggage? Would she want to deal with _my_ baggage on top of hers? I was driving myself mad.

I tried to sleep a little longer but eventually just decided to get up and possibly make something for breakfast. I was whisk deep in a bowl of eggs when I heard a giggle behind me.

"Something funny about your boyfriend making you breakfast?"

A pair of arms wrapped around me from behind and giggled against my back. "Only when he's wearing Tazmanian Devil boxers."

I turned and scooped her up to put her on the counter while I finished up. "Hmm, I could say the same for my girlfriend in Rainbow Brite feetsie pajamas," I said while taking in her Saturday morning ensemble.

Bella scoffed. "Umm they are not feetsie pajamas. My feet are just cold. I just may or may not have matching socks…"

Fuck she was so cute. I leaned to give her a quick kiss and held back a groan as she kissed back with fervor.

"Don't start anything unless you want your eggs to get cold."

She snorted and then started cackling. Did I miss the big joke about eggs?

"Uhh…"

"Sorry!" she panted out between laughs. "That just reminded me of the worst pick up line ever!"

"Which is?"

"Well it's more of a response to a pick up line," she explained and then cleared her throat and dropped her voice. "Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" She paused and held up her hand. "Unfertilized."

I almost missed the omelet I was flipping. "That's not _that_ bad, funny, but definitely not the worst."

"Then by all means enlighten me." She slid down and grabbed the juice from the fridge as I scooped the omelets onto some plates.

"Hey beautiful, why don't you come over to my house and study some math? We'll add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and I'll multiply."

"Oooh, I like that one! How about 'that dress looks great on you, but it would look better on my floor.'"

I chuckled. "Used it. Worked like a charm."

"Oh really?"

"Absolutely not. I was hammered and Emmett dared me to say it to some girl. Her handprint was still on my face the next day."

"Serves you right," she grinned.

"I bet if I said that to you I would have gotten away with it."

"So sure of yourself, Cullen."

I put the skillet into the sink, grabbed her hands and spun her so that her back was against my chest and she was trapped between the counter and my now growing cock. I nuzzled in the fine hair at the nape of her neck before licking the shell of her ear.

"Baby… you look fucking sexy as hell in those pajamas... but they would look much better on the floor," I whispered.

I heard a tiny whimper escape her lips and I smirked against her neck.

"Oh for fuck's sake you two, not near the food!"

My hands immediately dropped from her hips and we both spun around to face Emmett in Marvin the Martian boxers.

"Jesus, Emmett! Wear a bell or something!" Bella laughed. "And is there a thing with the Cullen boys wearing cartoon boxers that I don't know about?"

Emmett and I looked at each other as we both mumbled something incoherently.

"What was that?" she asked incredulously.

"Our mom buys us boxers for our birthdays every year," Emmett hastily admitted.

I watched Bella's eyes narrow and then pop open as she laughed loudly. "Oh my god… that's just so… precious!"

"Would you rather I just not wear them?" I said in her ear.

She shivered as Emmett screamed, "Again, NOT near the food!"

"It's not your food anyways, asshole!" Bella cackled, grabbed the plates, and scooted past Emmett before he could react. "Cullen! Breakfast in bed!"

"I think I saw some Pop-Tarts in the pantry?" I smirked and managed to dodge his punch as I practically ran back toward Bella's room.

Seeing Bella's room the night before had given me a glimpse into a side of her I hadn't seen. Concert posters, clothes, school books, the typical stuff was strewn about. But what fascinated me the most were the pictures and mounds of books on her bookshelf. I told myself it wasn't snooping if they were sitting out in the open so I poured over the titles and old family photographs that she thought were important enough to keep. She had such a wide variety of books I found myself worried I wasn't going to be able to keep up.

So over omelets in bed I asked her about them and we spent the next couple of hours talking and fighting over our favorites. Things felt easy. Natural… like we had been doing this forever. Bella kept me on my toes but I never felt more relaxed or happy than when I was just with her and I hoped she felt the same way.

I knew last night that something had changed between us and I'm pretty sure she could feel it too. When she woke I expected to see the overwhelming vulnerability in her eyes again and I was nervous she was going to regret letting me in on her life but it was completely gone. Except for the slight puffiness to her eyes, no one would have ever guessed that just hours ago she was practically sobbing in my arms. I felt so helpless while she told me what happened to her and I had to resist the urge to just fucking break something to make myself feel better.

How anyone could have treated of her like that, how her father essentially let her fend for herself, how she managed to get her shit together so completely was mind boggling, especially to me. I couldn't help but compare our situations even though they were completely different, how we reacted initially seemed so similar. We both completely shut down and stopped living, but instead of wallowing and relying on others to clean her shit up, Bella pretty much did it on her own by sheer force of will.

I was almost jealous of that.

I knew how much damage just one person could cause to another, all too well. Bella and I related so well but I never imagined we would have that in common.

I was in love with her before, but last night I fell so completely that I didn't even scare myself when I thought about what it would be like to wake up to her every morning.

But there was a little pin that kept poking at my happy bubble.

_You haven't told her about Tanya yet, fuckwad. When she finds out you're the reason your last girlfriend killed herself she'll leave you and then where will you be? Drowning in a bottle of scotch again only this time no one will think you're worth saving._

_It's not time_, I argued with myself. _It wouldn't be fair to unload on her after everything she just told me_.

I was going to tell her. Sometime. Eventually. Probably.

The battle raged in my head as I forced a smile and another laugh as Bella argued the finer points between some authors she loved.

_Soon. For now I just need her._

xx~xx~xx~xx

I looked warily at the contents spread out on my bed. All Bella had asked me was if I had a black suit and socks and she would provide the rest. I looked at the wig, bolo tie, and small pillow with confusion and picked up my phone. I hope she wouldn't mind the interruption. Bella was getting ready with the girls and then we were all meeting up at the bar for the Halloween party.

She picked up a few rings in.

"Hey you!" she giggled and I guessed they started the party a little early.

"Hey boozie, having fun?" I could almost hear her eyes roll over the phone.

"We're just getting ready; do you like your costume?"

"Well, that's what I called about… I'm a little confused."

"Umm how? Frankly I thought it would be really obvious once you put it on."

"Well I get the wig and tie… but the pillow?"

"That goes under your shirt."

"Oh… uh ok."

"Don't be nervous! It's going to be awesome and you'll love it. I'll see you in a couple of hours ok?"

"Sounds good, baby."

A couple of hours later I was staring at my reflection in awe. If I looked like this… that meant Bella was… my pants tightened considerably. I couldn't fucking wait to see her in her costume.

When I went to Emmett's to pick up him and Jasper, I knew I owed Bella big for not torturing me.

"Ahhh dude, what the FUCK?" Jasper swung the door open and took in my get up while I busted out laughing at his.

"Jasper… the sequins, seriously a good look for you," I managed between guffaws.

He was Cher. To a T. Jasper had a long black wig on and a sparkly dress with a seriously dangerous slit up the side. He growled and stormed off to the kitchen and knocked back a beer within minutes.

"Hey, you told her no tights…" I smirked.

He glared and grabbed another drink. "Fuck. You."

"Seen Emmett?"

"Not yet. He's still finishing getting ready. But damn, yours is awesome. Lucky bastard."

I gave a little spin to show off and got a bottle cap chucked at my head.

Emmett came out of his room then and I clapped whereas Jasper mumbled something about "cruel and unusual."

"Fuck… that is…"

"I know, man! Rosie did well. I was really worried we'd end up being Tarzan and Jane or some bullshit, but this is pretty damn cool. Plus, I get a sword!"

A 15 year-old in a 28 year-olds body… I shook my head and laughed.

"Farm boy, get me a beer," I waved dismissively.

"Fuck that, I'm the Dread Pirate Roberts!"

"Well he wasn't the real Roberts was he?" I laughed.

He scowled. "As you wish… bitch."

I nursed a beer seeing as that I was driving down there tonight as Emmett and I continued to give Jasper shit for his costume. After a few drinks however, he began to embrace it a little more and we even got a little "if I could turn back time" out of him before he realized what was happening.

"Ugh, don't tell Alice that happened," he blushed and strapped on the most garish silver platform looking shoes I'd ever seen.

"Jesus Jasper… you steal those from a local stripper?"

I snorted. "Those could only belong to a drag queen."

"Fuck you both. Repeatedly. Up the ass."

When we got into the car, I casually selected "I've Got You Babe" from my iPod and another round of "fuck you's" and punches ensued.

By the time we made it downtown the line was out the door and I was stunned by the intricate details of other costumes I saw. Emmett was covering his ear and shouting into his phone before he just yelled "We'll see you in a minute!" and flipped it shut.

"They're already inside and Rose said to just drop her name at the door," he shrugged.

The bouncer gave Emmett the once-over before letting us right in.

I immediately felt more at ease in this place. There was room for dancing but there were also pool tables, and a bunch of booths and tables surrounding the dance floor. Slightly more relaxed than Warehouse but a good set up for a party.

A pair of arms slipped around my waist and I felt a grin spread across my face.

"Vincent Vega?" Bella dropped her voice and I laughed.

"Mrs. Mia Wallace?" I imitated Uma and had to blink several times just to make sure it was really Bella.

Her long brown hair was replaced with a cropped black wig and bangs and the white shirt was unbuttoned to a dangerously low level and I swallowed looking at her ample cleavage.

"Fuck…" I groaned.

"You like?"

I nodded. "Though I don't believe Uma's tits were hanging out so much…"

"Hah! It's Halloween, I had to slut it up a little," she laughed and looked behind me where Jasper and Emmett were still standing.

"You guys look great!" she managed with a straight face and then snickered in Jasper's direction. "See? I'm a good girlfriend," she poked me in the ribs. "That could have been you. Instead you get John Travolta as a badass assassin type from one of the best movies ever."

"I owe you big for this don't I?"

"Hmm we'll see how you feel about that later…" she hinted and grabbed my hand gesturing for us to follow her.

We were greeted with a few other people, some of their friends I recognized from the party. Alice and Jasper, once standing together, looked like they would be in the final running for the contest. She went all out. Short wig, mustache, vest, bell-bottoms… if it weren't for the outline of her boobs she might actually pass for the real Sonny Bono, well if he wasn't dead.

"Looking good, Alice," Emmett saluted.

She twitched the mustache a little and laughed. "You too. You lucked out by the way, you almost ended up in tights tonight… but I told Rose if she wanted to get laid she should butch it up a bit."

"And for that, I'll be eternally grateful," he chuckled and offered to go get a round of drinks.

The party was in full swing and the night was just turning into one of those events that I knew I would always remember with a smile. I had just downed the last of my beer when I felt a familiar pair of lips pressed to my ear.

"Hey you…"

My girl wasn't a lush, but fuck it if I didn't love a drunk, horny Bella.

"Hey yourself, baby," I grinned and slipped my arm around her.

"Mmm," she whispered and traced the edge of my ear with the barest of touches and I shifted in my seat. If she was ready to go that was damn fine by me.

"Bella," I warned, "Either you want to get fucked in the bathroom or you're ready to go."

She giggled into my neck. "Neither actually… promise you won't kill me?"

"Uhhh yes?"

"Good enough for me! Come on!" With that she grabbed my hand and as she dragged into the direction of the dance floor I heard an all-too-familiar voice through the speakers.

"_Ladies and gentlemen, now for the moment you've all been waiting for…"_

"Bella…?"

She doubled over in laughter but continued pulling me toward the center of the crowd.

"_The world famous, Jack-Rabbit Slim's twist contest!"_

"Oh you are so evil, woman!" I shook my head.

"Take a bow, Vincent Vega," she grinned.

"I don't have to take off my shoes do I?" I looked down at the floor, "Because… no."

"Ew, no please don't, but you do have to dance."

The twang of the guitar started up and I let the booze and Bella's infectious energy take over. I put on my best pouty-creeper-Vincent-Vega face and strutted around, twisting onto one leg, doing the swim, and any other moves I could remember from that scene.

Bella fucking glowed. She laughed, danced, laughed some more and if embarrassing my ass in front of a few hundred people did that for her, then I was in. No questions asked. Next thing I know she's jumped in my arms and sucking my tongue deep into her mouth. I fucking loved showing every douche looking on that she was mine. I grabbed her ass and gave it a squeeze.

She pulled back with mock shock on her face.

"Sorry, couldn't resist," I smirked.

Her eyes glazed over and she ran her hands down my chest. "Ready to go?"

"Hell yes…"

We said our goodbyes with quite a few sets of eye rolls from our friends. The entire drive back to my place her hands were anywhere they could touch me. She brushed right over my cock.

"Young lady I will pull this car over right now."

"But it's freezing out."

"With the way you're going that won't exactly matter to me a few minutes."

"Fine," she sighed and sat back into her seat. "Hey,"

"Hey what?"

"Thanks for being my date tonight."

I looked over at her, she looked smaller and less assured than just a few seconds ago. "Like I could say no to you."

She furrowed her eyebrows. "Thanks, but I mean, I know I'm younger and so are my friends, and you've lived this incredibly adult life and-"

"Bella," I grabbed her hand bringing it to my lips. "I had a great time tonight. Your friends are fun, and I've been told way too many times, mostly by my own brother, that I need to loosen up a little. And… well you do that for me. I like me more when I'm around you, like I'm more of myself or something."

I caught sight of her blush as we passed under a streetlight and pulled into my driveway. We stumbled in laughing over the text she just got from Alice. She and Jasper both being crowned as the best costume winners, except in the excitement his wig had fallen off and he was just a dude in a dress.

"I'm going to go change real quick," Bella grabbed the bag she dropped off earlier. "And then scary movie time?"

Scary movie meant cuddling, cuddling meant groping, and groping meant eventual fucking. I quickly agreed. I unbuttoned my shirt and removed the pillow and wig and had just settled into the couch when I heard a large thump followed by a loud, "son of a bitch!"

"Babe, you ok?" I called.

"Yeah, just stubbed my toe. Can you bring me some ice?"

"Be right there." The girl could dance but walking on a flat surface? An injury waiting to happen. I grabbed a hand towel and some ice.

"Here baby, what did you tr- oh holy fuck." I dropped the towel along with my jaw at the sight before me.

"Mr. Cullen… you must be quiet. This is a library."

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**A/N: Thank you so very much for reading. I expect ragey reviews for leaving it there... or just yelling at me to update more in general. Or ideas for naughty librarian scenarios. Or, well, whatever you feel like :)  
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